Arrest-Proof Yourself (39 page)

When telling the truth, your body language is
congruent
with your story. You do not fidget, slouch, avoid eye contact, or exude the stench of fear.

When your story checks out, the officer
^’
s incentive is to drive on. Police know that teenagers often carry dope in their pockets, but they generally want something more to make an arrest. Truth does not stimulate the hunting urge.

Truth bores cops. That’s a good thing. Remember it.

16

MAMA WAS RIGHT: STAY HOME AT NIGHT!

Y
es, your mother told you, “Don’t wander around at night!” Guess what? Mama’s right. Every mom and every cop knows there are more bad guys on the streets at night. That’s why aggressive cops like I was love the night shift in bad neighborhoods—because that’s when and where you make big arrests and rack up lots of points for fast promotion while enjoying the excitement of hunting and capturing the two-legged beast in all his, and occasionally her, nefarious glory.

Nobody has ever done any research on exactly how true your mother’s advice is—nobody, that is, except the FBI. As an instructor at the FBI academy, I taught the case of Ted Bundy, the Coed Killer, who began kidnapping and murdering women at Florida State University. The whole country was in an uproar, and the bureau and state and local law enforcement poured people and resources into Florida’s capital city. Bundy was an extremely savvy killer and left few clues, so the bureau and local police decided to cordon off parts of the city at night and stop every person and vehicle. It was total shutdown, the big heat. Naturally FBI agents expected to find some fugitives with outstanding warrants and some clueless idiots to be vacuumed up by local police, but what was actually discovered was astounding, even to a former cop like me. Investigators stopped, questioned, and ID checked several thousand people. They found out that, between midnight and 4:00 A.M.,
almost everyone interviewed had a criminal record
.

It was incredible. It was a perp parade. Practically every car contained dope, guns, and stolen merchandise. The local cops were going bananas arresting these goons, and the police pinball machine was ringing like a fire alarm as cops made more arrests in an hour than they would normally make in a month and racked up point scores they would never see again in a lifetime.

Tallahassee is a charming small city, the majority of whose inhabitants are state employees and state university faculty, staff, and students. It is not nearly as tough as Miami, New York, Atlanta, L.A., and other big cities. Yet if everyone on the streets late at night in Tallahassee is a present or former crook, the situation in big cities must be the same or worse. It is impossible to study this phenomenon in a scientific fashion because the only way to do so is to stop, question, ID check, and search every person and vehicle. Only law enforcement can do this, and constitutional protection of civil liberties prohibits such actions except under the most exceptional circumstances.

Common sense tells you the same thing. Honest people work during the day. At night they’re at home asleep. People who work the night shift are at work at night. The only people wandering around, hanging out or driving in areas where there is no shift work are bad guys. Who else could they be? Law-abiding citizens are all at home sawing logs or on their shift stoking the machine.

TO STAY FREE, STAY HOME

Hanging out at night is one of the biggest items in the crook profile. Solid citizens do not hang out on the streets. They have things to do and places to go. This obvious fact is the reason that, in many jurisdictions, hanging out is a crime called loitering. Hanging out triggers the hunting urge, since cops know that people who hang are likely to be doing something illegal that will enable the cops to make arrests and score points. So to stay out of jail, don’t hang out; hang in—out of sight of police.

If you’re wandering, hanging out, or driving at night during crook time, generally midnight to 4:00 A.M., police will assume you’re up to no good and they’ll have an incentive to stop you. Why shouldn’t they? You fit the crook profile just by being there. If you’re of student age, you’re in violation of most cities’ curfews. Remember Uncle Dale’s Golden Rule #1:

» IF COPS CAN
^’
T SEE YOU, THEY CAN
^’
T ARREST YOU.

As long as you’re at home, police not only can’t see you, but they also can’t get to you without a search warrant. For cops, night transforms the city into a target-rich environment full of high-point-value prey for aggressive, wily nocturnal hunters. So to stay free, stay at home, even if it makes you crazy. Even if your home isn’t the best, at least there you can watch TV, play video games, or read a book. In jail, it’s lights out at 8:30 P.M.! What a drag.

