Authors: Monica Alexander
“Um, well, I’ve heard words like psycho and crazy bitch, but I’ve also heard you being touted as a hero, since so many pe
ople feel
like she had it coming.
It’s pretty much a fifty-fifty split, but I think you breaking up with Ben might have cau
sed more of an opinion change.
A lot of girls aren’t your biggest fan
, but some love you since he’s now on the market
.”
I waved my hand is dismissal. “Oh well
. Fuck ‘em. I’ll never see most of them again after this summer
anyway.
”
“Wow,” Rachel said, pushing
her sunglasses up on her head.
“You re
ally have changed this summer.
I like it.
”
I
smile
d back at her.
I liked it too.
“
Are you talking about me
, princess?” Zack asked, sneaking up behind us and leaning down to kiss me.
I saw Rachel’s
questioning stare when
he
pulled away, but thankfully she didn’t ask where the nickname had come from.
“We were just talking about high school,”
she
said. “Sorry to disappoint you.”
“Aw, that’s no disappointment. I don’t need Emily airing all my secrets anyway,” he said, winking at me. He was so darn cute. “Don’t stop on my account though. I’d rather like to hear all about Emily in a cheerleading uniform, although I’m not sure I can picture you bouncing around and yelling to the crowd to ‘get fired up’.”
Rachel laughed
a big, raucous laugh. “Please, Emily was Ms. Cheerleader.”
Zack shook his head. “Not the Emily that I know,” he said, pulling me closer to him an
d kissing my neck, making me feel
all gooey inside. “Too bad you don’t have that uniform here. I’ve never made out with a cheerleader before.”
“Really?” I asked, thinking that as hot as he was, he definitely would have
been part of the popular crowd.
“Nah, I sort of d
id my own thing in high school.
I was in a band, so
the
c
heerleaders weren’t exactly into that scene.”
I could
totally
picture Zack as an indie-rocker in high school, wearing all black and not really fitting in with the populace at his Asheville high school.
“Wait
a minute
,” Rachel said, sitting
up quickly and looking at Zack.
“
Y
ou were in a band?”
He nodded. “Yeah, for about two
years. We sucked though. We only played a few parties here and there, but we thought we were hot shit.”
Rachel squinted at him, as if she was trying to figure something out that didn’t quite fit. By the way Zack was looking at her it seemed he knew she was onto him. I was lost trying to figure out what insight Rachel had gleaned and what Zack could be holding back, my gaze shifting back and forth between the two of them.
“What was the name of your band?” Rachel asked.
“Out of Dodge,” Zack said, coolly.
“You went to Duke right?” she
asked in full-on detective mode.
“Yes,” Zack said, and I could tell he was uncomfortable with her questioning. I wanted to tell her to back off, but part of me wanted to find out what her angle was.
“Were you in a band while you were at Duke?”
Zack hesit
ated for a moment before saying
curtly,
“Yes, but we stopped playing together when my mom got sick
again
last year.
”
“What was the name of your band
, Zack
?”
Rachel asked, completely side-step
ping the awkward revelation he
had just shared. I could tell it was his way of telling her to stop with
the third-degree, but she ignored him
.
I could hear the intrigue in her voice
, so I knew she wouldn’t stop
until she confirmed what she was thinking
.
“
Liar’s Edge
,” Zack finally muttered.
“What?!” I said, completely taken aback by this information. He was
in Liar’s Edge? Then it hit me, and
I knew in that instant why he’d looked so familiar to me when we’d first met.
He was the lead singer.
Un-fucking-believable.
“
I knew it!
I knew you looked fa
miliar, and I totally remember
your tattoo
,”
Rachel
said,
turning to me,
a
self-s
atisfied smug
look
on her face as
if she had
solved a giant mystery.
I gaped at her in disbelief since she
obviously
couldn’t see how this revelation was tearing me to pieces.
“He was totally hanging out in kitchen shirtless the next morning.”
“Unbelievable,” I said, shaking my head back and forth while glaring at Zack.
I watched all the color drain from
his
face as he sta
red at Rachel,
and
I’m pretty sure he was
wondering when they’d slept together
and why he thought I was suddenly upset
. He blinked a few times before shifting his gaze over to me, his mouth hanging open slightly as if he wasn’t quite sure how to broach this realization with me.
“Relax,” I said
coldly
. “
She slept with Derrick, not you, but it might have been nice if you’d told me you were in Liar’s Edge when I was going on and on about how much I loved them. It might have been prudent to say, ‘Hey, that’s actually my band, and that lead singer you were lusting after was me.’ I’m just saying.
”
I was still trying to wrap my head around this new information as r
el
ief washed over Zack’s face
for a split second before he realized I was truly upset
with him
and his face fell
again
.
