Sex & Mayhem 04 No Matter What (15 page)

Luca cleared
his throat. “I’m good,” he muttered, trying to catch Ghost’s gaze.
“When’s the party?”

“Next Friday.”
Ghost’s eyes were focused somewhere on the wall, and wouldn’t meet
his. Was he angry? Luca was certain of it at this point, but just
how
angry was he? Frederico could go for hours in company,
seemingly calm, and then burst out with anger in private.

“Will
I
be there?” asked Luca when Lucky turned around with a jar of
strawberry yogurt, which already had a spoon in it.

“Are you
kidding? You need to be there. We’re gonna have a drink
together.”

Ghost smiled.
“If you want to.”

Lucky shook his
head and gave Luca the yogurt he’d never asked for. “Of course you
want to. Everyone’s gonna be there. I’ll be getting smashed. Tooth
doesn’t like it, but I’m twenty-one now, I can do whatever I
want.”

Luca chuckled.
“I’m twenty-one as well,” he said and put some yogurt into his
mouth. He didn’t want to be ungrateful.

Lucky looked
him up and down. “You look a bit older. Must be because of that
stubble. Are you growing a beard? I could give you a discount at my
barber shop if you did.”

Ghost just
snorted, and Luca glanced at him, getting tense when he remembered
yesterday’s comment about him needing a shave. “You’re a barber?
Maybe I could come over sometime. But for now, do you have any
disposable razors?”

“Yeah, sure.
Don’t mind Ghost. He’s just jealous, because he’d look like young
Santa if he grew a beard.” Lucky laughed and poked Ghost’s arm.

“Go on, rub it
in…” Ghost shook his head.

Luca wanted to
say how much he liked Ghost’s coloring, but as he tried to catch
Ghost’s gaze, all his efforts were ignored. Ghost wouldn’t even
look at him anymore, so the least he could do was not drop another
gay-bomb.

Lucky led them
through a large corridor, all the way upstairs to a bedroom with a
king-size bed and its own bathroom.

“I got you two
comforters in case Ghost’s afraid to get gay cooties,” Lucky stuck
out his pierced tongue.

“If they exist,
I’d be covered in them from the moment I entered the house.” Ghost
laughed.

“That’s about
right. Just don’t tell Tooth,” said Lucky, encouraging Luca to eat
more with a gesture, so Luca packed his mouth full of yogurt and
forced it past his tightened throat. He needed to apologize. The
longer Ghost was thinking about what Luca had said, the more
irritated he’d get. Frederico would usually get soothed by a nice
long blowjob, but what could Luca possibly give Ghost?

“Here’s a pair
of extra keys,” Lucky put them on top of a cupboard by the door.
“Feel at home. I made space for you in the fridge. And stay as long
as you want. I gotta go to the hospital with Asty, to check up on
Dolly.”

Ghost nodded.
“I’ve heard she’s not doing well…”

Luca must have
seemed lost, because Lucky hurried to explain, “My dad’s wife.
She’s got cancer.”

Luca put down
the yogurt on the dressing table. “I’m sorry. Hope she’ll get
better.”

Lucky sighed
and glanced at Ghost. “She’s far gone. Dad’s devastated.”

Ghost’s gaze
finally turned to Luca, and it was such a relief he wanted to cry.
“You’ve met Priest. He’s the club president, and Lucky’s dad. Tooth
has a lot on his plate now, because he’s like... second in
command.”

Luca nodded and
pulled Lucky into an embrace. “So sorry.”

Lucky stiffened
for a split second but then returned the hug. “Thanks. My sister
seems to be taking it the worst, I can’t even get through to her
anymore.”

Ghost cleared
his throat. “Maybe she could see someone who’d work it through with
her. You know, help her deal with all this.”

Lucky shrugged
without much conviction. “Maybe.” He pulled out of Luca’s embrace.
“I gotta go. It was so great to meet you. Do you cook?”

Luca blinked.
“No.”

Lucky’s face
fell. “Ah, okay, was just wondering. If the cats don’t get along
with Nomad after all, just get them out into the garden, and I’ll
deal with them when I come back.” And with those words, he turned
around and stomped downstairs in a pair of big black boots.

Nomad was busy
discovering every nook and cranny of the room, but even watching
him couldn’t disperse the tension in Luca’s body. He looked up at
Ghost, playing with the zipper of his hoodie.

