Read Sex & Mayhem 04 No Matter What Online

Authors: K.A. Merikan

Tags: #Romance, #love, #internet, #Gay, #ptsd, #doctor, #international, #abuse, #angst, #biker

Sex & Mayhem 04 No Matter What (12 page)

“I was thinking
about it all night.” The way Ghost’s voice turned into a whisper
had goose bumps break out all over Luca’s skin. Ghost slid his
fingers to Luca’s knee, making something twitch deep inside Luca.
“How about giving it a shot? Just to try…”

The moment Luca
dared glance up at Ghost, shocked, Ghost leaned closer and pressed
his lips against Luca’s. They were soft and throbbed with warmth
that rushed through Luca’s body like a tidal wave. They were hardly
touching, and yet it felt as if gentle fingers were all over Luca.
He gasped into Ghost’s mouth, shifting closer to the sunny presence
next to him. He craved Ghost’s touch like he needed water. He was
dying of thirst, and Ghost was there to give him the most
mouthwatering drink. Ghost’s fingers slid to Luca’s jaw and cheeks,
and it was nothing like Frederico’s brutal grip. He owed everything
to Ghost yet didn’t feel indebted, because the help was a sincere
gesture. When Ghost’s lips nudged his open, Luca gasped into the
kiss, boneless against that strong, firm body.

He slid his
hands around the thick girth of Ghost’s torso and pulled closer,
resting his head on the muscled shoulder. The fresh shirt smelled
of detergent, but a bit of Ghost’s natural scent was already
soaking through, and the mixture was intoxicating enough to make
Luca’s head light. He was so completely safe.

Luca didn’t
even want to think about what that kiss could mean. Of the messy
details of Ghost’s sexuality, or the complications resulting from
their relationship. Here and now, he wanted to believe the kiss was
forever. Nothing could hurt him when he was in Ghost’s arms. When
the kiss deepened, fireworks exploded all over Luca’s aching body,
dulling the pain with a surge of endorphins. Ghost’s tongue was
like liquid fire, and Luca burned with it, letting Ghost hold him
in place with gentle but steady hands.

It was all Luca
had wanted and much more. He fought the discomfort in his chest and
turned slightly for a more comfortable angle. His hands wandered up
and down Ghost’s sides, climbing all the way to his face. Luca
shuddered when Ghost’s agile, soft tongue teased his. Only the
solid body next to his held him up at this point, and with
sensations washing through him with the force of a hurricane, he
was quickly getting aroused.

The room was an
alternate universe. A world much less dangerous, one without pain
and fear. It was just Ghost and him. The kiss stretched into an
eternity, as if Ghost was greeting Luca’s lips, getting him
accustomed to touch. But nothing lasted forever, so even this
nuclear bomb of sensations had to eventually evaporate. Ghost
pulled away by only a few inches and pushed his forehead against
Luca’s, looking into his eyes as if he could see through his
soul.

“I’ve never
done anything like this, but I can’t stop thinking about kissing
your lips since I laid my eyes on them. Would you give me a chance
knowing I can’t promise anything yet?”

Luca swallowed,
pushing back all thoughts of Ghost leaving him after all. If that
happened, he’d likely die of grief, but at the same time, the offer
was a dream come true. He’d finally be happy for the first time
since the death of his parents.

“Yes,” he
whispered, brushing his thumb against the grain of Ghost’s tiny,
barely visible stubble. He would do anything to be with Ghost.
Anything.

The smile Ghost
gave him melted his insides. “Then I have to kiss you again,” he
said and did just as he promised. Tender, slow, and sweet. Like
thick, warm honey poured over Luca’s lips.

“Do you like
it?” Luca gently nudged the seam of Ghost’s lips with his tongue
and moved his hand lower down Ghost’s torso, until he felt the
powerful heartbeat against his palm.

“You’re turning
my world upside down.” Ghost took a deep breath, his face flushing
pink. Instead of kneeling, he sat on the floor and pulled Luca
closer, between his spread legs. Even now his touch was gentle,
wary of every ache in Luca’s body.

Luca gave him a
faint smile and shifted closer, putting his legs over Ghost’s
thighs and crossing his ankles behind Ghost’s back. “I don’t want
you to regret it,” he told Ghost, and brushed the back of his hand
over his torso.

“What could
possibly go wrong, right?” Ghost laughed nervously but gave Luca’s
lips another peck. “I’m lost in what you make me feel.”

