‘Are you okay?’
This was the answer Jodie was looking for and she decided to head for Sean’s house.
It was nine thirty by the time she got to the doorstep and knocked on the door, a strange feeling of relief and nerves overcame her; relief to have a sanctuary of sorts, or at the very least a delay in actually facing going home, and nerves in that she wasn’t sure how Sean or more importantly his parents would react to her turning up, still half-drunk and soaking wet on their doorstep at this hour. As it happened, she needn’t have worried as Sean answered the door, with a reassuring smile and a friendly pat on the shoulder, before ushering her quietly inside.
Laura lay comatose on the couch in Sean’s living room, a little drool leaking from her mouth, her hair ruffled and the less said about her clothing the better. Mercifully, Sean had covered her with one of the couch throws and had left a bucket at her side in case she had to be sick.
His parents were milling about in the kitchen, but didn’t feel the need to ask Jodie how she was feeling as she made her way through the hallway towards the stairs following Sean up to his room.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“I’m a little dizzy.”
“Yeah, mixing drinks will do that.”
“Aren’t you drunk?”
“Not really. I don’t drink that much.”
“Mr. Health?”
“Not really, I just don’t have much of a taste for it I guess.”
Sean opened his bedroom door and let Jodie walk in, before following her and leaving the door half closed just in case she had to bolt for the toilet. Jodie flopped back onto Sean’s bed and accidentally let out a burp. Sean stifled a laugh, before sitting down at the edge of her bed and picking up his guitar, lightly strumming it. Jodie fixed her gaze on Sean, and watched him for a few moments, listening to him play. It was only when Sean realized that nobody had said anything for a few minutes that he turned to look at her.
She sighed and gave him a small smile.
“Cheer up,” he said, before flopping back on the bed, guitar still at his chest and his head next to hers. He stared at the ceiling for a moment, before turning to face Jodie who was rubbing her head, perplexed. Then almost as if it had been on her mind the whole night she turned and asked,
“So why’d you break up with Laura?”
Sean thought over this question for a second, before answering with a question of his own.
“Do you really care?”
Jodie shrugged,
“She’s my best friend.”
“But do you
care
?”
“You just seem so nice.”
Sean raised his shoulders and offered a little mock modesty.
“I am nice.”
“Then why?”
Again, Sean took his time to answer, a moment’s pause that might have aroused suspicion in Jodie’s mind had it not been drowned that evening with cheap alcohol.
“I guess I’m too nice for her.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jodie asked, causing Sean to exhale a little in exasperation.
“Jodie, your friend shot-gunned a bottle of cider with you two hours ago and now she’s passed out downstairs. I’m eighteen, it’s a Friday night and I’m sober. Do you need to join the dots?”
“So why’d you go out with her in the first place?”
Sean sat up and sighed, laying his guitar on the floor, but he didn’t answer. Jodie lay still for a few moments before sitting up to join him.
“What’s wrong?”
Sean shook his head, realizing the futility of his situation.
“It’s stupid.”
“That’s okay,” replied Jodie, “I’m stupid, and I can take it.”
The two friends allowed their eyes to meet and then they shared a laugh.
“Well,” he continued, “I guess since everybody’s being honest tonight I should be too.”
“What is it?”
Sean shut his eyes tight, as if hoping that perhaps there was another way out of his current situation. Sadly, there wasn’t, and he knew it.
“I think I started seeing Laura because she’s your best friend.”
Jodie rubbed her head again.
“I don’t get it.”
Sean motioned with his eyes, towards his window. Jodie followed his gaze, falling on her own bedroom window. But the implication was too subtle for Jodie’s drunken mind to process. She brought her gaze back to Sean and gave a slightly frustrated,
“What?”
“I like you.”
Sean allowed his eyes to meet Jodie’s searching for her reaction.
“You like me?”
“Yes, and I think, in some really stupid, complicated way, I thought that maybe by being with Laura, it would be a good way to see you every day.”
“Why didn’t you just ask me out instead?”
