The Complete Groupie Trilogy (51 page)

His condition had aged him. Had she just not noticed before?

He barely looked Andy in the eye as Maggie rolled him through the entrance. At every turn there was yet another reminder how he lost his manhood. This homecoming was such a far cry from the first time he had brought her here. In Philadelphia it was one thing to be treated like a half of a man. In Malibu, the town he owned thanks to the empire he had created, it was a very dif
ferent story.

In the last week Andy had been a busy girl. The huge white menace, as she had taken to call Graham Manor, looked lived in again. There were cheerful flowers all over the house and delicious chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven to welcome him home. It was almost enough for him not to dwell on the new ramps and obvious modifications the house had undergone to accommodate his new condition.

“Everything is ready,” Andy told Maggie. “Including the bedroom, if he’s tired from the trip.”

Maggie shook her head. “I think we’ll get him comfortable in the living room. Those cookies smell like they’re almost done. Would be a shame to miss that first yummy, melted bite.” She smiled down at Graham, who wore that familiar scowl on his face.

“Don’t speak to me as if I’m not here,” he told them both in a low growl. “And don’t treat me like a child.” He tried to square his shoulders but it only made him look weaker the way his bony shoulders poked out under his jacket. “I’d like to go to my room.”

Maggie just shook her head. “I don’t think so. Andy worked really hard to get your house ready for a nice homecoming. Let’s check out the place and see what’s new.”

“I know what’s new,” he spat. “I’d like to go to my room so that I can rest.”

“No can do,” Maggie informed him. She rolled him across the floor to the hallway. They made their way past the bathroom so they could see all the new railings he could use to help himself get in and out of the new whirlpool therapy tub. His jaw clenched as he listened to Andy explain what all had been modified for
their ongoing therapy regimen.

They passed Maggie’s new room, which was bright with large, happy sunflowers on the desk and nightstands. “That’s so lovely,” she said to Andy. “Thank you.”

“Don’t get used to it,” Graham muttered. “You won’t be here that long.”

Maggie just chuckled as she patted him on the shoulder. “I know, hon. I’m fired.”

They rolled by Andy’s room, the original guest room where she had previously stayed. She could see that despite his best efforts not to be, he was curious where she had decided to plant herself in his home. Any question that he had been hoping she’d share his room was immediately answered by how his eyes darkened with disappointment she chose the privacy of the guest room.

Finally they ended up at the biggest room in the house. It used to house his recreation room, so choosing to modify this one for his home gym made sense. It had big windows that overlooked the ocean for an inspiring view and was large enough to house all the equipment he’d need. There were tables for massage therapy and parallel bars he could use to start trying to walk again when the time came. Aesthetically it looked much like the physical therapy wing at the hospital in Philadelphia, with the added touches of his home. Platinum records lined the walls as did other memorabilia that showed Graham history as the president of Baxter Mega-Worldwide Media Corporation. He stood shoulder to shoulder with his Grammy winning artists and even heads of state over the course of decades that spanned his auspicious career.

“We thought it would be motivational,” Andy said as she looked down at him. But the way he stared at the photos it was as though he saw his own ghost.

He gulped and without looking at either of them said, “May I please go to my room now?”

Andy stole a glance at Maggie, who gave a slight nod. “Of course,” she finally said as she squeezed his hand and turned to leave.

“I want Andy to take me to my room,” he announced. Again Andy deferred to Maggie, who hesitated just a moment b
efore she nodded a second time.

Andy said nothing as she walked behind the wheelchair and maneuvered it around and back down the hall. Graham was quiet as well, especially when they walked by
her bedroom door a second time.

He didn’t even glance inside.

She pulled open the double doors of his bedroom and rolled him in. As much as she had tried to keep it the same, the hospital bed and equipment that now furnished his room were hard to miss. The adjoining bathroom also had railing around the toilet, and his mirror and sink had been lowered to accommodate the chair.

She felt the agitation waft from his rigid body as she knelt to lift up the footrests of the chair. “I bet you’re tired,” she said with a forced cheerful smile. “Must have been a long flight.”

“I thought maybe you’d be sleeping in here,” he said softly as their eyes met. “Especially since I can’t ravish you in this condition.”

Andy sighed as she perched on both knees on the floor in front of the chair. “You wouldn’t ravish me in any c
ondition,” she replied.

“And that’s always been the problem, hasn’t it?”

Andy looked away. Why was he doing this to her now? She was still in turmoil from the last encounter with Vanni. She didn’t need yet another man confusing her and painting her into an emotional corner. “Graham…”

“I want you to stay with me,” he whispered. His eyes were desperate. She knew he needed her to comfort him, to give him hope… to give him something that made him feel like a whole man again. That broken tone in his voice tore at her heart.

“I am here.”

He shook his head. “No, you’re not. You’re still with him. In every way that matters you’re still with him.”

She rose to her feet. “This is not about Vanni,” she tried to explain, but he cut her off.

“Have you seen him since you’ve
been back?” he wanted to know.

“Of course, I have,” she confessed. “That was business… about the band…”

“Has he been here?” Graham persisted. “In my house?” Finally he choked out, “with you?”

She sat on the edge of the bed and took Graham’s hands into hers. The very thought she could have been with Vanni in his house had eaten him up ever since she’d been gone. She could see that now. That was why seeing her belongings in another room had hit him so hard. It was a cold reminder that she loved another man and wanted to be with another man… much like the night of the Christmas party.

She thought about confessing that Vanni had been at the house but it would have just upset him more by casting more doubt. Instead she promised, “I would never do that to you, Graham. I made my choice in Philadelphia. I am here, one hundred percent.”

