Secrets of My Hollywood Life #4: Paparazzi Princess (18 page)

"Kaitlin, by the way," Mom adds. "They have a date for the
Pretty Young Assassins
press junket. It's going to be Saturday, February twenty-eighth."

Wow. I can't believe it's time for that already.

"Oh and I saw Liz's dad today," Mom says. "Are you two fighting?"

Nadine gives me a look and I turn away. "No," I squeak.

"I didn't think so," Mom says. "I told him if you two weren't speaking, I would know." She heads to the kitchen. "Have fun tonight!"

Nadine and I are alone again. Awkwardly, uncomfortably alone. I sidestep Nadine and reach for the doorknob.

"I don't care what your mom thinks, Lauren and Ava
are
a bad influence," Nadine says quietly.

I whirl around. "I don't care what you think," I say boldly. "I don't care how many articles you leave me, I'm not going to stop hanging out with them just because
you
say so."

Nadine genuinely looks confused. "I haven't been leaving you any articles."

Someone has. They've been leaving them under my dressing room door.

"Kaitlin, I just want what's best for you," Nadine stresses.

"I thought you wanted what's best for
you
," I point out. "Maybe if you'd stop pushing me around so much and blabbering on about the SATs all the time, I wouldn't have to go out on a work night to blow off some steam. Just because you haven't done anything with your life other than be an assistant is no reason to take it out on me! You've become a real pain, Nadine."

As soon as I say the words I want to take them back. Nadine's face is ashen. I didn't mean it like that. I was just angry, I want to say. But I don't.

"I didn't realize I was being a
pain
," Nadine says, looking hurt as she emphasizes the word
pain
. "I'm just trying to be your friend. Friends tell each other when they're about to fall off the edge of a cliff, and that's what I think you're doing. Lauren and Ava aren't going to do that because they like watching people fall. They only care about themselves. Once you've driven your career into the ground, they'll move on to some other starlet. Just like they did when they were friends with Sky. You know that's what happened, don't you? As soon as Sky stopped buying them expensive presents and taking them on vacation with her, they dropped her."

"You don't know what you're talking about," I say uncertainly. I know they're not friends anymore, but Ava and Lauren said it was because they had a fight. A car horn beeps outside and I jump. That's got to be Ava and Lauren. "I have to go," I say simply and then I disappear into the warm Los Angeles night air while Nadine watches me from the doorway.

On the car ride to the club Shelter, I'm quiet. Ava and Lauren don't seem to notice because they're singing at the top of their lungs to Rihanna. I feel too guilty to join them.

I can't stop thinking about what I said to Nadine. Even if she has been going overboard, I shouldn't have been so cruel. She may be pushy lately, but I'm lucky Nadine hasn't left me to pursue business school, like she always said she would. For the first time in a while, I feel very tired. But we're at the valet and I have to go inside.

No matter where we go, my nightlife routine with Ava and Lauren always works the same way: pose for the paparazzi outside the club, schmooze the club owner and take a few more photos, go in and grab a table in the VIP section, spend twenty minutes talking to whatever celebrities happen to also be there that night, pose for pictures with them (if any paparazzi happen to be inside), and then hit the dance floor. Tonight I sit the first few songs out. After fifteen minutes, Ava and Lauren slide back into our booth.

"Kates, how could you not join us for that song?" Ava wants to know. "It's the new Layla and the CD won't be out for three weeks! DJ O is going to get it for playing that."

"Why?" Lauren asks. "It was on Ryan Seacrest's show this morning already."

HOLLYWOOD SECRET NUMBER ELEVEN: You know how songs from an upcoming album sometimes get leaked to radio stations or on the Internet before a CD release and the star screams "I'LL SUE?" Well, that's pretty much bogus. Most songs that are leaked to the Web are on there because the label wants to test the waters and build up buzz for an album before it drops. Sure, sometimes songs get leaked by disgruntled employees, or vengeful assistants that have been treated badly, but for the most part, when stars say how "hurt, upset, and betrayed" they are to find out their hotter-than-hot new single was leaked ahead of time, they're usually stretching the truth.

"I didn't realize it was Layla," I admit as I absentmindedly stir my seltzer with my straw. "I wasn't really listening."

