Scars of the Past (19 page)

Josh laughed and hugged me to him. “The doctors said no strenuous activity for ten days.”

I just pouted into his shirt.

Josh put his hands on my shoulders, and moved so I was looking at his face.

“Sarah mentioned you might try to have sex as soon as possible to try to feel ‘normal’ again, Madelyn. If that’s what you’re doing, you don’t have to. We’ll fall back into our own normal easily, I promise.”

I knew he was right, but I didn’t respond. I was so sick of constantly being ‘Maddie the victim’ and was ready to put all of this behind us.

Chapter Twenty-Four

The family room of my mom’s house sounded like a full gymnasium as people argued back and forth with each other, raising their voices to be heard over the next one. The entire time I sat quietly, my face passive, and I just let them all fight it out.

Josh was arguing with Amanda, and as his frustration level rose, so did his voice. Matthew was arguing with Sydney, and she stood up and pointed at him, as if to prove a point. Craig was at the hospital working, and I was thankful to have one less opinion to have to deal with.

Suddenly, my mom stood up, put her fingers into her mouth, and let out a shrill whistle.

“Everybody SHUT UP! If you can’t behave like adults I’m going to put you all in separate corners.”

Her eyes flashed to mine, a small grin on her lips that I returned.

“You can make your opinions be known, but in the end it’s Maddie who decides, so shouting at each other isn’t going to do anything.”

She looked at me, giving me her trademark look. “Madelyn, you need to decide what you want to do.”

Josh sat back down on the floor next to me where he had originally been, grabbing my hand.

“You know my position on it.”

And I did. Josh had talked it to death the night before, telling me how I shouldn’t give in to Tyler Martin’s request, but instead go to trial. Matthew had also inserted his changed opinion how it could just be over and done with and Tyler still wouldn’t get out until he was in his forties, but I spared myself a trial. Sydney and Amanda were also split, everyone having their own opinion on everything. I had to give my answer to the prosecutor by tomorrow, and even though I was pretty decided, my friends and family were not.

Mom was the only one who hadn’t included herself in this, but instead had fed us all, and let us argue well past dessert. I had asked for her opinion once and she told me that her opinion matched mine, whatever it was.

“Well,” I started, trying to find the best way to put this. “I know what you all think, and I want you to know that I love you all. You guys have been through this as much as I have, and I appreciate every second. But, I’m going to agree to his condition and go talk to him so this can be done with.”

Josh tightened the grip on my hand and frowned, but didn’t say anything. Sydney started to say something and I interrupted her.

“If I don’t do this, not only will I have to testify and basically put my entire life out there for everyone to see, but Josh, Sydney, Amanda- you’d all have to testify too.  I want to be done; I want to live my life. I don’t want to be dragged through the news, have my character smeared, or spend the next six months of my life dealing with this.”

My mom stood, clapping her hands together once. “And that’s that. She’s decided. You all leave her alone.” She started gathering dessert plates and taking them to the kitchen.

Nobody spoke for a few moments, and suddenly Sydney was up, mumbling about the restroom. Amanda ducked out of the room to take a phone call, and Matthew went to grab another beer.

Josh and I sat unmoving from our spot on the floor, and I turned to look at him. He just looked back at me, his face neutral.

“Are you mad?”

He didn’t respond for a moment, and then he trailed a hand over my cheek, pushing my hair back as he so often did. “No, I couldn’t be mad. Your mom is right- this is your decision, and I support you no matter what.” He paused for a moment. “Can I be there with you?”

“I was hoping you would be.” I gave him a kiss, and we sat quietly until Matthew walked back in. It was still fairly awkward between Josh and Matthew, but I hoped they could get back to where they were. A safe topic was picked, football, and they both started discussing the Super Bowl game that had been played while I was in the hospital. I took advantage of the moment and excused myself to the kitchen.

Mom was in there doing the dishes, and I stepped up next to her to help.

“You’re pretty brave, kid. I’m so proud of you.” She handed me a plate to dry before washing the next one.

“I don’t know. I just want it to be done. Is that selfish?”

She shook her head, passing me another one. “Not at all. But even if it was, you deserve to be a little selfish right now.” She reached up with a sudsy hand and gently touched my face where the bruises were lightening up.

We didn’t say anything else, but finished the dishes side by side.

Josh drove all four of us back to the apartment in silence, and then he helped me get showered and ready for bed.

“Once I get the stitches out, you won’t be required for this anymore. “ I pushed my arms through the shirt as he brought it over my head.

