‘It’s not like that.’
He studied them, undecided. Jackson placed both hands on Freya’s shoulders.
‘We are a couple,’ he said. ‘We belong together.’
The policeman spoke to Freya. ‘You do not wish to be rescued from this man?’
‘No, he isn’t dangerous,’ she said. ‘But I thank you for your concern.’
He nodded and backed away. They watched until he was out of sight. Then Jackson blew out his lips in relief.
‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘That could have ended badly.’
‘Oh, heavens! I’m so sorry.’
‘No need for you to be sorry. Let’s just get away from here.’
He hailed a horse carriage that was passing by. It stopped and he helped her aboard, calling to the driver, ‘Just take us to the river.’
He got in beside her and they moved off.
‘Are you all right?’ he said after a while.
‘Yes, it’s just—oh, goodness! If only—’
‘Don’t try to talk just now. Let’s just ride quietly.’ He touched her arm. ‘You’re shaking,’ he said.
‘I know. Everything happening suddenly like that—it took me by surprise. I guess I didn’t cope very well.’
‘Come here.’ He put both arms around her, drawing her close so that she rested her head on his shoulder.
At last there was peace, she thought, feeling the strength and comfort he had to offer.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said again. ‘I never meant to get you into trouble.’
‘Don’t worry. You rescued me in time.’
‘You rescued me, you mean. Do we have to go back just yet? I can’t face the way they’ll all look at me. I’ll bet they’re laughing fit to bust.’
‘Let them laugh. What do we care? We’ll stay out awhile and give them time go to bed first.’
They had reached the river now, and sat quietly watching the water glide past.
‘I blame myself,’ he said. ‘I shouldn’t have let Tommy get near you. Especially when—well, when you have other interests in your life now.’
He was referring to the hint she’d dropped earlier about having an important reason to get home. She’d refused to say more but he had no doubt of her meaning. Another man had come into her life. She wasn’t ready to confide in him, but perhaps he could hope to urge her a little.
When she didn’t reply he sighed and continued, ‘If Tommy gives you any more trouble just tell me and I’ll deal with him. Promise.’
‘I don’t think he’ll trouble me again. You really scared him.’
Yes, he thought. He’d scared Tommy because he’d meant to. He’d been driven by rage at the sight of Freya’s distress. Nor had the sight of her being handled by another man improved his temper.
For a while they gazed at the river, until Jackson said, ‘Let’s have a stroll.’
Leaving the carriage, they walked along the bank until they came to a little café with tables in the open.
‘Let’s have a coffee,’ he said. ‘To tell the truth, you’re not the only one who needs time before we go back. Tonight something really weird happened.’
She waited until they were seated comfortably before saying, ‘What happened?’
‘When I was chasing after you through those confusing streets it was as though time had slipped back.’ He stopped, embarrassed. ‘No, you don’t want to hear about that.’
‘Yes, I do. Where did time slip back to?’
‘Your wedding day. When Dan jumped out of the car and ran. I went after him but he vanished into side turnings until I couldn’t see him any more. And then tonight—’
‘I did the same,’ she said with a little smile to show there were no hard feelings.
‘It was eerie—like being part of a ghost story.’
She patted his hand. ‘It’s not like you to be afraid of ghosts.’
‘I wasn’t before. I think I am now. You can be like a ghost yourself.’
‘You don’t mean you’re afraid of me?’
‘Not exactly. But sometimes I think I could be. It depends on you.’
The arrival of a waiter made them fall silent. While he poured the drinks Freya mused over his words, wondering if she had the courage to pursue them further. Sadly, she realised that she didn’t. Not yet, anyway.
When the waiter had departed she said lightly, ‘Not all ghosts are evil. Sometimes they’re friendly—like the one who’s just appeared in my life.’
There it was again he thought, the glancing reference to another man. And suddenly he couldn’t bear to be shut out of her confidence a moment longer.
‘Is it anyone I know?’ he asked.
‘Oh, yes, it’s someone you know, and when I tell you the name you won’t believe me.’
Out of sight, he drove his nails into his palm.
‘Tell me,’ he said.
‘Tell me who it is.’
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘A
LL
RIGHT
,
ALL
RIGHT
,’ Freya said in a soothing voice. ‘No need to get agitated.’
