Authors: Monica Alexander
I nodded.
“I wanted a ring all al
ong. Rachel gave it to me
.”
“It’s cute,” he said. “Just like you
, princess
.”
I’d succumbed to the fact that Zack thought I was
cute
and sweet and a ‘good girl’
, and I let him call me princess
. I honestly
sort of liked it when it was him saying it
.
“Oh,
you
so
must b
e Zack,” I heard Rachel
say from
behind me.
I jumped in f
right, not having heard her sneak up on
us.
I looked over to see her standing there, a wide smile on her f
ace and her hands on her hips.
I couldn’t see her expression from behind her big celebrity sunglasses, but I could tell
she
enjoyed
catching us.
Next to her Chase looked visibly more relaxed and visibly stoned.
“I am Zack,” Zack
said, running a hand through his dark hair.
I watched it flop back down, half in his eyes, in that sexy way it did when he was playing the guitar and so in tune with the music that he forgot about everything else.
“Well, I’m Rachel,” Rachel said, “and I
approve.”
Zack laughed
and put his arm around me, pulling me close again
.
“Okay, good to know.
Nice tat, by the way.
”
“Thanks,” Rachel said. “You too.”
Zack looked down at the large ove
rlapping ‘LE’ tattoo on his arm that
I’d just assumed it was his mother’s initials.
It was surrounded by some intricate design work that I loved to trace when Zack was shirtless.
“Thanks,” he muttered
, and I hoped Rachel wouldn’t pry. I’d told her about
Zack’s mother, but I knew he would
n’t want to talk about her situation
.
“Hey, that is cool,” Molly said, leaning down to inspect Rachel’s stomach. “One of yours?”
I looked up to see her directing her question at Chase. I looked at him in question as he froze for a few seconds.
“Um, no, not one of mine,” he mumbled, pulling a cigarette out of his pack.
He concentrated on lighting it
,
as I stared at him in wonder. I had absolutely no idea my brother designed tattoos.
He was a freaking mystery to me
still
,
after all the time we’d
spent together that summer.
Zack set about making introductions, pointing to everyone in turn.
“And, this is my friend, Derrick,” he said last, and I heard Rachel gasp.
I think she finally noticed the cute blond guy who’d been smirking at her since she’d walked up. I watched her swallow hard, as she said a hushed hello to him, and I reminded myself to remind her that she had a boyfriend when everyone else was out of earshot.
After a
few
hour
s
of baking in the sun
, Molly
, Derrick
and Chase left to smoke
.
Jared,
Leo
,
Reagan
and Keely
were hitting a
volleyball back and forth in the surf
,
and Zack had gone back to the house to check on his mo
m, so Rachel and I were alone.
“Oh, my God,” she breathed, letting her head fall back as if she was exhausted.
“What?” I asked, peering at her over my aviators.
“That guy – Derrick.”
“He’s cute,” I said, stealing a glance back up the beach where he was just disappearing aroun
d
the
side
of
our
house behind my brother.
“He’s also the drummer for Liar’s Edge,” she said, shaking her head back and forth.
“Shit!” I said, sitting up straight. “The guy you slept with who never called you?
I thought he had longer hair.
”
Rachel raised an eyebrow at me
.
“Well, he obviously cut it, but I’d remember him anywhere. That bloody piranha tattoo on his stomach is pretty unique.
”
She made a sour face.
“Shit,” I said again, for lack of anything better
that would
fit that bombshell.
“Do you think he remembers you? It was like two years ago.”
“Oh, he does,” she said. “He’s been smirking at me knowingly all day, and I just know he’s picturing me naked. This sucks!”
“Wow, you must have been pretty memorable,” I said, wondering just how talented my best friend was in the bedroom.
“It’s was a good night,” she said, a bit of nostalgia creeping i
nto her voice. “This seriously sucks.
”
“Why? So you slept with him. Who cares?”
She shook her head, and mumbled something incoherent, and I knew I needed to change the subject.
Rachel was about to lose it.
So I asked her
what I’d really wanted to know
but
had been afraid to ask
each time we’d talked
.
“How’s Ben?” I asked, holding my breath slightly.
She just raised her eyebrows at me.
“I’m serious. How is he?”
I’d actually thought about Ben
a lot
since our
last conversat
ion. My anger at him
had dissipated
just a little
, and
the part of me who’d loved him for so many years wanted to know if he was okay.
“He’s alright
,” Rachel said, not looking over at me.
I knew her mind was still on Derrick.
“Care to elaborate?”
She
finally looked
at me.
“I could,” she said, being vague.
“Ple
ase,” I said
, feeling like
I really needed to know.