“I don’t mind. It’s just another excuse to get you naked.”  He winked and grabbed the comb to pull through my hair.

We got into bed, and tried to maneuver so that we were both comfortable around my cast. Over the past few days, Josh had been hit with it more than he liked, although he never complained. I suggested once that we sleep separately so he could get a good night’s sleep, and he looked like I had suggested that I should shave my head.

On Friday, I was so nervous that I felt like I was going to be sick.

After calling Detective Wilson Thursday morning and telling her my decision, she had called back only an hour later to let me know that we were going to do the face-to-face immediately after he was done with court.

The thought of confronting the man that had filled my nightmares for months made me want to vomit. I didn’t eat anything that morning, and I tried to hide from my roommates just how bad my hands were trembling.

Josh had taken the day off work to go with me, and he helped me get showered and dressed. I tried to button up the plumb colored blouse on my own, but doing it one handed while shaking wasn’t working so he stepped in. He also helped me pull up and zip the knee-length black skirt, but I shooed him away and told him I could manage my knee-high stockings on my own.

I stood in front of the mirror and attempted to straighten my hair, but Sydney came to my rescue and finished it for me, along with my make-up.

“There’s not much I can do about your eye, babe. No amount of cover up is going to cover this.”

I just shrugged and stared at my reflection. The last of the purple was fading, and the bruises were mainly blue, some yellow, as they healed.

“I don’t care. Let him see what he did.”

I stepped into my heels and walked into the living room where Josh was putting his winter coat over his suit jacket. He held my long trench coat as I struggled to get it over my cast, and once I had it on he turned me so I was facing him.

“It’s going to be fine, sweetheart. Take a deep breath.”

I gave him a shaky smile, and pulled him to me by his tie. We kissed for a moment before he broke us apart, a grin on his face.

“We’ll never get out of here that way. Let’s go.”

Josh drove us to the court house, and we grabbed a seat in the very back row. When they brought in Tyler I slid into Josh, hoping not to be seen, but he didn’t even look our way. Instead of wearing a jump suit like I had imagined, he was dressed in black suit.

The judge walked into the room, and we all stood before she sat and got right to business.

“It is our understanding that a plea agreement has been reached between the State of California and Tyler S. Martin, is that correct?”

Both his lawyer and Christina Walton spoke in agreement. “Yes, your honor.”

“Okay. Mr. Martin, you wish to change your plea from not guilty to guilty in the matters of rape, attempted rape, felony sexual battery, and battery causing serious bodily injury, is that correct?”

He rose from his seat. “Yes, your honor.”

“And you know that by pleading guilty you’ll be subject to fifteen years in the correctional facility, without the possibility of parole.”

“Yes, your honor.”

“Have all of the conditions of the plea bargain been met?”

The prosecutor cleared her throat. “Yes, your honor. We have one last thing to do after this hearing, but you have my word as an officer of the court that it will happen.” 

“Very well. Then Tyler S. Martin, I hereby find you guilty of rape in the second degree, attempted rape, felony sexual battery, and battery causing serious bodily injury. I sentence you to fifteen years in California State Prison.” She banged her gavel. “Next case.”

The prosecutor walked over to his lawyer and they had an exchange before he nodded his head in agreement. The court officers took Tyler out the side door and his lawyer followed behind.

I saw Christina turn and say something to two people who had been sitting behind her and I recognized them to be Detectives Bradley and Wilson. The three of them began to walk down the aisle together when Detective Bradley noticed me in the back. He gestured for Josh and me to follow, so we got up and walked out of the courtroom.

We stood outside the door, and Christina spoke first. “He’s been taken to a meeting room down the hall. His lawyer will be in there, as well as two correctional officers. Don’t worry though, he’s handcuffed.”

Her eyes darted to Josh. “Are you coming in Mr. Richards?”

He nodded at the same time I did. “Yes, she’s not going in there without me.” He had our coats draped over one arm, and curled his other around my waist.

“Very well, let’s go.”

When we reached the door to the meeting room, I was visibly trembling. Josh handed our coats to Detective Bradley and put both of his hands on my cheeks, ducking a little so his face was directly in front of mine.

“Madelyn, he cannot hurt you, so do not give him the pleasure of intimidating you, okay? I’ll be right by your side the whole time.”

I nodded and inhaled the deepest breath I could. “Let’s get this over with.”

He was seemingly satisfied and he straightened up, taking the coats back.

Christina eyeballed Josh for a moment.

“He’s going to try to piss you off Mr. Richards, but I think it’s best if you remain silent, got it?”

