As I Close My Eyes (2 page)

“
Danielle. Danielle, are you okay?” This voice I recognized. This was definitely someone I knew. Three distorted faces stared at me closely but everything was blurry, like a carnival fun-house mirror. Their foreheads were stretched and their noses blended into their skin. Giant balls of
color
took the place of where their eyes should have been. Bright sunlight splintered off the water and I squinted as I struggled to see my friends before me.

“
Do you think she’s okay?” asked Brad.

“
I really can’t tell.” Shannon had a very worried look on her face.

I looked up at Shannon from the floor of the boat, but I couldn’t get any words out. She talked to me as if I would respond. I was sure my lips moved, but no words escaped me. I tried to move my head, but a pain seared my neck, shooting down my spine. Something in my mind told me not to move or I would cause further damage to myself. I wondered how seriously I was injured. Instinctively, I wiggled each finger on my hands to make sure I could move.

“
What happened out there, Dani? One minute you were up, gliding on the skis, and then you just vanished into the water. Danielle, can you hear me?” Shannon asked.

“
This is all my fault. Oh my God, it’s all my fault,” said Eric in a panic. He always took the blame, even when he hadn’t done anything to cause a problem. “I shouldn’t have been swerving around like that. Now Dani’s hurt and it’s all because of me.” Eric got down on his knees and put his hands together in a prayer-like gesture. He rocked back and forth as he whispered to anyone above who could hear him, begging them to help me and forgive him.

“
Oh, this isn’t good,” whispered Shannon, trying in vain to get me up from the bottom of the boat as she lifted my arms upwards and tugged.

I lay there in the boat wondering what I had just experienced. Was I dreaming? Why did the old woman call me Caroline? Was that even me? I couldn’t make out what any of my friends were talking about because I was concentrating so hard on remembering the place I had visited while unconscious. Maybe that’s what it’s like when you almost die, I thought. I’ll just go home and lie down for a while. Tomorrow will be better.

Chapter 2

Brad raced the boat to shore while I shivered on the beer-soaked floor, wrapped in Shannon’s pink and white striped towel. My friends talked about taking me to a hospital but I still couldn’t get the words out that I was okay. I began to wonder how much time had elapsed between my fall and my observant friends’ realization that I had disappeared into the lake.

“
Her lips are turnin’ blue,” said Eric.

“
She’ll be okay,” replied Shannon. “It’s just because she’s in a bit of shock. Just give her some space, for Christ’s sake.”

“
I’m
-
” I tried to tell them that I was fine, but only the beginning came out.

I noticed blood on the towel around my face and assumed it was mine. Oh, yup
-
it was definitely mine. The searing pain from my nose quickly engulfed my whole head. What did I hit? A rock?

“
Damn, there’s a lot of blood.” Brad scrunched up his face and cupped his hands over his mouth. His cheeks puffed out as if he was about to puke.

Eric carefully placed me in his new red BMW, protecting my head as he moved my limp body into the backseat. I stared at the tan ceiling and caught faint wafts of the new car scent from what little sense of smell I had left in my rapidly swelling nose. Eric sped off, not even waiting for Shannon or Brad, who followed in a car behind us. Speeding on a dirt road with my head bouncing against the tan leather seats in the back probably wasn’t the best in my current state.

We pulled into the hospital minutes later. With uncharacteristic chivalry, Eric gently unfolded me from the car and carried me into the emergency room. His strength surprised me and I found myself wondering why we’d never gone out. Oh, right, there’s absolutely zero interest on either end in that department.

“
Hey! We need a doctor right now,” yelled Eric. “Anyone hear me? I need someone to tell me she’s okay.” Eric whispered the last part to himself as he stared up at the ceiling, speaking to an omnipresent being in the sky.

“
Bring her in here,” said a nurse while she pulled back the light blue curtain and revealed a flat, stiff hospital bed.

The amount of blood that poured from my face put us in the number one spot to be seen in front of several other people in the waiting room who had obviously been there for hours.

“
Lay her down on the gurney and I’ll get a doctor,” the nurse said.

“
Dani, can you hear me?” asked Eric.

“
Huh?” was all I could muster. I knew I wasn’t making any sense, and I really wanted to tell Eric about my dream. For some reason, I couldn’t get it out of my mind. It seemed so real.

A decrepit-looking doctor came into the room, hunched over and walking with a limp. “Ooooohhhh,” was the first thing to come out of his mouth. “Let’s get an x-ray of that nose.” The nurse standing next to him nodded her head in agreement.

The doctor tried to make my eyes follow a small light, but I could tell by the look on his face I wasn’t doing what he had hoped.

As they wheeled me out of the room and down the sterile hall, I heard Shannon and Brad ask the nurse at the front desk where I was.