Luca’s chest
tightened. Lots of things could go awry. Ghost could decide he
didn’t want to have a gay relationship after all and start hating
Luca for stirring unwanted feelings. But for now, he wanted to
savor all Ghost would give him, and so he smiled and caressed the
pink lips with his thumb. “Me too.”

It was slowly
getting dark outside, and the neverending pounding of rain against
the windows was like the rhythm of Luca’s heart.

“But we need to
keep it quiet for now, okay? Or is that something you’d be
uncomfortable with?” This time, Ghost’s kiss landed on Luca’s
cheek. “You need to shave.”

Luca blinked,
pulling away and rubbing his face. It did have a bit of stubble.
Was that something that squeaked Ghost out? “Now?”

“Um… no. I’m
just saying. What about the other question?” Ghost nuzzled Luca’s
cheek, as if to make him feel at ease again.

“Don’t worry.
Frederico always kept me a secret. I’m used to it,” he whispered,
looking into Ghost’s eyes. Would Ghost not want to give this a try
if he said ‘no’?

Ghost’s hands
settled on Luca’s shoulders, and his eyes blurred. “Oh God… I don’t
want to be like him.”

Luca chewed on
his lip and cupped Ghost’s face with both hands. “Come on, you’re
nothing
like him.”

“I’m sure we’ll
figure it out. It’s just that I’m getting an earful from everyone
as it is. The club might have a gay VP, but the guys are still
rough around the edges.” Ghost slid his arms around Luca and pulled
him into a hug.

“It’s fine. I
don’t need much,” said Luca, caressing Ghost’s face with his
fingertips. It was as if he’d fallen from the depths of hell
straight into the arms of an angel. “Are you working in that
club?”

“Not exactly,
no. I’ll be a prospect for a while. I’ll need to be on call for
them for whatever’s needed. There might be some money involved, but
I’ll have to look for other opportunities as well. I need to start
on the right foot with the guys, so they have my back once I become
a patched member.”

Luca didn’t
know what to make of it and laughed, shifting even closer to Ghost.
“And in English? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Being a part
of the club is a serious thing. My dad always wanted me to join the
Coffin Nails. Both Priest, the club president, and Tooth, the vice
president, have been asking me to become a member. They want
someone with medical skills to be on call. But before I become a
member, I need to prospect, you know, pay my dues sort of thing,
show everyone that I’m serious about it. There’s always odd jobs to
do around the club, but prospects don’t get paid much. And you’ve
heard that Frederico is a ‘business partner’. He deals drugs,
doesn’t he?” Ghost looked away.

Luca exhaled.
The mere mention of that name had him feel as if spiders were
crawling down his shoulders. “You’ll be dealing drugs?” Now it made
sense why Ghost’s mother had made such a scene downstairs.

Ghost took a
deep breath. “No. I mean, I don’t think so. Everyone has their
role, and they don’t exactly want me for my street smarts.”

“But why would
you be in a gang... because that’s what this club is, isn’t it?”
uttered Luca, petting Ghost’s arms. “You were always against
narcotics.”

“It’s more of
a… community. I don’t condone it, but my dad’s a part of it, a lot
of these guys are my friends. I― Fredrico agreed to let you go
because of his connection to the club.” Ghost nuzzled Luca’s jaw
but kept avoiding his gaze.

Luca stared at
Ghost’s chest, deflated. Frederico wouldn’t have kept him much
longer anyway, but the ties to the club could be what made him
leave Luca alive after discovering his transgression. “I suppose...
if you’re their doctor,” he muttered, leaning forward and hugging
Ghost. It was getting dark outside, even more so with the windows
so wet, and thick, dark clouds gathering yet again. “I’m just
worried.”

“Don’t be. You
just need to get better now. Rest. I want you to take your time.
Explore the area. I know it must all be new to you. I want you to
settle in. We’ll go shopping in the next few days, get to know each
other in this new, fleshy way.” Ghost smiled, but his face fell
pretty quickly. “Did that sound pervy? That’s not what I meant. I
meant, like, in person.”

Luca took hold
of Ghost’s hand and pressed it gently against his own chest. After
last night, he didn’t really want to do much ‘fleshy’ stuff, even
with Ghost, but he knew it would be fine, and he’d feel better
eventually. He
wanted
sex with Ghost, and Frederico couldn’t
possibly change that, even if he tried. Luca had only ever had sex
with people he didn’t choose, but he wouldn’t let that ruin his
chance for happiness. “Let’s take things slow? I’m not feeling well
enough for... gymnastics,” he muttered with a small smile.

