Secrets of My Hollywood Life #4: Paparazzi Princess (20 page)

"Can we do those last?" I ask.

"Sure." Christy smiles. "Let's go back to career then. Where do you see yourself a year from now?"

I take a breath. "I hope I'll be working. I want to continue making movies and I wouldn't rule out another TV show."

"Do you think you'll make an album?" Christy asks me.

An album? "I don't think so." I laugh. "I don't have a great voice."

"Your voice is adorable!" Christy insists. "And the 'Paparazzi Princess' song is just a riot. Whatever made you come up with something so tongue-in-cheek?"

"The 'Paparazzi Princess' song?" I say slowly. My hands go numb. How does she know about that?

"I don't think I've heard the 'Paparazzi Princess' song." Austin looks amused. "Kaitlin's been hiding her singing talent from me." I grip Austin's hand tightly. I never told him about my music meeting because I thought it would all go away. Seth was supposed to get the tape from TJ ages ago!

"It's been on KROQ twice already this morning," Christy tells us.

"WHAT?" I practically shriek. I try to calm down, but I feel like I can't breathe. I try taking deep breaths, but I feel like I'm gasping for air. I wipe my hands on my jeans. They feel cold and clammy. "I mean, that was never meant to be released." I steady myself. "I only recorded it for a meeting. That was not for the public. When my lawyer finds out about this, I'm sure he's going to come down on whoever leaked it." I know I said some stars leak their tunes early on purpose, but this isn't one of those times. I never wanted anyone to hear that demo. How could this have happened? TJ may be a player, but he wouldn't do this to me. It's bad business.

"Burke, what is this song she's talking about?" Austin looks confused.

"I have a copy right here if you want to hear it," Christy says and she pushes play on the recorder before I can stop her.

My heartbeat speeds up the minute I hear my warbled voice. I place my hands over my ears. Oh God, this is awful . . .

You think you know me,but can't you see?

I'm tired of being the princess. I don't want to win your heart,that was fine to start,
but the truth is:

(Chorus)

This Daddy's girl is ready to fly,watch me, world, with a close eye.

I've got a new way of doing things.

This time, I'm the one pulling the strings.

Lights! Camera! Action!

You've never seen anything like the new me before.

And you probably never will again, you bores.

I'm a bad girl stuck in a good-girl role,but now that the show is over, I've got a new goal.

I want to be your paparazzi princess. I want to have your attention.

Keep you eye on my ascension.

When you're not looking, I'm a different girl.

I'm not Sam. I'm ready to take the new bad me out for a whirl.

DJ, hit it!

(Chorus)

This Daddy's girl is ready to fly,watch me, world, with a close eye.

I've got a new way of doing things.

This time, I'm the one pulling the strings.

Lights! Camera! Action!

You've never seen anything like the new me before.

And you probably never will again, you bores.

"It's so cute," Christy coos when the song is over. I glance at Austin. He's trying his hardest not to laugh. I don't blame him.

"Listen, Christy," I start to say, but there is a loud bang and the front doors clang open.

"KATIE!" Lauren and Ava shriek. They're both disheveled, their hair is a bit messed up, and they're wearing dark sunglasses, jeans, and rumpled tees.

"What are you guys doing here?" I try to sound calm, but I start to wheeze. I can't breathe.

"We've been looking for you everywhere," Ava says, walking right in, grabbing a carrot stick from an assistant's plate and plopping down on the couch across from ours. She has her Pomeranian, Calou, with her and she puts the dog down and lets her run around the room. She's so wound up she starts doing laps around the coffee table. "You never told us where your photo shoot was today, but we called Gary -- he's outside with Larry -- and they said they followed you here. So here we are! Oh, by the way, Rod-o is in hot water."

That's what they've started calling Rodney. It drives him nuts.

"Why?" I ask. And how the heck were we followed? I didn't see anyone tailing us.

"Rod-o saw Gary and Larry trying to sneak up the private road and he tried to block them from coming up the street. Gary's car
accidentally
hit yours and now Rod is waiting for a tow truck." Ava giggles.

"Oh my God," I blurt out. This is not good. Ava and Lauren are crashing my shoot, the paparazzi are outside and my bodyguard is tied up. Laney isn't here to save me either. Is it hot in here? I grab a napkin off the table and begin fanning myself. Christy looks on in confusion.