She didn’t know it but there was every need. Agitation was growing in him with alarming speed. He hated her having another man, but most of all he hated his own reaction.
‘Just tell me who it is,’ he said.
‘And stop giving me orders.’
‘I’m not giving you orders. I’m pleading with you. Don’t you recognise the difference?’
‘
Is
there a difference? When a man says
please
isn’t it mostly an act, to hide the fact that he’s not giving you a choice?’
‘Is that experience talking?’
‘Yes, it is. Dan used to do it—and Amos too. I hear him talking to my mother. When he says, “Please, my dear...” there’s always a slightly ironic note that means he’s really saying,
stop wasting time
arguing
.’
‘And of course you’ve decided that I’m tarred with the same brush as my father?’
‘Well—’
‘Come on, we’ve discussed this before, so let’s have the truth. In your eyes I’m as big a bully as he is—just a bit more cunning in how I go about it.’
‘Look, I’m sorry, I—’
‘Too late to be sorry. My Amos side has taken over. Tell me what I want to know or I’ll do something violent.’
‘Oh, yeah? Such as what?’
‘Such as this,’ he said, and stamped his foot hard on the ground.
‘Ouch!’
‘Is that the best you can manage?’
‘I’m afraid so,’ he said, pulling off his shoe and rubbing his foot.
‘Have you hurt yourself?’
‘Yes—my ankle and further up. Ouch!
Ouch!
’
‘I’m not surprised. You slammed it down so hard that the shock must have gone right up your leg. Here, let the nurse do her job.’
She took over, removing his sock and rubbing the foot while he breathed hard.
‘That’s better,’ he said with relief. ‘But could you go a bit harder on my ankle? Yes, like that.
Ahh!
’
When she’d done his ankle she moved further up his leg, massaging the calf muscle until its tension relaxed.
‘Thanks,’ he said at last. ‘I think I’ll survive now.’ He pulled on his sock and shoe, saying wryly, ‘Perhaps I’d better give violence a miss in future.’
‘Yes, you’re not very good at it, are you? I guess it just doesn’t come naturally to you.’
‘Oh, I don’t know. In the years we’ve known each other I can remember a dozen times when I’ve wanted to thump you.’
‘But you never did. Admirable self-control.’
‘Self-control, nothing. I was just scared of how hard you’d thump me back.’
‘You do me an injustice. I’m a nurse.’
‘But a nurse would know exactly where to thump to reduce me to a shivering wreck.’
‘Don’t tempt me.’
‘Yes, ma’am. No, ma’am. Whatever you say, ma’am,’ he said, saluting vigorously. ‘Why are you laughing?’
‘I was thinking suppose that policeman came upon us again just now.’
‘The one who thought I was attacking you?’
‘Yes. Imagine how confused he’d be.’
He joined in her laughter before saying, ‘I’d have to explain to him that Freya the goddess has all sorts of secret knowledge and skills that she keeps to herself, and that the rest of us had better be very careful. Including him.’
Freya regarded him fondly, relieved and happy that their old, jokey relationship was coming back.
‘So, do you still want me to tell you the name of the ghost whose appearance has transformed my life?’ she asked.
‘I’d kind of like to know.’
‘You’ll never believe it.’
A sudden dread struck him. ‘Oh, no! Tell me it isn’t Dan. Freya, you couldn’t—’
‘No, of course I couldn’t. It’s not Dan. It’s Cassie.’
He stared, astonished into silence. ‘What—what did you say?’
‘I said Cassie.’ Freya regarded him with her head on one side, enjoying his look of stunned bafflement.
‘Cassie? You mean Marcel’s wife? I don’t understand. How can—?’
‘Before I left London Cassie called to tell me something that will make a world of difference to me. Did you know that Amos was so set on me marrying one of you that he actually gave me a large sum of money?’
‘I heard a rumour, but I wasn’t sure. I suppose he was hoping that one of us would marry you to get our hands on it. How did he think that would make you feel?’
‘Does he worry about how people feel as long as they do what he wants?’ she asked ironically. ‘The odd thing is that he’s not an unkind man. He does care about people’s feelings—in his own way. But his way is to assume that they’ll only be happy if they do what he plans for them.’