“Yeah, I
wouldn’t know where to start anyway.” Ghost exhaled. “As in, I
technically
know
, but I’ve only been with three girls.”

Luca nodded and
pulled his fingers through Ghost’s nearly white hair. It smelled
amazingly fresh, too. He couldn’t help but return to the fantasies
of Ghost’s warm body spooning his under thin covers. “I have a lot
to learn, too. You might not believe me, but I didn’t get to
explore those things much.”

“We have time.”
Ghost kissed his cheek and clearly smelled him. “I need to adjust
to all this as well.”

Luca smiled and
crooked his neck to give him more access. “Good?”

Ghost chuckled.
“Yes, though I don’t know what that says about me.”

“That you like
me?” tried Luca, nuzzling Ghost’s nose. He was quickly getting
drunk on the joy of being together like this.

“No. I love
you,” Ghost whispered.

Luca stared
into his bright, kind eyes and had to close his own when they
started clouding, itching with wetness. His chest tightened, and he
clasped his fingers around Ghost’s hand. Overwhelmed by all the
emotions washing through him, sad and ashamed of the things he’d
done to get here, but if Ghost knew he was a guy and loved him no
matter what, it had all been worth it.

Luca pushed his
face under Ghost’s jaw, savoring the warmth of his neck. “Love you
too.”

 

Age of Endless -
7

 

Ghost:
I think
I’ve fallen in love with you. Please don’t be angry…

 

Zara:
...Angry?
Wow, I’m just… I’ve had feelings for you for a while now.

 

Ghost:
I just
didn’t want you to feel like it’s the only reason I stick around.
I’m not a creep.

 

Zara:
I know
you’re not ;) You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met.

Zara:
I love you
too...

Chapter 8

 

It was yet
another night when Ghost could hardly sleep. With Luca’s handsome
face next to his, Ghost couldn’t help but toss and turn, trying to
work out what would happen now that they could physically touch.
There was no doubt in Ghost’s mind that he was most probably
bisexual, but how much of a bisexual,
that
he still needed
to find out. He didn’t like watching porn much, and he actively
avoided watching any gay porn, in case it sparked more unwanted
feelings. This whole ‘gay’ issue had been easy to push aside when
he thought of Zara as his finish line, but ending up with Luca
instead was so confusing he didn’t know what to think anymore. How
was this to even work? If he told other people, would they just
think he’d been gay all along? Stop talking about girls around him?
He didn’t want to be treated any different, and he did notice how
the guys had changed some of their behavior around Tooth after
finding out about his relationship with Lucky.

Kissing Luca
was so good though. It wasn’t like making out with some random guy
Ghost found hot. He’d never done that. But Luca? Ghost knew him
inside out, even if as the wrong gender. Ghost still wasn’t sure
what he thought about Luca’s masculine body. It looked so fine
under the thin comforter. Luca insisted on wearing the top of the
pajamas Ghost had gotten for him, but with the shorts really being
a stretch, he’d settled on a pair of Ghost’s old jogging pants.

Luca slept
soundly, his face completely serene on the pillow next to Ghost. He
was curled up into the fetal position, his left hand positioned at
his lips. The bracelet and ring were in place, and they looked so
good against his dusky skin. Not too girly at all. One time, Luca
awoke when Ghost did, and they shared a few sleepy, chaste kisses
before settling to sleep again. As afraid as Ghost was to hold Luca
tight, not to be inappropriate, touching his forearms and face felt
too right to let it pass, and so he savored the warmth of smooth
skin as much as he wanted.

Ghost was
devastated to see the bruises changing color all over Luca’s chest,
back, on his wrists. He could only imagine the horror Frederico and
his henchman had put Luca through. Even thinking of it had Ghost
hold Luca closer. It felt strange to hold a male body with such
tenderness, but he wasn’t finding it unpleasant in any way, so he
decided to go with it and see what happened. Did gay men even
cuddle this way, or was he hugging Luca like he would a girl? Would
Luca mind?

“You want to
sleep some more?” Ghost asked and kissed Luca’s ear. His hair
smelled so nice, yet so different than sweet, girly perfumes he’d
imagined Zara using.

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