Laura.
She sat in her usual spot, picking at a salad, not looking particularly happy with either herself, or her lunch choice. Sitting beside her was Patrick, his trusty PSP games console in hand, his mind clearly focused on whatever galaxy or monster he was destroying at that moment in time.
Neither noticed as Jodie took it upon herself to walk over and take the seat directly to Patrick’s right, one seat away from sitting next to her friend. It was only when Patrick acknowledged her with a
“Hi Jodie,” that Laura realized she was there at all. Both girls froze for a moment, before awkwardly starting to eat. Patrick looked from one side to the other not sure what was going on between them and then gave a small shrug before going back to his game.
Jodie quickly looked across at her friend, who did the same. Their eyes met for the briefest of moments, before going back to their lunches. Both girls felt ashamed and embarrassed of where they found themselves, being the girls that they were neither wanted to be the first to say anything.
Jodie decided that it was probably up to her to try and reconcile, and decided to go for broke by quietly saying:
“Loser.”
It was said just loud enough for Laura to have heard, not to mention Patrick, who stopped playing his game and looked across to Jodie. He wasn’t sure if she was talking to him or not. She certainly wasn’t looking at him. She was looking at Laura.
Laura thought for a moment, before deciding to reply with
“Idiot,” her expression staying fixed.
Patrick was beginning to get confused. He looked at Laura, again not sure if the insult was aimed at him. It certainly wouldn’t have been the first time. However, neither girl seemed to even notice he was there.
Jodie began to smile a little, as she continued,
“Bitch.”
Now Laura started to smile, as she retaliated with:
“Skank.”
Jodie allowed herself to laugh, which then led Laura to do the same. Patrick took this as his cue to push his chair back against the wall, to allow the two friends to hug, which they did, both saying ‘sorry’ simultaneously. Patrick shook his head, before getting up and heading to another table, muttering:
“Unbelievable.”
Jodie and Laura broke off the hug and looked at each other.
“I’m sorry about the other night.”
“What part?”
“About Sean and me. I shouldn’t have gone behind your back.”
“You didn’t,” Laura said, with a shake of her head, “We’d broken up. I just over-reacted.”
“True, but you slept together, you don’t go with someone your best friend slept with everybody knows that.”
Laura sighed, a look of shame suddenly coming across her face.
“I didn’t sleep with him.”
Jodie nearly did a double take.
“You didn’t?”
Laura looked at her friend, feeling pretty stupid at this point.
“Not even close.”
“Well,” Jodie tried to process this, but found it was very hard to focus, “...what?”
“He’s too nice a guy for that. He’s too nice a guy for me, anyway.”
“But why did you say you did?”
Laura sat back a little in her chair and gave a resigned shrug.
“Because, I’m an idiot.”
Jodie put a comforting hand on her friend’s shoulder, aware that she was beginning to tear up, as she continued:
“I’m sorry.”
Jodie shook her head and gave Laura another quick hug, adding:
“It’s okay, you’re
my
idiot.”
The two girls smiled and bumped their heads together, briefly, in a show of solidarity. It was a nice moment for both of them and it was a moment that would have probably lasted a little longer, had Jodie’s mobile phone not started to ring. She pulled the phone out of her pocket and looked at the screen. It was her mother.
“Hello”
Her mother’s voice crackled down the line,
“Jodie, I need your help.”
Rob had spent the last two weeks feeling miserable. He had attempted to conquer these feelings with alcohol and take away food, but after two days he became increasingly aware that he was beginning to resemble a cliché. He had taken some time off work, firstly because he felt that maybe Jodie stood more of a chance of passing her exams if he was nowhere to be seen. Out of sight was out of mind, and she needed to be using all of her mind right now. Secondly, he was unable to concentrate, which would be unfair on the rest of his students. He couldn’t believe how things had turned out in the space of ten months.
It had all gone to hell, he found himself sitting in his flat, re-arranging his books and CDs into some non-sensible order that only he really understood and checking his phone every half hour or so, only to find no messages or missed calls.
