The rest of the weekend was something of a quiet affair. Jodie awoke on the living room couch with a hangover that would end up lasting two days. If she was being honest with herself, she knew she deserved it. Of course, on the very few occasions in the past when she had felt similarly fragile, she had always been able to rely on her mother. She knew this wouldn’t be the case this time.
Katy awoke early that morning. She hadn’t slept much that night, tossing and turning under the duvet, she even found herself checking her mobile phone every half an hour or so, just in case she had missed a message. She resisted all urges to send Rob a text begging for him to forgive her at least six times during the night, and went to the kitchen to make herself a coffee as a means of distraction.
She took a seat and stared out at her back garden, the morning light slowly revealing the remnants of the previous evening’s party. This was a little too much reality for Katy. She stood up and took her coffee through to the living room, where she then found herself confronted with Jodie asleep on the sofa. Again, this proved a little too much for her that morning, and so she slowly walked out into the hall and back headed upstairs. She put her coffee on the nightstand and crawled back under the duvet. Then she reached for her mobile phone again. Just to check.
Katy took her daughter to see the Guidance Counselor first thing Monday morning. Mr.
Posner looked tired as he sat behind his desk, facing Jodie and Katy. He loathed these sorts of meetings and despite his age, often felt self-conscious that his advice meant nothing to these people.
A case in point was sitting right in front of him, this was now the third time Jodie had sat in that chair and the presence of Katy meant that things were serious. He looked over Jodie’s file, before bringing his gaze up to hers. Jodie shifted uncomfortably in her chair, while Katy remained stone faced and quiet.
“Well,” he said, “here we are again.”
Jodie felt sick, but managed to respond, if only briefly.
“Yes. Sorry.”
Posner sized up Jodie’s mood and decided that he was facing a girl who was absolutely terrified. Oddly, he found this comforting. At least it meant she was finally taking things seriously. He turned his attention to Katy, who looked almost as distressed as her daughter. Posner attempted to lighten the mood a little, with a wry,
“And you are?”
The joke fell flat, met with blank expressions on both sides.
“Sorry, couldn’t resist. Well, let’s get down to it, shall we? How can I help?”
Katy looked at her daughter, before turning back to Posner and breathing in deeply,
“I’m here to ask you to forgive my daughter for being a moron.”
Jodie almost did a double-take.
‘
Did she just say that?’
Posner smiled lightly, immediately sensing that while Katy had cracked the joke, it was a defense mechanism. She was deadly serious. Posner sat upright in his chair and lightened his tone slightly.
“That’s fine, I mean, if we didn’t forgive every kid who acted like a moron, we’d have an empty school.”
Again the joke miss-fired, although Katy did at least smile this time which was enough for him.
“What else?” he asked.
“I’d like to see if we could get an extension on her last exams,” Katy replied.
“An extension?”
Katy nodded,
“So that she has a little more time to prepare for them.”
“I see,” Posner rummaged through Jodie’s file and pulled out her schedule, reading from it as he continued, “Jodie has three exams still to sit.”
Katy turned to her daughter for confirmation, but Jodie was miles away, staring at Posner’s garish choice of neck tie. Katy smacked her daughter’s hand, hard. Jodie snapped out of it and answered,
“What? Sorry yes, geography and math.”
“And these are to be sat on Thursday and Friday this week, am I right?” he asked. Jodie thought about this, before nodding.
Posner turned a page, before putting the file back down on his desk.
“And Physics the week after. That’s a lot of work, the kind of work that needs a good year’s worth of study. You do realize that this is fairly unorthodox? That our system doesn’t really allow for such exceptions? I mean, if we do this then what’s to stop anyone else doing the same as you? Neglecting their studies, ignoring their guidance counselor’s advice, not involving their parents. These are all things we need to take into consideration.”
Jodie heard every point he made and agreed with everything he said. And, for the first time she began to feel not only guilty but really stupid. What the hell had she been doing?