"He's fine," Lauren enthuses. "He said to tell you not to let Gary and Larry in and that he'd be here in a jif. Gary wanted to know if you'd come outside and take pictures when you were done," she adds and then she spots Austin. "Hey, A! What's up? I'm Lauren."

"Hi." Austin's voice sounds like steel.

An ear-piercing shriek disrupts the awkward moment. "Lau, Lau, come here and look at these clothes!" Ava is standing at a rack; with sticky fingers from the donut she just grabbed off one of the trays, and is flipping through dresses. I see Christy cringe.

"Excuse me," an assistant says. "Could you be careful with those clothes? They're borrowed and we can't get any stains on them."

Ava ignores her. Instead she gasps. "KATIE, you've got to wear this!" She holds up a one-shoulder Grecian gown that would make me look like a potato sack.

"I have my wardrobe choices all picked out," I say cheerfully, but inside I'm starting to feel sick. I'm sweating. Maybe I've just developed a fever? My breathing is heavy, as if I've just run a marathon. Austin looks at me strangely and I smile weakly. I have to get Ava and Lauren out of here. They'll ruin the shoot. "Could I talk to you for a second?" Ava ignores me.

"OH MY GOD, look at this!" Lauren coos. She's holding up a sheer Rebecca Taylor top and leather skirt. "Ava, I have to try this on! Where is the bathroom?"

"Those clothes are for Kaitlin," a harried assistant insists.

"This will just take a second," Lauren says dismissively. She grabs the outfit, and a donut, the glaze oozing onto the top.

"Lauren, watch that donut!" I yell. My heart is doing double-time. My breathing is even worse. I'm starting to feel dizzy.

She laughs. "This is why they invented dry cleaning. Don't worry about it."

"I'll pay for that," I croak quickly to the stylist.

I get up from the couch and walk over to Ava. I feel dizzy, but I still manage to grab her arm. "You guys are embarrassing me," I tell Ava, embracing the power she always thought I needed. "I think you should leave." I'm proud of myself, but I feel like I'm having a heart attack or like I'm going to faint. Is a person's heartbeat supposed to sound this loud?

Ava rolls her eyes. "Is this any way to treat your friends? Geez, we're there for you time and again when you go loco and now you want to push us out because you have a cover shoot to do? That's rude."

I try to speak, but my throat feels like it's closing. Something is seriously wrong with me. I'm so dizzy, I'm sure I'm going to fall. I reach out and grab the couch for support before my knees buckle under me. This can't be happening. Where is Rodney? Where is Laney or Dad? I do not want
Sure
to think this is the way I roll. I try taking deep breaths to calm myself, but it's not working. I can't get enough air.

"By the way, Katie," Ava says. "We heard your song this morning on KROQ. How come you didn't tell us about it?"

My song. Everyone must have heard it. I'm going to be the laughingstock of the whole town. Suddenly the spacious living room begins to shrink. I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I have to get out of here.

"That dog!" the stylist screeches. "He's peeing on the Jay Godfrey!"

Calou has his little leg lifted and he's relieving himself all over my cover shoot dress. Then he squats and does number two.

Oh. My. God.

Ava scoops him up. "Bad doggy." She giggles. "His pee is tiny. You won't even know it's there when it dries."

"Pick that up," the stylist yells and points to the poop. "Pick that up now."

Lauren comes out of the bathroom wearing the Rebecca Taylor outfit and glares at the stylist. "Geez. Chill. Don't yell at the dog like that."

"Guys, you have to leave," I say more sternly, but quietly, so that I don't make an even bigger scene than there already is. It takes all my energy to get the sentence out. I feel like everyone is far away and I'm in some sort of bubble. Their voices are muffled and I can hear a whooshing sound in my ears. Even if I did assert myself, the girls are still ignoring me.

I hear something shatter and one of the assistants scream. The whizzing in my ears grows louder and I stumble. Austin grabs my arm. I feel so feverish I don't think I can stand on my own.

"Kaitlin, you've got to get Lauren and Ava out of here," he says to me, but he sounds so far away I can barely hear him. I hear him say my name though. Austin never calls me Kaitlin. Ever. That means things must be really bad.