‘Yes, I know. He’s always been like that. So now you’ll be a prosperous woman in your own right. You should go out and live the high life on the money. That would teach him.’
‘Yes, I could do that now—because I’m beginning to get it back.’
‘Get it back? What happened to it?’
‘Marcel was having money problems at the time, and Amos thought it might make him turn to me. Instead I loaned it to Cassie, so that she could buy into Marcel’s property in Paris and then confront him on equal terms. It helped clear the air between them and they ended up married. Amos was livid.’
Jackson gave a crack of laughter. ‘He gave you that money so that you would marry Marcel and you actually used it to help Marcel marry Cassie? I’ve heard of courage, but that beats all. Dad must be pretty annoyed with you, and yet he still wants you in the family.’
‘I think he puts it down to a woman’s foolishness. He reckons that if I’m his daughter-in-law he can instruct me in better ways.’ She chuckled. ‘Or perhaps he thinks if he can make me your wife that’ll be a way of punishing me. He’s probably thinking,
Then she’ll find out what a monster Jackson really is. That’ll teach her
.’
‘Then he’s miscalculated,’ Jackson said cheerfully. ‘You already know what a monster I am.’
‘I’ll bet there’s a lot still to find out.’
‘I’ll leave you guessing about that.’
‘Anyway, are you saying you didn’t know about me lending the money to Cassie? Amos never told anyone?’
‘Tell people that you made a fool of him? Can you imagine him doing that?’
‘No, you’re right. But there’s more. It was a good investment. The hotel’s doing well and Cassie has now started repaying me with interest.’
He stared. ‘So she’s the ghost?’ he whispered, scarcely able to speak.
‘Yes, I hadn’t expected to get anything back so soon, but some of the money has gone into my bank already and there’s more on the way. I’m going to be a rich woman.’
He pulled himself together.
‘Aha! So now you’re letting me know that if I need a rich wife you’re available?’
‘Letting you know that I don’t need a husband, and that one word out of place will make me take terrible revenge.’
He grinned. ‘Nice to get that clear. Except that I already knew.’
‘Well, we’ve always agreed that we drive each other mad.’
‘And as long as it’s mutual what does it matter? Have another drink.’
He spoke lightly to hide the storm inside. So she
hadn’t
found another man. Just a simple misunderstanding, but it had disturbed him to an extent he didn’t want to think about. The implications were too troublesome.
He drained his glass, trying to summon up the courage to say what was on his mind. At last he managed it. ‘As you said, not all ghosts are evil. But some of them are. One that still haunts me, and always will, is knowing that I did you harm.’
‘Jackson, stop it. We talked about this the other morning in the hotel garden. I told you that there was nothing to forgive and we agreed to put it behind us as though it had never happened.’
‘But it did happen. Nothing can make it
un
happen. The effect will be with you all your life. And now I’m going to say something that will make you hate me again. I’m
glad
you didn’t marry Dan. I’m not glad of the way it happened, but it’s best that you didn’t marry him. You wouldn’t have been happy. There—now you can call me all the names you like.’
As he spoke he gave her a quizzical look.
‘I think I may pass that chance up,’ she said. ‘I know it wasn’t your fault that Dan backed off. He was just looking for an excuse and he seized it. That wasn’t what I minded most—’
‘I know. It was me not telling you everything about how it happened and why he proposed in the first place. But I swear to you, Freya, I was only thinking of you. You were so hurt I couldn’t bear to hurt you even more. I never thought of you finding out some other way. You thought I was laughing up my sleeve at you, but I wasn’t.’
‘I know. I feel I know you better now, and you wouldn’t do that. I shouldn’t have flown at you, but suddenly everything seemed to get on top of me.’
Her voice faded and against her will she closed her eyes.
‘Freya,’ he said anxiously. ‘You’re not coping well, are you? Even all these weeks later you haven’t really begun to get over it.’
‘Of course I have,’ she said with a bright air that didn’t fool him. ‘I’m managing just fine. It’s like it never happened. Dan isn’t worth bothering about.’
She was lying, he thought, and not just to him but, more seriously, to herself. Dan had hurt her more than she could bear, and she denied it as the only way of coping.