Ava and Lauren look at each other. "Listen, Kates, we have to tell you something," Lauren says. "The poor-little-sweet-Kaitlin-I'm-so-depressed act is getting old."

I feel like I've been slapped. "Excuse me?"

"It worked for Britney for a while, but then people got tired of her too," Ava adds. "We thought you'd brighten up after we let you tell your sob story, and you did for a few nights, but now you're all sully again and it's keeping the cute guys at bay."

She's got to be kidding. "You mean
sullen,
" I clarify. "You said
sully
." It's an SAT word so I should know.

"Whatever," Ava says. "The point is you're bringing everyone down. We just saw Lauren, Lo, and Audrina and they didn't want to come over to take a photo because you looked so miserable."

"Oh look! There's Paris!" Lauren shrieks. "Let's go say hi."

The two of them leave and I find myself relieved that they're gone. The fog has definitely lifted. Maybe Nadine was right. When I think back over the last few weeks, I can't make excuses for the girls anymore. Yes, they were there for me when I needed them, but that doesn't mean they're the best people to hang around with. Lauren and Ava are awfully obsessed with having their face in the paper. They talk about everyone we see behind their backs. They're mean to their fans. Their stealing is going to catch up with them eventually and I don't want to be there when that happens. And going out all the time is overrated.

I've got to admit the truth to myself if no one else. At first the nightly dinners and dancing were a great escape. But after two weeks of it, I have to admit I'm bored and exhausted. Spending all this time at the big celeb hangouts only reminds me of why I never go in the first place -- it's not fun to be photographed all night and hang out with stars that only care about being a star.

I miss Liz. I miss the old Nadine. And even if I don't make up with either of them, I'm starting to think I can't spend all my time with Lauren and Ava either.

"Hey, Kaitlin." Diane Byler approaches the table and smiles at me.

I know Diane because we're both on the same network. Or I should say
were
since Diane's show was canceled two seasons ago.
Spaces Between Us
had a long run. Her show was on for six seasons, which is better than most. Diane and I sometimes used to eat lunch together and I was bummed when her show ended and we didn't get to do that anymore. She's really sweet and very quiet.

"Hey, Diane," I say, happy to see a friendly face. "What have you been up to?"

She shyly sits down. "Auditioning for pilots," Diane tells me with a grim face. "Same thing I did last year, but the one I had last time didn't get picked up."

"I'm sorry to hear that," I say.

"I'm tired of being offered the same role over and over," Diane complains. "Everyone wants me to play a character like the one I had on
Spaces
. It's so hard breaking out of that typecast. I guess it's hard finding something great when you had great once before. Nothing compares, you know?"

"I know what you mean," I tell her and mean it.

"I was stupid when the show ended." Diane shakes her head sadly. "I passed on a few great movies. I thought the work would always be there, but it gets harder the longer your face isn't seen on camera."

That could be me in a few months if I'm not careful! My heart starts thumping to the beat of a Kanye West song. And not in a good way. "I'm sure things will turn around," I say and put a hand on hers. She smiles at me gratefully.

"Hey, Kates." Lauren and Ava are standing over our table staring at us.

"You guys know Diane, right?" I ask.

Lauren and Ava barely nod. "Kates, we need you for a second," Ava says and tugs on my arm. "Can you come with?"

Diane looks uncomfortable. "That's okay, I should go," she tells me. "It was great seeing you. Keep me in mind if you hear of anything, okay?"

"I will," I tell her.

When Diane is far enough away, Ava and Lauren burst out laughing. "What a loser, asking you for career help," Ava says.

"She doesn't need my help," I say defensively. "Diane's career is fine. She's just hit a rough patch."

"Some rough patch. That girl has sunk so low she'll never float again," Lauren says. "Especially since she packed on those ten pounds."

I can't believe they're being so cruel.

Then again, is it so hard to believe?

"She looks like a sausage in those white jeans," Ava adds and laughs so hard the table shakes. Lauren's drink spills onto her jeans.

"Idiot!" Lauren says and grabs a napkin to blot her pants. "I just stole these jeans from Blue Moon yesterday!"

"Whatev," Ava says. "We'll just go back and get another pair tomorrow. Maybe we should pick one up for Diane too. She could use some sprucing up. Too bad she couldn't fit in any of their sizes!" The two of them roar with laughter.

