‘Very strange. Amos wants Jackson to tell him more about this falcon god, but Jackson says he hasn’t time to talk. He’s given him a list of websites, so Amos is glued to the computer. If I go into the room he finds an excuse to make me leave.’
‘I guess he thinks he really is a god,’ Freya said wryly.
‘I’m afraid you may be right.’
‘The best of luck in dealing with him. Bye.’
She ate alone in her room, then had an early night. Sleep came easily, but even there the questions clamoured. The bitter pain of discovering that Jackson wasn’t the man she’d thought. The feeling that suddenly nothing in the world was safe, or would ever be safe again. Nothing would drive these away.
He was there in her dreams, regarding her with harsh, angry eyes, uttering cruel words.
Cold-hearted.
Ill-natured
. He had actually called her those terrible names.
She gave a cry and awoke suddenly to find that tears were streaming down her face.
* * *
The next day she registered with the nursing agency, which immediately found her an assignment in London. She told herself that this was the start of a new life that would soon help her to forget the old one.
She often talked on the phone with Janine, who soon had startling news.
‘You’ll never guess what Amos has organised now,’ she said. ‘He’s going to Egypt with Jackson.’
‘Whatever for?’
‘To play at being the falcon god, I suppose. He’s even managed to get the production company on his side. They love Jackson being a Falcon, and now they’ve got two of them. So we can’t stop him. Amos will be coming to London so that he can take the same flight as Jackson. I’ll be coming too, to see him off.’
‘Why don’t you go to Egypt with him?’
‘I would if I thought he wanted me. But things are very strange between us now. Sometimes I look up and catch him giving me an odd look.’
‘What kind of odd look?’
‘I can’t describe it, but it’s one I’ve never seen before. As though he wants to say something but isn’t sure. I almost think he might be going to Egypt to escape from me.’
‘That I don’t believe. Not Amos.’
‘But he’s not the same Amos. He’s a different Amos, and I don’t know who. Now, darling, can we arrange to meet when we come to London?’
‘Easily. My job’s just finishing and I was about to ask for the next assignment.’
‘Take a few days off and join us in the hotel so that we can have a little time together.’
Janine and Amos arrived two days later, and as soon as she met them she knew what her mother meant about Amos. It was as though a quietness had descended on him, making him totally unlike his usual self.
That night there were only the three of them at dinner. Jackson had called to say that there were last-minute affairs he must see to before he could leave the next day. Once again Freya felt herself dividing into two selves. One of them was disappointed not to see him; the other gave a sigh of relief.
She wondered if he too was relieved he could keep their meeting short, because next morning it was late when he joined them at the airport.
‘Sorry,’ he said, embracing Janine. ‘Lost my passport at the last minute. All right now, though. Nice to see you, Freya. Right, Dad, are you ready to go? Good, then we’ll be off. Goodbye, ladies.’
Janine opened her arms to her husband. He came into them, but only for a moment, and again Freya saw the sense of unease that he seemed to carry with him these days.
She was suddenly swamped by an irrational urge to hug Jackson. Despite the hostility that still burned between them it seemed unbearable to part as enemies. Disasters could happen. She might never see him again. Summoning all her courage, she took his arm and said, ‘Don’t I get a hug?’
His smile had a touch of wryness. ‘Are you sure you want me to hug you?’
‘I’ll kick your shins if you don’t,’ she teased, trying to reintroduce some humour into their relationship.
‘That’s my girl,’ he said, opening his arms. His hug was brief, but fierce. ‘Goodbye,’ he said huskily.
‘Goodbye. Jackson—’
‘Gotta be going. Goodbye.’
Then it was over. The two men were walking away, and the two women watched their retreating figures with hearts that ached. At the entrance the men turned and waved one last time. Next moment they were gone.
* * *
Now Freya could really concentrate on putting her life back together. Dan was gone. Jackson was gone. She was free to make a new future.
She accepted another nursing assignment and when it was finished went out to Monte Carlo. In their phone calls something in her mother’s manner had spoken of loneliness.
‘Thank you for coming, darling,’ she said fervently when Freya arrived. ‘You can hold my hand and I can hold yours.’
Freya hugged her, but said, ‘I don’t need anyone to hold my hand. I’m managing just fine.’
Janine gave her a worried look, but was too wise to say anything.
‘How are they doing in Egypt?’ Freya asked over supper.
