Love Me: Oakville Series:Book 5 (22 page)

I
have never been so embarrassed in my entire life. Nor have I met a bigger bitch. She made me feel like I was doing something wrong by being there with Chase and Marcus. We were just having pizza and playing some video games for shit’s sake. Up until bitchzilla showed up, I was having a great time. I can’t remember the last time I had that much fun. Both Marcus and Chase are so easy to get along with. Even if I didn’t know they were father and son, it would be so easy to see. Their facial expressions are so similar, they tell the same kinds of corny jokes, and Chase even has the same smile and wink combo as his dad. On Chase, it’s adorable. On Marcus, it’s sexy as hell.

As much as I want to deny my attraction to Marcus, I can’t. The man makes me nervous and weak in the knees. I shouldn’t be thinking of him in that way, but I just can’t help it. I can’t follow through with the feelings I’m having. Even if he did have feelings for me, which I’m sure he doesn’t, he is in no way ready for any kind of relationship. Not that I blame him. Losing his wife so soon has to be a horrible thing to go through.

I need to keep it completely professional from now on—for his sake and mine. The last thing I need is another heartbreak.
What is wrong with me? Why do I always seem to choose the wrong men?
Steven was the love of my life…or so I thought until he hit me. Before him was Morgan. I dated him for over a year before I found out he preferred men. I don’t trust myself in picking the right man. Marcus Winters is most definitely the wrong man. He has too much baggage. It’s plain to see that he’s still in love with his wife and not ready to move on.

I need to get my mind on something other than Marcus. A walk around town might help with that. In my room, I open the dresser, pull out a pair of black yoga pants and a white t-shirt, and peel off the purple sundress and heels I wore to work. I put on the t-shirt and yoga pants then pull my hair into a high ponytail. After putting on a pair of socks and sneakers, I’m ready to go.

I step out of my apartment building into the cool night air. It’s the perfect fall evening. There’s a light breeze blowing, keeping the temperature bearable. The sky is clear and filled with millions of sparkling stars. I walk at a steady pace through town. I love living here. You don’t have to be afraid to walk at night alone. A stranger stands out in this town like a sore thumb. I should know, I was one not too long ago. As I get closer to the sheriff station, I see Sheriff Beasley getting out of his truck. He looks over and smiles. I met him a month ago when he came to talk to the class about bullies.

“Good evening, Ms. Lexi. How are you tonight?” he asks.

“I’m loving this beautiful weather we’re having, how about you?” His smile widens.

“Couldn’t be better. Just spent the evening with my daughter and her family.” His eyes light up at the mention of his family. It causes my heart to ache. I wish I had a family to light my face up that way. Being all alone can sometimes get…well, lonely. I do have the kids in my class and Foster, but it’s not the same. “What has you out tonight?”

“Just avoiding the stack of papers I need to grade,” I tell him with a laugh. He chuckles.

“Well, I’ll let you get back to avoiding then. I have a stack of my own waiting for me. Have a good night,” he tells me.

“You too, Sheriff,” I say with a wave.

As I continue down the street, the aroma of coffee and baked goodies from Kelly’s Cafe hits my nose and my stomach growls. Kelly makes some of the best baked goods. Just thinking about it has my mouth watering. One cake pop and a cup of coffee won’t hurt. After all, I’ll work it off on my walk back home. I walk into the door and right up to the counter. There are only a few people spread throughout the café, some reading books, others on laptops.

“What can I get for you?” the girl behind the counter asks, a bright smile on her face. I glance up at the menu. So many decisions. Everything looks good.

“A red velvet cake pop and a small coffee with milk and sugar please.” I hand over the money. When she gives me my change, I place it in the tip jar. Taking my coffee and cake pop, I find a seat next to the door in front of the huge bay window. Before I take my first bite, I notice Holly walking toward the café and turn in my chair, praying she doesn’t see me. I was just starting to relax after our run in at Chuck E. Cheese’s. I held my tongue before because I didn’t want to make a scene, but I’m not sure I can do it again. I watch, hoping she walks right by. Before she gets to the door, she looks in the window and stares right at me. The recognition in her eyes has my stomach turning and the song
The Bitch is Back
playing in my head. She smiles and comes into the café. I look down at my phone as if it’s the most interesting thing in the world, praying she’s only here for some sweets. I stiffen when I feel a hand on my shoulder. Slowly, I look up and see Holly staring down at me.

“Do you mind if I sit?” she asks, but before I can tell her no, she’s already taking the seat across from me. This woman has a set of balls on her.

“Do I have a choice?” I ask, my sarcasm thick.

“Not really,” she says with a slight grin and a shrug of her shoulders.
Is this woman bipolar?
One minute she’s being a total bitch and the next she’s sitting at my table grinning at me. “I won’t apologize for being concerned about my friend, but I will apologize for being a bitch about it.” She pauses a moment. “Taryn…Marcus’ wife, was one of my best friends. I promised her I’d look after both of her boys. Seeing the three of you laughing and having fun made me snap a little.” I throw my hand up, cutting her off before she can say more.

