Authors: Monica Alexander
“We still have time
,” I said, trying
to sound positive
.
I also knew he was referring to much more than our time together. There was a deadline looming that he didn’t want to think about, but what made it worse
was that he didn’t know when that
deadline actually was.
“It’s not just that,” he said, and I knew
he was thinking the same thing as me.
I
reached out and look his hand.
“I’ll be
t
here for you
, Zack,” I said, “no
matter w
hat happens. I’ll come out
and stay with you, if you want me to.
I’
ll help you get through it. You won’t have to be alone
.”
He tugged my arm just a bit, pulling me toward him.
“Thank you,
”
was all he said
, but by saying that, it almost affirmed that he wanted then same thing as me
.
He wanted us to stay together.
Then he kissed me, long and deep, lavishing me with his undivided attention as he showed me just how much he wanted me
to be
with him. We ended up side by side on the blanket.
He looked right at me, stroked the side of my c
heek and told me how amazing I was
before
taking
off
his shirt and then my dress.
Afterward, he held me close
and we looked up at the stars.
We were quiet for a while
.
“Was it worth it?
” he asked me, breaking the silence.
“Was what worth it?”
I asked, looking up at him.
“Taking a chance with me,” he said softly, kissing the top of my head.
“Not thinking, going with your gut?”
“It was the best chance I’ve ever taken,” I said
, snuggling cl
oser to him and breathing in his familiar scent
.
“I agree.”
I smiled and felt him do the same, and we were silent for a few more minutes.
“Princess
?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you give any more thought to what I said that first night we talked – on the steps?”
“What do you mean?”
I’d pushed aside a lot of how he was
that night, attributing it to him being upset. I didn’t
want to read into it too much.
He’d had his bad days since, and I knew how hard it was to see him like that, so I tried not to remember.
His mom was sick, she was dyin
g
,
and he had a front row seat.
It couldn’t be easy, and
I knew that, so I didn’t hold his moodiness
against him.
“When we talked about how yo
u were unhappy with your life.
I told yo
u to go after what you wanted.
Ha
ve you figured out what exactly that is
?”
I shook my head. “Not yet, but we’ll see. I kind of like that I don’t know exactly what I’m doing next. It’s the first time in my life that I don’t have everything figured out, and it’s really liberating. I’m kind of excited
about what this next year is going to hold
.”
“You’re still going ba
ck to school right?”
I nodded. “Yeah, absolutely. I’ve worked way too hard to not finish, but my life after graduation hasn’t been sorted out yet
, and where
as that would have made me panic in years past, I’m actually really happy about it.”
He hugged me tighter.
“
Good.
I
want you to be happy. You really do have a great life, and I’d hate for you not to realize it.”
I looked up at him
, and could see how much he truly cared about me. “I’
m
happy
, Zack.”
He kissed me.
“I’m glad.”
I hugged closer to him, loving every second of being with him
.
“Will you
pl
ay for me?” I asked.
He held my hand up to his mouth and kissed i
t.
We disentangled ourselves from each other, and had a slightly awkward moment while we locat
ed our clothes and got dressed.
I shivered inadvertently, realizing it was a little chilly
.
Zack handed me the
Duke
U
niversity sweatshirt
he’d been wearing, and I put it on, loving that it smelled like him.
He leaned against the mouth of the cave, looking amazing in his jeans, white t-shirt and bare feet with his guitar in hand.
“Okay, what will it
be ma’am,” he said, using the enhanced southern accent he used when
he played for the crowd at Phil
’s.
“
That song,”
I said
,
pointing to his arm
.
“
Jump.
I want to hear you play it.
And then this, I said, pointing to the script tattooed on his rib cage that I’d read more times than I could count. It was about falling in love, and it gave me hope for the future.
Zack took the pick from his mouth before launching into
the mo
s
t beautiful
song
about
putting everything on the line and not holding back because you never knew how much time you had left. It
sounded a little too much like his life to not make me shiver
, but then again, I’d probably guess that most of his songs were based in reality to some extent.
“Rach?” I called
softly
as I walked upstairs, thinking she must be up
there, probably still asleep since
it was
still
early
.
She was going to kill me.
I walked down the hall, flip flops
in
hand, toward my bedroom door.
I was sneaking back in after
spending the night out.
