As I Close My Eyes (7 page)

Shannon had called to say that she was staying with Brad all weekend since his parents were out of town. She wanted me to lie if anyone asked about where she was so they’d think we went back to Gainesville to hang out with some college friends together.

“
You have to make sure you don’t run into my mama anywhere around Sugar Hill this weekend. Stay inside,” she demanded.

“
You’re overreacting.”

“
No, I don’t think I am. I know you. Just don’t get me caught.”

It was the perfect set-up for my weekend. I could go to The Falls and magically bump into Mr. Tallulah somewhere. Mama and Bill would never know. I could use the same lie and if either of our parents talked, they’d get an identical story.

I couldn’t believe the thought even crossed my mind. I didn’t actually think anything would come of the trip, but at least I’d get some time away by myself.

So that I didn’t repeat the wardrobe disaster of last weekend, I packed carefully, picking out my best clothes, which honestly looked pathetic compared to the styles that Shannon could throw together. As I placed things in my bag, I kept wondering how ridiculous I would seem if I actually found this mystery man in Tallulah. He didn’t even know me and besides that, he was way out of my league based on the brunette he’d had on his arm at the restaurant. Oh
-
there was that, too. He might have a girlfriend.

I headed down to the living room to deliver the lie to Mama and Bill. Lying wasn’t something I made a habit of doing and I hoped they believed me. I threw my bag into the Ford Focus I’d had since senior year of high school and drove off on my way to Tallulah Falls, Cabin #10.

By the time I left the house, it began to rain and the clouds made it seem like early evening. I could make this journey blindfolded though. Heading out of Sugar Hill, I passed old historical buildings that dated back to the Civil War and new streetlights made to look old. Vines crawled up the sides of several brick buildings and people sat on their porches rocking in their chairs. The beautifully landscaped park at the town’s entrance was built last year. It quickly became a popular place for families to host summer parties and served as a meeting spot for local middle school kids.

As I drove out of town, I realized I really hadn’t had much time to myself since the accident. I turned on the radio and took in the cool summer air. It was nice to have time to think. I glanced in the rearview mirror and realized the colors in my face started to become a lighter shade of blue from the bruises.

I was excited and very nervous about what the weekend might bring. If nothing happened between Mr. Gorgeous and me, at least I’d have a few days to relax by myself - something I desperately needed.

After an hour of driving, I made my way to the cabin and turned on the TV to lull myself to sleep.

*  *  *

“
Caroline, are you okay?” Robert asked. “You’ve been staring off into space for about ten minutes now.”

“
Yes. I’m sorry, my dear.”

“
When you tripped, you must have hit your head pretty hard. Why don’t you go and lie down on Mrs. Bigsley’s couch?” Mother said.

I followed her instructions and lay down on an ornate couch covered in bright floral fabric. I wasn’t asleep for long before I felt Robert lift me into his arms and carry me out the door.

I pretended to be asleep because the feel of his arms holding me up made a protective shield around my entire body. I didn’t want to talk. I just wanted to feel the strength in his arms, which cradled my waist and shoulders. He made me feel very safe.

We made our way to his house, where my mother and sister were already in bed, having left as soon as I closed my eyes. Robert put me down in the room where Rebecca slept. He laid me in the bed next to her and covered me with thick blankets. The brass bed made several squeaking sounds as he set me down.

Robert shut the door slowly and I waited a few minutes before I was sure he went downstairs. I lit a candle that stood on the nightstand between our beds and looked around the darkness, trying not to wake Rebecca. The wide planked wood floor beneath my feet creaked with every step. Striped wallpaper covered the walls with several paintings of the ocean. The room was sparse, with two small beds up against one wall and an elaborate dresser occupying another. A brass framed certificate of some sort hung above the dresser. As I got closer with the light, I could see that it was a diploma from Georgetown Law School. My eyes scanned the document, and at the bottom and I could see a date - 1873.

Oh my God, I thought. The 1870s. It took a moment for me to take it all in. I continued to walk the room and looked for more clues as to where I was since I now knew
when
I was.

A small window overlooked the ocean outside. Robert’s house was situated a few blocks back from the sea and was hardly prime oceanfront property. The quilts on the beds looked handmade with faded blocks of fabric stitched elegantly by hand rather than machine.

I felt like I was beginning to stay longer in this world. There was some reason I came here every day and I desperately needed to know what it was. At first, I just thought it was a reaction to the fall, but I was starting to think that these dreams served some greater purpose.

I opened the top dresser drawer, knowing what would be inside. Handkerchiefs. I withdrew the fine silk, patterned in violet flowers, and my mind handed me a note, a picture of myself with a handkerchief around my head, laughing and holding hands with Robert.

I wandered the tiny space, inspecting the grain of the wooden furniture with my fingers and the feel of the wallpaper pulling back from the walls. I recalled the day Robert and I put up the wallpaper in the room. I had spilled glue on the floor, creating a dark patch amid the golden floorboards. I glanced down and the memory was confirmed; the dark stain was right where it should have been.