Only now was she aware of what was at stake and, only now did she realize that the only thing she was sure of was that she wanted to pass her exams and get the hell out of this situation. But first she had to get the hell out of this room. She sighed and then quietly said:
“It’s my fault.”
Posner leaned forward, not quite sure he’d heard her correctly.
“I’m sorry?”
Katy had heard her perfectly, and suddenly butted in:
“No. It’s my fault, all of it.”
Jodie turned to her mother, who gave her a slight, re-assuring smile and squeezed her hand warmly.
“I did something, started seeing someone and it caused... a distraction.”
Posner, who despite the neck tie was quite a sharp man, understood immediately, leaned back and shook his head, sympathizing with Katy, a woman he felt who had clearly been backed into a corner and was willing to take the flak for her daughter.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself Ms. McPhee,” he replied.
Katy sat up, trying to compose herself.
“I can’t help it. Old habits die hard I guess.”
Posner shook his head again,
“No, I don’t think that’s it, is it?” He then turned his gaze towards Jodie, “Jodie’s old enough to know what’s best for her so let’s ask her.”
Jodie felt a nervous sweat coming on.
“Ask me what?”
“Do you think we should inconvenience ourselves and allow you another week’s worth of study time? Should we give you a second chance? In fact this would be your third chance, really. What do you think? Do you think you deserve it?”
It was a fair question and one which Jodie had been thinking a lot about herself lately.
She had thought about how different things had been one year ago when she was an excellent student with impeccable grades and a fairly un-controversial profile (if you didn’t count the odd stationary cupboard liaison). There had been no craziness, no need for sabotage or tactics, there had been no Rob Peer and she and her mother were best friends. It didn’t make her proud, it didn’t make her happy. It made her ashamed. And it was this shame that led her to answer as honestly as she could.
“No, I don’t.”
Katy leaned in to her daughter and whispered in her ear:
“Jodie?”
Jodie shook her head, stopping her before she had a chance to dissuade her.
“I mean it, Mum. After the way I’ve behaved, I don’t deserve anything. I’m just being honest.”
Posner sat silent for a moment, staring blankly at Jodie. Katy kept her eyes fixed on Posner, as if awaiting sentence from a judge. Then he smiled.
“That is the correct answer Ms. McPhee.”
Katy breathed a sigh of relief and sat back in her chair, exhausted. Jodie, meanwhile, merely raised her eyebrows in surprise.
“It is?”
“Absolutely,” he replied, happily before lifting his arm and pointing towards the door:
“Would you step outside for a moment please?”
Jodie and Katy looked at one and other. Katy nodded to her daughter and with that, Jodie rose from her seat and walked outside to the office hallway, closing the door as she went.
Almost immediately, Katy turned her attention back to Posner, leaning across the desk and talking with a hushed tone.
“What do I need to do? Do you need a guarantee or a sponsor or something? I’ll sign whatever you need. Whatever it takes, just please don’t tell me it’s too late.”
Posner shook his head and offered her a reassuring wave of the hand. Then he sat back in his chair and smiled.
“Humility is a priceless trait Ms. McPhee. Your daughter has it in spades.”
Katy nodded, resisting the urge to cry, she was relieved to hear someone compliment her daughter. She was used to the good grades, the report cards, but to hear someone talk about her in a positive way was new to her and, considering the circumstances, genuinely unexpected.
“She’s a good girl really.”
Posner leaned down and pulled a small folder out of the drawer in his desk. He then slid it across to Katy, saying:
“It’s never too late Ms. McPhee.”
Katy took the folder and opened it, revealing a new work schedule for Jodie.
“You mean..?”
“She has two weeks from today. Better get her head down.”
Katy smiled and stood up, adding:
“I’ll staple it to the table if that’s what it takes. Thank you so much.”
She held out her hand, which Posner took and they shook on it.
“A pleasure,” he replied.
Katy stepped towards the door, before quickly turning back round, remembering:
“Oh, do I need to sign anything?”
Posner looked up from his desk and shook his head.
“Usually we require a letter of recommendation, just to keep things official, but don’t worry it’s already taken care of.”
