The Complete Groupie Trilogy (52 page)

“When wasn’t it?” he challenged.

An
dy sighed. He had a point there.

“Leo Newman is one of the best managers in the business. He’s managed a successful tour. He can manage the change-up in the band.”

“Iain wasn’t totally sure he could be trusted,” Andy pointed out.

“Iain’s not here anymore, is he?” Graham countered. “All you need is my signature on a revised contract, and I can do that from here. I trust you with everything else.”

Somehow she doubted that, but she didn’t challenge him. Instead Andy glanced back at Maggie helplessly, but she just shrugged. While she wasn’t worried that a trip to the office would set him back, she couldn’t really argue that making him go would help him in the long run. She’d long since learned to pick her battles with Graham. They could work on his physical therapy while Andy took care of an individual Maggie already knew agitated Graham to the point of uselessness.

Andy pursed her lips. “Fine,” she said as she rose from where she sat next to him on the bed. She stalked off to her room to shower and change. She had a sneaking suspicion there was no way to ever be ready to see Vanni, much less in the self-destructive state he seemed determined to enjoy right to the bitter end.

Chapter Seven

August 22, 2010. Los Angeles.

Vanni

In just seven days Dreaming in Blue experienced the most unprecedented creative growth in its history. The day after he met Vanni, Julian met the rest of the band and felt around with the bass in some of their best known songs. He took to it immediately, as though he’d learned their biggest hits in the space of twelve hours. This impressed Yael and Felix even though they were primed to hate their musi
cal brother’s replacement.

After impressing them with his preparation, he then wowed a normally stoic Yael with an impromptu jam session that featured what he could do on guitar. His skill was undeniable. Julian admitted he’d been playing almost non-stop since he was seventeen, when he and his sixteen-year-old sister made their way west by hit
chhiking all the way from Ohio.

They finally made it to Los Angeles after years of living like gypsies as they traveled from town to town. In the interim Julian had learned a lot as part of any bar band that would take him in. There were never formal classes and training like Yael had been privileged to have. Instead he toiled by the sweat of his brow and the luck of the draw.

Yael hated to admit he thought that took way more guts. It gave him an edge in his playing that had been missing from their material up to that point. Yael and even Felix kept up with the pace. They stretched beyond their more structured and layered sound for something more powerful and raw. Vanni looked on with a smile on his face. It fit his mood way more than the ballads he was more than happy to shelve for the near future.

By that weekend they had written four new songs and Vanni had been only moderately drunk through the duration.  Resurrecting the music sparked his creative drive. This helped dull somewhat the ache t
hat had taken root in his soul.

Also there to distract him were the sparkling blue eyes of a cheerful pixie that stayed just to the sidelines of their creative frenzy. Though she probably didn’t know it, Holly Neal was the biggest reason that Vanni no longer stayed blindly intoxicated 24/7, even though it was a struggle every minute he was anywhere near sober.

The first night Julian had confided in Vanni how much their father’s drinking had scarred her. The reason they left home at such a young age, facing the unknown dangers of life on the road, was because their dad had beaten the hell out of her in a drunken rage. She had reminded him too much of his wife, whom he resented for leaving him to care for two kids all on his own, and often bore the brunt of his frustration. Where their mom bolted while she was still young and desirable enough to catch a rich man, Holly was forced to step into the caretaker role in their family early, with a strength belied by her tiny stature.

The way she took care of her brother was especially enduring to Vanni, who had grown up as a lonely only child. There were many times he wished he’d had a sibling… a brother to play baseball with or a sister to protect. But he grew up alone, with only his mother and his aunt to buffer him from the unkindness of the world.

Despite their rocky beginnings, Holly did that for Julian with a cheerful smile and faithful consistency. Once Julian joined the band she took everyone under her wing with that same thoughtful maternal attention and care.

The more she took care of him the more he wanted to man up for her so she didn’t have to. He certainly never wanted to give her another sloppy drunk to clean up after. So Vanni made the conscious decision not to do anything that would trigger horrible memories from a life they
had fought so hard to overcome.

This was much easier in thought than in deed. He learned early on quitting cold turkey was not in the cards. Sobriety punched through his consciousness like a fist. He was jumpy and irritable, making him even more of an ass than he’d been while stone drunk. He sweat like a pig and nearly vomited the coffee he had co
nsistently tried to force down.

Like an angel Holly would appear with some aspirin and water to help him wash the poison from his system. And when it became crystal clear his moodiness, depression and suppressed rage were not under control, she slipped him s
ome pills to take the edge off.

She also looked away when he’d swipe a beer because even with her magical pills he felt like he was coming unglued inside his skin. She tried to smile away her disappointment, but it was clear as long as he drank he would never truly get close to her.

Once again he realized a woman needed him to be strong, and once again he failed her. Each day ended up a painful exercise in futility matching who he wanted to be with who he really was.

Whenever he lumbered through the door at two o’clock in the morning he’d grab the nearest bottle of booze he could find and make up for lost time as he sat on the leather sofa that faced the Pacific. Sometimes he’d call for a prostitute and sometimes he’d just pass out trying to pleasure himself to snippets of all the women he’d ever made love to. They all ran together, their faces an
d their bodies and their names.

He couldn’t bear to see anyone familiar, which was why he steered away from any Andy or Holly look-alikes from the service after the first couple of times. He was frustrated and unfulfilled. Trying to substitute them only made it worse, just like the alcohol.

At that point he really didn’t know what would make it better. He just drifted from remedy to remedy praying for a cure.

