Faith (My Misery Muse) (10 page)

Chapter 17

Mags

I woke up to the most delicious feelings. I
thought at first I was dreaming, but I could never dream up being
that stretched. I felt a kiss at the base of my neck. “Merry
Christmas, baby,” Drake whispered into my ear and I arched back
into him.

“Don’t think this changes anything,” I
said.

He laughed then started to push further into
me. God, it felt good.

Once all the way in, he put his hand between
my legs and lifted one leg over his hips causing him to go further,
I couldn’t stop the moan even if I had wanted to. “God, you feel
good,” I whimpered.

“MMM, you’ve said that a lot lately.”

I reached back and smacked his arm. “Fuck me
already.”

He started a slow languid pace that had me
panting, and trying to move back into him, only his hand on my hip
wouldn’t allow it.

“What do you need, honey?” he whispered into
my ear.

“To come.”

“Hmm.”

He let go of my hip, reached around and found
my clit, slowly circling around it. “Drake,” I whined.

“Yes, baby?”

“Quit fucking teasing me.”

He chuckled. He then grabbed my clit between
his thumb and forefinger and pinched while pulling back and
slamming into me; I arched back into him, trying to pull him
further in.

“Like that, baby?”

“God yes, just like that.”

He nuzzled into my shoulder and continued
playing with my clit while fucking me hard.

“Come, baby,” he whispered before tweaking my
clit just right and shoving into me hard and as deep as anyone had
ever been. I screamed his name and felt him shudder behind me
finding his own release.

“Honey, I didn’t think it could get any
better,” he finally panted out.

“Mmmm” was all I was able to get out.

I felt him pull out and roll over to take
care of the condom. He then wrap his arms around me and pulled me
against his chest.

“How you feeling, baby?”

“Sore.”

“I’m sorry, Mags.”

“It’s a good kind of sore.” I kissed his
chest and melted into his warm embrace.

“Drake, this really doesn’t change
anything.”

“Mags, we had sex.”

“Yep, great sex, lots of sex,” I said, “but
it still doesn’t change anything.”

“I told you I love you.”

“You don’t mean it.”

He sighed. “How would you know?”

“Cause I do, I know you, Drake Matthew
Porter, you don’t do love.”

“With you I do.”

“Let’s drop this for now; we have other
things to take care of.”

“Like Quinn who will be waking up any time
now.”

“Fine, but we will talk about this.”

I gave a non-committal noise, and got up to
take a shower before Quinn wanted breakfast.

Drake

I watched Mags’ naked ass as she walked
across the room and into the bathroom and let out a sigh, she was
not going to make this easy—damn woman. I rolled out of bed, found
my boxers lying on the floor and pulled them on. Might as well get
coffee before we start this fight.

I walked past Quinn’s room and heard
whimpering so went in and checked on her, she was wiggling around,
starting to fuss so I went and picked her out of her crib.

“Mornin’ Princess,” I said as I cuddled her
into my chest kissing her soft hair. After a diaper change, we
finally made it into the kitchen for some much needed caffeine. I
pulled out two cups and started filling them up with the already
brewed coffee, and fixed Mags' coffee the way she liked while
bouncing Quinn who was starting to get antsy for her breakfast.

“Look at you Mr. Domestic,” said Mags,
walking into the kitchen.

I shrugged. “Here’s your coffee; she’s been
changed but getting hungry.” She reached for her cup and took a
deep drink then put it down and took the baby.

“Come on sweetie, let’s get you fed.”

I grabbed both our cups and followed her into
the living room.

After we got situated on the couch, I looked
at Mags over my coffee cup. “So we going to talk about this?”

“What’s to talk about? We fucked, it was
great but that’s all it was, Drake.”

I sighed and put my cup down. “That’s all we
did baby, fuck?”

“What would you call it, Drake?”

“Sure, we fucked the first and third time,
but pretty sure we did something else the second and fourth.”

“What did we do, make love?” she scoffed.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Drake,” she sighed, “I’m not the girl for
you.”