He was somewhere deep in the heart of his Bruce Springsteen collection when there was a knock at his door. He stood up and walked through to open the door.
It was Jodie.
“Sorry. The security door was unlocked and I needed to see you.”
Rob sighed, he just felt like closing the door and going back to his
‘Born in the USA’
collector’s edition, except his politeness got the better of him.
“You shouldn’t be here Jodie.”
“Please don’t leave,” Jodie pleaded. Rob was confused, not sure what she meant.
“What?”
Jodie stepped forward and grabbed his arm:
“Your job, don’t leave. And don’t leave town either.”
Perplexed, Rob slowly pulled his arm away from Jodie’s grip and shook his head, bemused.
“I wasn’t planning on it.”
Now Jodie was confused.
“You weren’t?”
“No,” Rob confirmed, “What made you think I was?”
“They’re talking about it at school.”
“Who is?”
“Well, Laura.”
Rob rolled his eyes and smirked to himself, stating wryly,
“It must be true then.”
Jodie however persisted.
“And...My mother,” she continued, “she’s been dying to get in touch with you.”
“I haven’t had any calls from her.”
“She’s been too scared, she thinks she has messed everything up and she’s in a right state.
Please don’t leave because of me, I was being stupid and acting like a kid and...”
Suddenly, another voice entered the conversation, from halfway up the stairs.
“Oh, Go and wait downstairs, will you? You’re terrible at this.”
“Katy?” said Rob, confused.
“Mum?” added Jodie, also confused.
“You,” said Katy, looking her daughter straight in the eye, “Downstairs and wait for me in the car.”
Jodie gave an audible groan and shrugged at Rob, mouthing
‘sorry,’
before slowly slouching down the stairs and
opening the front security door. She did not, however, leave the building, instead allowing the door to slam, before sneaking halfway back up the stairs and sitting down to listen.
Katy stood for a moment, saying nothing, just looking at Rob. She had missed him more than she thought. She had missed his face, his eyes and, most of all, his voice.
“I heard about what you did,” she began, “At school.”
“Oh, that,” he nodded.
“You didn’t have to do that, you know?”
Rob hesitated for a moment.
“I kind of felt partly responsible.”
Katy stepped forward a little, in an attempt to be closer to him but he stepped back as she approached, still hurt by the last two weeks. He was also aware that despite everything he was happy to see her.
“You weren’t,” Katy continued, “It was all down to me. So, thank you.”
Rob nodded,
“It’s fine.”
Katy attempted to step forward again, but stopped herself.
“Are you leaving?”
“No,” he replied, “I’m not. Just taking some time off. Felt like the best thing to do for Jodie.”
With that confirmation firmly set in her mind, Katy decided to go for broke.
“Am I too late?”
Rob said nothing. Not for lack of understanding the conversation, but quite the opposite.
He didn’t know what to say given how their last conversation had ended.
“I mean,” She continued, “did I blow it? I just need to know, because, if I did then I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you and I have this regret sitting on my shoulders that’s making it hard to breathe.”
“I don’t know what you want, Katy,” Rob replied, with all the honesty he could muster.
“I know. That was my problem too. But I think I’ve finally figured that one out.”
“Really?” Rob asked.
Katy nodded,
“I’ve been kidding myself for eighteen years. I just got so comfortable being alone that I never made allowances for what would happen if I...”
This was when Rob finally stepped forward, aware now that Katy was struggling.
“What?”
Katy sighed and then shook her head, before saying the words that up until this moment, she had reserved only for her daughter and her parents.
“I love you.”
Jodie, still sitting quietly on the stairs, rested her head against the wall, expecting to feel a pang of jealousy or sadness. But, to her great surprise, she felt neither. What she felt instead, was pride. She had never considered her mother as a person who gave into her emotions so readily. In fact, she knew she wasn’t.
Rob was a little taken aback. He had expected an apology, at best, but not this. His heart raced. When he’d told her his feelings, he had meant it. But he had never had someone say it to him. He approached with caution, unsure of her intentions.