“Then stay in here with me,” he implored softly.

“No can do,” sang a cheery voice from the doorway. It was Maggie, who held a tray full of warm cookies and milk. “If you want to be walking by the end of the year, you will need all the rest you can get.” She placed the tray down on the bedside food tray Andy had ordered in case he wanted to take meals in bed. She turned to Andy. “Looks like I forgot the napkins. Why don’t you go get us some?”

Andy gave her a grateful nod before she scurried from the room. She lingered in the kitchen, trying to gather her wits about her. Instinctively she knew that was why Maggie had intervened. She was a smart cookie, Andy decided, and thanked God once again she had someone like her there to help.

By the time she had returned Maggie had Graham settled in the new bed in the new pajamas that Andy had ordered. They weren’t as big on him as his regular clothes, but one could definitely see how his body was deteriorating.

They stayed and chatted a bit while they ate the cookies, but before long Graham started to nod off. Maggie grabbed the tray and encouraged Andy to leave him in peace so he could sleep.

The two women entered the kitchen together. Andy grabbed the plate and glasses to rinse them off for the dishwasher. She was clearly upset from the previous encounter in the bedroom. Maggie had given a lot of thought on the matter in the week and a half Andy had been in Los Angeles, and she finally decided it was time to confront the 800-pound gorilla in the room.

“You have to be really careful how you let Graham manipulate you,” Maggie warned as she
stored the rest of the cookies.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Andy protested, but she didn’t look the other w
oman’s way.

“You feel guilty, it’s only natural. And it’s a bad situation. But honestly, you don’t owe him anything that comes at the expense of yourself.”

Andy twirled around to face her. “How can you say that? If it weren’t for Graham I would be in that condition… or worse.”

“Or,” Maggie offered, “She could have missed entirely. Maybe the bullet would have struck someone else. You can’t base your entire life on a ‘what if,’ Andy. And you can’t allow him to manipulate you into thinking you owe him any more than you are willing to give.”

Andy sighed and put her head in her hands. Maggie took pity on her and walked over to put her arms around her. “I just don’t know what to do,” Andy finally confessed.

Maggie pulled away to look her directly in the eye. “Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do if he were able to walk. Otherwise you’re not just setting yourself up as a victim. You’re keeping him one too.”

“That’s the last thing I want to do.”

“Then keep him focused on the things he can control. He thinks his body is his enemy right now, but he’s not entirely helpless. He can build up his muscle mass. He can regain his independence. These are the things that will help reconstruct his self-esteem and restore his manhood. Anything that comes from a relationship may feel like it’s the same thing but it’s not – it’s just a distraction he doesn’t need.”

“Me either,” Andy agreed. She grabbed Maggie’s hands in hers. “I’m glad you’re here, Maggie. I couldn’t do this without you.”

She grinned. “I know.”

When Graham awoke from his nap later that afternoon, Maggie refused to take no for an answer when it came to keeping their physical therapy routine. Andy could hear them fighting all the way across the house where she sat in his office. He’d insist she was pushing him to do things he couldn’t do. She’d counter he couldn’t have gotten that big house by being a wussy quitter. She nagged and needled and he resisted and argued… but after about an hour things calmed down again when she rolled him into the bathroom for soak in the tub.

Their relationship struck Andy as so odd. Maggie refused to take any excuses due to his understandable condition and though he screamed and yelled at her he seemed comfortable to let her hang around. It was as though he treated her as the personification of his injury. He could get mad at her. He could submit to that primal rage. It felt good to be mad. To scream at the fates. To rail at the gods. But in the end he followed her instructions and got a few inches further than he would have gotten on his ow
n.

Maggie wanted him mad. Being mad meant he was going to attack his disability rather than submit to it. There were no guarantees that he’d ever walk again, but there no guarantees that he wouldn’t. She was perfectly comfortable pushing him in full faith it could be done. Even if he couldn’t walk again this would build his strength, which he would need to adapt to his life as a paraplegic. Just one more rep with the weights or one more lift from his chair and he would learn he was not confined by anything more than a sour attitude. By the end of their sessions he was no longer yelling. He was amazed that he could do just
a bit more than the day before.

That night he insisted they eat together in the dining room. Andy lit candles and opened the door so he could feel the ocean breeze cool everything off after the heat of the day. Maggie left them alone to sit together one the veranda overlooking the ocean. Andy lit the stone fireplace, and then walked over to the chair she had set up at
his side. They didn’t say anything as they watched the tide roll in and out. She didn’t protest when he took her hand in his.

She grasped it softly as she gave him a smile. Finally, for the first time in a while, he returned it.

The next day, however, presented a whole new set of challenges. Vanni had arranged a meeting. He wanted to introduce the new bassist to the label and get the P.R. machine cracking on what he called the New and Improved Dreaming in Blue. Andy thought Graham should be there to oversee everything but even though Maggie considered it a positive step, Graham wasn’t having it.

“I’m not going,” he decided as he pulled his co
vers up over his lifeless legs.

Andy tried to be sunny and supportive. “I think it might do you good to get back to the office, to get back into your normal routine.”

Graham glared at her. “Nothing is normal anymore,” he repeated yet again.

“Of course it is,” Maggie offered from where she sat in the corner of the room. “So what if you can’t walk across the office. Your brain still works.”

“That’s not the point,” he insisted. “You both tell me to focus on my health. Why not let other people handle the business for now? Andy you know more about that band than anyone. You could go.”

She shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She thought back to the last time she had seen Vanni and the state he was in. “It’s just really complicated.”