Secrets of My Hollywood Life #4: Paparazzi Princess (16 page)

"Friday night," Lauren tells me as she piles another group of jeans over her arm.

"Friday night I have a date with Austin," I say. I would
never
miss a date with Austin for a party.

"Boo," they whine in unison. Boo seems to be one of their favorite words.

"I hate that she has a boyfriend and we don't," pouts Ava, hiding her head in a fur-lined Juicy hoodie she's still debating. "It's only fun if we all have boyfriends together."

That's a weird thing to say. Liz and I never cared if one of us didn't have a boyfriend and the other did. We've never let the situation affect our friendship.

"Well if you're not coming to the party on Friday night, then you have to go to Shelter with us on Thursday night," Lauren says. "We get there around ten. We can wear the dresses! The press will love it!" Lauren pulls Ava and me in for a tight shot and Gary and Larry oblige.

I don't want to say anything, but by ten on weeknights, if I'm not still on the set, I'm usually in my pajamas watching a TiVo'd episode of
Grey's Anatomy
. "Um ..." My phone rings and saves me. I look at the screen and practically drop it. "Guys, I have to take this outside. It's, um, my agent." I motion to the store clerk about the phone and she nods. I guess she doesn't think I'm about to run off without paying.

I take a deep breath. Then I answer the phone. "Hello?" I use my cheeriest voice.

"Kates? It's Liz." Her voice sounds small and shaky.

Maybe that means she's as bothered by us not talking as I am. But then I remember everything she said. Even if she is upset, she still thinks we've grown apart. "Hi. How are you?" I say stiffly.

"Good," she says. "You?"

"Good," I lie.

"Great," Liz says, sounding nervous. Then there's a long pause.

That has never happened before. Usually it's a case of us talking so much that Nadine has to pull the phone from my ear so that I'm not late for wherever I'm going. Suddenly, even the Scoop shoes and cute Juicy sweater don't thrill me. Thinking of Liz and our fight makes me sad.

"I feel bad about what happened at lunch," Liz says.

Really? "Me too," I admit. And just like that I feel hopeful. Maybe this was all a misunderstanding.

"I didn't mean to upset you, but I thought you should know how I was feeling. You've been so distant lately and it really upset me."

The hope bubble bursts just like that. "You haven't been around either," I say lightly. I'm afraid to make things worse, but I'm not going to lie either. I take a deep breath. I have to say this. "I don't know why us growing apart -- as you call it -- should be all my fault." When Liz doesn't say anything, I start to babble. "I'm not saying we
have
grown apart. I mean, maybe we have, but I didn't see it that way. I just thought we were both busy and --"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you, but I just don't know how to explain myself," Liz says, sounding as awkward as I do. My babbling seems to have rubbed off on her. "I'm not used to us . . . and . . . I mean . . ."

Liz can't seem to find the words and for a moment, I want to wait and listen. I want to tell her it's okay. We both messed up. I'm thinking about saying just that when --

"CHICKY, what are you doing out here?" Lauren pokes her head out of the store and yells at me. "We have to try on more shoes and we can't do it without you," Lauren adds. "Gary is waiting!" She sees my phone and looks at me suspiciously. "Who are you talking to?"

"Liz," I mouth and motion for her to give me two seconds.

"UGH! Hang up already! She's not worth the minutes," Lauren complains.

My face flushes and I'm mortified. I hope Liz didn't hear that.

"Who are you talking to?" Liz wants to know.

"My friend Lauren," I say slowly. "I'm actually out shopping with some friends."

"I thought you were at work," Liz says. Her voice sounds strange.

"I was, but I'm on break. Lauren and Ava picked me up for lunch."

"Kaitlin," Lauren whines. "Come on! I told you Gary is waiting. He just got another call and he has to leave. We've got to get the last shot. Hang up with that loser. She doesn't deserve you!"

My jaw drops. I know Lauren is just trying to defend me, but Liz is not a loser. Liz had to have heard Lauren. I know it. And now I have a feeling the conversation we just had made things worse between us. I'm too tired to be upset. I just want this fight to be over.

Before I can say anything, Liz says stiffly, "I can see you're busy with your new friends. I'll try you another time."

"I'm sorry. Can we talk soon?" I ask awkwardly and try not to sound too sad when Liz hangs up without saying when.

