A KeyHolder's Handbook (2 page)

What Device (if any)?

You might ask yourself if it is really necessary to use a chastity device. Okay, let's take a look at some of the reasons you might want to use a chastity device and even some reasons why you might not.

To start with, putting a chastity device on your man will give him a constant reminder that, not only that you are in charge of his orgasms, but that he cannot do anything about it. In most cases, this will serve as a turn-on for him. He will become aware of every twinge of any erection that he normally gets during the day, which might otherwise go unnoticed. Those twinges will remind him that you are in control. Again, that is a turn-on for most men.

Furthermore, he will get aroused more often simply because he is wearing a chastity device. It will serve as a reminder that he cannot even touch himself unless you remove the device. So by placing him in a chastity device, you have already begun the teasing process. Tease and denial is the means by which you will reach your ultimate goal of a greatly enhanced sexual relationship. A chastity device insures that your partner is not sneaking off to masturbate whenever he feels like it. It also means he won't be having any affairs behind your back. But beyond all that, it will serve as a constant reminder of who is in charge of his genitals.

The Honor System

You might choose not to use a chastity device at all. I call this the honor system. If you choose not to use a device of any kind, you will need to have complete faith that he will not cheat. However, because sometimes a chastity device can cause discomfort to the wearer, you may choose to go without one, at least for awhile. Some chastity devices can cause chaffing and/or irritation. If you don't have one that fits properly, there may even be some pinching or cutting of the skin in places, though this is more rare than common.

There is also the expense of a chastity device to be considered. If the inexpensive (off the shelf) types don't fit properly then you must invest in a more costly, custom made one.

If you decide to use a chastity device, there are a large number of them on the market. Some are more secure than others, but any of them will do unless you think your partner is likely to try to cheat the system. In that case you will want one of the more secure devices. One that will not permit him to 'pull out' of it. By that I mean, he will not be able to get his penis out of the cage no matter what he does. You can find such devices for sale on the Internet by simply doing a search on your favorite search engine.

Securing the Keys

Once you have placed your partner into whatever device you have, you will need to lock it with a small lock (usually provided with the device). There will be two or more keys supplied with the lock. One you should keep hidden securely where he will not be able to find it, or, as many women like to do, wear it around your neck with a chain long enough to allow it to dangle between your breasts. The other key(s) should be placed where your partner can get to it (them) in an emergency, but secured in a way that you will know if he uses one. If you have plastic numbered locks (often supplied with your chastity device or obtainable from many on-line stores), you can use one to lock the key to something secure. For example, one woman I know attached the key with a numbered plastic lock to one of the water lines under her bathroom sink. To use it, her husband would have to cut (or break) the plastic lock to free the key.

Another method of securing the emergency key is to put it in a small envelope with your name or initials across the seal. If it is tampered with, you will be able to tell. Another woman I know actually gave the emergency key to her husband with strict instructions as to when it could be used. Of course, she had a great deal of faith in her husband not to cheat. As I said, the emergency key should be accessible, but not without making it obvious that it has been used.

Of course, you could always use the numbered plastic locks I mentioned above. If you always record the number of the lock currently in use. That way you will certainly know if he has changed it. The advantage to this system of key management, is that no matter where he is, he knows that he can break the lock and remove his chastity cage if he needs to. In other words, he will not need to run home and get the key in an emergency.

If your partner has to make numerous trips through a metal detector, it would be best to invest in a few of the plastic numbered locks. They are very inexpensive and cannot be re-used if removed. Also, if your partner travels a great deal by air, he will need a plastic cage, such as the CB-6000, and plastic locks so he can pass through airport security without being strip-searched each time. Of course, there are times when that, in and of itself, would be fun. The humiliation would be intense. We will cover humiliation and why you may want to incorporate it into your tease and denial routine as we go along.

If your partner does not need a plastic chastity device, then I would recommend a custom made metal device. There are several companies who can provide you with one. They are quite a bit more expensive, often two to three times as much as the plastic versions, but well worth the expense if you plan to keep him chastity for more than a couple of weeks at a time.

Pro's & Con's

Now let's talk about some of the pro's and con's of using a chastity device. The biggest reason I get from people, both men and women, for using a device is to prevent unauthorized masturbation. Whether you know it or not, most men will masturbate when they feel the need, even if they are getting sex on a regular basis. There are many, many reasons for this, most of which boil down to “I wanted to do it,” or “I was horny.” Take your pick. Neither sounds like a valid reason to me.

Another reason to chose a chastity device over the honor system is that it will prevent any affairs he might contemplate. Granted, not all men are unfaithful, but fidelity is guaranteed when using a good metal cage. So if you even think your partner might have an affair, then I highly recommend using one.

So if you are only planning to make him wear it for a weekend or just a few days, then you will not need to keep a close eye on things. On the other hand, if you intend to leave it on for longer periods of time, it takes a watchful eye for the first few weeks to make sure the device is not causing any undue discomfort, such as  chaffing or irritation caused by something pinching him in the wrong place. You, not him, will have to make daily inspections for the first week, and two to three times a week thereafter. If he complains or you notice anything out of the ordinary, such as reddening around the scrotum or the base of his penis, remove the device for a few days to make sure it clears up. When you put it back on him, either make some changes or watch it carefully again for any sign that the irritation is returning.

To help prevent such irritations, I recommend using a petroleum jelly such as Vaseline(R) or equivalent to lubricate the inside surfaces of the cage. You can also use Baby Oil Gel(R), but be aware, it will eventually work its way into the skin and need to be reapplied during the day. A good silicone lubricant will also do the job very well. Silicone will not work into the skin, nor will it wear off during the day. It makes an excellent remedy for a chaffing chastity device. It can be washed off with a little soap and water.

