Secrets of My Hollywood Life #4: Paparazzi Princess (11 page)

You think you know me,but can't you see?

I'm tired of being the princess. I don't want to win your heart,that was fine to start,
but the truth is:

(Chorus)

This Daddy's girl is ready to fly,watch me, world, with a close eye.

I've got a new way of doing things.

This time, I'm the one pulling the strings.

Lights! Camera! Action!

You've never seen anything like the new me before.

And you probably never will again, you bores.

I'm a bad girl stuck in a good-girl role,but now that the show is over, I've got a new goal.

I want to be your paparazzi princess. I want to have your attention.

Keep your eye on my ascension.

When you're not looking, I'm a different girl.

I'm not Sam. I'm ready to take the bad new me out for a whirl.

DJ, hit it!

(Chorus)

This Daddy's girl is ready to fly,watch me, world, with a close eye.

I've got a new way of doing things.

This time, I'm the one pulling the strings.

Lights! Camera! Action!

You've never seen anything like the new me before.

And you probably never will again, you bores.

There's more to it, but I can't read another line. TJ has
got
to be kidding.

I'm being Punk'd, right? This is definitely part of some celebrity nightmare show for sure. But then I look at TJ. His face is smooth and calm. Mom is staring at me nervously and Seth is sweating.

I'm your paparazzi princess? You've never seen anything like the new me before, and you probably never will again, you bores? Eww. I want to rip this piece of paper to shreds and stuff them down TJ's throat. I glare at Mom. Mad doesn't describe how I'm feeling right now.

"Pretty solid, huh?" TJ asks. "We thought you'd like that."

"Words cannot express what I'm feeling," I tell him calmly.

TJ's phone rings and he excuses himself. That's when the three of us pounce on each other.

"Meg, I've had it," Seth whispers heatedly. "You need to back off and give me room to do my job. What were you thinking?"

Whoa. I've never heard Seth talk to Mom like that. If anyone else talked to her that way, she'd fire them on the spot.

"I see now that this was a mistake," Mom says, sounding hoarse. Her face is flushed. "But I don't know how to get Kate-Kate out of this." She looks at me. "I promised you'd sing, and TJ knows too many people for you to disrespect him by not doing this. You don't have to make the CD. I promise. Just sing the song once and we'll leave."

"I just want to get out of here," I tell them both. "I feel completely humiliated! Did you read the lyrics? Paparazzi princess? Who wants to be the princess of the paparazzi? That's not me! I want this song burned after I sing it."

"Kaitlin's right." Seth is calmer. "We need to get that tape from TJ after Kaitlin sings for him. He's legit, so I know he won't use it against her when we tell them she's not doing an album, but I'd still feel better if I had the tape in my hands."

"I'll sing and then you get the tape," I say wearily. "Then I'm out of here. I don't want to hear about meetings or work for the rest of the weekend," I tell my mom.

"And all future meetings should be cleared by me before we make them, okay?" Seth says, looking at Mom.

Mom is aghast. "I know I screwed up on this one, but my heart was in the right place," Mom says. "Kate-Kate needs me!"

"I need Seth, Mom," I say quietly. "This is his area of expertise."

"She's right, Meg," Seth says. "This is why you hired me. You have to trust that I know what Kaitlin needs."

"I know what Kaitlin needs," Mom says defiantly. "I'm her mother!"

"Yes, you're her mother," Seth repeats. "You're not an agent!"

Double whoa. I'm just as angry as Seth is, and probably more on his side than I am on Mom's, but if I don't rein them both in, TJ is going to walk in and freak out. I feel sort of dizzy and I have to sit down. My chest feels tight, but I have to get this out. "Everyone calm down," I say. "I'll sing, Seth will get the tape, and Mom will leave me alone for the weekend. We'll discuss the future after that."

"Okay," Mom agrees. "Whatever you want, sweetie. I know you're going to the Grove. You can take my black AmEx." I glare at her. Even retail therapy won't make up for the way I'm feeling right now. I'm tired of being bullied.

The door opens and TJ walks over with the tape recorder. He holds it out for me.

"Ready to sing it for me?" TJ asks. "Or should I say rap? We thought it would sound better if you were angry."

I take the cold tape recorder from his sweaty hands. "That won't be a problem," I say sweetly.