“You don’t like
the room?” Ghost asked with a little frown, zeroing in on Luca the
moment Lucky left.

Luca’s stomach
turned into knots. “Please, don’t be mad. It just slipped. I wasn’t
thinking.”

“What slipped?”
Ghost closed the door and put his backpack on the bed.

“You know...
the gay thing... me asking you to tell Lucky I’m good-looking.”
Luca chewed on his lip, watching Ghost’s hands push inside the
backpack.

“Ah, yeah,
that.” Ghost groaned. “We have to be more careful.”

Luca folded his
hands and grasped the sleeves of the hoodie. Of course Ghost was
angry. He only told him to keep quiet the day before, and Luca
already blew it. “I’m really sorry. I just felt so happy that I
completely forgot that you forbade me talking about this to
anyone.”

Ghost sat on
the bed, and looked up at Luca, giving him all of his attention.
“Hey. What’s up?”

Luca wished he
could melt into the wall and disappear. “I just... I don’t know how
I can make it better.”

Ghost got up
and walked over, with his eyes firmly on Luca’s. “But it’s fine.
Just a slipup. I don’t even remember. It wasn’t even actually
telling. Don’t stress out. You can be yourself with me. We do have
to work out the gay thing, but don’t worry too much.” Ghost slid
his arms under Luca’s and gave him a hug that could melt away any
trouble.

Luca closed his
eyes and pressed his face into Ghost’s neck. “What if you get tired
of the real me? Everything’s so new, and I’ll probably fuck up
a
lot
of stuff,” he muttered.

Ghost kissed
Luca’s ear and stroked his back. “I didn’t fall in love with you
because you agreed with everything I said, did I? Everyone fucks up
sometimes. I’ve had some major fuckups in my life. You’ll be
fine.”

“You’re such a
sweet guy,” whispered Luca. If he had a choice, he’d choose someone
like Ghost to be his first ever boyfriend. Sweet, kind,
understanding.

“I just hope
you
don’t get bored with a ‘nice guy’.” Ghost smiled and
gave him a kiss.

Luca gasped
against Ghost’s lips and held on to his hand. “I’ll never want any
other kind of guy.”

“I’ll bring
over my Xbox tomorrow, and we can relax, check up on our
characters. Would you like that?”

Luca nodded. He
reached up and brushed his fingers over the warm skin of Ghost’s
face. “Do you want me to shave before we go out?”

Ghost cocked
his head to the side. “It’s up to you… I like you anyway. I want
you to wear my hoodie though.”

Luca smiled at
that and pulled the soft garment tighter around him. “You sure? It
doesn’t squick you out?”

“It would
squick me out if you were trying to be something you’re not for me.
You’re a guy.” Ghost took a deep breath. “No way to hide that.”

Luca exhaled,
squeezing his fingers harder on Ghost’s hand, and his heart beat so
fast he was getting light-headed. “Sorry. I’m being stupid.”

“No, I get it.
It’s all new for me, too, but I’m here for you in the same way I
hope you’re there for me. I have no one closer than you.” Ghost
entwined their fingers, and Luca’s throat tightened when he looked
down at their hands.

“You’re the
only person who cares for me. Of course I’m there for you.”

Ghost gave him
one more kiss before pulling away. “Now let’s get you some new
stuff. I love you, but I’m not sharing my toothbrush.”

Luca chuckled
and pulled him to the door, proudly wearing the hoodie. He hoped
he’d get to use more of Ghost’s old clothes. Just knowing he’d kept
them after they stopped fitting told Luca how much Ghost liked
those garments. And they were all so nice and casual, nothing like
the stiff, fragrant shirts coming back from hotel laundrettes.

They walked
Nomad and headed out. The mall was huge, and with Luca finally
feeling well enough to be hungry, they started out with a simple
breakfast and coffee, which was terribly watered down, but Luca
didn’t mention it to Ghost, who seemed to enjoy his cup. The two of
them talked about all the usual things. The game, the sandwiches
they were having while people watching. They’d already spoken about
this online, but sitting together by the café’s window and looking
at the various people streaming down the corridors of the mall felt
different than just killing boredom during some formal dinner.
Everything was new, foreign, and shiny, even though most of Luca’s
belongings usually originated from places that were much more
upscale than the stores he’d seen in this mall.