Remember also, the chastity device itself can serve as a constant sexual reminder of the one who holds the key and will tend to keep him a little bit aroused during the day. So that alone is a good reason to use a chastity device.

One reason you might not want to use one of these penile cages, is that it can be a hassle removing it and especially replacing it, if you want to physically tease him often. However, I well give you a way to make that a little bit easier. Remember, temporary removal of the chastity device does not necessarily constitute his right to have an ejaculation. You will find that, in order to do the type of teasing you want, you may have to remove the device. But just because it is off does not mean he gets to have a nice orgasm, or any orgasm, for that matter.

~ ~ ~

Chapter 2 – Basic Orgasms

“
I'm so sorry. Did I ruin your orgasm?
Oh, well, maybe you'll have
better luck next month.”

Did you know that there are different types of orgasms that a man can have? Well, there are. The three basic types are: 1) Full; 2) Ruined; 3) Stifled . Each one has a different effect on a man and his ability to function sexually at that moment. Let me explain.

The Full Orgasm

Just what is a “Full Orgasm” anyway? Well, that depends on who you ask. For most men it is that series of all too rapidly diminishing, explosive blasts of semen that follows a few minutes of penile massage while fantasizing over some photo in a magazine, or watching an erotic video on the Internet, or during those private moments in the shower. If he is with a women, it is the same rapidly diminishing, explosive blasts of semen that fills her womb at the end of, what could have been, a wonderful sexual experience. His ejaculate (semen) is that white, gooey substance that signals the end of every sexual encounter he has probably ever had or ever will have.

The full (or normal) orgasm is the most common and may be the only type your partner has ever had. When he masturbates (and every man has at one time or another) he experiences a full orgasm, unless he gets interrupted for some reason. When he has intercourse, he has a full orgasm. His wet dreams end with a full orgasm. In other words, that is the normal manner in which most (if not all) of his sexual encounters end. And that is the key point here. His sexual capacity normally ends with this orgasm. On rare occasions, a young healthy male “might” be able to continue sexual activity and even have a second orgasm. But we are talking about the average male here, not some adolescent sexual athlete.

But whatever you think it is, it is NOT the preferred outcome of a tease and denial session with a chaste male. It is what he says he wants, but it is not what he really wants. It is what I described in the first paragraph of this chapter. But what, then, did I mean when I said, “ It is what he says he wants, but not what he really wants?” Men who really enjoy chastity (wearing a device that prevents sexual intercourse) and want to have their orgasms (ejaculations) controlled by another person, don't “really” want to have a full orgasm. They want to be denied that orgasm. That, after all, is the point of “tease and denial,” isn't it? But we will get into that later.

Every woman who has ever had sex with a man knows that when he ejaculates, he is pretty much done. If she has not been totally satisfied before that happens, she can forget getting what she wants for awhile. Probably the rest of the day (or night). So how do we make both of these people happy? Simple! Deny him an orgasm, at least until she has been totally satisfied.

Let's recap. She wants her own orgasm to feel satisfied. He doesn't want to have an orgasm (in the traditional sense) even though he will beg for it. If you are trying to understand the mentality here, don't! Just accept the fact that in the game of male chastity, it is his job to do anything and everything in his power to convince his KeyHolder to grant him a full orgasm. Thus, he wins the game, or this round, anyway. It is the KeyHolder's job to deny him that orgasm for as long as she possibly can while, at the same time, getting every bit of sexual satisfaction she wants for herself. It sounds more difficult than it really is.

Now let's look at the typical male orgasm and what it does to him. It causes his body to release certain hormones and endorphins that control things such as sexual arousal and the blood flow to the penis (which is what keeps it hard). That is an over-simplification of what happens but the end result is the same. He loses all interest in sexual activity. He may even become grumpy and out of sorts for up to a week (or even longer), and he will (most likely) not even be able to produce an erection without proper rest.

Whoa there. What was that about being grumpy and out of sorts? Right. He may very well be more difficult to live with once his sexual appetite has been satisfied. If that isn't enough incentive for you to deny him a full orgasm, I don't what is.

So, if he is going to be hard to live with simply because you granted him and orgasm, what can you do instead? Well, of course, the obvious answer is to deny him that orgasm. But what else is there? I am so glad you asked that question. Let's see what happens if you stop just in time to prevent him from ejaculating. There is another way to play that can prevent all this lack of sexual arousal and grumpy behavior.

The Ruined Orgasm

So what is a “ruined” orgasm, anyway? Put simply, it as an orgasm without all the negative after effects of a full orgasm. In other words, no diminished sexual drive, no inability to maintain an erection, and no grumpy behavior for the the next week or so. However, he will not enjoy it nearly as much (if at all) as he would a full orgasm. Oh well, he will get over it.

The best way to ruin his orgasm is simply by stopping ALL stimulation of his sexual organs. That is, stop touching his genitals in any way. If you do it in time, you may see him struggle to have that nice full ejaculation he has been trying so desperately to achieve, only to have his semen come flowing gently out of his penis instead of shooting half way across the room as it normally does. That would be a ruined orgasm. The best part about a ruined orgasm, besides the disappointed look on his face, is the fact that none of the normal post orgasmic conditions occur. That is, he will not lose interest in sexual activity. He will not become grumpy and out of sorts for the next few days to a week. And he will still be able to maintain his erection for as long as you would like him to. Win, win, win!