Fluorescent lights overhead didn’t help my massive headache at all, especially since they passed by me faster than I could count them. The wheels clicked on the tile as we moved across each section of the floor. The orderly pushing the bed had a small scar on the underside of his chin and I briefly wondered how he got it.
Try to stay focused
, I kept saying to myself. Even though my vision was unclear, my other senses were heightened. The medicine smell of the hospital turned my stomach and I felt bile rise in my throat. I could hear whispers in rooms we passed of people praying over their loved ones.

In the back of my mind, the old woman still called to me ... “Caroline, Caroline.” Each time I dozed off, I returned to the boat and the fire. I heard screams of children in the distance and saw townspeople running in all directions desperate to flee the area. I tried to keep my eyes open so I could stop the dreams, but I quickly relented. The older woman was yelling something about a man named Robert, but I didn’t stay asleep long enough to figure out who he was.

The doctor and two nurses lifted me off the stretcher and placed me onto another hard bed where the x-ray began. It wasn’t long before the test was over and I soon found myself in a recovery room lined with several other patients.

The doctor approached in the distance with the x-ray image in his hands. “Well, you definitely hit that water hard, missy. You didn’t break your nose, but you absolutely did some damage from the force of the impact. Unfortunately, you have a concussion, so you’ll need to take it easy for a while.” The elderly doctor continued. “No activities for twenty-four hours and I’ll give you something for the pain. Lie here for a bit and I’ll get your discharge papers.”

Perfect. My first day of summer vacation and I end up in the hospital with dried blood face paint.

My three very loud friends pulled me out of the dream-state and woke me up with Chinese food from my favorite restaurant in Sugar Hill. The smell made me nauseous.

“
Oh, sweetie. Your nose looks awful,” said Shannon. “Don’t worry. We’ll find you the best plastic surgeon in the South to fix it.”

“
I don’t need a plastic surgeon, Shannon. I need some quiet voices.” I held my head in anticipation of someone else talking and hurting my brain. Everyone’s voices sounded as though they were holding cups over their mouths, which only made it harder to focus on the conversation because I had to acutely concentrate on every word each person was saying.

“
At least you made it longer than Eric,” said Brad.

“
Thanks so much for your words of support, Brad,” I replied. I was just glad I could communicate again.

“
Dani, I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention. It’s all my fault.” Eric’s voice trembled and his face flushed with guilt.

“
It’s okay. It was an accident. I knew I should have just stayed on the boat instead of playing daredevil on water skis. I’m not exactly the most coordinated person.”

I stared at the egg rolls I normally would have inhaled, but had to cover them with the Chinese food bag because the sight of them made me want to puke.

“
Y’all ready to go home?” The doctor said, eyeing the food on my rolling table.

“
Yup.” I couldn’t get out of the bed fast enough. It may have been a little too quick because I stumbled a bit as I stood up. Thankfully, no one noticed.

“
Your friends said you were unconscious for a few seconds before they got you out of the water, so you need someone to watch over you tonight. Are your mama and daddy home?” he asked.

“
No,” I replied.

“
I’ll take care of her,” Eric said before I could continue on with my sentence. I appreciated his concern, but could handle myself.

“
Remember, no activities for twenty-four hours and make sure she’s not sleeping for more than four hours,” the doctor told Eric. “This is very important. She could slip into a coma if you don’t watch her.”

“
Yessir. I’ll take good care of her,” he replied while the doctor exited the room.

“
You know, you really don’t have to stay tonight. I’m okay,” I told Eric from the raised hospital bed.

“
It’s no bother.” I knew I wasn’t going to convince him otherwise and the conversation caused my head to spin.

The hospital staff insisted I exit in a wheelchair after I was discharged. Eric guided me down the stark white hallways and out the enormous glass doors. At the edge of the curb, he lifted me from the wheelchair and led me to his car.

We turned down Breezewood Road and then onto Chestnut - the street I had called home for eighteen years. The white Cape Cod at the very end welcomed me with open arms. Its weathered clapboard siding deserved a fresh coat of paint, but the splinters of faded wood that had fallen on the ground, embedded in the landscaping and gave it its charm. Two Adirondack chairs sat on the porch with a faded spot on the painted deck where Walter, our 6-year-old lab, would curl up.

Mama and Bill were out of town for a wedding, so I didn’t bother calling them to tell them about the accident. I just figured they’d see it for themselves when they got home tomorrow.

Eric walked me to the door and gently kissed me on the cheek. He was treating me like a sister, the way he always had.

“
Seriously, Eric. You can go home. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I stood in the doorway with a look on my face that meant I wanted to be alone.

“
You’re so stubborn,” Eric said. “You heard the doctor. You’re not slipping into a coma on my watch.”

“
Fine.” I wasn’t happy, but he did have a point.

I was, however, happy to see Walter as I entered. His giant yellow body wiggled and spun with excitement, but I couldn’t stand to watch him since the motion made me sick. He was truly the oddest dog I had ever owned. If I left the bathroom door open when I was in the shower, Walter would almost always jump in with me and bite at the stream of water hitting him in the face. When he was a puppy, it was funny. But now that he was six, it was just annoying.