HANNAH: We never had him to begin with!
JOANNE: So where is he?
ROBERT: Guam, I’m telling—!
POPO
(To Robert)
: Guam, Guam! Shut mouth or go there yourself!
HANNAH
(A general announcement)
: We don’t know where he is!
JOANNE: Should I call the police?
WILBUR: You might have looked longer at the airport.
HANNAH: That’s what I said, but
(Referring to Robert)
he said, “Aaah, too much trouble!”
POPO
(To Robert)
: See? You do not care about people from other provinces besides Shanghai.
ROBERT
(To Popo)
: Mom, I care. It’s just that—
POPO
(To Robert)
: Your father trade with Japanese during war.
WILBUR: Huh?
ROBERT: Mom, let’s not start that.
POPO: Not like our family. We die first!
WILBUR: What’s all this about?
ROBERT: Hey, let’s not bring up all this other junk, right?
POPO
(To Robert)
: You are ashamed.
ROBERT: The airport is a big place.
WILBUR
(To Robert)
: Still, you should’ve been able to spot an old Chinese man.
ROBERT: Everyone on that plane was an old Chinese man!
AMA: True. All Communist look alike.
HANNAH: Hold it, everybody!
(Pause)
Listen, Di-gou has this address, right?
AMA: No.
HANNAH: No?
(To Popo)
Mom, you said he did.
POPO: Yes. He does.
AMA
(To Popo)
: Yes? But I did not write to him.
POPO: I did.
AMA: Now, Communist—they will know this address.
POPO: Never mind.
AMA: No safety. Bomb us.
HANNAH: Okay, he has this address, and he can speak English—after all, he went to medical school here, right? So he shouldn’t have any problem.
JOANNE: What an introduction to America.
HANNAH: All we can do is wait.
ROBERT: We went up to all these old Chinese men at the airport, asked them, “Are you our Di-gou?” They all said yes. What could we do? They all looked drunk, bums.
JOANNE: Maybe they’re all still wandering through the metal detectors, looking for their families, and will continue ’til they die.
(Chester wanders onto the tennis court, observes the following section from far upstage
.
)
I must have been only about seven the last time Di-gou visited us in the Philippines.
AMA: Less.
JOANNE: Maybe less.
WILBUR: Honey, I’m sure everyone here has a memory, too. You don’t see them babbling about it, do you?
JOANNE: The last thing I remember about Di-gou, he was trying to convince you grown-ups to leave the Philippines and return to China. There was a terrible fight—one of the worst that ever took place in our complex. I guess he wanted you to join the Revolution. The fight was so loud that all our servants gathered around the windows to watch.
AMA: They did this?
POPO: Shoot them.
JOANNE: I guess this was just around 1949. Finally, Di-gou left, calling you all sorts of terrible names. On his way out, he set fire to one of our warehouses. All us kids sat around while the servants tried to put it out.
POPO: No. That was not a warehouse.
HANNAH: Yeah, Joanne—the warehouses were concrete, remember?
JOANNE
(To Hannah)
: But don’t you remember a fire?
HANNAH: Yes.
POPO: I think he burn a pile of trash.
ROBERT
(To Wilbur)
: I know how you feel. They’re always yap-yap-yapping about their family stories—you’d think they were the only family in China.
(To Hannah)
I have memories, too.
HANNAH: You don’t remember anything. You have a terrible memory.
ROBERT: Look, when I was kidnapped, I didn’t know—
HANNAH: Sssssh!
JOANNE: Quiet, Robert!
POPO: Like broken record, ghang, ghang, ghang.
WILBUR
(To Robert)
: I tell you what: you wanna take a look at my collection of tax shelters?
ROBERT: Same old stuff?
WILBUR: No. Some new ones.
(Robert and Wilbur exit. Di-gou appears on the tennis court; only Chester sees him, but Chester says nothing. Chester watches Di-gou watching the women.)
JOANNE: Anyway, he set fire to something and the flames burned long into the night. One servant was even killed in it, if I remember correctly. I think Matthew’s nursemaid was trying to put it out when her dress caught fire and, like a fool, she ran screaming all over the complex. All the adults were too busy to hear her, I guess, and all the kids just sat there and watched this second fire, moving in circles and screaming. By morning, both fires were out, and our tutors came as usual. But that day, nothing functioned just right—I think the water pipes broke in Sah-Zip’s room, the cars wouldn’t start—something—all I remember is servants running around all day with one tool or another. And that was how Di-gou left Manila for the last time. Left Manila and returned to China—in two fires—one which moved—and a great rush of handymen.
(Di-gou has made his way to sitting in their midst in the sunroom. He puts down his suitcase. They all turn and see him. He sticks his thumb out, as if for hitchhiking, but his thumb is pointed down instead of up.)
DI-GOU: “Going my way?”
AMA: Di-gou!
DI-GOU: “Hey, baby, got a lift?”
POPO: You see? Our family members will always return.
JOANNE
(To Di-gou)
: Are you—? Oh, you’re—? Well, nice—how did you get here?
DI-GOU
(Pulls a book out of his jacket)
: Our diplomacy handbook. Very useful.
POPO: Welcome to America!