‘Really well, apparently. Until now they’ve been in Giza, with the Great Pyramids and the Sphinx. But soon they’re going to Edfu, where there’s the temple of Horus. Amos is revelling in being a god.’
‘Now,
there’s
a surprise.’
The two women laughed.
‘Jackson calls me sometimes, which I appreciate. It’s kind of him to keep me in the picture.’
‘Doesn’t Amos keep you in the picture?’
‘We talk, but I always feel that he’s saying what he wants me to believe rather than telling me how things are.’
‘And what he wants you to believe is that the world revolves around him—which, after all, is what he’s used to.’
Janine gave a little sigh. ‘Well, as long as it keeps him happy.’
‘What about him keeping you happy? This is the twenty-first century. Men are supposed to worry about us as much as we worry about them.’
‘I don’t think many of them know that yet. Jackson’s kind and caring, but he’s still an exception.’
‘Yes, well let’s not talk about that.’
‘You’re still upset with him? When I saw you hug him at the airport—’
‘That was just a sentimental moment,’ Freya said hastily. ‘It came and it went. I’ve accepted reality.’
She spoke with a bright air that warned her mother to pursue it no further. Janine had hoped to find a softening in her daughter’s attitude, but there was little to ease her mind.
‘Freya, darling, can’t you—? Oh, dear, there’s somebody at the door.’
She rose and went out into the hall.
Left alone, Freya went to the window to look out at the glorious bay, where the sun was beginning to set. It was eight o’clock here, which meant that in Egypt it would be nine. What was it like as night fell on that mystical land? Was it as beautiful as daybreak?
She remembered Jackson saying, ‘I’ll never forget standing there as dawn broke, seeing the pyramid slowly emerge from the darkness.’
It was almost eerie the way he still haunted her, cropping up at odd moments, forcing her to armour her mind against him.
The shrill of the telephone interrupted her thoughts.
‘Can you answer that for me?’ Janine called from the hall.
‘All right.’ She lifted the receiver. ‘Hello?’
‘Janine, thank goodness you’re there,’ said Jackson’s voice.
‘I—no. I’m—’
‘I was afraid you might be out and I must talk to you urgently. I’m going to need your help, and I’ll need Freya’s help even more. It’s Amos. He’s started having breathless attacks and dizzy spells, but he won’t admit there’s anything wrong. I’ve told him he should go home, but he won’t hear of it. He won’t go to a doctor here either, so the only hope is for Freya to come to Egypt. He’ll tolerate her keeping a daughterly eye on him.’
‘Jackson—’
‘And if Freya doesn’t want to see me, tell her not to worry. I’ll keep as clear of her as she pleases, just as long as she looks after Dad. That’s all I’ll ask of her. My word on it.’
Freya’s head whirled. Since answering the phone she’d uttered only a few words, and as her voice was very like her mother’s Jackson hadn’t spotted the mistake.
‘Do you think she’ll accept my word?’ Jackson persisted. ‘After what happened—does she still hate me?’
At last Freya forced herself to speak.
‘I don’t hate you, Jackson,’ she said.
There was a stunned silence. At last he spoke, sounding shocked. ‘Freya?’
‘Yes, it’s me. I’d have told you earlier but you didn’t give me the chance. If you need my help you’ll have it, of course.’
‘Do you—mean that?’
‘Of course I mean it. Ah, here’s my mother. You’d better talk to her.’
She handed the phone to Janine, who had just appeared, murmuring, ‘It’s Jackson. He says Amos needs us.’
While Janine listened to the bad news Freya kept a comforting arm around her mother, supporting her when she seemed about to fall.
‘Oh, no!’ she wept. ‘I’ll come at once—’
‘Me too,’ Freya told her, taking the phone. ‘Don’t worry, Mum. I’m going to take care of everything.’ Assuming her most professional voice, she said, ‘Jackson, can you help me with the arrangements?’
‘Certainly. We’re at Giza, and the nearest airport is Cairo.’
For several minutes Freya made notes.
‘As soon as I know the flight times I’ll call you.’
‘Fine. And, Freya, thank you for this. It means so much—I was afraid—’
‘You should have known better. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my mother.’
‘Oh, yes—of course. Right—’
He’d got the message. She was doing this for Janine, and only for her.
As soon as she’d replaced the receiver the two women fell into each other’s arms.
‘Thank you, darling,’ her mother said in a choking voice. ‘I don’t know how I’d cope without you.’