The last time
he’d visited a shopping center like this one, his parents had still
been alive, and he didn’t know most of the brand names here anyway,
so they just walked into places that looked good. Ghost was so
different from the only partner Luca had been with, that he wasn’t
sure what to do about it. Ghost didn’t want him to be pleasing,
didn’t suggest any clothing choices other than the hoodie, which
was probably out of sentiment anyway. The first two stores were
tricky, as Luca really wanted jeans, but not having worn them since
he was fifteen made it difficult to predict which size and style
would look best on him.

Ghost was
patient as if he had all the time in the world. He always
suggested, never tried to make arbitrary decisions for Luca. Yet
when he told Luca that a pair of black skinny jeans looked good on
him, Luca was set on getting those. They had a worn look that
Frederico would have never agreed on.

“I’ll get you a
laptop. Nothing amazing, but you’ll be more independent. You’ll be
able to look for jobs on your own and all that.” Ghost smiled at
him and leaned against a rail of clothes. He didn’t wear anything
fancy, the same plain blue T-shirt he’d put on in the morning, but
there was a casual sexiness about him that Luca found hard to
ignore. The T-shirt wasn’t too tight, but it was definitely fitted,
stressing Ghost’s chest and arms. It was warm enough in the store
for Ghost to carry his leather jacket in his hand. If only Luca
could jump his bones freely, he’d be the happiest man alive.

“You sure you
have this kind of money?” asked Luca, even though he knew Ghost
wouldn’t suggest that if he didn’t. Ghost told him he had some kind
of secret stash no one knew about. And while it scared Luca to go
into debt again, even with someone as generous and sweet as Ghost,
it made sense. Computers were the only thing Luca had ever been
good at, and Frederico even had him do some hacking for his
personal use. He could start a small online business that would
keep him afloat.

Ghost waved his
hand dismissively. “Sure. I bet you’ll get yourself some new fancy
computer in no time. I saved some money when I decided on this
crazy plan to seek you out.”

“Well, you got
me my new favorite accessory,” chuckled Luca, tracing the ring on
his hand.

He didn’t get
to see the smile he expected. Ghost’s face fell, and his eyes got
that stormy look Luca never wanted to see. “We can get the size
adjusted for you. That doesn’t cost a lot.”

Luca chewed on
his lip, hiding his hand behind his back. He’d fucked up again. “I
shouldn’t have brought that up.”

“No, it’s fine,
I just hate the thought that you got hurt like that by him.”

Luca gave a
nervous chuckle and played with the ring. “Well, can you blame him?
Someone else put a ring on
his
boy.”

Ghost came
closer, with his eyebrows drawn together. “Oh God… This is my
fault? I can’t believe I was so stupid.”

It was as if
time stopped as they stood in the middle of a store with colorful
clothes. The blood drained from Luca’s face. “N―no, of course not.
How is that your fault?”

“I gave it to
you. It’s hard to even comprehend monsters like him exist, but on
the other hand I know all too well that they do. I should have just
given it back to you later.”

“Don’t say
that.” Luca swallowed, walking up the closest he could without
raising any eyebrows. He’d give up more fingers if it could have
kept Antonio and Frederico away from him that night. “He was angry
at me. He would have done
something
. It doesn’t matter
anymore.”

“I guess it
could have been worse,” Ghost muttered and looked at his shoes. “I
just hate to see you hurt. I haven’t been sleeping well, because I
keep worrying something bad will happen, and I’ll lose you.”

Luca sighed and
brushed his hand over Ghost’s shoulder, pushing into him when a
group of girls wanted to pass through, and the brief contact was
enough for him to steady himself.

“I’m not going
anywhere,” he said eventually. “You can keep me.”

“I’ll tell you
something, but you have to promise not to laugh.” Ghost smiled a
little as he looked up. His eyes were so bright blue that Luca
hardly believed they weren’t contact lenses. The webcam didn’t do
justice to Ghost’s coloring.

“Sure. I’ll do
my best.”

“I imagined I
would go into that restaurant, sweep you off your feet, propose
then and there. I’d have my friends tackle your boyfriend if
needed, and as you accepted my engagement ring, everyone in the
restaurant would stand up and clap. Like in the movies.”

With the new
pop hit ringing in Luca’s ears and people browsing through clothes
all around them, he forgot about the whole world, completely
focused on Ghost’s handsome, pale face.

“That... would
have been perfect.”

“Yeah, a
kidnapping at gunpoint wasn’t exactly on my bucket list.”