She studied him, her eyes intent on his face. He swore he saw something that looked like regret cross her features but he must have imagined it. What would she have to regret? He stared back at her with what he hoped was a calm, collected expression on his face. He could only pray his tension wasn’t showing.
“You make it sound so simple,” she mumbled. She turned away from him and traced an invisible pattern on the table. Probably 911 because she was panicking right now. He could see it in her eyes. “So you would be a father figure to Chris? Be there to help him with homework and play basketball—but not want anything else from me? No strings or feelings involved?”
He flinched, but quickly smoothed his features over. She didn’t need to know how hard it would be to follow through with that last part. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
She faced him again, nibbling on her lower lip. “What if you find some woman you want to sleep with? I don’t want whores hanging around the house with Chris or our baby, once it’s here.”
“
Never
. I won’t bring anyone home unless it’s serious,” he promised. “Like, marriage, serious. I care about that kid, Kiersten. I saw what Pete’s leaving did to him, too. I won’t do anything to hurt him.”
“Marriage,” she squeaked, turning an odd shade of green. “Are you planning to get married to someone sometime soon?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said, shaking his head. But the way she tightened her hands on the edge of the table and narrowed her eyes on him gave him pause. She looked ready to flip out. And she definitely looked jealous. “You know what I meant.”
“You
swear
you won’t ask me for more, or abandon us?”
He held his hand to his heart. “I do.”
“Fine. We’ll try it out,” she agreed hesitantly. She avoided his eyes. “But you need to be there for Chris, one hundred percent. He won’t be happy at first.” She pointed a finger at his chest. “And you better not break your promise. No one hurts my kid and gets away with it.”
“I won’t.”
“Yeah. That’s what they all say.” She cleared her throat and continued before he could reply. “When do you want to do this? The last month?”
Right now
. “Is tomorrow good for you?” he asked.
“What? No way.” Her gaze swung back to him. “I think the last month would be best.”
“Nope.”
She wrung her hands in front of her. “The end of the school year?”
“Not acceptable.”
“Why do you need to move in so fast? We have
months
before the baby comes.”
“But Chris is there now. I want to give him time to get used to me being there before the baby comes. Time to be the only child in our little family, so to speak.”
He could see he’d won her over with that one even before she nodded. “Fine. Next month it is.”
“Nice try. I already rejected that one.” He crossed his arms. “Next week.”
She pursed her lips and eyed him. “I can see you’re going to be stubborn about this.”
“Very,” he agreed. He tapped his fingers on the table. “I want to be there for you. For Chris. And for our baby—during the pregnancy and after. I have a right to be part of all of it, Kiersten. You know that.”
Her face fell, and she dropped her head to hide from his view. “Ugh. Fine,” she said grudgingly. “What will you do with this place?”
He cast a quick glance around him. “I’ll take care of that on my own, don’t worry. Ready to shake on our agreement?”
He held his hand out as far as it would reach.
“This is a bad idea.” She slowly stretched and shook his hand.
He fought back the grin tugging at his lips. “Nah. It might just be the best idea I ever had.”
She rolled her eyes and backed away from him. The chase was on.
Chapter Five
Kiersten opened the door with shaking hands. In two days, Garrett was moving in, and they hadn’t told a single person yet. D-Day approached at rapid speed, and she didn’t have a single defense strategy in place yet. Didn’t know what to do to keep a safe distance from a man who tried to get closer with every word he said. This wasn’t exactly the scenario she would have picked but she also understood Garrett’s desire to be a part of the pregnancy. She remembered how Brianna’s first husband had behaved awaiting the birth of his children. He wanted to be part of every tiny thing—every kick, every doctor’s appointment, every moment.
She also remembered her own father and how he wanted almost nothing to do with fatherhood, especially since her mother was dissatisfied with any attempt he made.