She rolled over onto on
e elbow and propped herself up.
“Well, i
t was bad for about two weeks.
He was drinking a lot – you know, out of control at parties and stuff, and he wouldn’t shut up about you and how you bro
ke his heart and
how much
he loved you. He kept ho
unding me for details about ‘the asshole you cheated on him with’,” she said, using air quotes and
a
really dramatic deep voice to imitate Ben. It sounded nothing like him.
My face fell a little at the thought of how broken up he was. No pun intended
– seriously
.
“I didn’t give anything up, don’t worry,” Rachel assured me.
“You didn’t have t
o do that
.
”
“
I figured it would be better just to let it go,” she said, and she was probably right.
“God, I feel so bad that he was hurting. It’s the only part I regret.”
“Well, let me finish.
You might change your mind
.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at her.
“Well, one night a few weeks ago, he shows up at
Olivia Carlson’s house with – drum roll please – Ashleigh Ballast!”
“No way!
” I said, sitting all the way up.
Rachel nodded, s
miling conspiratorially at me. “Yup, he did.
She was all smiling and smug and telling everyone they were to
gether. He wasn’t denying it.
The
n they
were practically going at it on the
couch later that night, so it was sort of confirmed
.”
“
I never actually thought he would stoop that low,” I said, shaking my head.
Rachel waved her hand in dismissal. “Yeah, well, I assume that he
was upset, and she was there, h
e fell, and she caught him – right between her thighs.”
I swatted Rachel with the back of my hand. “Ew! Do you really have to be so vulgar?”
“
Yes, I do. So anyway,
ever since then, they
’ve been making out everywhere.
It’s disgusting.
I’m not
convinced he’s fully over you.
If you want my opinion, I think Ashleigh’s just providing him with a
nice
distraction.
”
“Wow,” I said, for lack of anything better.
I was not surprised, but at th
e same time, I was dumbstruck.
Ben, my Ben, had stooped low enough to go out with Ashleigh.
Of course, he wasn’t my Ben anymore, so I didn’t really have a say in what he did. But I at least expected him to
have better
taste than that.
“Hey,” Rachel said, sensing my change in mood like only a best friend can. “He could only go downhill from you, you know that, right?”
I nodded.
“Yeah, it’s just weird,
you know? I was with him for so long.
I can’t picture him with someone else, let alone her.”
“Do you
miss him,” she asked, posing an
honest question.
I shrugged, then nodded.
“In som
e ways, yes, but more as a friend.
I do
n’t have the same feelings I used to have
for him
.
I compare him to Zack, and there’s no contest, but i
t’s just hard when someone is in your life for so long, and then they’re not. It was easy to push him out of my mind here when I didn’t have to see him, but i
t’
ll be weird when we get back to school
.”
Rachel nodded
but I wasn’t c
onvinced she fully understood.
She’d never had a serious boyfriend,
and she’d never been in love.
It was hard to imagine
when
someone who was the center of your universe,
who you basically worshiped, was
no longer even in your li
fe. I wasn’t sure I would be all that okay
once I saw Ben again.
“If you want my opinion, I think Ben is just fi
lling time until you get back.
My guess is that he’s heart-broken and embarrassed that he got dumped
, so he’s trying to save face.
I would be
t
anything that if you offered to take him back, he would
go in a second.
You can tell he doesn’t really like Ashleigh
that much
.”
“Really,” I said
, not sure how I felt about that
.
“Come on, Em, You
know Ben.
He’s upset, but he doesn’t want anyone to see it.”
I swallowed hard.
I
hadn’t wanted to hurt him
, but it
had been sort of inevitable.
When I didn’t say anything, Rachel got concerned. “You’re not thinking of taking him back, are you?”
I looked away from the
far off point in the middle of the ocean that I’d been focusing on and looked
over
at her
, shaking my head. “No, I’m not.
I
just
feel bad
.
I still care a
bout him, that’s all.”
Rachel put her arm around m
y shoulder and half-hugged me.
“I know, but at the same time, if you fell out of love with him, then you shouldn’t have felt obligated to stay with him.
You got back to
gether with
him out of obligation before
, and look how well that worked out for you.”
She had a point.
“Besides, Zack is pretty cool.”
She nudged me
slightly, making me smile. “See, you did the right thing.
Zac
k makes you happy. I can tell.
A
nd
I like him – double bonus.
He seems like a great guy.
”
“He is,” I said, smiling
widely, my mind flitting to having to say goodbye to him in just two weeks. I wanted more time
.
“Okay, so I have to know,
” I said, changing the subject before I got emotional. “W
hat is everyone saying about me haul
ing off and hitting Ashleigh?”