Chapter Ten
“Chris, did you finish your math homework?” Kiersten called out, drying her hands on a dishrag. Tossing the dirty cloth in a basket, she headed into the dining room where Chris always did his homework. “Just because your teacher lives with us now doesn’t mean you don’t have to study.”
“I know,” he said.
“See here?” Garrett pointed at the paper Chris was bent over. “This is where you went wrong. Remember in class how we talked about variables?”
Chris let out a frustrated breath. “Yeah…”
“Well, you missed one completely. Look again,” Garrett urged.
Chris nibbled on the end of his pencil, eyebrows furrowed. Garrett waited patiently, the picture perfect example of a loving father—except he wasn’t his father. Hell, she wasn’t even his
mother
.
Chris had adjusted to having Garrett around quite quickly. It became obvious to her that Chris had hungered for a father figure
more than he’d let on. Garrett had given Chris what she hadn’t even known Chris had been missing. Yet another thing for her to admire about him. The list kept getting longer and longer.
She sat down on the other side of Chris and studied the problem he worked on.
Yep, gibberish.
“Wait, I think I see it,” Chris said, pointing at the paper and then glancing at Garrett. “Here, right? It should be a six.”
“Excellent,” Garrett said, slapping Chris on the back. “Great job.”
Chris didn’t even crack a smile. “Yeah. I get it now. You can go back to whatever you were doing before. I’m done now, I think.”
“I’ll be over here doing the dishes if you see anything else wrong.”
“All right.” Chris finished the problem and leaned back in his chair, shooting both of them an oddly adult-like look. “So, do I get to call you Garrett at school now? Since you’re basically my stepdad?”
“No.” Garrett grinned. “But nice try.”
“Why don’t you two share a room? Or become a real couple? I mean, you must’ve liked each other enough to, well, ya know.” His lips pursed. “I don’t get it. Why lie?”
Kiersten almost fell off the stool. Hello, subject change. “Uh…”
“We’re not that kind of couple,” Garrett said. “That’s all. We’re better off as friends.”
“But why? You’re having a baby. Living here. But in different rooms?” Chris studied them both, his nose crinkled up. “It’s even weirder than
Modern Family
. What will my friends say if they found out? What if they come over and see you two in different rooms? It’s
weird
.”
Kiersten looked at Garrett with a sense of panic creeping up her spine. “It might be weird, but it’s who we are now.”
“I won’t be shocked if you at least share a room. I am thirteen, you know,” Chris said. “I’d prefer normal to…this.”
“Well, we’re not
together
, so we can’t,” Kiersten explained, smoothing her hair. It was the first time she had seen her commitment issues through Chris’s eye, and the experience was unsettling. “We’re going to live together and raise the baby together, but we’re not a couple.”
Garrett nodded. “We’re excellent friends, so we’re making it work this way.”
“Well, that sounds dumb,” Chris said, looking first at Kiersten, and then at Garrett. “Why can’t you just be a couple like normal people? Or he can live somewhere else, if you can’t do that.”
Kiersten paled, her heart wrenching at his oh-so-simple, yet painful, request. Lately, she’d been wondering the same thing. Why couldn’t she let him into her life as more than a friend? “I—we…you see, we’re just not there.”
And probably never would be because of her.
Garrett looked away from her, his jaw tight. “Sometimes, no matter how much you care about someone, it just doesn’t work.”
“If you say so.” Chris nodded, but looked at them both with doubt clear in his eyes. “So are you two going to date other people, or what?”
Man, the kid was full of questions tonight. Questions she had been doing her best to avoid. “Maybe,” Kiersten said.
“No,” Garrett replied at the same time.
Chris shook his head. “You two are confusing. I’m gonna go watch
How I Met Your Mother
, and then take a shower.” He motioned between them with his finger. “You two need to get your act together.”
Kiersten choked on a laugh. “I feel like I’m the kid here.”
“You’re acting like it,” Chris said, sounding way too old for his years. “But anyway, are you coming?”
She swallowed hard. “Yeah. Pause it for me so I don’t miss it, okay?”