Garrett wanted to be part of the baby’s life. And even if Kiersten had to compromise on the living situation, she couldn’t bring herself to discourage his interest. He was a good man, and he’d be an even better father…
…and partner? Sure. But not
that
kind. Strictly platonic. She couldn’t trust her feelings around him. Around any man, really. The whole disastrous situation with Pete had helped confirm that.
Still, having Garrett in her house would be torture. Seeing him every day would only remind her what she could have had, if only things had played out differently. If only she hadn’t pushed him away…
If only she wasn’t so scared to let him into her heart.
She swung the door open and nearly swallowed her tongue. Garrett stood on the doorstep wearing nothing but a pair of black basketball shorts, a hell of a set of abs, and an iPod. Yep. Torture. Sweat glistened on his skin, especially on his shoulders where he was inked, and she ached to trace the lines of his tattoos with her tongue.
Ew
. Where the hell had that come from? And since when were sweaty men sexy to her?
Since Garrett showed up on her doorstep all sweaty. That’s when.
He yanked the buds out of his ears and grinned at her. “I decided to take a jog here from the gym instead of driving my truck. Hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course not. But are you wearing that to Brianna’s?” She forced her attention north, toward his face. She also made her tone go neutral, as if seeing him like this didn’t knock the breath out of her lungs. “You’re practically naked.”
He cocked his head. “I brought a bunch of my clothes here last night, remember? I’m trying to get as many of the little things out of my apartment as I can before the big move.”
No
. “Oh. Right.”
He chuckled and pressed a hot, sweaty hand to her stomach. “It’s the baby. It’s called pregnancy brain.”
His touch burned and made her ache for him to creep that hand a little lower. Ugh. Here he was being a good father to their unborn baby, and she was ready to jump on him and ride him until neither one of them could move. That’s exactly why this baby was here. Her impulsive behavior around Garrett. “P-Pregnancy what?”
He dropped his hand off of her stomach. “Pregnancy brain. It’s a legit thing. All of your brainpower goes to making our baby grow. You become forgetful.”
Her jaw dropped so freaking low it must have hit her chest. “How do you know that?”
“I’ve been reading the books. Especially
What to Expect When You’re Expecting
. Haven’t you? Do you have a copy? If not, I can get you one.”
“No. I don’t.” She waved a hand in front of her face. “But I don’t need one. I’ll get it sometime soon.”
He studied her with his bright blue eyes looking far too serious. Since when did he act so damn…grown up? He made her feel like she was slacking or something. Was she supposed to be reading books already? “Okay. I’m going to go hop in the guest shower, and then I’ll be ready to go.”
She watched him head across the room, his muscles flexing as he walked. Good God, the man was perfect. Why had she agreed to keep her hands to herself? She cleared her throat and her thoughts, but the latter was a lot harder to do with him standing there looking so irresistible. “Remember the story?”
He stiffened. “Yes. I came along because your car was making a funny noise, and I wanted to see if I could figure out why.”
“Good.”
He turned back to her with his hand gripping the banister so tightly his knuckles were showing. “You do realize we’ll have to tell them eventually, right? I’m moving in on Saturday. Mike might notice I’m not at my place. And there’s a slight possibility that Chris just might notice me in the bathroom every morning. Just sayin’.”
She rubbed her forehead. “Don’t remind me. What if he gets upset? What if he hates me for sleeping with his coach?”
Garrett shrugged. “Then he hates us. Teenagers spend most of their time hating their parents. You’d better get used to it.”
Their parents
. The way he said that make her heart melt. He’d already accepted Chris as his child, and was planning on the future. “He never hated me before.”
“
He’d be acting like a teenager. Give it time.” He grinned. “But in the meanwhile…we need to
tell
him.”
She knew that. Obviously. She just wanted her family to see him one more time before she broke the news. “I know. This is the first step in telling them. I have it all planned out.”
Brianna would be happy for her, of course, but she wanted one last informal meeting before she spilled the news. So Garrett would be fresh in her mind.