Josh didn’t answer for a long moment, and then gave a chin jerk that said he agreed.

The prosecutor opened the door to the meeting room and stepped in, Detective Wilson going after her, but Detective Bradley gestured for us to go before him.

I walked into the room slowly, and he was sitting on one side of a long table, directly in the middle of it.

He had loosened his red tie, and although he looked clean, he also looked scruffier than the last time I’d seen him, and he had a fading black eye where I assumed Josh had hit him. His nose showed signs of obvious breakage because it was even more crooked than the last time I had seen him. His hands were up on the table, clasped together with handcuffs still around his wrists, and one of his knuckles had light bruises similar to my face.  There were two officers standing behind him, and his lawyer sitting on his left.

His face upturned into a familiar grin when I walked in, but he didn’t say anything. Detective Wilson guided me to the chair directly across from him, and Josh sat on my left, my good hand held in his tightly under the table. The prosecutor sat to my right, across from his lawyer, with the Detectives flanking behind us.

“Mr. Martin. As agreed upon, you have ten minutes.” Christina glanced at her watch and settled back into her chair.

No one spoke for several long moments, as he and I continued to have a stare down. Finally, he broke the silence.

“Hello Maddie.”

I closed my eyes for a couple of heartbeats, the sound of him saying my name was sickening. When I opened them he was smirking, loving that he was able to affect me so much.

I cleared my throat, and tried to make my voice as strong and firm as it could be.

“Hello Tyler.”

He let out a little moan, and his eyes drifted shut for a moment.

“Now that sounds good coming from your lips. Maybe I should have told you my name the first time we met so it could have fallen off your lips when I was inside of you, huh?”

Josh’s hand crushed my own, and I could feel him tense beside me as my cheeks heated in shame.

“Oh, boyfriend doesn’t like that. Sorry
boyfriend
.” His eyes flashed to Josh briefly before they were back on me. “You look very pretty today, even with your face looking like that. Did it hurt?”

He waited for me to answer, and when I didn’t he glanced at my wrist on the table. “I know that one hurt, I heard the sad cry when it happened. You know, if you had just cooperated I never would have hurt you right?”

He closed his eyes, and a serene smile came over his face. “The noises you made when you came on my fingers have been a part of my dreams every night. I so looked forward to hearing that again. Maybe even having a taste…”

He trailed off, but that smile stayed on his face. My stomach churned uneasily, and I had to force myself not to look away from him. Josh’s grip on my hand was almost painful, and I wasn’t sure he even realized how tightly he was squeezing.

I shook my head, and frowned at him. “There were so many other people, readily available and willing to have sex that night. Why me?”

He opened his eyes and rolled them. “I wanted you the second you stepped on the dance floor, and we both know you wanted me too. I could tell you were just timid.”

He paused, and dropped his voice to an exaggerated whisper. “Maddie, you forget that I heard the noises you made before you ever even thought to say no.”

My face felt ablaze, and I couldn’t hold his eyes anymore as I looked down at the table.

He laughed, and that one laugh sounded more sinister than any laugh you hear in the movies.

“I had no idea when I picked you friend up at that bar that it would lead me back to you. I have noticed her a few times while I was out, but I regret not going back with her sooner.”

I glanced over at his lawyer, who was clicking his pen, looking undeniably bored with the goings on.

“When I turned around and saw you standing there, wearing nothing but a t-shirt and those amazing panties, it was like I had been given a present. The very girl I’d spent months looking for, fantasizing about when I fucked other women, was right in front of me.“

“I am sorry that I had to hurt you that last night, but running from me was stupid when I told you I wouldn’t hurt you as long as you did as I said. I didn’t hurt your friend, right? I spent the whole night with her.”

I finally looked back up at him and scowled. “She wanted to have sex, and that’s her choice. I didn’t want to have sex with you either time. Don’t try to place the blame on me, because you would still be a free man if you just learned what the word ‘no’ meant.”

He leaned forward across the table, as far as he could go, and it took everything I had not to flinch back.

“And you wouldn’t be the scared little bitch you are now, would you? Do you have nightmares about me, Maddie? Do you look for me in crowds? Do dark areas frighten you?”

I just stared at him for a moment, his breathing was heavy, and I had a feeling he was enjoying this in more ways than one.

“No, Tyler. I’m not scared. I’m going to live my life knowing that you’re locked up here, while I’m out there moving on from all this.”

“You’ll always remember the feeling of my dick inside you, don’t try to deny it.”

I stood from the table, a smile on my lips as I stared at him. “I’ve already forgotten.”