17

YOU CAN WIN BY GIVING IN

W
hen you are face-to-face with police, there are two contests going on.

1.
A CONTEST FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL DOMINANCE.
(Who
^’
s boss?)

2.
A CONTEST FOR PHYSICAL CUSTODY OF YOUR BODY.
(Do you get arrested or stay free?)

You want to lose the first contest in order to win the second. That’s right, lose in order to win. Cops are bosses of the street. They’re going to prove it to you anyway, so let them. This costs you nothing. You’re in front of the police only for a few minutes. Play your cards right, and you’ll win the second contest and stay free. Even if you’re carrying dope or have an outstanding warrant, if you let the cops win the psychological game and use other techniques in this book, you’re less likely to get searched, ID checked, and arrested. Even if you are arrested, you won’t pile up extra charges like resisting arrest, assaulting a law enforcement officer, and lying to police.

In regard to the psychological contest of who’s boss, the difference between clueless and savvy people is instructive. Savvy people instantly realize that cops and criminal justice are a separate subculture in which they are
not
players. Whatever power, money, and prestige they have accumulated in their world mean nothing to cops. They acknowledge at once that on the streets cops are boss. In front of cops, savvy people shut up and get polite. They let their lawyers do any arguing that has to be done. They know that the most important contest is staying free. Why get into an argument with a cop and get busted? It’s not worth it. So what if the cops prove they’re boss as long as the savvy person stays free? As a federal public defender pointed out to me, “Plea bargaining begins on the street.”

Clueless people, by definition, do not understand society’s games. They do not sense when they move from one social world to the next, and cannot adjust their behavior to fit the circumstances. They try to win the psychological game of Who’s Boss. In front of cops, they lie, cuss, and run, and if they’re really dumb, they hit the officer. Even if they were innocent when the cops stopped them, they start committing one of those crimes in front of cops.

YES, THIS IS AN INSULT

Being questioned by police is insulting. It makes you feel violated and used. It is, however, less insulting than being arrested. What I’m advising you to do when questioned by police is to pocket the insult. This is difficult and emotionally painful. You must lose the emotional and psychological contest in order to win the custody contest. Trust me. Once the cops leave you alone and you’re still free, you’ll feel better fast!

A WORD ABOUT SEARCHES

Police are not supposed to search you on the street unless they have reasonable suspicion that you are carrying a weapon or contraband. In bad neighborhoods this rule is a mere formality. Police always have BOLO (be on the lookout) notices for “black male wearing sports clothing,” “Hispanic male with tattoos,” “white male with facial hair,” and so forth. These descriptions fit almost everyone on the street, so on this basis the cops can search just about anybody. In high-crime districts, police can always say they were stopping everyone in the vicinity of a recently committed crime, or that you were acting suspiciously, etc.

Here the wealthy and savvy have advantages. If cops were to stop a rich guy strolling to the first tee at a country club, find some dope, and arrest him, they would get quizzed in court by a highly paid attorney. Did the cops actually have a BOLO for “male wearing Armani jacket and carrying Tiger Woods signature irons and a Callaway Big Bertha driver”? Fat chance. No probable cause. Rich perp gets released to the custody of his buddies at the 19th hole
¹⁴
for some very dry martinis and a thick, juicy steak.

SO WHATCHA GONNA DO?

When cops stop you, you’re at bat. Whether you strike out or get a walk (you don’t want to get a hit) depends on what you do. Here’s what I recommend.

STAND STRAIGHT.
No need to get ramrod stiff and at attention, just straight. This shows respect. Slouching fits the crook profile. Avoid it.

MAKE EYE CONTACT.
Staring at the ground is a suspicious behavior. When police see you flicking your eyes back and forth or twisting your head, they assume you’re preparing to flee. Don’t do this. Look slightly below the pupil level, not directly into the eyes. Don’t smile. Cops don’t like smiles.

TELL THE TRUTH.
Lying to police is a crime. Lying is complicated. Telling the truth is simple.