Juxtaposed with the band’s growth was Vanni’s struggle to keep up. Each morning he showed up for band rehearsal he looked progressively worse. Leo slipped him some prescription pills to help him sleep, which kept him from reachin
g for the booze during the day.

Holly rewarded him with longer hugs and homemade lunches. It was as though she knew how hard he was trying to man up for her. The way she pampered him was reminiscent of a different time, when women were socially conditioned to care for their men as their top priority.

It was the one thing he had never had in all his relationships, even with Andy – who had now promised to give exactly that treatment to another man. This made Holly’s behavior all the more welcome. She still stopped him short of any kind of physical contact beyond a hug. She gave him just enough to want more.

Thanks to the ongoing struggle and Holly’s welcome distraction, by that Monday morning he had barely thought about Andy at all. This was good news for Leo, who never missed an opportunity to remind Vanni it was useless to pine over her when she had made her choice. Much like Holly’s mom she had gone on to the bigger better deal, and had sent him on his way rather than try to save him that first awful night back in Los Angeles.

She had another man to save. She was no longer his rock or his salvation.

Vanni felt empowered as he showered to prepare for his first meeting with Graham. Not only was he going to take control of his career path, he had to congratulate himself on how quickly he was able to get Andy out of his head. He lived most of his adult life by one consistent rule: it only took one woman to forget another one. There was never any reason to pine over one like a heartsick loser because there were way too many lined up ready to take another girl’s place, especially when you’re Giovanni Ca
rnevale.

Why break his own rules for anyone? Even one as luscious and amazing as his Andy?

That was the thing, he had to remind himself. She wasn’t his anymore. While Holly was waiting on Vanni hand and foot, Andy was tending to Graham. Vanni knew all too well the arms that would be there to catch Graham whenever he would fall, and lift him higher than he had ever dreamed reach.

And just like that his mood took a turn for the worse. All his progress evaporated at the mere thought of her embrace, her touch… her devotion. That all belonged to someone else now – he hadn’t gotten over
her
. She had rejected
him
. That realization never failed to make his confidence plummet.

As the time marched forward that he’d go see the man she had chosen, Vanni’s stomach twisted into a knot. For the first time in days he started his morning with a drink. He convinced himself he just needed a little bit, but before he knew it the vodka bottle was empty. When that didn’t do the trick he reached for some of Holly’s magic pills, which he had come to learn were an anti-anxiety medication.

He tried two at first, but after twenty minutes he reached for more with trembling fingers. He knew he had to get it together. He had called this meeting to assert his authority over his band. He couldn’t let Graham see him weakened or compromised.

Within an hour he was on his way downtown. He felt pretty high and as such pretty confident to face off with his old boss. There were some major changes coming in the band and Vanni wasn’t going to be deterred from making these changes. Graham may have taken his Andy, but he wasn’t going to mess with the music.

It was all Vanni had left.

He met Leo and Julian in the lobby. His intoxication was unmistakable. Leo took him by the arm and pulled him aside. “Dude, this is business. You gotta play this straight.”

Vanni smiled. “Don’t worry, Leo. I got it all under control.”

Leo was not convinced. “I think you better let me do the talking,” he advised.

Vanni’s face clouded over with a primal anger. “This is my band,” he told him. “I always do the talking. You got that?”

Leo’s jaw clenched but he nodded. He motioned for Julian to follow them to the elevator and up to the top floor.

Vanni was even more agitated when Graham’s secretary made them wait just outside the office. He considered it a dick move just to prove Graham was still the boss. His mind toiled as he rehearsed what he was going to say to assert his own dominance over his career.

He hadn’t felt the need to do that since Jasper. He remembered how he shook in his shoes when he stood up to Jasper Carrington, one of the most powerful men in entertainment. He was still wet behind the ears back then, and in the worst possible position of being at the mer
cy of an unscrupulous contract.

Things were a lot different now. He was Giovanni Carnevale, world renowned rock star. He sold out arenas all over the world. He had women who practically threw themselves at his feet. He could get into any club, date any celebrity and sell any product. His face sold magazines. His voice sold CDs and digital downloads. His invitations to perform ran the gamut of talk shows to talent shows. He had even been a
sked to judge aspiring singers.

He was now the expert on what made someone a star.

They had even put together a DVD package of their first tour with Baxter’s label which had topped all best-selling charts online and in retail shops everywhere.

He was “It,” and he wasn’t going to let some slave-driving record producer
make him feel like some flunky.

He had just gotten angry enough to finally face off with Graham when they were called back into the office. He was nearly rooted to the floor in shock to see Andy sitting there at Graham’s large desk instead.

Though she had the benefit of surprise on her side, she seemed just as shaken to see him… especially in the shape he was in. She had heard from Gwen that the new rehearsals were going well and he was even making slow progress on his sobriety. That was clearly not the case at that moment.

She motioned for the men to sit in the chairs across from the desk. “Leo,” she tipped her head his direction and he said nothing as he made an imperceptible nod in reply. Julian reached across to shake her hand before he took his seat.

Vanni sat last and didn’t speak or touch her at all, though he had been the one to request the meeting in the first place.

She cleared her throat. “Thank you for coming,” she offered as she reached for the portfolio Gwen had prepared on Julian. “It’s nice to meet you Julian,” she said with a forced smile. Like the guys in the band, to her he represented a scrub that didn’t fit with the DIB family she had grown to love. It was going to take some getting used to in order finall
y accept him as one of her own.