“Do you mean that?”
Katy was already reeling from the release of weight that had been sitting on her shoulders for the last forty eight hours.
“You’ve no idea.”
Rob couldn’t help but break a smile, which he tried to hide from Katy, attempting to keep her dangling for a few minutes more. Katy noticed this, but allowed him the pretense.
“How do I know this isn’t just a desperate ploy from someone who just doesn’t know what she wants?”
Katy finally put one of her hands into her coat pocket and pulled out the last thing Rob expected.
“I brought a toothbrush. I thought, maybe, I could keep it here.”
That was all it took. Rob looked straight into Katy’s eyes and did what he had been dying to do since she appeared at his door. He kissed her more intensely than he ever had before, conveying every ounce of what he felt for this amazing woman.
By the time the letters from University had started arriving, Jodie had finished her exams.
It had been a struggle. She knew she’d probably passed geography, and was fairly confident about advanced English. However, the physics and math had been tougher and she was not convinced that she had had enough time.
It was a stressful summer for her, a summer filled with more doubts than delights. She knew that in order to go to the university that she wanted in London, she was going to need Math at least, while Edinburgh University also required her to pass at least two of her three Highers. Conditional offers were in place for both, while she had a safety choice in Newcastle University, which had earlier that month offered her an unconditional offer.
And so, between beginning to feel comfortable being around her mother and Rob and trying to decide what she was going to take to whatever University, if any, she was going to attend, she found very little time to relax.
Sean, who’s laid back attitude to advanced education impressed her immensely, had been something of a rock for her over the last few weeks, managing to lift her up when she felt down and always with an optimistic outlook on her future. He believed in her more than she did; something she needed desperately.
When the letter containing her exam results came through her door, the first person she went to was Sean. They decided to take a walk together, Jodie intending on opening the letter in his presence, just in case the worst happened and she felt like throwing herself into the River Dee.
They headed for Duthie Park. It was a beautiful sunny day, warm with very little breeze, as they strolled past dog walkers and families, before taking a seat on a bench overlooking the south side of the city. Jodie kept the letter in her hand the whole time, unable to open it.
“Well?” asked Sean, “Are you going to open it?”
“I’m thinking about it,” she said, in a tone that said the opposite, “Just give me a second.”
“You’ve had all morning, come on. Just treat it like pulling off a plaster - fast with only a moment of pain, I promise you.”
Jodie sighed.
“I hate this.”
Sean placed his hand on her back and rubbed it gently.
“It’s only a couple of results it’s not the end of your life.”
“Easy for you to say.”
“Very easy,” he said, with mock honesty, “My results are at home.”
Jodie sat up again,
“How’d you do?”
Sean shrugged.
“I got what I expected.”
Jodie shook her head, both impressed and infuriated by his nonchalant attitude to his own future.
“You really have no interest in Uni?”
“Not until I know what I want to do,” he replied, before nudging her shoulder, “That’s why I envy you.”
Jodie let out a condescending laugh:
“I wouldn’t, I’m a mess.”
“True, but you know what you want, don’t you? Do you know how lucky you are? A lot of kids would kill to know that. Most of us don’t.”
Jodie was amazed. Here was a guy that clearly liked her a great deal, who was handsome and smart and most enviable of all, care-free. What’s more, he knew exactly the right things to say to make her feel better and was refreshingly honest with her.
“You’re a good guy, Sean. What the hell are you doing hanging out with me? Aren’t you sick of me by now?”
“Totally sick of you,” said with a devilish grin, “Honestly, I’m only hanging out with you in case you get drunk again. Then I can take advantage of you properly, I’ll make sure my guitar is out of the way incase you’ll need to throw up this time tough.”
Jodie jammed her eyes shut in embarrassment.
“Oh God, I still can’t believe I did that.”
Sean took the opportunity, with her eyes now closed, to lean across and kiss her ever so lightly on the lips. Jodie didn’t move, nor did she fully kiss him back. But she allowed herself to enjoy it, nonetheless.