Bad Romeo Christmas: A Starcrossed Anthology (25 page)

After downing our shots, we hiss, and there's a little coughing from Cassie as the alcohol goes down.

"Happy New Year’s Eve, you guys," she manages to say through gasps. "Now, let's party our asses off."

Super Villains and Drama Queens

It's obvious the person who
designed this Superman costume didn't count on a dance off. Raising my arms is a challenge, but if I have to go through a little discomfort to wipe the floor with Ethan, then that's what I'm going to do.

"Give it up, Supes," he says, doing some sort of spinning thing that shouldn't be possible considering how much he's had to drink. "You're going down."

"Ha, don't you mean
getting
down?" I steal a few moves from John Travolta in
Saturday Night Fever
. The dude beside me in the full white suit tries to copy, but he's a freaking terrible dancer. Also, my prediction about him and
Avatar
girl was accurate, because there are bright blue marks all over his jacket and what look suspiciously like hand prints on his crotch. There's no way that guy's getting his security deposit back.

Just when I think I'm getting the better of Ethan, Liam shows up.

"Alright, ladies. Stand back and let me show you how it's done."

He goes into some cool hip-hop moves, and of course the bastard is a good dancer.

"Elissa, can you do something about this, please?"

She boogies on the sidelines. "I would, but I'm enjoying the view too much."

Cassie comes to the rescue. She stands in front of Quinn and pretends to send him off. "I'm sorry, sir. This is the Olympic dance off. Amateurs only. You're clearly in another league to these other yahoos."

Ethan and I stop and say, "Hey!" simultaneously.

Cassie shrugs. "Just calling it as I see it, gentlemen."

With a cheeky smile, she dances next to us, before Liam and Elissa join in. We may not be the best dancers in the world, but at least we're enthusiastic.

"Well, well, well, how fun," a condescending voice says behind us. "Superman and his little friends think they're dancing."

We turn to see a group of three guys watching us with supercilious expressions. One of them is dressed as Doctor Evil from Austin Powers, one is The Joker from
Suicide Squad
, and the one addressing us is wearing a super cool Loki costume that I'd compliment him on if I wasn't trying to stay in character.

"Loki," I say and cross my arms over my chest. "Just keep walking. You don't want to mess with us."

"Don't I?" he says with a sneer. He clicks his fingers, and the Joker goes and whispers something to the DJ. In seconds, the music changes, and the strains of “Uptown Funk" pour from the speakers. "Let's see you fend off these moves, Superman."

The three guys break into a fully choreographed routine, and there's no doubt these boys are trained dancers. They mix hip-hop with contemporary and jazz, and they're so damn good, I can only think of one way to beat them, and it's not pretty.

I turn to the others. "Stand back. I'll handle this."

Elissa grabs my arm. "No, Superman, you can't do this alone! It's suicide."

"I have to, Black Widow. I can at least buy you some time, so you can get to safety - the buffet table, maybe the bar."

"We won't leave you," Liam says, clamping his giant hand on my shoulder so hard, I bite my tongue to stop myself from making owie noises.

"Hawkeye, just go and keep the others safe. They're not even superheroes. Just hipsters with bad hair."

Ethan and Cassie flip me the bird then adjust their wigs.

As I turn to confront our enemies, Elissa takes my arm. "You're not going to do what I think you are, right?"

"Elissa, these assholes threw down the gauntlet. I'm just going to pick it up. Prepare to see them cry."

She tightens her hand. "Josh, no. You haven't done Le Dance Bomb since high school. You could die! Or, you know, get seriously out of breath."

"Then prepare to give me mouth to mouth, little lady, because I'm going in."

The super villains watch me warily as I stride over to them.

"Alright, gents," I say, feet wide and hands on hips. "You brought this into my classroom, so now, prepare to be schooled."

I start off slow, a step-touch here, a box-step there. They think they have me pegged and roll their eyes, but I'm just getting started. I move into what I call Disco of Doom: The Bus Stop, The Carwash, and something I made up called The Pogo Dandy. Confusion passes over their faces. They can't believe what they're seeing, and I don't have the heart to tell them they ain't seen nothing yet. Seamlessly, I morph into line dancing, complete with YIPs and YEEEHARs, and it's then I see the fear in their eyes.