And Chris? Well, she could only hope he understood.
But she didn’t even want to think about Mike’s reaction. At all. He’d flip the heck out.
“All right.” He jogged up the steps two at a time. At the top, he turned back to face her. “We’re going to be okay. You know that, right?”
No. Not at all.
“Of course.”
He nodded and disappeared. He was always trying to make her feel better, and sometimes he succeeded. But this time she was beyond help. She was out in deep water without a paddle. This whole situation was a perfect wreck in a perfect storm. She busied herself with straightening up the kitchen…and did her best to pretend she wasn’t picturing him naked in the shower.
An hour later, they were pulling up to Brianna’s house in Kiersten’s supposedly noisy car. Garrett had scowled the whole way there, but she had done her best to ignore him. He didn’t like the lies and games. She knew that. But soon it would be over and everyone would know her brother’s best friend had knocked her up.
And even better?
That they weren’t even in a relationship of any form.
Not even lovers or friends with benefits. They were a one-night deal. One night that ended in a baby and him being her platonic roommate. Heck, he didn’t even want her anymore, according to him. Just like that.
Poof
. Gone. It kind of stung. She’d been blindsided when he blurted out that he could easily love her, but then he’d just as quickly snatched those words back before she could even think about the meaning behind them.
She wasn’t sure exactly how she felt about it…but she knew she didn’t like it. Or the way she reacted to him every time he touched her. Feelings were unreliable and not to be trusted. And she couldn’t trust herself, either. Pete had proved that to her.
“You okay?” Garrett asked. His brow wrinkled up as he parked in front of Brianna’s house. “You’re being quiet.”
She fidgeted with her purse strap. “I’m just nervous. After tonight, it’ll be all the more real.”
Garrett hopped out of the car and came around to open her door for her. He lowered his sunglasses and placed both hands on either side of her. “Honey? It’s already real. You have my baby inside of you, and in a few months? It’ll be in our home.”
Our home
. It sounded so…so domestic. And normal. “I know. But you’re the only one who knows right now. What if something is wrong? What if the baby isn’t healthy? What if there’re six babies in my stomach right now instead of one? What if—?”
“Stop it,” he cut in, his tone hard. When she stopped talking and blinked at him in surprise—he never, ever raised his voice to her—he brushed her hair off of her cheek tenderly. “Now that I’ve got you quiet, let me say this. You are fine. The baby is fine. Chris will be fine, even if it takes some time.
We
are fine. Stop worrying about what everyone will think.”
She shook her head. “I’m not.”
“Aren’t you?” He gave her a level look. “Because I think that’s what all of this is coming from. Not fear that something’s wrong. I’m sure you have that, of course. But I also think you’re worried what Mike will say. And Brianna. And how Chris will react.”
Kiersten blinked back tears. He was right. Damn him. He was always right, except for one thing. He seemed to think she was worth believing in…and he was wrong. She’d only let him down in the end. “Aren’t you a little bit worried? It can’t all be me.”
“Hell yeah. But I already told my boss, and he’s fine with it.”
She stiffened. “You
told
him?”
“Yeah, I did.” He frowned at her. “I’m not the type to hide it until I forget it exists. It’s real.”
“I know it is,” she snapped. “But what if they tell Mike before we do?”
“The school board isn’t going to gossip about the love life of a teacher.” He glanced over his shoulder at the house. “They’re fine with it. The only thing we have to worry about now, besides your family, is the basketball team.”
“You mean their parents?”
His shoulders sagged. “Yeah. Their parents.”
“They’ll say you favor Chris.” She took a deep breath, images playing out in her mind. “Chris is going to be benched because they’ll be jealous of him and you living together. Of you being his dad. He’s already got his uncle coaching him. Now he’ll have you, too.”
He laid his hands on her shoulders. “I won’t bench him. If it comes down to it, I’ll step down as coach until he’s in high school.”