“I didn’t say it made sense, did I? Not everyone can be as smart as you. Besides, you had your sights set a little higher than me.”
Jodie suddenly felt nauseous, knowing exactly what he meant, as well as the
consequences that were still awaiting her for it.
“Relax,” said Sean, patting her on the knee, “it could be worse.”
“He’s sleeping with my mother and I’ve been obsessing about him. I’m going to fail my exams because I’ve spent all my time thinking about this one guy so please tell me how could it be any worse?”
Sean tried to think of an answer, something positive that might be redeemed from the situation.
“I’ve got nothing, sorry.”
Jodie let out and audible groan.
“See? And now I’m sitting here, shitfaced, talking to my neighbor, when I should be over there trying to sort things out.”
“But on the plus side, you haven’t thrown up yet.”
Jodie exhaled and shook her head.
“I feel terrible.”
“You look great, though.”
“You think so?”
“Sure.”
Jodie smiled and then slowly laid her head on Sean’s shoulder.
“Thank you. You’re really nice, y’know?”
“Yeah,” he replied, “I get that a lot. Sometimes I think I’m too nice.”
“Why?”
“Well girls seem to go for guys with more edge.”
“You seem so together all the time.”
“Thank you. I wait until I’m alone before I break down. I’m actually really immature.”
“Well, my mum always said that guys mature later than girls.”
“She’s a smart lady.”
“She is,” Jodie started to feel ill again and started to breathe in and out deeply, trying to fend off the dizziness that had been inevitable. It was then that she caught her reflection in Sean’s window, sitting there at the end of the bed, her head on his shoulder, a snapshot that made far more sense.
“What the hell have I been doing?”
Sean also noticed their reflection and while it made him feel happy, it seemed tinged with sadness - like a glimpse of something that was not to be.
“Hey,” he whispered, “I haven’t given you your birthday present yet.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know, but like you said, I’m nice.”
Sean leaned across to his desk and grabbed a small wrapped box off of it.
“Happy birthday,” he said, handing her the gift. She gave him a fake-annoyed smile of
‘you shouldn’t have’ before unwrapping it to reveal a new I pod.
“Oh, Sean,”
“What?”
She’d never been given a gift from a boy before, let alone one that clearly cost quite a bit of money. She opened the box and picked up the small shiny mp3 player to look at it closer.
“Thank you. I don’t know what to say, it’s too much.”
“Turn it over.”
Jodie turned it over to find that it was engraved with
‘Happy 18th, Jodie McPhee’
Sean leaned forward a little, taking a closer look at the writing, before adding,
“Now it’s too much. What do you think?”
The answer came unexpectedly, as Jodie leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips.
Sean, despite the surprise, couldn’t help himself, and kissed her back. She shuffled forward on the bed a little while Sean brought his hand up to gently touch her cheek as they continued to kiss.
This was when Jodie felt something strange happen, something she hadn’t felt two hours earlier when she had kissed Rob. The feeling only managed to last about fifteen seconds before Sean stopped himself and pulled back:
“Wait.”
Jodie still had her lips pursed and eyes closed as he said this. She slowly sat back and opened her eyes, a feeling of dread overcoming her.
“Oh God, what did I just do?”
Sean breathed out and tried to approach things as delicately as he could.
“You kissed me.”
Jodie started to freak out, her head beginning to spin.
“That’s not cool, is it?”
Sean tried to comfort her, sensing that her confidence had been knocked enough for one night.
“It’s fine, just...”
“What?”
Sean found himself almost laughing at the situation as he replied:
“Bad timing.”
This was when another voice entered the conversation.
“Understatement of the decade asshole!”
Jodie and Sean both turned towards the door to see Laura standing before them.
“Laura,” Sean stood up, “this isn’t what you think.”
Laura was having none of it:
“This explains a lot.”
Jodie, meanwhile, started to breathe a little too quickly for her liking, whispering
“I don’t feel good.”
“So, this is why we broke up?” The look of rage and confusion on Laura’s face was almost comical, the tone in her voice a little less so.