‘You don’t have to,’ Freya assured her. ‘I’m here for you and I always will be. It’s going to be all right. Trust me.’
‘I do, darling. You’re so strong. I think you can do anything, fight any battle. As long as you’re with me I know we’re all safe.’
Freya smiled and said the right things, but inwardly she wished that she too could feel safe. She had no control over what would happen now, and the feeling of being helpless alarmed her. But she’d promised, and she was determined to help her suffering mother.
She would be strong to help her mother.
CHAPTER FIVE
T
HE
NEAREST
AIRPORT
was close to the French town of Nice, about ten miles away. From there they could get a flight to Cairo. When the tickets were booked she called Jackson back.
‘The first available seats are tomorrow afternoon. We’ll land at—’
When she’d given him all the details he said, ‘You’ll be met there, and a car will take you to Giza.’
‘Does Amos know we’re coming?’
‘Yes, but he thinks it’s just a family visit because you’re missing him.’
Freya went to help with the packing, concentrating everything on keeping her spirits up. She remembered asking Janine how she endured Amos, and her mother’s answer: ‘He needs me.’
That was love. Ignoring a man’s displeasing ways to see only the vulnerability beneath was the very heart of love. And it was a feeling she’d never known with Dan, who’d never seemed vulnerable.
On the journey to Nice airport the next day Freya held Janine’s hand, feeling that
she
was the mother now. The three hours of the flight seemed to stretch out interminably, filled with thoughts that she would rather avoid. As a distraction she buried herself in a book she’d bought about their destination.
She meant her physical destination. The other destination, the one gradually evolving inside herself, was a mystery as fathomless as ancient Egypt.
There were the pyramids, she thought, slowly turning the pages to see pictures of the great four-sided tombs that rose from huge bases to a high point.
The ancient pharaohs had ensured that the world would always remember them by creating extravagant burial temples, starting on the day they took the throne. The best known was Tutankhamun, the boy king who’d lived three and a half thousand years ago and died after a mere three-year reign aged only eighteen. His tomb was one of the smallest, but in the last century it had been excavated by explorers, and so made ‘King Tut’ the most famous pharaoh of them all.
Then there was the Sphinx, the huge statue of a lion with a human head, sometimes known as The Terrifying One.
Freya felt excitement growing in her at the thought of seeing this fascinating country.
At Cairo they went through the procedures of disembarking, collecting their luggage, going through Customs, searching the crowd.
‘Who did he say he was sending to collect us?’ Janine asked. ‘Because I can’t—
Amos!
’
She bounced up and down, waving frantically to someone. Now Freya recognised Amos, hurrying forward, gathering speed as he neared his wife until they flung themselves into each other’s arms.
Freya searched the crowd for Jackson, but she could see no sign of him.
He wasn’t there, she thought with a stab of disappointment. He hadn’t bothered to come and meet them.
But then she saw him, standing a few feet away, looking so changed that she barely recognised him. The hot sun had tanned him, and he looked thinner, like a man who worked long hours and neglected himself. Despite the distance she could sense his tension, and she guessed he was really worried about his father and had taken a lot of trouble for him—even to the extent of seeking the help of a woman with whom he was at odds.
He looked up and she caught the exact moment when he saw her. New life came into his face and he raised a hand in greeting.
‘Thank you,’ he said as they met. ‘It’s wonderful that you’re here. You can see how happy it makes Amos.’
The older couple were still hugging each other joyfully.
‘I’m glad for both their sakes,’ she said. ‘And how are you? I nearly didn’t recognise you.’
‘It’s been a little tiring, but I still love doing it.’ He turned to his stepmother. ‘Janine, lovely to see you.’
He enveloped her in a hug, then took their bags.
Freya had thought she too might have received a warm embrace from him, especially after the hug they’d shared when they parted. She thought perhaps she’d demanded that hug as a way of hinting that hostilities could now be over. She wasn’t sure.
But things were different now. He’d promised to keep his distance and clearly he intended to do so. It was foolish to feel disappointed, and she wouldn’t allow herself that much weakness.
Outside, a large, luxurious vehicle was awaiting them, with a chauffeur who took charge of their bags and assisted the ladies inside. With two rows of seats it was more like a bus than a car. Jackson guided the two women to sit together while he sat opposite, with his father.
‘It should only take about half an hour,’ he said. ‘We’re going to the Harbury Hotel in Pyramids Road.’