If it wasn't clear enough before, it is now. The three of us are too different to be close friends. Ava and Lauren don't have rules or listen to anyone else's. They're fun, yes, but they're also mean, and disrespectful to anyone who doesn't do things their way. I feel whooshing in my ears and suddenly I'm very hot. Being here with Lauren and Ava doesn't feel right. Tossing and turning at home over my future and the end of
FA
doesn't feel good either. Even in a packed club of people, I feel very lost. I have to leave. "I think I had some bad sushi for dinner," I lie. "I'm going to call Rodney to pick me up."

Lauren pouts. "You're lame! We just got here."

"I know, but I just remembered I have an early call time tomorrow and an early photo shoot on Saturday. I need to get my beauty rest," I say, repeating Nadine's words.

At the word photo shoot, Ava's frown turns into a smile. Her whole face lights up. "Who do you have a shoot with?"

I have an overwhelming feeling I shouldn't tell them who it's for, but I'm sure they could find out if they really wanted to. "I'm doing a cover shoot for
Sure
." They both squeal.

"We love that magazine. We should come with," Lauren tells me.

"We'll be your personal stylists," Ava adds and puts her arm around me. "Just tell us where and when."

I grab my Cinch leopard-print bag, the one Lauren and Ava convinced me was so "me." Looking at it now, it doesn't feel so me anymore. "I'll call you," I say even though I don't think I mean it.

"Okay, hon," Ava says. "Feel better. Love ya!"

Then I walk away from the table, sure of one thing: The minute I'm gone, Ava and Lauren are going to talk about me behind my back, just like they've done to a dozen other people tonight.

Thursday, February 19

NOTE TO SELF:

Apologize 2 Nadine.

Call Liz.

Check on
Manolos
&
Meeting of the Minds

Read remaining scripts.

Study 4 SATs!

HOLLYWOOD NATION'S. . . . . . .

Is Kaitlin Burke headed for disaster?by Nicki Nuro

America's sweet-faced teen star is hanging with some questionable new pals--party girls Lauren Cobb and Ava Hayden--and friends worry it could lead to her downfall.

On a recent night out at Mr. Chow, the appetizers looked yummy, the laughs were fast and furious, and Lauren Cobb and Ava Hayden seemed to be having a good time. The only one didn't look like she was enjoying herself was Kaitlin Burke. Could it be that Kaitlin has finally caught on to Ava's and Lauren's ways and is questioning their friendship? That's what one friend of the star thinks. "When Kaitlin first started hanging out with them, no one in her entourage really cared, but as her personality slowly began to change, everyone became worried. Those girls are a bad influence on Kaitlin and Kaitlin knows it."

"Kaitlin has been having a rough time lately," another source confirms. "With
Family Affair
ending and the intense pressure to find a new project, she seems really stressed. Plus she's fighting with her best friend so the world just seems against her at the moment."

Enter Ava and Lauren. When the two first appeared at Kaitlin's side, the trio seemed to be all about fun and games. The newly formed threesome have been inseparable ever since they vacationed together in Turks and Caicos over the holidays and hung at the Cinch for a Cause luncheon. Their datebook has been full ever since. They've been spotted shopping at hot spots Belladonna, Belle Gray, Kitson, and Bleu, eating at Oasis, Koi, and the Ivy, and dancing the night away at Parc. They've also taken to wearing matching dresses.

Kaitlin certainly smiled for the camera when we approached the girls outside Mr. Chow, but looks can be deceiving. "Kaitlin definitely seems to be out of her element," says a source. "I'm worried that she's in over her head."

"I'm really upset about her. She's going to ruin her career if she is

Lauren and Ava are known for mischief and controversy, the kind that can get a respected star like Kaitlin in trouble. Kaitlin's already witnessed their dark side first hand--the group's night at Parc ended when Lauren and Ava started a fight with arch nemesis Blake Porter and got thrown out of the club. That's probably the first time Kaitlin, known as a sweet girl who always does what she's told, has been thrown out of any establishment. But when asked to comment on her new friendship, while shopping at Bleu, Kaitlin said, "I'm doing great!" That's what Lauren and Ava think too. "We adore Kaitlin," said Lauren. "She's such a great girl and we love hanging out with her."