A KeyHolder's Handbook (5 page)

Now, what about making some of these fantasies become reality? That's another nice thing about being in charge. If you want to paddle him like you told him in that fantasy, you can. If you never want to see him perform fellatio on another man, you won't have to. But, on the other hand, if you do, you can. You might be surprised just what he will do with the right incentives.

My husband, for example, could not handle it if I were to tie him to a chair (with or without his chastity cage), and then have sex with another man (or two), while forcing him to watch. I know this. I would never do it, because I know the emotional pain he would endure would be too much for him. But... That does not prevent me from telling him that I just might do that, some day. It arouses him, and that is my only goal.

So you see, you can use these fantasies to turn him on without putting yourself through the pressure of having to tell him a fantasy. Believe it or not, I was never one for talking during sex. When I was a slave I hated it when my husband (then Master) would order me to tell him a fantasy. I was no good at coming up with a story, let alone the details required to make it sexually exciting. So I usually failed miserably. But when I learned this little secret, and put it into use, I became the best story teller he ever met. That's because I don't think of them as stories, or fantasies. I think of them as something that I can do, if I want, and that is easy to talk about. I don't even have to use “foul” language that I am not comfortable using.

So don't let yourself fall into that trap. Don't try to tell him any fantasies. Simply tell him things that you could do to him, whether you really would or not, and you will find it so much easier to talk during sex. Have fun with it. Tell him things you would really like to do. Don't ever tell him that you wouldn't do them for real. He needs to think you would. It will be much more of a turn on for him if he thinks you might actually follow through with the things you have told him. The truth is, you might. At least for those things that you would enjoy doing. There is always a way.

Service Play

What is “Service Play?” Put simply, that is making him do all those household chores you hate doing, or waiting on you hand and foot, or giving you a nice foot or body massage after a long hard day of teasing.

You have your partner's genitals locked up in a cage of some sort. He can't have an orgasm, or even masturbate without your permission. So use it to your advantage. There is no rule in male chastity that says you can not have him do some of those chores you hate doing. So make him do them. You don't have to be mean about it. You don't have to shout at him to get them done. All you have to do is ask him nicely to cook dinner, wash the dishes, take out the garbage, massage your feet, or anything else you would like him to do for you.

But he won't do those things for me. He never has before. He thinks those things are “woman's work” and refuses to do them. Really? He wants you to tease him and give him an orgasm and you think he won't do those things to get it? Try him. You might be surprised what he will do for thirty minutes of physical teasing or the promise of an orgasm. You can even give him that orgasm you promised, just don't mention that you planned to ruin it all along.

You could have him fetch you a drink from the refrigerator, or watch the TV show you want to watch, maybe even kneel at your feet and massage them while you watch it. (Pick a long one!) Anything you want, he can be convinced to do. And with everything I have taught you so far, I am sure you can figure out a way to get your partner to do just about anything you want him to do, if you put your mind to it.

You may find that you don't even have to promise him a thing. Many men love being submissive to the right woman. He married you. That makes you the right woman. You put his genitals in a cage. That makes you the right woman. You control when, if, and how he has his next orgasm. That makes you the right woman. SO get it through your head... You are the right woman!

So don't be shy, ask him to do things for you and see how it goes. I'll bet he will be happy to do them. Now, are you still not controlling what he wears while waiting on you? Try having him wear a pair of panties, or maybe naked. Many men, especially submissive men, love to feel that they are being “forced” to do things. This is what they mean when they tell you to “mean” to them. So don't feel guilty about “making” him do something for you. Even if that something is being naked for an hour or two every evening.

In summation, remember that this is a game. How you play can make a difference. If you don't want to tie him to the bed and physically fondle his penis and testicles for an hour, it doesn't mean that you have to feel guilty about anything you ask him to do. He wants to play this game. The fact that he doesn't know what you might ask of him next is part of the game. It can make him feel aroused and happy when you pay him any attention at all. So do it.

~ ~ ~

Chapter 5 - Physical Teasing

“
You decide. Thirty smacks with my
riding crop for a ruined orgasm,
or six more months in chastity for
a full one. What's it gonna be?”

Physical teasing is the art of creating a tremendous amount of arousal in your partner to the point of orgasm without allowing the orgasm itself. That is, getting your guy as hot as you can for as long as he can stand it and still deny his orgasm. We call that “edging” because you want to bring your partner to the edge of orgasm and, yet, not allow him to complete it.

This is the part of tease and denial that many women feel is a “chore.” Please don't look at it that way. It is not a chore. It is the most fun you can have with your chaste male. I have broken this chapter into two basic parts; 1) Teasing with a chastity device in place, and 2) teasing him with his chastity device removed.

The important thing to remember is that he is not permitted to have an orgasm unless you want him to. Remember, also, no matter how much he begs you to let him cum, you should not allow it unless you have planned for it, or you think he deserves it. Just because it has been a long time since his last orgasm is NOT a good reason to give him one now. He wants you to make him go for long periods without an orgasm, so don't let him down.

I know one woman who would invariably break down, or give in, when her husband had gone for more than a week without an orgasm. He would begin to beg for one every time she would tease him and a week seemed like a long time to her. Eventually, her husband complained that he was getting too many orgasms. Imagine that. I have to agree with him. Once a week is too often. I advised the woman to make him go for at least a month before his next orgasm, but to continue teasing him two to four times a week as she had been doing. After she made him wait for six weeks, she admitted that he was much happier and more helpful around the house, than he had ever been before.