‘Pyramids Road?’ Janine echoed. ‘Does that mean you can see pyramids from there?’
‘I’ll say it does,’ Jackson agreed. ‘You can hardly look in any direction without seeing pyramids. It’s marvellous.’
They saw what he meant as soon as they reached the city. Tall buildings rose to the sky, but behind them, dominating the world, were the pointed shapes of the pyramids.
Soon they drew up outside the hotel—an immense, luxurious building. Porters took charge of their bags while Jackson escorted them to the desk to sign in.
‘The whole television crew is staying here,’ he said. ‘They’re out doing background shots at the moment, but they’ll be here soon.’
Once upstairs, Amos showed Janine to his own room, which she would now share.
‘Yours is just down here,’ Jackson told Freya, leading the way. ‘Next door to mine, so I’m on hand if you need help.’
The room was stunning, with a floor-to-ceiling window that opened out onto a balcony from which a huge pyramid could be seen. Holding her breath, Freya went out to stand there, trying to believe that so much beauty and magnificence was so close.
Turning back, she saw Jackson waiting patiently.
‘Amos looks well,’ she said. ‘I hadn’t expected to see him so vigorous.’
‘He changes from moment to moment. Mostly he seems well, but then he’ll go dizzy, or breathless. I make him rest when I can, but you know what it’s like trying to get him to take advice.’
‘You should know that better than anyone,’ she pointed out. ‘He’s your father.’
‘Yes, but I’ve never had to try to make him see sense before—not like this. You’re the expert. If you knew what a relief it is to me to have you here.’
‘You know I’ll do my best to look after him.’
‘That’s very sweet and generous of you after everything that happened.’
‘I’m not being sweet and generous,’ she said at once. ‘I’m being professional. Amos is my patient, even if he doesn’t know it.’ With a slight edge to her voice she said, ‘Feelings have nothing to do with it.’
‘Of course. I only meant— I don’t want you to think— Well, anyway, I’m grateful.’
He stopped abruptly. The air seemed to ring with his confusion and suddenly she too was confused. It wasn’t like Jackson to be lost for words.
‘I’ll leave you to get on with your unpacking,’ he said at last. ‘Tonight you’ll meet the rest of the crew. It should be a cheerful party.’
‘How have they felt about Amos being out here?’
‘They love him. When he started talking about the falcon god I saw Larry’s face light up. That’s Larry Lowton—the producer of the series. He’s a terrific producer and he’s treated Dad well. When we get to Edfu I think he’s going to find a way of including him in the show.’
‘What about you?’
‘I’m always there, talking to the camera.’
‘But you’re a Falcon too. Doesn’t he want to make use of that?’
‘You’re surely not suggesting that anyone could mistake
me
for a god, are you, Freya?’
‘I suppose not.’
‘Issuing edicts? Laying down the law? Nah! I’d be sure to make a mess of it, wouldn’t I?’ He regarded her with wry amusement. ‘That’s one thing I guess we can agree on.’
Here was dangerous territory. But she coped with ease, simply saying lightly, ‘If you say so.’
‘I do say so. Right, I’ll be going now. I’ll collect you in an hour.’
‘How do you dress for dinner here?’
‘Usually it’s pretty casual, but not tonight. Everyone’s poshing up in your honour. If you need me I’m just next door.’
He departed without waiting for a reply. Freya gave a small sigh of relief. So far it hadn’t gone too badly. Humour was a good way to deal with things.
It was a little disconcerting to know that he was next door, and when she went out onto the balcony she glanced at his window, ready to retreat if he appeared. But he didn’t, and she was able to breathe in the magical atmosphere undisturbed.
She’d brought a couple of elegant cocktail dresses with her. For dinner she chose one in blue silk that fitted her figure neatly without too much emphasis. Like Jackson, she was keeping her distance.
There had been that troublesome moment at the airport, when she’d feared that he had not come. But her feelings were easily explained, she assured herself. They needed him as a guide. No more. Nothing about him could bother her now. Not even the fact that he was in the next room.
After an hour he presented himself, dressed in an evening jacket.
‘You look fine,’ he said politely. ‘Let’s go and collect our parents.’
Both Amos and Janine were smartly dressed for the evening, and Freya was glad to see that the atmosphere between them was warm. Amos seemed to be enjoying himself.
Seven people were waiting for them.
‘This is Larry, the boss,’ Jackson said lightly. ‘He gives his orders and we all jump.’