“Look, I don’t know what you think you saw, but honestly, it was just dinner. I’ve been helping Chase and he invited me. Marcus and I were just going along with it for him.” She shakes her head and laughs. It pisses me off a bit. “Something funny?” I ask, my eyebrow raised.

“Anyone watching you and Marcus together can see it,” she states, and I furrow my brow in confusion.

“See what?” She tilts her head, studying my face.

“Chemistry. Want. Need. It’s so obvious there’s something between you two, even if you’re both too blind to see it. The three of you look perfect together,” she states plainly.

“You’re crazy. Nothing is going on between us.”

“There is, but neither of you can see it right now.” I start to protest, but she raises her hand, stopping me. “I like you and believe you’re a great woman. I just want you to promise me one thing. Those two have had enough pain to last them a lifetime. They don’t need anymore.” Her eyes fill with tears. The love she has for both Marcus and Chase is obvious. Seeing her protect the people she cares for so fiercely makes me like her, too. “Please make sure he is what you want before anything gets started.” Not knowing what else to do, I nod. There’s nothing going on between Marcus and I, so she has nothing to worry about.

For the next hour, Holly and I sip coffee and chat. I definitely misjudged her. She really is amazing. Not someone to mess with, by any means, but a great person. Getting on her bad side would not be a good idea. She invites me to girls’ night at KC’s Bar & Grille. Seeing as I really haven’t met anyone since I moved here, I accept. Holly’s phone buzzes, startling us both.

“Oh shit!” she exclaims. “Paul is home with Chase and Hope. I was supposed to be picking up cake pops for dessert. I’ve been gone a long time and he’s worried,” she explains as she types a reply to Paul’s text. Holly walks to the counter and purchases her cake pops. Together we leave the café and say our goodbyes outside.

As I walk home, thoughts of Marcus flood my mind. Do I have feelings for him? I’m attracted to him, sure, but is it more? Watching him tonight with Chase had my stomach doing flip-flops. Seeing the love he has for his son had my heart swelling. In just the short time I’ve known him, I can tell what a good man he is. With my track record, that is most definitely alluring. There’s a huge problem with me falling for Marcus, though. He’s still not ready to move on from his wife. No matter what my feelings for him are, that fact will not change.

C
hase and I are sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast. In the last three years, I’ve gotten this morning routine down pat. The first few months were tough and I think he was tardy for school more than he was on time, but luckily, we’ve gotten into a groove. Lately, he’s bursting with energy and talking non-stop in the morning. I think we owe this change to all the time he’s been spending after school with Lexi. Whatever she’s doing seems to be working. This morning he’s quiet and picking at his pancakes.

Chase looks up at me, then back down to his plate. He places his fork down and looks at me again. “Can you pick me up in Ms. Bissen’s room today, like you used to? I really want to show you how far we’ve gotten on our city.” My heart clenches and I take a moment to try to figure out what exactly to tell him. I can’t come right out and say I’m afraid to be around his teacher because I’m having feelings for her I shouldn’t be having. I’ve avoided picking him up for the last couple weeks, having the guys do it for me. I also don’t want to disappoint my son. He’s so excited about their project. I’m torn. The guilt for the feelings I have for Lexi is eating away at me.

“Of course I will. I can’t wait to see how it’s turning out,” I tell him. His face lights up and he smiles wide. Happiness courses through me. I’d do anything to see that look on his face, I just hope I can keep it there. The boy I knew three years ago is slowly coming back and I couldn’t be happier about it. I cannot screw this up.

After dropping off Chase, I come back home. Sitting out on the back deck, I work on some new lyrics. Every word coming from me seems to be the making of some sappy ass love song. I haven’t written a love song in years. Since I lost Taryn, most of the songs I write are angry. I’ve been angry at her for leaving. Angry at myself for not being able to do anything to help her. Angry at the world for going on with their lives and being happy. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I’ve wasted too much time already, but I don’t know how to fix it. Moving on and being happy again feels like a betrayal. The guys have been giving me shit about my angry songs for a while now, but I can’t write what I don’t feel. That’s just not the way it works.

My mind keeps drifting to Lexi and it’s making it hard to concentrate on what I’m trying to do. I shouldn’t be thinking about her the way I am. When she’s around, my heart beats so fast, it practically jumps from my chest, my palms sweat, and all I want to do is kiss her. It’s not fair to her, or Taryn—especially Taryn. How can I have these feelings for Lexi? I love my wife. In all the years I was with Taryn, never had I thought of another woman. It feels like I’m cheating on my wife. Will that ever go away? Do I want it to go away? Part of me does. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone by my side at night…and someone to kiss. I do miss kissing. But again, I miss Taryn by my side in bed—and it’s Taryn who I miss kissing.