“Well that’s where I beg to differ, honey,” I
drawled. “I am pretty sure we fit pretty damn perfectly.”

“Yeah, we have terrific sex, but in everyday
life, come on, all we do is fight.”

I shook my head, she really didn’t see
it.

“No, Mags, I mean—” I was interrupted when my
cell started ringing. “Damn it, I got to get that.”

I tracked my jeans in her bedroom and pulled
out my cell to look at the caller id. “Whatcha need, Devi?”

“Did you fix it?”

“How the hell did you know I went over to
Mags'?”

“Uhm, because I know you.”

“Yeah, well I showed up, and found out Mags
is sexy as hell when she orgasms.”

She groaned. “I don’t want to hear about your
nocturnal emissions, Drake.”

“Well you asked?”

“No, I asked if you fixed it not if you
fucked her.”

“Man, I never realized she could be so
submissive.”

“I swear to god, Drake, I will start telling
you about me and Seth.”

“I mean when I bent her over—”

“So last night, Seth handcuffed me to the D
rings we have in our bedframe then forced me on my knees and ate me
like—”

“Okay, shut up, Devi.”

She started laughing. “Turnabout and all
that.”

“I am trying to fix it, okay?”

“Bring her over for Christmas breakfast. We
are having a little pow wow over how to handle this crap as well as
opening presents since we didn’t get to last night.”

“Fine,” I said guess we could talk
later—again. “We’ll be over in a little while.”

“K, see you soon, bro.”

Chapter 18

Mags

“That was Devi; she wants us to come over for
breakfast and to open Christmas presents since we didn’t get to
last night,” Drake said walking back into the kitchen.

“Fine, I will get us ready and meet you over
there.” I told him not looking at him but instead paying attention
to Quinn.

“Fine,” he said then walked out of the
kitchen. A few minutes later, I heard my front door slam and his
truck rev.

“Well, jellybean, it looks like it’s just us
now, huh?” I asked kissing her fuzzy head.

I walked into the living room where I had set
up a small Christmas tree and pulled out the gifts I had bought for
Quinn; everyone else’s were at Devi’s house. I sat down with Quinn
and had a quiet first Christmas with my daughter opening her gifts
for her. I hadn’t gotten her much, some clothes and toys. I knew it
was more for me than her this year but I couldn’t pass up the
chance to spoil her a little. After the presents were opened, I got
us ready to head over to Devi’s where I am sure the chaos of
Christmas had already started with everyone running around. So very
different from the life Quinn and I led, I thought looking around
my empty house.

I pulled into Devi and Seth’s very full
driveway and couldn’t believe the amount of people who appeared to
be here. I noticed Drake’s truck and couldn’t help feeling a little
sad with the way things went this morning between us. I didn’t know
why I was self-sabotaging the first real relationship in my life,
other than I really didn’t think it would turn out well, and I
couldn’t lose the closest thing to a real family I had over it. I
glanced back at Quinn, no I couldn’t risk it. It wasn’t just about
me anymore.

After getting Quinn out of my car, I headed
towards the door and I could already hear the yelling, laughing;
this is what a family sounded like, and it was the closest thing
Quinn and I had to one. I walked in and found people everywhere,
some in the kitchen cooking, others chasing a laughing Jaks while
he rode his new bike around the house, others still laughing and
music playing from the family room. So, general chaos one expected
on a Christmas morning. I headed towards the kitchen to see if they
needed any help there.

“Well, there you are,” said Devi when I made
it to the kitchen.

“Yeah, we just got here,” I said, taking my
coat off.

“So how has your morning been?”

“Good, Quinn and I opened her gifts and then
came over here.”

Devi nodded. “Uh huh, and was that before or
after you fought with Drake?”

“How did you know Drake and I fought?”

“Other than him acting like a jackass since
he got here?”

“Oh, sorry.”

She shrugged. “Whatever, go hand Quinn off to
someone and come help us cook.”