This was a surprise and it caused Katy a brief moment of pause, before she decided to pry further.
“Really?”
Posner nodded and added:
“Mr. Peer came to see me this morning. He gave his own personal recommendation.”
It took Katy only a matter of seconds to find out from her daughter where Rob’s classroom was. Jodie had given her directions, before heading to the school library. They were basic, but shouldn’t have been a problem: first floor, room sixteen.
Nevertheless, the corridors and hallways of Brushwood Academy were tricky places to negotiate and Katy found herself taking wrong turns more than a few times. She felt like a fool. How could she have been so careless as to let this man get away from her? She felt like she had sabotaged herself.
She turned yet another corner and began to wonder why she hadn’t just brought Jodie with her to show her where she was going. She hadn’t even found the stairs yet, and Jodie had advised her not to take the elevator on the count of it being a little temperamental.
Katy’s mind raced ahead of her,
‘Where the hell am I? No wonder my daughter’s failing, she probably couldn’t find her
classrooms.’
Finally, she came to some stairs. Katy ran up to the first floor and was confronted with a small sign directing her to the English department. She started reading the numbers on the doors as she went.
‘One, Two...I can’t believe Rob did that for Jodie... Three, Four...I can’t believe I let him
go...Five, Six... What the hell am I going to say to him? Why would he even bother taking
me back? What am I doing? I should be at work, this is nuts...Twelve, Thirteen...’
There were very few students about, mainly because it was exam time and many of the kids were on leave, but also because it was somewhere between the third and fourth period by now and everyone else was in class.
‘Fifteen...Sixteen.’
Katy suddenly felt breathless, unsure of herself and completely unprepared. She didn’t even bother to peek through the window on the door. She knew herself too well and knew that if she peeked, then there was a good chance she would have chickened out and walked away.
She knocked on the door and stood back a little, making sure she looked presentable. She had made the effort that morning, for her daughter’s sake, wearing a cute little blouse and dark trousers, but she was concerned she had overdone her make-up. She wasn’t used to wearing any. Such strange thoughts now flooded her brain, but it was all too late now as the door of classroom swung open.
“Can I help you?” asked a deep female voice. .
Katy’s heart sank as she found herself confronted with a middle aged woman, with large glasses and an angry disposition. It caught Katy off guard and she stumbled over her words as she asked:
“Um, Rob...I mean, Mr. Peer. Sorry, I’m looking for Mr. Peer.”
The woman gave Katy a quick once over, before turning back to her class, who had all started talking amongst themselves.
“QUIET!”
And they were.
She turned her attention back to Katy, who acknowledged the teacher’s command of authority with a nod and a smile.
“Sorry, I think I must have the wrong room, you’re obviously very busy here.”
“Mr. Peer is taking some time off this week; I’m not sure when he’s coming back. I’m Miss McIntyre, can I help you?”
Katy felt her heart skip a beat and suddenly felt sick. She simply shook her head,
“I’m sorry I disturbed you, thanks,” then Katy started to walk away. Miss McIntyre watched her go, a little perplexed, before turning her attention back to the class and closing the door.
Katy made her way down the hallway, her head spinning. She didn’t know what to think.
All she knew was Rob was gone and it felt like her fault. She felt really sick now, so distracted that she didn’t even realize that she had stepped into the elevator at the bottom of the hall. She pushed the button and the doors closed on her.
Katy rummaged in her bag for her mobile phone, but was stopped mid-rummage by the elevator coming to an abrupt halt. A tiny pinging noise indicated that it had stalled.
Katy sighed and thought to herself
‘Perfect.’
Jodie decided to grab lunch in the lunch hall. She had been in the library most of the morning, blissfully unaware that her mother had spent an hour stuck in the school elevator and now she was feeling peckish.
The lunch hall was only half-f, most of the older students being on study leave. Jodie walked up to the counter and perused her choices, favoring the lasagna. She paid for her food, grabbed her tray and turned to look for a seat.
Scanning the lunch hall her eyes, almost immediately, fixed on a familiar face.