‘That’s Jackson’s idea of a joke,’ Larry said. ‘I don’t think he’s ever taken an order in his life.’
Freya took to Larry from the start. In his early forties, he was moderately handsome, if slightly on the plump side, and he seemed to live permanently on the edge of laughter. He introduced her to Tommy, his second-in-command, a lively, feverish young man who sent her an admiring message with his eyes and started blurting out incoherent words—which Larry firmly silenced.
‘He’s a good lad,’ he told Freya under his breath, ‘but he can be exhausting.’
Jackson joined them and introduced the rest of the team, finishing with a dazzlingly pretty young woman who greeted him with a peck on the cheek.
‘This is Debra—Larry’s excellent secretary,’ Jackson explained. ‘And sometimes she deigns to act as my secretary too.’
That wasn’t her only role in his life, Freya thought; not if her teasing manner towards him was anything to go by. She watched as he sat next to Debra, giving her his full attention, laughing at something she said, meeting her eyes.
When the introductions were finished Larry led Freya to a chair and pulled it out.
‘Sit next to me,’ he said. ‘I want to know all about Jackson.’
‘Surely you know plenty about him by now?’ she said.
‘Only the trivial things. But every time we argue he wins. That’s got to stop. I want you to tell me about his weaknesses, so that I’ll have him at a disadvantage instead of the other way around.’
He spoke in a loud voice, inviting everyone to share the joke.
Jackson grinned. ‘He’s been trying to catch me on the hop since the day we met,’ he announced. ‘No success so far.’
‘But I can live in hope,’ Larry declared. ‘If this charming lady will be my co-conspirator?’
‘Nothing would give me more pleasure,’ Freya assured him. ‘I could always tell you about the time three years ago when— Well, let’s leave that until later.’
The mention of three years ago was a message to Jackson. This was a jokey conversation in which the recent past played no part. Tonight was simply for pleasure. His nod told her that he understood and agreed.
Larry was an entertaining companion, with a gift for telling anecdotes. One in particular reduced her to such a fit of laughter that everyone else at the table stared.
‘I’m sorry,’ she choked, bringing herself under control. ‘It’s the way you tell the story—were you ever an actor, by any chance?’
‘Yes, I was,’ he said. ‘I started as an actor and gave it up to become a director. And you saw through me. Boy, you’re really clever!’ He took both her hands in his, gazing deeply into her eyes. ‘Some time soon we must get together and you must tell me
all
about yourself.’
She wasn’t fooled. This wasn’t real flirting but a bit of harmless fun. And he expected her to understand it that way. His teasing glint made that clear. She had no problem in chuckling and saying with mock fervour, ‘I can’t wait.’
There was a cheer from the rest of the table, and cries of, ‘Watch out for him, Freya. He’s a dodgy character.’
‘Well, I can see that,’ she said. ‘There’s the fun.’
Tommy raised his glass, declaring, ‘
I’m
a dodgy character too. Don’t forget me.’
‘You’ll have to wait,’ she said. ‘I only have time for one dodgy character at a time.’
The evening was a big success. Freya would gladly have stayed later, but she could see Amos trying to suppress a yawn and not succeeding. When Janine squeezed his hand he rose to follow her without protest.
‘I’ll come with you,’ Freya said. ‘Goodnight, everyone.’
‘Goodnight,’ Jackson said. ‘Sleep well. We’ve got a heavy day tomorrow.’
Debra, sitting beside him, giggled and clutched his arm. Freya turned quickly away.
Upstairs, she and Janine worked at making Amos comfortable, to which he responded with the comment, ‘Stop fussing, you two. I’m all right.’
‘Of course you are,’ Freya said. ‘I’ll see you in the morning.’
She kissed her mother and departed. Now she badly wanted to be alone and it was a relief to escape to her room. Once inside she didn’t put on the light, but opened the glass door onto the balcony and went out into the night air.
A soft light still gleamed on the pyramids, making them glow faintly. Entranced, she stood watching, enjoying the feeling that she was witnessing a mystery that stretched back centuries. It was a sweet, magical feeling that seemed to take her back to another time, when the world itself had seemed imbued by magic.
But what folly that had been. And how quickly, how brutally it had ended.
She was swept by a strange mood; deep inside her there was a kind of anguish—not for Dan himself, but for what he had seemed to represent: hope, wonder, a belief that life could be beautiful.