“Okay, be back in a few,”

I passed people murmuring hellos and Merry
Christmas back to them, but never really feeling like I belonged
amongst them. I hated feeling like this, but it’s how I always felt
during the holidays, with my mom, we never really celebrated them.
She was always more concerned with her latest boyfriend than making
sure I had a good Christmas, and I had vowed my kids never felt
like that. That they would know what having a family felt like, and
I was failing my child because this wasn’t our real family, we
didn’t have one.

I walked into the family room and found Sam,
Seth, Drake, and Eli all sitting around playing guitars while
watching Jaks and Cait play on the living room floor with their new
toys and wrapping paper. It looked like they were enjoying the
paper more than the toys with the way they were both giggling. I
couldn’t help but smile at the scene they made together, the doting
big brother and the enamored baby sister. I could imagine Drake and
Devi looking like that when they were little, hell, at times, they
still looked at each other like that.

“Hey Mags, Merry Christmas,” said Seth.

I glanced up at him and noticed that Drake
was looking at me. “Hey Seth, Merry Christmas to you too,” I
murmured quietly.

“You okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine; do you guys mind keeping an
eye on Quinn so I can help Devi in the kitchen?”

“Nope, just plop her down with the other two
heathens.”

“Thanks,” I said and put her car seat down
and quickly scurried out of the room and away from Drake's stare.
This was going to be a long morning.

Drake

After breakfast, we all congregated around
the Christmas tree and began the long process of passing out gifts.
I had never seen a mountain of gifts like this one before, but then
again we had amassed a large amount of friends and family
throughout the years. I glanced around and saw Seth’s band, most of
the guys from the shop Devi worked at and a few other friends. This
was my family, they had been there for Devi and I went no one else
had been. Most would disperse after this to go spend time with
their families and I wasn’t sure what I would end up doing with the
rest of my day.

I would have spent the day with Devi, Jaks,
and Mags before Seth came back and Mags had Quinn but now I was a
little a drift with everyone having a family of their own. I would
have loved to be able to go home with Mags and Quinn but I didn’t
see that happening now with the way things had gone earlier this
morning. What had started out as a terrific Christmas morning had
quickly deteriorated and I didn’t know how to fix it. I glanced
over at Mags and saw her cuddling a sleepy Quinn, she was smiling
and acting like everything was fine but I could see through the
act. She was just as lost as I was but she wouldn’t let me in.

Everyone dove into unwrapping their gifts,
while watching Jaks and his exuberant reactions to everything he
had gotten. We all seemed to go a little crazy when buying for the
kids, but we couldn’t help ourselves, they were all so cute. I kept
an eye on Mags, wanting to see her reaction when she got to the
gift that Quinn and I had got for her in Seattle. It wasn’t
anything big; I had found a charm that had said #1 Mom on it and I
couldn’t help myself. While on the road with the band, I found a
few other charms that made me think of Mags and added to the
bracelet. I just hoped that she like it.

Jaks was up dancing around while waving some
kind of toy when I heard Mags gasp. I looked over at her and found
her staring at me with tears trailing down her cheeks. I wanted to
go over and hug her but I knew she wouldn’t let me so instead I
just offered her a smile, which she didn’t return. Instead she
stood up and left the room, I looked over at my sister and she
offered me a smile, but it didn’t help. Shortly after that everyone
started heading off to their other engagements, I took that as my
own exit and slipped out and headed home for the rest of the day,
alone.

Chapter 19

Mags

I pulled into the driveway of Devi’s house
and saw Drake getting out of his truck. I didn’t know why he was
here; I hadn’t seen him since yesterday morning. When I had come
back to the family room almost everyone had left, including Drake
so I never got to thank him for the amazing gift he had given me. I
had needed some time away from everyone after I had opened it. He
had given me the perfect present, and I didn’t know what to think
about that.

We had left shortly after that and Devi had
called me this morning to come over and talk about some of the
legal stuff that was going on; I guess Drake was coming over for
the same reason. I opened the door and got out of the car to find
Drake already pulling Quinn’s car seat from the back seat.

“Morning, Drake.”

“Morning, Mags.”

I reached over and put a hand on his arm and
looked up at him. “Thank you for the beautiful bracelet,” I
murmured.