I push open the doors to Belladonna and my phone rings again before I even have time to take in what's just happened. Liz tried to make up, I think, and I started rambling and then Lauren interrupted us and I let her. Why did I put Lauren before Liz? Why didn't I tell her I had to take care of this first? This conversation was important and I think I just blew it. What if I ruined my only chance at fixing our friendship? I think I'm going to throw up. What's wrong with me? My phone rings again. Is that Liz calling back? I look at the screen and see "restricted" on the caller ID.

Oh God. Who could that be? My breath gets tight and short. Someone other than Matty and Nadine knows I'm not at work, don't they? I've been avoiding all of Nadine's calls, but I don't know who this is from. Tom? Should I just let it go to voicemail? I take a deep breath and answer.

"Kaitlin speaking." I try to sound super professional. If it's Mom or Tom I can try to say I had a dentist appointment. If it's Nadine, I'm in big trouble.

"Hey, gorgeous," I hear Austin say.

I exhale. "Austin, hi!" I walk back into the store and forget all about what just happened. "Your number came up funny."

"My cell phone died. I forgot to ask you something before so I'm on Rob's phone," he explains. "Where are you?" I'm sure he can hear all the commotion in the background. Lauren just found a pair of Scoop shoes she had been looking for and she and Ava are jumping up and down and screaming while Gary and Larry take more pictures even though Lauren claimed they were getting ready to leave.

"Shopping," I admit guiltily. I mouth the word "Austin" to Ava and she grins.

"On a workday?" He laughs. "I don't know how you squeeze everything in."

"Well, I had a break so I'm out with Ava and Lauren. Those are the girls in the pictures with me from the
Vanity Fair
party --"

"Hi, Austin!" Lauren grabs the phone from my ear and Ava snuggles up next to her so she can hear too. "This is Lauren."

"And Ava!" Ava winks at me.

"I've seen your picture and I have to say you're really cute." Lauren giggles.

"Way hot. You're not a dork though, are you?" Ava asks.

"Ava!" I scold.

They fire off a few embarrassing questions before I wrestle the phone back. "It's me," I say, shooing the girls away by pointing out a cool bag I just spotted.

"So that's Lauren and Ava." He sounds amused. "They sound . . . interesting." I'm not sure if that's a compliment, but I'm too afraid to ask.

"They are," I promise, "and they're dying to meet you."

"So when are you due back at work?" Austin asks. "I've never heard of you shopping on your lunch hour before."

"Yeah, well." I can't lie to him. "Tom wanted me to film my interview for the retrospective and Nadine was driving me up a wall so I bailed."

"Burke, that's not like you," Austin scolds.

"I know," I say guiltily.

"What time are you due back?" Austin asks.

I look at my watch. It's 2:15 PM. 2:15! I was due back at work fifteen minutes ago! "I'm late," I shriek. "I'll call you later."

"Get back there," Austin says. "Miss you."

"Miss you too," I murmur. I wish I could say more, but the "I love you" thing can't be said over the phone. Especially with Larry the Liar nearby.

"Guys, I've got to go!" I wave down Lauren and Ava before they can head back in the dressing room with another pile of clothes. "I'm late."

Lauren looks up. "No biggie. I'm sure they'll be cool with it. We'll leave in a few." She pulls me close for another picture.

The sales woman walks over and offers to take my stuff from me and turns to Ava. "I just talked to Taylor. We can give you a thirty percent discount today, but I can't give you anything gratis. We've had a light month. I hope you understand."

"Sure. No problem," Ava says with a tight smile. Then she pulls Lauren and me into the dressing room and makes a face. "Great. I was sure she'd comp half our stuff for sure when we brought Gary! She always does!"

"What a pill," Lauren moans.

"I'm going to sort through my stuff and go pay," I tell them as they continue to complain. As I walk up to the register, I can still hear Ava and Lauren whispering in the dressing room. Hmm . . . how much do I have here? I start pulling things apart and making two piles as Gary and Larry take more pictures. When are they leaving?

"What are you doing?" Ava asks as she makes her way out behind me. "You loved all this stuff."

"I know, but it's more than I should spend." I hold up the beloved Scoop ballet flats and frown.

Ava coughs. "Hello? If you don't treat yourself well, who will?"