That's right, boys. I'm going full dance spectacular, and there's not a damn thing you can do to stop me.

In quick succession, I hit them with The Nutbush, The Macarena, and a particularly ridiculous move Elissa dubbed Psycho Feta. When the villains get a load of that and start gazing on me in wonder, I know victory is within my grasp. Despite trying not to smile, their mouths curve, but it's not the undeniable victory I'm looking for. I need to break them.

My legs are cramping, and my lungs burn for air, but still I continue. My body is a blur as I give them The Electric Boogaloo, White-Hot Booty, and add some extra flair when I throw my cape over my shoulder so they can behold my twerking. Their smiles widen, but it's not enough. I throw in a demented version of the chicken dance, and one of them snorts but doesn't guffaw.

Goddammit. I'm so close to beating them, but I'm running out of steam. In a last desperate bid to break them, I throw myself into the moves from Thriller.

"Come on, Josh!" Elissa calls, and I screw up my moonwalk. "You've got this!"

My friends clap and cheer me on.

"Go, Kane, you magnificent weirdo," Ethan yells. "Bring it home!"

Despite their encouragement, my stamina is failing. The song is almost over, and I've run out of moves. If I don't think of something spectacular in in the next thirty seconds, this thing is all over, and Superman will be labeled a loser.

"Josh!" I turn to see Liam standing on the other side of the dance floor. "Let's do the lift."

I frown. He can't be serious. We tried it once in his apartment after we'd downed a bottle of tequila and watched
Dirty Dancing
, and he'd not only dropped me, he'd also pulled a muscle in his back.

"Liam, no. It's too dangerous."

He beckons to me. "We can do this. Come on!"

I shake my head. "Quinn, we can't ..."

"Goddammit, Kane, there's no time for debate! The song's about to end! Do the damn lift!"

I glance at the villains who are gazing at us smugly. I stop dancing and smile back. "You haven't won yet, bitches. Watch carefully, because I'm about to make you believe a man can fly."

Without waiting for their reaction, I run full pelt at Liam. Jesus Christ, I hope he was lying about not working out while he was on that stupid island, because I've put on about forty pounds of muscle, and I really don't want to die.

Everything seems to slow down as I reach him. He sets his mouth in a determined line before bending his knees and grabbing my hips, and when I jump into the air, he straightens his arms and pushes me above his head. For a gut-churning second, I think I have so much momentum I'm going to sail headfirst into the chocolate fountain, but at the last minute Liam corrects his position and I'm able to balance perfectly, one arm out in the classic Superman pose as my cape flutters behind me.

The sight is too much for the villains. They break into rapturous applause, as do the rest of the nearby partygoers. Even the DJ joins in by playing the Superman theme song.

The applause is still going when Quinn lowers me to the floor with a grunt.

"Fucking hell," he says as he stretches out his back. "How much do you weigh these days?"

"Rude, much? It's not polite to talk about a hero's weight."

Cassie and Elissa come over for hugs, and for the first time in all the years I've known him, Ethan looks impressed with me.

"You're insane," he says, clasping my hand and giving me a bro-hug. "But fuck, that was funny."

Even the super villains come over and congratulate me. It turns out, they're three of the hyena dancers in
The Lion King.
Appropriate.

Elissa orders another round of drinks, and I down my shot before heading over to a nearby couch to collapse. Damn, if I ever needed a reminder I'm not eighteen anymore, that dance off was it.

Elissa smiles as she comes and sits next to me. "That was freaking epic, my bestie."

"Yeah?" I say and rest my elbows on my knees. "I wish Angel were here to see it."

"Oh, she'll see it." She holds up her phone. "Don't you worry about that."

I lean back into the couch and sigh. "Cool. Wake me up when it's midnight, okay."

"Sure. Or, I could get us some food, so we can sit here and gossip about people."

She knows me too well. "Get the food."

···

"And that guy," whispers Elissa, "was caught backstage at
Seussical
, snorting cocaine off The Cat in the Hat's ass."

I laugh and wipe my mouth with a napkin. "I thought he went to rehab."

"He did. It didn't stick. Word is he's heading out to Hollywood. There's no way he can support his habit on theater wages."