He thought of their meeting in the garden, when she had seemed the strong one, offering him comfort. Now he realised that he’d believed too easily. She seemed in control but she was struggling for that strength and the fight was exhausting her.
Bitterly, he blamed himself again. Would she ever be free of that pain? Would he ever be free of his guilt?
‘It’s not just Dan,’ he said. ‘It’s what I did too. You’re still hurting inside but you won’t admit it. You think you can hide it from the world. Well, maybe you can with others, but not from me.’
He waited for her to insist that she was all right, as she so often did, but this time her shoulders sagged.
‘Tell me,’ he said.
‘Oh, it’s just—’ She sighed. ‘That idiot Tommy. I wish he hadn’t managed to kiss me—even that brief little kiss. Oh, yes,
you
kissed me once, soon after it happened—’
‘And I got it wrong again,’ he remembered. ‘You thought I was taking advantage.’
‘I was off my head. You were being kind. I didn’t mean what I said.’
‘Don’t brood about Tommy, Freya. He doesn’t count. I don’t count. One day you’ll meet a guy who knocks you for six. You’ll want him, he’ll want you, and you’ll be so happy you’ll forget Dan ever existed.’
‘Oh, no! That’s not what I’m planning.’
‘Does life happen the way we plan?’
‘It does if you’ve got money. I told you—I’m a prosperous woman now. I’m going to become a business tycoon, investing Amos’s money where it’ll make the most profit. And I won’t care about anything else.’
He had a shocking vision of the cold, unfeeling creature she seemed to want to become.
‘Stop it, Freya. That’s not you talking’
‘Really? Then who is it?’
‘Someone else that you think you are—that maybe you want to be. But it won’t make you happy. You’d need to be heartless, and you’re not.’
‘You don’t know what I’m like. Even I don’t know what I’m really like. But I’m going to enjoy finding out. Maybe I’ll get Amos to give me some investment advice. He’s always wanted me to be his daughter. I’ll never be his daughter by marriage, but I can please him another way.’
‘By being his daughter of the heart, you mean?’ Jackson asked wryly.
‘His daughter of the brain. That’s the bit that counts. Neither he nor I has much of a heart.’
‘Stop it!’ he said fiercely. ‘Don’t talk like that. Don’t even
think
like that. Don’t you realise it’ll never make you happy?’
‘And what
will
make me happy? Another man? I don’t think so. It’s best to go my own way, keep my fate in my own hands. From now on my life is going to be governed by
my
decisions.’
‘If that worked out it would make you stronger than the rest of us. Nobody’s life is governed solely by their own decisions, Freya. Don’t you know that by now?’
‘I should do, shouldn’t I? But at least I’ll have some kind of control.’
‘I imagine Dad thought that, when he gave you money so that you’d marry Marcel. But he was fooling himself—as you showed him.’
‘Yes, I did, didn’t I? My first success as a businesswoman. The world should beware.’
‘Perhaps you’re the one who should beware,’ he said gently. ‘Now, I think we should go. You need some rest.’
He drew her to her feet, supporting her, and they strolled slowly back along the river, his arm about her shoulders. He felt passionate relief that the atmosphere between them had eased and she seemed willing for them to be close again. But he saw more trouble on the horizon.
Freya was vulnerable, and all the more so because she seemed unable to understand just how vulnerable she was. But he saw it clearly, and his old protective instinct rose up again. It was about to make him do something that he knew was a risk, but he was going to do it anyway. For her sake.
Soon the hotel was in sight. He stopped and drew her into the shadows.
‘Look at me,’ he said.
She raised her head so that her face was illuminated by the moon. He thought he’d never seen anything lovelier.
‘Freya, I’m your friend. You do believe that, don’t you?’
‘Yes, I believe it now.’
‘Then take this as an act of friendship,’ he whispered, brushing his lips against hers.
He felt her tense and drew back an inch.
‘This is to make you forget about that kiss from Tommy,’ he said. ‘Only that. Do you understand?’
‘Yes,’ she murmured. ‘Yes—’
He laid his lips on hers again, lightly, touching her just enough for her to feel him while keeping his inner self far back in the shadows. He didn’t seek a response from her, either from her flesh or her emotions. He had no wish to intrude on her heart. He meant only to drive away the memory of the man who’d troubled her tonight.