I stirred under the heavy blankets for most of the night, trying desperately to fall asleep. The smell of smoke coming through the walls of the house overtook the room. I tossed and turned, wondering how long I’d stay here this time. Even though I was exhausted from the mental mind games, I couldn’t get my body to relax. Soon it was dawn.

As the sun came up, the damage the fire had caused became very apparent. It had taken down some of the major hotels and historical homes, including my mother’s, and wiped out several blocks of the island.
             

Rebecca slowly woke up and we got dressed to go downstairs. She had asked me to help her with the bustle of her dress. The fashions of this time were so ornate with layers and layers of ruffles and ribbons tied everywhere. Our clothing was gorgeous, but the one thing I couldn’t get quite comfortable with was how tight the sleeves on our dresses were. It felt as though I had a compressed blood pressure cuff on both arms that extended from my shoulders to my wrists at all times. As Rebecca pulled on my corset to tighten it, I let out a grunt.

“
Tight enough for you?” she asked.

“
It’s fine,” I replied as I gasped for more air.

After forty minutes of torturous dressing, we made our way down the stairs. Robert sat at a small wooden table in the kitchen reading a paper about the fire. The images of the fire left a permanent scar on Robert’s mind. He kept shaking his head as he paged through the articles, rubbing his eyes and sighing.

The kitchen was small with thick wooden cabinets and a coal stove in the corner. I was thirsty and needed to find a glass.
Cabinet next to the icebox.
I remembered, startling myself.

“
The Ocean House, Congress Hall, Columbia House ... they’re all burned to the ground. Thirty acres destroyed,” Robert said with sadness. “It’s going to take so long to clean this mess up. How did you two sleep?”

“
Just fine. Thank you,” said Rebecca. “I really appreciate you taking Mother and me in.”

“
It’s no bother. No bother at all. Now let’s see if we can find John,” said Robert. He placed the newspaper on the table, pulled me onto his lap, and kissed my cheek. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

I smiled and stared into his eyes, seeing the man Caroline loved as someone I loved as well. I touched his face with my hands, feeling coarse stubble. A picture flashed in my memory as I felt his skin. We were at a park and I was sitting under a tree with Rebecca, our parasols keeping the sun off our skin. Robert was walking with another gentleman when he caught my eye. They approached us and Rebecca and I stood to greet them. The feeling I had when I first saw Mr. Tallulah was the same feeling Caroline had when she first caught sight of Robert: breathless.

“
Well, we should make sure we look our best for when John returns.” I turned to Rebecca. “Don’t you think, sister?”

“
That’s a wonderful idea,” Rebecca replied as she reached for my hand.

We went back upstairs to get one last look at ourselves before we had to leave. Loud footsteps coming in through the front door startled us.

“
John.”

Chapter 6

I woke up restless. I needed answers to why the dreams were happening. It was obvious the boat accident caused them, but did it also trigger something in my subconscious? I wished I could control them and make them stop. Yet a part of me didn’t want them to. I sat up in bed for a while and thought about Caroline but soon became impatient about seeing the man in the bookstore.

I stared out the window as I sat with my orange juice and syrup-soaked breakfast in the same room Shannon and I had occupied a week earlier. The sun peeked through the thick clouds, but as quickly as the rays of light escaped, another cloud would move in and block them from shining.

Would he even recognize me? I thought to myself. Would I see him in some store shopping for a ring for the tall brunette he held hands with at the restaurant? Maybe they were just friends, or she was his sister? No, that couldn’t be right. No one goes to a fancy Italian restaurant dressed like that with their sister. Snapping out of my daze, I suddenly realized the banquet room had filled up with vacationing families and it was time for me to leave.

I got in my car and drove to the café across from Something Old. It was the perfect spot to watch the townspeople go by, plus, it gave me the best view of the main street where I was sure he would venture to at some point in the day, if he was even in Tallulah.

I got a table outside with my tall latte topped with whipped cream and shaved chocolate and acted like I was reading a book. I turned a page every half hour or so, which couldn’t have been very convincing. I found myself shifting in my seat every few minutes because the wrought iron chair dug into my shoulder blades. I’d take the pain if it meant I could see him. Around noon, I went back inside the café to get a sandwich, and in the reflection of the café window, saw someone I thought resembled him in the bookstore. His silhouette suggested a proud posture and a chiseled profile. It had to be him.

I sat back down to see if I could get a clear look, but his back was to me. From the distance, I couldn’t make out if it was the man of my dreams or some random Tallulah resident. He started walking towards the front of the store and his features became clearer with every step. The man from the restaurant stood in the window and a flutter deep in my stomach arose. Why was he in the bookstore again in the middle of the afternoon on a Saturday? It occurred to me that he might work there since he asked Shannon and me if he could help us the first time we went into Something Old.

I got my sandwich and sat back down for more hours of stalking. It wasn’t long until he came out of the store. I watched as he walked down the sidewalk across the street from where I was. I clumsily sprang up from my seat and knocked over what was left of my now cold coffee, forcing the chair backwards, which made a scraping noise on the concrete below. He didn’t turn around.