I shake my head. It never fails to amaze me how much scandal there is on Broadway, and Elissa somehow knows it all.

While she devours a particularly large piece of brie, I study a girl a short distance away talking with Jack, Zoe, and a guy I haven't met.

"Lissa, don't be obvious, but do you know that whore over there talking to Jack and Zoe?"

A look of disappointment passes over Elissa's face. "I'm hoping it's the alcohol making you say that. Slut shaming girls isn't usually your thing."

"I'm not slut shaming. She's dressed as an ol' timey whore from the Wild West. Look."

She checks the girls out then shrugs. "She doesn't look familiar. Why?"

"She keeps glaring at Cassie."

"Seriously?" She indicates the guy next to glarey-girl who's dressed like a Wild West villain, all in black with a ten-gallon hat. "See him?"

"Yeah."

"That's Connor Baine. You remember I told you about him being in love with Cassie, right?"

"Ohhhh, yeah. Another Grovian I didn’t meet at the wedding. Cassie dated him for a while after Ethan dumped her, right?"

"Exactly. If the whore is staring daggers at Cassie, it's probably because she's the latest in Connor's rotating roster of girlfriends. He might have told her the story."

"Huh. Awkward."

"You got that right. Cassie and Connor used to be almost as close as you and I. But since they got all groiny with each other, they barely speak."

"See? This is why we were smart to never hit the sheets together."

"Also, because you're like my brother."

"That, too."

"And judging from the way Connor's been staring at Cassie, he's still holding a major flame. The boy needs to let it go."

I break into the opening strains of the Disney song, but Elissa gives me the stink-eye, so I shut up

"What about Zoe and Jack?" I ask. "What's their history?"

Elissa shrugs. "They were snarky friends in college. Doesn't look like that's changed."

"Then you missed their hot and heavy liplock earlier. And from what I overheard, they've been hooking up on the regular."

"Really?" She looks impressed I can contribute some juicy info for once. "Well, that's interesting. Zoe usually only dates guys who are rich or semi-famous. Even though Jack's doing well on the stand-up comedy circuit, he hardly gives her bragging rights."

She continues to talk, but I'm distracted by a flash of red on the other side of the room. When I turn to see what it is, I smile. There's a dark-headed girl talking with Marco, and she's wearing a replica of Lieutenant Uhura's costume from the original
Star Trek
series. A woman with excellent taste. She has her back to me, so I can't see her face, but she's flashing plenty of thigh. Dang, I'd almost forgotten how short that dress was. It barely covers her ass cheeks. Not that I'm complaining. She has incredible legs.

As I stare at her, I'm mildly horrified she's turning me on. This isn't supposed to happen now that I have Angel. Other women aren't allowed to have power over Magic Mike.

I avert my gaze and tell my dick to stand down. Well behaved penis that he is, he complies.

Maybe it wasn't the girl at all. Perhaps it was just the costume. Uhura was my first serious crush, and seeing her in those short skirts and long boots did new and unusual things to my twelve-year-old body. Coincidentally, that was when I discovered the wonders of masturbation. Ahhh, good times.

"Josh!" I'm brought back to earth when Elissa slaps me on the shoulder.

"Ow! What?"

"Stop staring off into space." Mentally, I whisper,
The final frontier.
"Angel's on the phone. Said you weren't answering yours."

I'm careful not to look in the direction of Sexy Uhura as I lean forward and take the phone. I don't think Angel would be impressed with me checking out another girl's legs. "Hey, sorry about not answering. I left my phone in my coat."

"It's fine. That's what I figured when I couldn't get you."

The music and crowd noise makes it hard to hear, so I block my other ear with my hand. "So what's up. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just wanted to hear your voice."

"Aw. I'm not sure how much you can hear, but it's the thought that counts. Are you on your yacht adventure yet?"

She laughs. "Yes, and it's amazing. We've cruised past the Opera House and the Harbor Bridge, and now they've laid out a full seafood and champagne spread. I could get used to this.

"Take photos. I want to see everything."

"I will. I'll text them to Elissa soon. It a beautiful day here."

I look out the giant picture windows next to us. "Yeah, well, it's snowing here. Not much, but all the people in Times Square will be freezing their balls off."