Saturday, January 31

PRINCESSLEIA25: Liz, where R U? If U get this, I'm on my way!

Seven: Tell Me How You Really Feel

"Rodney, can't you go any faster?" I beg, looking at my Movado watch for the hundredth time in minutes. Mom felt so guilty after hearing me sing that awful song that she let me go ahead with Rodney while she waited for another car for her and Seth. The two of them still weren't speaking when I left them standing in front of TJ's building. Seth was livid about me having to sing that song. (He said it was bad business to turn TJ down on the spot so he planned on calling him tomorrow to let him down gently -- and insist on getting my demo back.)

"Kates, Liz will understand," Rodney assures me. "You had meetings."

One awful meeting and one great meeting. I really liked the director of
Manolos
. That movie would be a great stepping stone for me, but I feel guilty thinking about it too much. I know it sounds silly, but part of me still feels like picking a new role is cheating on Sam. On the other hand, there's Mom, who thinks the project is all wrong for me. How could the two of us disagree that strongly on what's right for my future? I'm so confused. Maybe I'll feel better after I talk it out with Liz. I can't wait to tell her about the
Vanity Fair
party!

My cell phone rings and I pick up before even checking the caller ID. "Liz?"

"Kates! Where are you?" It's Liz, and she sounds a little annoyed. "I thought we said eleven-thirty."

"I know. I'm so sorry! I've been calling and calling," I tell her. "Didn't you get my text or message? Mom sprung this stupid meeting on me and it took longer than I thought. It was dreadful, Liz."

"Tell her we're going to lose our spot if she's not here soon," I hear someone in the background complain.

"Who is that?" I ask.

"It's Mikayla," Liz says awkwardly. "We were studying earlier and she heard my dad say I was coming to Cheesecake." She sounds almost apologetic. Almost.

"Oh." My heart sinks. "I just thought . . ." Today was supposed to be about us, I want to say. It's not that I don't want to meet Mikayla, but I was looking forward to having Liz to myself today. I thought Liz was looking forward to having some "us time" as much as I was.

"I know," Liz says even though I haven't finished the sentence. She sighs. "Look, don't worry about being late. I'll tell the hostess you're on your way. How long do you think you'll be?"

I look out my window. We're getting off the freeway. "Ten minutes."

"Okay. Meet us upstairs."

Rodney pulls into the Grove and drops me off near the restaurant so that he can go and park. I hit the ground running, stopping only twice to scribble a quick autograph, and then I race to the Cheesecake Factory. I'm looking down at my leopard Cinch bag, trying to find my Sidekick and that's when I run smack into a girl standing in front of me. "I'm sorry!" I apologize. "Are you okay?" We both look up at the same time and say, "Hey!"

It's Lauren. "What are you doing here?" she squeals. "Ava, come here!"

Ava is yakking on her cell phone, but she hangs up mid-sentence and rushes over to hug me. "I thought you had meetings," she says accusingly.

"I did all morning," I tell them. "Now I'm meeting my best friend Liz for lunch. I haven't seen her since before Christmas."

"Some best friend," Lauren snorts. She is wearing a killer green sweater and black leggings with thigh-high boots. She looks like she just stepped out of
InStyle
. She eyes my outfit and hones in on my bag. "You're using the Cinch bag! Did we tell you it was hot or what? What did your mom say?"

I blush. "I haven't told her how much it cost yet," I admit.

"Thatta girl," Ava says admiringly. Ava is in an oversized beige sweater, a Dolce tank and wide-leg jeans that look just like the ones I have on. Mine are paired with a black Tahari turtleneck and Chloé heels. Over it I'm wearing a lightweight North Face vest in creamy white with a fur trim hood. Not exactly Los Angeles appropriate, but since I'm not going to Sundance this year to ski, I might as well wear it now.

"So do you have to do lunch with your friend?" Ava whines. "We're more fun."

"Ditch her!" Lauren seconds. We all laugh. "Seriously though, when are we getting together? We'd have so much fun."

"I know," I lament. Hanging with these two really does seem like a great escape. "Maybe this week?"

Click. Click. Click.

I turn around and see Gary, Ava and Lauren's favorite paparazzo. That guy is everywhere! Ava turns me to face him. "Smile!" she says. The two of them hold up their loot from Barneys.

"What'd you get?" I say in between grins.