“Sure,” Chris agreed. Turning to Garrett, he hesitated. “Do you like that show?”
“Yeah, I love it. Barney reminds me of your Uncle Mike.”
Chris gave a small laugh. “Yeah, I can see that. If he’s Barney, then you’re Ted.”
Kiersten tried not to crack up—but failed. Yeah, if Garrett matched anyone’s personality on that show…it would definitely be Ted. Always the optimistic man, looking for love and happiness.
Garrett arched a brow. “And what would that make your mom? Lilly?”
“No,” Chris said. “Definitely Robin. She doesn’t like love and relationships any more than Robin does.”
Kiersten looked away. She had known she wasn’t the easiest person to get close to but she never thought how that might make her appear to Chris. He headed into the living room and Kiersten stood with her back to Garrett.
He came up behind her, close enough she could feel him but not touching. “What’s wrong?”
“My nephew thinks I’m an emotionally scarred failure,” she said. She turned around and came face to face with his chest. He was that close. She fought the urge to back away from him
again
. “And he’s right. I’m Robin.”
Garrett grunted. “Oh, honey, you can’t get upset over him calling you Robin. You’re a loving, smart, magnificent woman who I…” He broke off, clamping his jaw. “…I admire. And when we—”
Kiersten pressed a finger to his mouth. “Don’t say anything else. Just meet me in my room later tonight, after he goes to bed. We need to talk about some stuff in private.”
Chris was right. She needed to step up and stop being so damn scared. She needed to put herself out there again, and trust in Garrett enough to believe he wouldn’t hurt her like Pete had. It couldn’t be that hard…could it?
“Okay.” Garrett pressed his lips together, stepping away from her. She immediately missed his warmth. She could tell he was nervous about what she had to say to him. With reason, since she usually pushed him away. For once, she was determined to pull him closer. Chris deserved better from her—and so did Garrett. “Ready to go watch the show?”
“Sure,” Kiersten agreed, following him into the living room.
All throughout the show, she plastered a smile on and laughed at the appropriate moments, but didn’t hear a single joke. Instead, she couldn’t shake the feeling that, not too far from now, she might push Garrett away so far that he would never come back. That idea terrified her more than she cared to admit.
By the time the show was finished, she was a ball of nerves. Garrett kept stealing little glances at her, his brow creased. Once Chris went up to shower, he turned to her. “Let’s talk now. The waiting is killing me. What’s wrong? Is this about what Chris said earlier?”
She flinched at his hard tone. He was expecting the worst out of her and she didn’t blame him one bit. Even after deciding to let him closer no more than a few minutes ago, she already doubted that choice. Doubted herself and her stupid feelings. “Yes.”
“Okay. What is it?” He rose to his feet and paced in front of her. “You know what, don’t even tell me. I already know what you’re going to say. You’re going to ask me to leave, like he said. If we can’t be together, than I shouldn’t be here at all. That’s it, right?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Then what is it?” He stopped pacing. “What do you want from me?”
She crossed her arms. They weren’t having this discussion in public, where Chris could come along. But was that really her issue? Or did she just want to stall? “Not here.”
He reached down, grabbed her hand, and practically dragged her up the stairs to her room. Once inside, he shut the door and locked it. Then, he turned the TV on and cranked up the volume. “There. He won’t hear a thing. Now spill it.”
Now that the time had come, she was having second thoughts. Again. When would this fear stop crippling her? When would she move on with her life, and stop living in the past? “I want to…”
Unable to say the words, she launched herself at him, hoping her actions could say the words she couldn’t seem to form. Closing her hands around the back of his neck, she yanked him down and crushed his lips to hers. For a brief second, she thought he would push her away. His hands hung at his sides, not touching her. Then, he let out a groan and grabbed her hips, backing her toward the bed.
She bit back a victory yell, letting him lead her. As soon as her legs hit the mattress, she spun and shoved him down on the bed. He blinked up at her, and she straddled him before he could move. He closed his hands around her waist, and flexed his jaw. “Is this what you wanted from me, Kiersten?”