“Don’t be silly, it was nothing to do with her, it was all you...” before immediately correcting himself, “I mean us, us.”
Laura grabbed a CD case from Sean’s desk and threw it at him.
“Fuck you!”
And with that, Laura stormed out of the room and down the hallway, before quickly coming back for a second last word, directed straight at Jodie,
“Oh and happy fucking birthday!”
She slammed the door as she left and could be heard stomping down the stairs and slamming the front door.
“Wonderful,” was all Sean could say, before turning back to Jodie, just in time to witness what happened next. Jodie lurched forward, feeling the bile gathering momentum at the back of her throat, her head feeling like it was about to split in two, before delivering, throwing up all over Sean’s guitar.
The night ended as it had begun, with a bottle of cider.
Katy had been sitting in the living room for the last two hours, but only now did she have the nerve to talk about what had happened. She was still holding the letter from Jodie’s school in her hand, along with the
‘sabotage list’
, occasionally going back to have another look, almost out of the belief that she was in fact dreaming all this. Each time she was hit with a new wave of disappointment and sadness.
Rob found himself in almost as uncomfortable a position. He couldn’t help but feel partly responsible for all of this. He could never have known that he was the focus of Jodie’s affections. He and his friends used to joke about people in situations like the one he now found himself in. If only he’d known how genuinely un-funny a scenario it had turned out to be, he might have laughed a lot less. And unlike his friends, he wouldn’t have fantasized about enjoying it, either. Because looking at Katy, sitting in the moist residue of the admittedly few tears she had shed that night, seeing the woman he was involved with in pain was almost unbearable now.
Katy sniffed, before taking one last look at the pieces of paper in her hands and saying,
“You should be flattered. The way she talks about you, it makes me feel jealous.”
Rob wasn’t sure whether to take this as a compliment. He found himself beginning to pace around the room, constantly checking the window to see if there was any sign of Jodie.
“Jealous?” he asked, tentatively.
“She’s in love with you.”
Rob didn’t want to hear this now. He was embarrassed enough already.
“So what?” he replied, “I’m in love with...”
He didn’t mean to say it but it was too late. Katy had heard all she needed to.
“Rob,” she replied, with a slight tremble in her voice.
“I’m sorry, but I can only be honest with you and it’s how I feel, and...” his anger was beginning to rise now, he was tiring of all the word games, “Goddamn it, I’m not going to be ashamed of it. So, yes, I love you, Okay?”
As the words came out, Rob became aware of a feeling of relief washing over him, a feeling of satisfaction that came as a direct result of being in the right. What he could never have suspected was that at the exact same moment, Katy felt it too. She didn’t let on in any physical way; no slight smile or fall in the shoulders, but inside her heart was bursting. The only difference was the rationale. For while Rob had utilized this feeling in a positive way; Katy however was trying to prepare herself for what she had to do, and this began with her saying nothing
Rob was pissed off with the silent response.
“That’s it?” he said, surprised to get no reaction out of her, “You’ve nothing you want to say to me?”
Katy shrugged.
“Like what?”
“Like what? Gee, I don’t know, like what? Um, maybe...” Rob’s pacing became more erratic, “...
thanks!
Maybe,
Appreciate it.
Maybe, Oh, I don’t know,
I love you too.
”
“What good would that really do at this point?” said Katy, incorporating a sigh into the statement.
Rob felt his heart begin to break.
“It might do
you
some good.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning why are you always so quick to shoot down that sort of talk? What’s wrong with being honest about how you feel?”
“I tried that once,” she replied, before pointing towards the ceiling, vaguely in the direction of Jodie’s room, “and look what happened. Rob, you just don’t...”
“Don’t what?” he interrupted, “Don’t get it? Am I just a kid or something? Or is it just that you’re too scared of what might happen if you say those words.”
“I’m not scared,” she snapped, allowing her anger from the night’s event completely flow over her.
“Then just say it.”
Katy put down the pieces of paper she still held in her hands and stood up.
“Why? Why do you need to hear it so badly?”