Rachel
, not getting the impact of what she’d just revealed,
bu
r
st out laughing
at the idea of her sleeping
with Zack
, which I didn’t think was all that funny, but
I was so
focused on Zack
that I didn’t have time to think about it. He was staring at me intently, an almost pleading look on his face, and I was staring back at him, fuming.
“Holy shit,” Rachel said, turning to me when she’d recovered. “I can’t believe you’ve been dating the lead singer of Liar’s Edge
and you didn’t tell me, but
by the look on your face, you obviously didn’t know it
until right now
.
Okay, this is awkward.
”
Zack dropped his gaze to the sand and started kicking it around with his feet.
I looked at
him
, willing him to make eye contact with me, but he wouldn’t do it.
“Zack, do you realize what a huge crush Emily had on you? Do you?
” Rachel shook her head again, and I wished she would just shut up. Couldn’t she see what was going on
between us
?
“
You’re
the
fucking lead singer of Liar’s Edge?
” I
said, rather calmly, and Zack met my gaze again
,
remorse in his eyes.
I eyes shifted to the ‘LE’ tattoo on his arm, and suddenly everything clicked. I felt so stupid! The design surrounding the letters was the same design that was on the back cover of their album. I must have looked at it a hundred times over the summer wondering why it looked so familiar to me, and the a
nswer was right there all along.
Now I knew why Zack had looked so familiar to me when we’d first met. I’d spent hours on the Liar’s Edge website two years earlier reading about the band and checking to see when their next show was scheduled. I’d seen his picture a thousand times, yet it had never clicked. Never in a million years would I ever even remotely thought that my path would cross with the lead singer of Liar’s Edge, but I guess it had.
“Yeah, I
was,” Zack said morosely, bringing me back to the present.
Why hadn’t he told me?
He’d lied to me
, or rather omitted the fact that he was the lead singer of
a band he knew I loved. What the hell was that all about?
“Em, please don’t be mad,” he said
instantly
when he saw the look on my face
.
He dropped to his knees in front of me.
“Um, yeah, so I don’t think mad is the word,” I said, the chill apparent in my voice. “I’d probably choose hurt, confused and quite honestly a little excited
only because I can’t help it
, but the other two are definitely overshadowing that last emotion.”
Zack reached for my hand
s, but I didn’t let him take them
. Next to me, I could feel Rachel watching our exchange closely, wondering what the hell was going on. I knew she wanted to ask questions, but she thankfully held back.
“Leaving Liar’s Edge w
as one of the hardest things I’ve
ever done,” Zack said quietly. “I didn’t tell you about it because I don’t like to talk about it. Simply put, I had everything I ever wanted in my reach, and I had no choice but to give it up.”
God, the look in his eyes could have killed me. I could literally see how much he hated talking about his band
, but I knew he’d left
because of his mom
, so his decision had been the right one.
“What happened?”
Rachel asked, unable to keep quiet while Zack and I worke
d through this giant thing that was now between us.
Zack sighed as he sat
down
on edge of my towel,
but he continued. “
We had been scouted pretty heavily by some labels but hadn’t committed
to any at that point
. Then I found out my mom was sick
again
, and she was all alone. I didn’t have any other choice. I
n an instant, I
gave up my dream of being a musician, so I could take care of her
, but I essentiall
y crushed the dreams of my band
mates in the process
.
It was pretty selfish of me.
”
I blanched at how hard he was being on himself.
“They didn’t understand your reasoning,” I asked, wondering who these friends of his were.
He shook his head. “No, the guys completely understood which actually made it harder. I think it would have felt better if they’d been pissed, b
ut they couldn’t have been more supportive
.”
“Do you regret it?” Rachel asked, as I silently reached out to take Zack’s hand. He looked gratefully at me as he squeezed my hand in return.
“Every day and not at all,” he said, cryptically. “The decision I made was the right one, and
I’d make it again if I had to, but i
t doesn’t mean I don’t miss the music.”
“Do you play at all?” Rachel asked, and I wanted to stop her from prying.
Zack shook his head. “Not my own stuff,” he said, wistfully. “I still write and compose music, but I haven’t played anything of mine in a while.”
I reached out and fingered the tattoo on his right forearm, the lyrics he’d written – Liar’s
Edge lyrics – lyrics he never sa
ng anymore.
I knew instantly that he hated the carefree guy he had to transform into when he played at
Phil’s Tavern
. He did it for the money, but his heart wasn’t in it.
He sang catchy cover songs because the crowd liked them, but it was writing and singing his own music that
he could put soul into.
The closest he got was when he played his guitar at the beach, b
ut even then he wasn’t singing his
own
stuff
.
He looked up at me in surprise, before his gaze drifted to where my fingers traced over his arm, and then he met my gaze
again. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I wanted to tell you. I really did, but I just couldn’t.”
I sighed. “It’s okay,” I said, giving him a small smile which he returned
before he leaned in and kissed me
.