"A few sweaters, a cute necklace," Ava tells me. "It's rotten when you have to pay full price."

HOLLYWOOD SECRET NUMBER SEVEN: I've already told you that celebrities get a lot of their clothing for free, but when we shop retail we pay for things just like everyone else. Yes, many companies like the Gap send me clothes, but when I'm trying on jeans at the Grove, no employee comes over and says, "You can have those for free." Freebies come directly from corporate. Smaller shops like Becky in Bloom give discount cards to their preferred customers (i.e., the celebrity quotient), but others go one step further. If I bring an armload of clothes up to the counter at a boutique and the designer is there, they'll often tell me they're on the house. I'm usually so embarrassed that I insist on paying for a few items.

When Gary is done taking pictures, I turn to Ava and Lauren. I can hear the seconds tick away in my head. "Guys, I have to go."

They both groan. "Cancel!" Lauren moans.

"I'll call you!" I promise them. I look at my watch. I'm now half an hour late. Yikes. I push through the restaurant doors and scan the room for Liz. The hostess sees me and smiles. "Kaitlin Burke, right? I'll show you where your friends are sitting," she says.

Sometimes it really does help when strangers know who you are.

Liz and Mikayla are at a booth in the back of the restaurant. Liz sees me and waves. She's wearing one of her trademark head scarves over her long, dark hair and her olive skin looks great in a peach Chanel sweater that we got at Fred Segal right before she left for Hawaii. Mikayla is sitting next to her.

I can't deny Mikayla's pretty. She's got long, curly red hair, and porcelain-white skin that reminds me of a China doll. Her slightly round face is dotted with freckles. I can't see her whole outfit, but she looks very J.Crew from where I'm standing. Her green cable-knit sweater and pleated khaki skirt stand out in a sea of J. Brands and Stella McCartneys that usually dot the patrons at the Grove. I look at Mikayla and smile. "You must be Mikayla," I say as warmly as possible. "It's nice to meet you."

"That's me," she says, and shakes my hand. I notice her give me a complete once-over as I take my seat. "How were your meetings?"

I blush. "I'm really sorry I'm late." I quickly fill them in on my two meetings and Liz roars when I tell her about the song TJ had me sing. My bad mood vanishes. It feels good to see Liz, even if we do have company.

"Oh, Kates, that's priceless! You must be ready to kill your mom."

"I was, but she feels pretty guilty," I admit. "She even gave me her credit card to go shopping."

"Then she definitely feels guilty." Liz laughs.

I glance at Mikayla. I probably shouldn't say too much more about my mom or about work in front of her. I know Liz likes Mikayla, but I don't know this girl. I've learned the hard way that I need to be careful who I say things in front of. "I guess the card will come in handy," I say. "I have to get a new clutch for the
Vanity Fair
Oscar party."

Liz's jaw drops. "You're joking! How did you score an invitation?"

"Laney got me in," I say giddily. "Austin has a scrimmage out of town so I was hoping you'd be my plus-one. What do you say?"

Liz grimaces. "Oh, Kates, I can't. I'm going to be on the east coast. Daddy is taking me to look at a few backup schools. He doesn't want me to pin all my hopes on NYU. Mikayla offered to check them out with me since she'll be back at NYU by then."

"I know finding backup schools are important," I say gingerly, trying not to be too self-conscious, even though I know Mikayla's eyes are on me, "but isn't there plenty of time for that? Do you have to go to New York that weekend? Lizzie, we've wanted to go to the
Vanity Fair
party since we were twelve!"

"I know," Liz says regretfully, "but Dad already took the weekend off to go with me and Mikayla cleared her schedule. I can't cancel. I'll go with you next year." She gives me a small smile.

"Sure." I try not to look too upset. If there was one thing I thought Liz would say yes to, it was this party. Suddenly I feel like the girl I'm sitting across from is a stranger. We hardly talk anymore and she's planning trips and making summer plans without me. What's happened to us?

The silence is awkward. I decide to change the subject. "So tell me more about how you two met."

Mikayla's face lights up and she and Liz look at each other and giggle. "I was windsurfing and Liz walked over and said she'd never windsurfed before and she wanted to try it. The resort only had one board, so we had to take turns." Mikayla's green eyes are wide. "I didn't tell Liz I learned how to windsurf that morning so I was just as bad as she was."