Zack and I had fallen asleep under the stars an
d hadn’t woken up until
morning.
I was dying to tell Rachel about my night, so even if she was asleep, she was getting woken up.
Surprisingly enough,
when I reached
my bedroom door I saw that
it w
as open, and the bed was made. Okay, that was strange.
Rachel
was never up this early unless she had to,
and she
didn’t make beds.
I surveyed the room, looki
ng for telltale signs that my messy best friend
b
een there, but here were none.
Her little clutch wasn’t on the nightstand, and t
he clothes she’d worn the night before were not on the f
loor as they should have been.
I could feel the an
xiety creeping up in my chest.
I knew letting Chase t
ake her home had been a mistake
.
Just when I’
d started
to be able to trust him, he went and lost my best friend. Great.
Typical Chase.
Infuriated, I stor
med down the hall to his room.
The door
was closed, and all was quiet.
He was definitely still sle
eping.
Not bothering
to knock, I turned the knob,
flung the door open
,
and nearly had a heart attack.
“Oh, my G
od!” I gasped
,
my hand flying to my mouth
,
when I realized he wasn’
t alo
ne.
My eyes bugged out of my head as I surveyed the scene in front
of me.
Chase, sleeping soundly, his chin tucke
d down, so it was resting on a
girl’
s
head. S
he was tucked into him, her arm was draped over his chest, and her
dark hair
was
splayed
out on the pillow behind her.
I couldn
’t believe what I was seeing – Rachel and my brother in bed –
and I couldn’t hold it together.
“What the hell
is this
?!” I screamed through gritted teeth
,
as quietly as I could
,
as not to alert my parents who were drinking coffee and reading the paper on the back porch.
My voic
e did, however, succeed in waking up the sleeping couple before me.
Chase’s eyes
slo
wl
y
opened, and I could see he was startled
.
He tried to keep his arm around
Rachel
, but she sat up in bed so fast that his grip slipped away.
“Oh, my G
od,” I said
again
, turning around and cover
my eyes,
as I realized that she was top
less.
“Shit,” I heard her say, as she scrambled to pull the covers
up and
over her
again
.
“Chase, what the hell,”
I said, from my turned around
position
.
“Please tell me you’re not naked.”
“We are,” he sai
d, and I knew he was grinning.
Next to him Rachel
groaned in
embarrassment.
“It’
s cool, you can turn around now,
”
he said. “We’re sufficiently covered.”
“I don’t want to,” I said, not wanting to
see what I’d just seen again.
Not that it would ever be unburned from my brain, but that was beside the point.
Rachel was in bed with my brother!
“Em, it’s fine,” he said. “It’s no big deal.”
“
It is a big deal!” I insisted.
“The last thing I want to
think about is you having sex – e
sp
ecially with her!” I spun around then, the anger I felt for
my brother
for
being a callous asshole boiling up to the surface.
Rachel was turned on her side, covered by the sheets and had he
r head half-buried in Chase’s chest.
I could tell she was mortified.
On
the
floor of Chase’s room, I could see the trail of clothing that had
been
hastily discarded in the dark the night before, along with a condom wrapper that w
as just visible under the bed.
Seeing that set me off.
“I canno
t believe you did this, Chase.
You
are such an asshole.
All I asked was for you to take her home, but you had to go and take advantage of
the fact that she was wasted. What is wrong with you?!
You hav
e a girlfriend for G
od’s sake.
And Rachel, what the hell were you thinking?!
What about Michael?!
”
No one said a word
, but then I realized Chase
w
as w
hispering something to Rachel.
She looked like
she was on the verge of tears.
She said something to him that I couldn’t understand.
“Em, ca
n you give us a minute?” he asked
.
“I – c
an I gi
ve you a minute?” I screeched.
“Are you serious?”
Chase looked at me intently.
“Yes.
Please.
”
His tone was so definitive that, fuming as I was, I
stepped out into the hallway.
“I’ll be in my room,” I said, as I closed the door behind me.
As I walked the
twenty
steps to my bedroom door,
I realized
I was shaking.
In all the years I’d dealt with Chase’s shit, I had never had
to deal with something like this
. I knew what had happened.
Rachel had been wasted, she’d probably flirted with him on the way home
,
and he’d taken advantage of her.
He was such an asshole
!