“Yes.” And no. Of course she wanted more, but for now, this need seemed more urgent. They could talk later, after this hunger eating her alive was fed. She reached down and grabbed his hands, trapping them on either side of his head. She brushed against his erection, the hard length of him sending pleasure jolting through her blood. “And I know you want it, too. I can feel it.”
He arched his hips against her, looking almost as if he didn’t want to. “I do. But I also want more. I want to be more.”
“I know. I just can’t…”
say the words
. “I want…
you
. I want this. Us. Together.”
There. She’d told him what she wanted. That wasn’t so hard.
She cupped his face tenderly, like he always did to her, and lowered her face. His eyes drifted shut, and then his mouth was on hers. And his hands were everywhere. His tongue probed her mouth, finding hers without a second of wasted breath. His fingers slid into her hair, holding her still as he ravished her mouth. But he didn’t need to hold her still. There was nowhere else she’d rather be right now.
She broke free of his mouth, nibbled a path down his neck, and bit down on his shoulder. He hissed and arched his neck, giving her better access. His hands slid down her back, over the curve of her butt, and around her thighs. From there, he went up her stomach and grasped her breasts. They were so sensitive and painful that she almost pushed him away.
But it didn’t hurt. It felt freaking amazing.
He seemed to know she might be sore. He gently clasped her, and asked, “Is this okay? I don’t want to hurt you.”
How did he know about that? Oh. The
book
. “It’s fine. Just don’t stop.”
Grasping his hair, she slammed her mouth down on his, conveying without words that she wouldn’t break if he touched her. He was holding himself back, and she didn’t want that. She wanted all of him.
He moaned into her mouth and rolled her beneath him, cradling his weight on either side of her. His arms were wrapped around her tight, and she felt safe. Loved. It was a new feeling, and one that both frightened and thrilled her. She fought down her usual instinct to push him back and take control. To break free of his hold.
The only man she had let have control in bed was Garrett. In the past, she had always needed to be the one holding the reins. With him, it felt good to let go. To let someone else make the decisions. He slid his hands down her leg and pressed his fingers against her heat. She rolled her hips against him, begging for more.
He seemed to get the message. He undid her jeans, which were starting to get too tight around the waist, and rolled them down her legs. Her panties quickly followed, and soon she was nearly naked. When she was clothed in nothing but her bra, she shielded her belly with her hand. She was getting bigger. She might only be a few months in, but she felt like an elephant already.
He frowned and yanked her hands away from her stomach. “Don’t do that. That’s my baby in there. And you’re beautiful.”
“But—”
He kissed her into silence, then pulled back. He turned the TV up even louder, drowning out any noise they might make. “No
buts
. Now shut up and kiss me again.”
“Yes, sir.”
As their tongues entwined, she undid his pants. He helped her, and then yanked his shirt over his head. He sat back on his haunches, his eyes eating up every inch of her body. “I don’t have a condom,” he gritted. “Do you?”
“Yeah, but…” She was already pregnant, so they didn’t need to worry about that, obviously. She hesitated. She’d never done this without protection. Not even with Pete. Those trust issues, again. “Are you clean?”
He froze. “I am.”
“Then we don’t need one.”
He swallowed hard. “Are you sure? I’ve never…”
“Me either.” She opened her arms. “Now shut up and kiss me.”
His mouth melded to hers, soft and gentle. As if he was afraid he would scare her off. He kissed a path down her neck and over the curve of her breasts. He flicked his tongue over her nipple through her sheer bra, but didn’t suck it into his mouth. She gulped in a breath as he kissed a path down her stomach and over her hip. He nipped her inner thigh and then lifted her legs over his shoulders.
Her stomach quickened in anticipation of his lips touching her. She needed him. Now. Tilting her upward, he closed his mouth around her clit. The blood rushed out of her head and centered on her middle. On what he was doing with his tongue.
She groaned and tightened her legs on his head, not wanting to let him go. Not wanting him to ever stop. Reaching down, she grasped his erection and squeezed. He groaned and rocked his hips, urging her on. When he scraped his teeth against her and shoved a finger inside of her, she squeezed her eyes tight. Stars burst in front of her, and her whole body shuddered from the force of her orgasm.