I stare again at the pile. Part of me feels guilty, but the other part of me agrees. I do deserve this stuff. I pull my credit card from my Chanel wallet and bang it hard on the counter. Ha! That feels good.

I feel so free spending like this. No one is here to stop me, or question my color choice (green) for that Alice and Olivia dress. I made every decision on my own. I have the power!

The clerk hands me the credit card slip to sign and smiles politely.

My total is $1,584.58.

GULP.

That is a
bit
more than I thought it would be. When I added the items up in my head it was only around a thousand dollars. I guess I added one or two things, or maybe four, but ... I start to hyperventilate. Larry and Gary keep taking my picture and I'm so annoyed I put my hand up in front of Larry's camera.

"Trust me." Lauren pulls my hand down. "When your mom sees the great loot you got, she's not going to care what it cost. Tell her she can borrow some. Your mom has a good body. She can pull it off."

Lauren's bill is way over two thousand dollars. Ava is next and her bill is equally steep. Neither of them seems worried. Maybe I shouldn't be either. How often do I splurge like this?

"Okay," says Ava, pulling out her keys. "Let's get you back to work."

Outside the store, a crowd has grown. A girl our own age taps Ava on her shoulder. Her friends are standing behind her. They all look nervous. "Hi," the girl says. Her hands are shaking. "You're Ava Hayden, right? And Lauren Cobb and Kaitlin Burke? Could we get your autographs?"

I smile and put my hand out to take her piece of paper. Ava pushes it away. "Can't you see we're busy?" she barks at the girl. "God." Ava looks at me and rolls her eyes. "It's like these people don't appreciate that we have our own lives and we don't want to be bothered every second of the day! Can't we just shop in peace?"

I want to tell Ava that she just spent an hour posing for the paparazzi while she shopped and she didn't consider that an invasion of privacy. "I'll sign it for you," I tell the girl kindly. Her friends file behind her.

"You're such a pushover." Lauren giggles. "We'll meet you at the car." The two of them walk away and I can see them whispering to each other.

"Is she always like that?" one of the girls asks me.

"She's really nice," I tell her even though I'm completely rattled by what just happened. How could Lauren and Ava have been so rude? Signing autographs is part of being a celebrity. Sure, I don't want someone to stick a pen and paper under the bathroom stall, but when I'm out shopping, I don't mind.

"She doesn't look it," complains another girl.

Ava honks her horn and I can see that her candy apple- colored BMW convertible is idling. "Come on! You said you had to go!" Ava's right. I apologize to those I didn't get to and rush to the car. Gary and Larry take a few parting shots of us as we drive off.

"Let's hit Fred Segal in Santa Monica," Lauren pleads as Ava peels away. "I need to get a jacket to match this cute skirt I lifted." She unzips her slouchy bag and pulls out a plaid pencil skirt. Several more items are crammed inside. "What?" Lauren asks me when she sees my freaked-out expression. "What was I supposed to do? She wouldn't give us the discount."

"They won't even know it's missing," Ava adds. "We do it all the time and no one cares. I got stuff for you too. Show her, Lau."

Lauren pulls out a black fitted top I really liked. "This is for you," Lauren says and holds the shirt out to me.

I stare at it and try not to freak out. "I can't take it," I blurt out and clutch my bag of actual purchases to my chest. "I don't feel right. You guys keep it."

I see Ava roll her eyes in the rearview mirror. "Suit yourself. You're lucky you and I are the same size."

I don't get it. Ava and Lauren have boatloads of money. Why would they steal stuff? Wouldn't they be mortified if they were caught and the story was all over the news? I know I would be. I'd even be embarrassed if I was with them when they were caught. I don't want to be associated with this sort of thing. I picture my young fans. I've done some irresponsible things over the years, but I've never broken the law. Between this, the way Lauren reacted when I was on the phone with Liz, and the way they treated those fans, I'm starting to see Ava and Lauren in a new light. And I don't mean the bright, shiny, happy one I saw before. I hate to say this, but maybe Sky was right.

"So what do you say, Kaitlin?" Lauren asks again. "Want to go to Santa Monica?"

"This was a lot of fun, but I don't want to get myself fired. I have to get back," I tell them.

"You're not wimping out on us because we took that stuff, are you?" Ava asks. "Because it's nothing. We just do it for kicks. That stuff is way overpriced."

"We don't do it that much," Lauren adds. I nod.