Frequent orgasms are not what he wants. He wants you to be “mean” to him. What he means by that is he wants you to deny his orgasm for a long time while still continuing to tease him relentlessly. You don't have to understand it, just realize that it is a fact. A fact that you must learn to live with. What makes teasing so much fun is that you eventually come to realize what tremendous power you hold. The power to make him squirm, to writhe, to beg you for what you know you are going to deny him. Get into it. Enjoy it. It is really what he wants.

It is hoped that getting aroused while wearing his chastity device will cause your partner a little pain. At least some discomfort. If it doesn't, you might want to look into one of two things to correct the situation. Some chastity devices can be fitted with some sort of device, we will call them “spikes” for lack of a better term. These spikes are designed to cause a certain amount of pain when the penis fills with blood (in an attempt to get hard). You often have a choice of sizes for the spikes.

If you have a device such as this, you should start out with the smallest (shortest) spikes available. If that causes him to feel pain, then stop there. If not, try a larger set of spikes. Find the ones that don't cause excruciating pain, but cause only a slight pain or a “pinching” sensation. Once you have found the right set of spikes, you should be able to tease him for a long time without him crying for relief.

Some cages fit snug enough that they alone will cause the right amount of pain and no spikes are necessary. If you purchase a custom cage somewhere, make sure that it fits snuggly enough that you don't need the spikes. If the cage is too large, get a smaller one.

Most of the teases we will cover in this chapter are best performed with your partner restrained in some way. You can use a little rope to bind him to the bed, a chair, a door, or to hooks in the ceiling. It doesn't really matter how or where he is bound, the important thing is that he not be able to move enough to prevent you from doing what you want to do to him. We will cover other types of unrestrained teasing in later chapters.

Teasing With his Cage On:

As I mentioned above, all the methods of teasing him while his chastity device is in place will also work with it removed. So we will cover those first. This is by no means a complete, or all encompassing, list. I am sure, if you put your imagination to work, you can come up with many more methods not mentioned here.

Oral Sex:
This is oral sex for you. That is, putting it crudely, he will be licking your private parts instead of you licking his. You can do this with or without restraints. He can get between your legs as you recline on the bed or in your favorite chair. The object is for you to receive pleasure. Why not? Isn't that what much of this should be about? There is nothing in the handbook that says you can't derive as much pleasure from his chastity as you want. I know, I wrote the handbook. So relax. This is the easy part.

Have him lick you dry after a shower, or bath. Have him give you a full body massage complete with “mouth to vaginal resuscitation,” as I like to call it. After all, just because he wants you to deny his orgasms, doesn't mean you have to deny yours as well. Have as many as you like. In fact, this is your chance to have more than you are used to.

Of course, oral sex includes things like, licking and sucking on his nipples, or licking his penis through the cage (if you so desire), and you can do it without causing an orgasm (hopefully). You can lick his toes, or have him lick and suck on yours. Nibbling is allowed, if you like that sort of thing. Even biting.

Fondling:
Yes, simple fondling of body parts is very erotic. You can run your hands, or fingers, or even your fingernails over any part of his body you like. Experiment with it. Find out which spots turn him on the most, which turn him off, and best of all, which are really, really ticklish. Some people enjoy being tickled while others absolutely hate it. You can discover which category your partner falls into and exploit it whenever the desire arises. Test different amounts of pressure. Dig your nails in and see what reaction you get. Run your fingertips over his nipples, or pinch them. How hard do you have to pinch before he really cries out in pain. Everyone's pain tolerance is different. Find his. Any pain within his level of tolerance can be erotic.

Pin-wheels and Other Pricks:
There is a device on the market that has been used for years by the medical profession called the Wartenberg Wheel. Some simply call it a pin-wheel. It is a wheel with a handle attached. The wheel itself has very sharp spines all around it. Rolling this across various parts of his body, using varying pressure, can also be very erotic. Don't use too much pressure. The spines are VERY sharp and can easily draw blood.

You can use toothpicks, kabob skewers, pins and even needles to poke and prick your partner's skin. I prefer the kabob skewers because they are not so sharp that they cause pain, but rather a tickling kind of stimulation. I like to use it to poke the fleshier parts of a man's body, as well as his genitals, in a random pattern. I don't use so much pressure as to cause pain, though you can if you like. I poke gently. Gentle pokes can be very erotic to a man who is restrained to a bed and blindfolded. If you have him doing chores while naked, carrying a kabob skewer around to keep him busy can be fun. Poke him on the bottom to make him speed up or pay closer attention to what he is doing. You should try it, it is a lot of fun.

Clips & Clamps:
I put clothespins on my list of things you should have. However, you can purchase many different types of clips as well as several styles of clamps. Clips are spring-loaded while clamps usually screw down in most cases. Some clamps have a slide that is used to tighten or loosen them. Basically, these can be used anywhere you can put them where they will stay in place. The advantage of clamps over clips is that you control the amount of pressure applied. Clips, on the other hand, are subject to the amount of tension applied by the spring. Some are fairly weak and can be left on for a good while, but you must be careful, they can cause damage to the tissue if left in place too long. I have seen a pair of alligator clips that have a screw to adjust the tension. These work quite well when properly adjusted.

Use clips and/or clamps on just about any place that has enough skin to get hold of. Nipples, though harder to use on men than women, are still a good place to put them. The scrotum is also an easy place to attach clips or clamps. What most people don't realize is that the bottom, the tushy, the butt, is also a great place to attach a few clips or clamps. You can put clips or clamps on the the inner thighs as well. The tongue, if you want your guy to stop talking so much, is a good place for them. Try the toes or the nose, too. Stay away from the eyes. Besides, it's very difficult to get a clip to stay on an eyeball! Too slippery!