What? Quit? He loved that team. Loved coaching. It was the joy of his life. Yet here he was, saying he would quit for Chris. “You’d do that for him?”
“I’d do anything for you guys. You’re my family now. If that’s what I need to do?” He shrugged. “I’ll do it. But I don’t think it’ll come to that.”
Her heart softened toward him even more than it already had, and she swayed toward him. Warning bells went off in her head when his lids drifted shut. As if… She stiffened and scooted back on the seat again. Where it was safer. No kissing. No affection. Platonic. “I hope not. I don’t want you to be forced to quit.”
A brief look of disappointment lit his eyes, but it left just as quickly as it came. “And I don’t want Chris to suffer because we’re a couple now.” He held his hand up when she opened her mouth. “Yes, I know we’re not really one. But it’s easier to just say we are to all the other parents. Don’t you think?”
She hesitated. It did make more sense than spending twenty minutes explaining their situation. “I guess. But I won’t lie to Chris. We’re always honest with each other, even if we don’t want to be.”
“Neither will I. I live by the honesty policy, too.” He squeezed her thighs. “Now stop worrying and get up. Time to go inside.”
“I’ll try not to.” She grabbed his hands, which were still on her legs, and squeezed tight. Even though she knew she should keep her mouth shut, she found herself saying, “What would I do without you?”
“You’ll never have to find out,” he said, his voice raw. And for once? She wanted to believe him. Wanted to trust him and put herself on the line. Dangerous thoughts. “I promise.”
She bit down on her lower lip, fighting back the words that wanted to come out. Words she wasn’t ready to say…and probably never would be. He’d always been her rock—and she’d always taken him for granted. It was time she stopped doing that. “Do you know what? I
almost
believe you. You make me
want
to believe you.”
To anyone else, that might sound like an insult. But Garrett knew exactly how hard it was for her to admit that weakness. And he knew it was a miracle. His eyes flashed at her, and for a second she saw behind the calm mask he’d been wearing in front of her. Leaning in, he brushed his lips across her forehead so softly that she almost thought she had imagined it.
When she leaned in closer, he pulled back. “By the time this baby comes out, I’ll make sure you trust me completely. Not just a little bit.”
He stepped back and helped her out of the car with gentle hands. He lingered over her slightly fuller stomach for a few seconds, then dropped his hold on her. She tried to remind herself that trusting him would be stupid. Sure, he’d never done anything to deserve her distrust…but eventually all relationships went to hell. Even the “perfect” ones, as she’d once thought her engagement to Pete had been. It was only a matter of time.
If she wanted this…whatever they had…to work out between them, for them to be some sort of weird, modern family, then they needed to keep a relationship out of this. Then they wouldn’t fail, and her baby would have his father in his life.
“Ready?” she asked all too cheerily, stepping out of his arms.
He nodded. “Yep. Did Mike bring Chris?”
“Yeah.”
Mike came out the door, hopped down the steps and strode down the walkway. “Are you two ever coming in, or did you plan on a picnic?”
“Maybe.” Garrett grinned. “Would it get us away from you? Because if so, I’m in.”
Mike laughed and clapped him on the back. “You can’t escape me so easily.”
“I know.”
Mike laughed again and led Garrett toward the house. They were ribbing each other, but she couldn’t make out all the words they spoke. Something about Garrett being a pansy. A twinge pinged in her chest, reminding her how close these two were. Would that change when she told everyone that she was pregnant with Garrett’s child? Would Mike hate Garrett because of her?
God, she hoped not.
Garrett looked over his shoulder at her, a smile on his mouth. His eyes were dancing and he looked so…happy. It came so easily to him. She gave him a reassuring smile and sped up. He wanted to make sure she was okay. She wasn’t at all, but she could pretend. For him. If he knew how much of a wreck she was right now, he would be hauling her back to the car for another lecture. And then she’d probably end up kissing him just to shut him up…