DI-GOU
(Referring to the handbook)
: It says, “When transportation is needed, put your thumb as if to plug a hole.”
(Ama stands on the chair again.)
AMA: Di-gou, thirty year have passed—
DI-GOU
(Still reading)
: “And say, ‘Going my way?’”
AMA: Do you still believe in God?
DI-GOU: “Or, ‘Hey, baby, got a lift?’”
AMA: Do you?
HANNAH
(To Ama)
: Auntie, he’s explaining something.
DI-GOU: It worked! I am here!
AMA
(Getting down off chair)
: Still as stubborn as before.
DI-GOU: Hello, my sisters.
POPO: Hello, Di-gou. This is my daughter, Hannah.
HANNAH
(To Di-gou)
: Were you at the airport? We were waiting for you.
DI-GOU: Hannah. Oh, last time, you were just a baby.
AMA
(Introducing Joanne)
: And Joanne, remember?
JOANNE: Hello, Di-gou. How was your flight?
DI-GOU: Wonderful, wonderful.
POPO: Where is Chester? Chester!
(Chester enters the lanai.)
Him—this is number-one grandson.
DI-GOU: Oh, you are Chester. You are the violinist, yes?
CHESTER: You’re Di-gou?
DI-GOU: Your parents are so proud of you.
HANNAH: We are not. He’s just a kid who needs to pack.
AMA: Where is Jenny? Jenny!
HANNAH
(To Di-gou)
: We figured you’d be able to get here by yourself.
DI-GOU: Oh, yes.
(Di-gou sticks out his thumb. Jenny enters.)
JOANNE: Jenny! Say, “Hi, Di-gou.”
JENNY: Hi, Di-gou.
DI-GOU
(To Joanne)
: This is your daughter?
JOANNE: Yes. Jenny.
(Pause)
Jenny, say, “Hi, Di-gou.”
JENNY: Mom, I just did!
JOANNE: Oh. Right.
JENNY: Will you cool out?
DI-GOU: Jenny, the last time I saw your mother, she was younger than you are now.
JENNY: He’s kinda cute.
JOANNE: Jenny, your granduncle is not cute.
DI-GOU: Thank you.
JENNY
(To Joanne)
: Can I go now?
AMA: Why you always want to go?
JENNY: Sorry, Ama. Busy.
JOANNE
(Allowing Jenny to leave)
: All right.
DI-GOU
(To Jenny)
: What are you doing?
JENNY: Huh? Reading.
DI-GOU: Oh. Schoolwork.
JENNY: Nah.
Vogue. (Exits)
JOANNE: I’ve got to see about dinner.
(To Hannah)
Can you give me a hand? I want to use my new Cuisinart.
HANNAH: All right. What do you want to make?
JOANNE: I don’t know. What does a Cuisinart do?
(Hannah and Joanne exit; Di-gou, Ama, Popo and Chester are left in the sunroom.)
AMA: Di-gou, thirty year have pass. Do you still love God?
DI-GOU: Thirty-three.
AMA: Ah?
POPO: 1949 to 1982. Thirty-three. He is correct.
AMA: Oh. But you do still love God? Like before?
DI-GOU: You know, sisters, after you left China, I learned that I never did believe in God.
AMA: What!
POPO: How can you say this?
CHESTER: Ama, Popo, don’t start in on that—he just got here.
POPO: You defend him?
AMA
(To Chester and Di-gou while chasing Chester out to tennis court)
: You both are influence by bad people.
POPO: Spend time with bums! Communist bum, musician bum, both same.
DI-GOU: Just to hear my sisters after all these years—you may speak whatever you like.
AMA: Do you still love God?
DI-GOU: I have much love.
AMA: For God?
DI-GOU: For my sisters.
POPO: You are being very difficult.
AMA: You remember when you first become Christian?
POPO: You travel with See-goh-poh on her first evangelism tour? Before we move to Philipines and you stay in China? Remember? You speak tongues of fire.
DI-GOU: I was only eight years old. That evening is a blur to me.
AMA: Tonight—we have family devotions. You can speak again. Miracles. You still believe in miracles?
DI-GOU: It is a miracle that I am here again with you!
POPO: Why you always change subject? You remember Ah Hong? Your servant? How See-goh-poh cast out his opium demon?
DI-GOU: I don’t think that happened.
AMA: Yes! Remember? After evangelism tour—she cast out his demon.
POPO: Ah Hong tell stories how he eats opium, then he can see everything so clear, like—uh—glass. He can see even through wall, he say, and can see—ah—all the way through floor. Yes! He say he can see through ground, all the way to hell. And he talk with Satan and demon who pretend to be Ah Hong’s dead uncles. You should remember.
DI-GOU: I vaguely recall some such stories.
(Di-gou opens up his suitcase during Popo’s following speech and takes out two small Chinese toys and a small Chinese flag. He shows them to Popo, but she tries to ignore them
.
)
POPO: Demon pretend to be ghost, then show himself everyplace to Ah Hong—in kitchen, in well, in barn, in street of village. Always just sit there, never talk, never move, just sit. So See-goh-poh come, call on God, say only, “Demon begone.”