Christy turns to me. "I want your friends out of here now," she says angrily.

"I'm trying," I wheeze. Air. I need air. Someone open a window! I need help. I need Rodney.

"Oooh, are you the reporter?" Ava asks a freaked-out Christy. "Let me tell you everything I know about Katie. We're so tight. We're inseparable. It's like we share the same soul, you know?"

Oh no. "I need ice," I tell Austin, as my body continues to heat up.

"You don't look so good." Austin says.

I feel so sweaty. "They're here," I think I hear him say, but I'm not even sure what that means. The room is starting to fade to black and I can barely make out Austin's face. All I can think about is the disaster in front of me. About that stupid song being on the radio. Christy's questions about
Family Affair
and my future replay in my head. My chest suddenly feels tighter than ever. I try to take a deep breath, but I'm having trouble. I can't breathe. I really can't breathe.

"Something's wrong," I whisper as I start to panic.

The sound of my heartbeat is so loud that I can't hear Austin at all even though he's talking to me. Christy is saying something too. Their faces start to blur. I try to take a deep breath, but I can't. I try grabbing Austin's arm again. He feels so far away. Calou's barking is getting louder. The last thing I think I see are Laney and Rodney running toward me.

Then everything fades to black.

HOLLYWOOD NATION

HOME NEWS STYLE PHOTOS ENTERTAINMENT CELEBRITIES

February 21

BREAKING NEWS:

Kaitlin Burke is rushed to the hospital

Family Affair
star Kaitlin Burke has been admitted to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center this afternoon after collapsing at a cover shoot for
Sure
magazine that was taking place in the Hollywood Hills. "You could hear people screaming," a witness on the scene said. "Ten minutes later, an ambulance and the police arrived and things got chaotic." A caravan of paparazzi and Kaitlin's family and friends---including her distraught boyfriend Austin Meyers and publicist Laney Peters--followed the ambulance to the hospital, where only family members were admitted entrance. While details are still sparse, hospital sources say Kaitlin's condition is not life-threatening. There has yet to be a statement from Kaitlin's camp.

This latest incident caps off an out-of-character few weeks for Kaitlin. Just this morning, KROQ began playing a rough demo of a song supposedly sung by Kaitlin called "Paparazzi Princess." The good girl has also been hitting the club scene and hanging out with notorious party pals Ava Hayden and Lauren Cobb. Both friends were at the shoot with Kaitlin when the incident happened, but neither was allowed into the hospital to see her. (Laney Peters refused their entrance at the door.) "We don't know what happened," said a tearful Ava during an impromptu press conference she gave in front of the hospital. "One minute Kaitlin was laughing and happy, the next she was lying on the floor. All we can do now is pray she's okay."

While
Sure
has yet to comment on what happened, insiders tell us that Kaitlin was upset after Ava and Lauren showed up unannounced and disrupted the shoot. "Those two are terrors and Kaitlin was having a hard time making them leave," said a source. "A few minutes later, Kaitlin collapsed."

Hollywood Nation Online
will continue to update you on the situation as more details become available.

Thirteen: A Clean Slate

I came to a few minutes later, but by that point Laney, Rodney, Austin, and the
Sure
crew were so freaked out that they'd already called an ambulance and were insisting I go to the hospital to be checked out. A few hours later, I'm lying in a bed surrounded by my family and friends. I must have fallen asleep after the battery of tests the doctors ordered, because when I wake up Mom is crying and Dad and Matty are wringing their hands. Nadine is pacing the room in a bridesmaid dress. Rodney is sitting with his head in his hands and Laney and Seth are bickering. Austin is the only one close enough to touch. He's sitting at the edge of my bed watching the commotion around him.

I grab his hand. "Hey." My voice sounds froggy.

Nadine gasps. "She's awake again!"

Mom rushes across the room and knocks Austin out of the way. "How are you, sweetie?" she asks. "I came as soon as I heard." She lets out a little sob. "We were so scared."

"Have the doctors said anything about what happened to me?" I ask nervously. "Did I have a heart attack?" It certainly felt like one. Well, what I would imagine one felt like.