A Year in the Life of a Complete and Total Genius (7 page)

Kennedy :)

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

Sent: January 15, 17:03

Wow, Kennedy!

It sounds like your story gets better every week. I love the new twist! It reminds me of that thing that Shakespeare talked about—a dream within a dream—but I think your version is way cooler.

My story outline is still pretty rough. I'm just torn over what story to go forward with. I have so many stories almost done, but I don't know which to finish first. Anyway, maybe you could help me choose one.

Here is a list of my story ideas:

1) There is a boy who is the going to be the King, but he is too small to do anything and he is really poor. He meets a wizard who is living backward in time, and he trains the boy to become the greatest king of all time. Then the wizard ends up getting stuck in time, but the boy becomes the King anyway because he finds the sword of the True King, and then leads a really great army and falls in love with a beautiful woman who becomes queen.

2) There is a boy who lives in a society that doesn't have any memories, but he becomes the Memory Keeper for everyone in their village. He learns that his parents are part of the group of people who are making sure that no one has any memories. Then he finds out terrible things about the community and has to do something to change it.

3) There is a land over the stars where everything is very magical. A boy who lives there is the leader of a group of orphan boys and he can fly. He leaves the land and comes to New York. He meets a girl and her brothers and they have adventures with the boy. They meet pirates and mermaids and lions that can talk and stuff. They love being there, but then they realize that they would rather be at home with their parents, so after fighting with the evil guys on the island they end up flying home and being happy.

4) There are these pirate aliens that take over spaceships and then make the people in them do different things. But everyone in the spaceship gets old really fast and then they die. They don't know what to do so they go to Earth and get in the bodies of the grandparents. And then there's this change in the old people and they become really happy and energetic all the time and they start to play like kids. They take over the playgrounds, and the kids get mad. So the kids go to the elves that live under the bridge in the city and they want to get their playground back. But the elves are fighting with dragons outside the city, so they need to get the giants on their side of the fight. But the kids don't know that the dragons exist so they decide to get the dragons to help them fight the grandparents. But the grandparents all disappear and get on the alien spaceship, but they don't have enough oxygen to go back to their planet so they stay floating just above the city. So one boy who doesn't have parents realizes that the spaceship has his grandparents in it because he lives with his grandparents. Then he finds the giants and they fight the aliens, and they win. And the grandparents go back to being themselves, but they have to share their houses with the giants because the giants won the war. And then they all have to get used to having a giant living in their house.

5) Maybe something about racism.

I'd love your feedback on which one you think would be best.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: January 16, 10:59

Hi, Arthur!

You have so many ideas!!! And they are all so complicated! It's like you have the whole plot of the Hobbit trilogy or something!

I don't want to be super harsh, but um…they are pretty big plans! All of them sound like you could write like 100,000 pages on them and still not be done! A couple of them sound like other things too. Isn't your second idea the same story we studied in sixth grade? And I think your first idea is the same story as King Arthur, and idea three is a lot like Peter Pan. NO OFFENSE! Maybe I'm reading something into them! And I don't even know what happened in your last idea!! There's like 8,000 plots in that one!

As your creative writing partner, I just wanted to point that out. I don't want you to get accused of cheating later! I may want to win, but I don't want you to get kicked out as my competition LOL! ANYWAY, I always hear people say we should write about stuff we know about. Maybe you should try something more realistic. PLUS, you are so funny! You could totally win with a hilarious story about your cousin George or something!

Just a couple of thoughts from your FAVORITE writing partner LOL!

Kennedy :)

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

Sent: January 16, 15:29

Dear Kennedy,

Thanks. I will think about it. But George doesn't really do much. Whenever I see him, he's just listening to his iPod on huge headphones. He barely speaks, actually. My cousin Luke (George's brother) told me the other day that George spent the entire weekend reorganizing his DVD collection. Literally all weekend. I don't think that would make a great story.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

Interview with Robbie Zack

I interviewed Robert Zack. Here is what we talked about, which can be proven through a recording.

Arthur: What is your name?

Robbie: [doesn't say anything]

Arthur: How old are you?

Robbie: [doesn't say anything, but if you listen to the tape, you can hear him burp in my face]

Arthur: Do you like reading?

Robbie: No.

Arthur: Do you like writing?

Robbie: No, it's boring.

Arthur: Then where do you get your ideas for your stories in English class?

Robbie: Why? Do you want to
steal
them?

Arthur: Were you born a jerk? Or is your jerk-ness just because you like being a jerk?

Robbie: Were you always a copycat nerd? Or did you copy that from your mom?

Arthur: My mom's dead. Jerk.

Robbie: As if.

Arthur: It's true. She died last year.

Robbie: Oh.

End of interview.

Arthur,

I believe you can do better than this. I would like you to redo the assignment, and think carefully about some better questions. I know that you can find some common interests and values between you and Robbie. It is tricky when you find yourself talking about a difficult subject, but try and recognize that Robbie didn't know about your mother passing away. You two may have difficulties communicating with each other, but a little understanding of someone else's situation can go a long way. Please submit your new assignment to me tomorrow.

Ms. Whitehead

• • •

Robbie Zack Interview: Take Two

Here is the written version of my second interview with Robbie Zack. I recorded it again, in case you don't believe me.

Arthur: What is your favorite color?

Robbie: Red.

Arthur: What is your favorite subject?

Robbie: Drama.

Arthur: What is your least favorite subject?

Robbie: English.

Arthur: Ms. Whitehead said that you have to cooperate and do my interview.

Robbie: I am. That's not even a question.

Arthur: But you're making it suck. You're only answering with one-word answers.

Robbie: Yep.

Arthur: Fine.

Robbie: Fine.

Arthur: I'm going to fail this assignment and it will be your fault.

Robbie: Impossible. You never fail anything. You've always been good at school.

Arthur: Because I do my homework. Do you even do your homework?

Robbie: There's no point. I'm probably going to suck at it anyway.

Arthur: Can't your mom help you?

Robbie: [doesn't say anything]

Arthur: Well?

Robbie: No. I'm out of here.

Then Robbie left. I don't think you can fail me for this, Ms. Whitehead.

Arthur,

I know you're having trouble with this assignment, but I really feel that you can succeed. Mr. Everett tells me that you're one of his best newspaper journalists, so I'm sure you can come up with great interview questions. I've spoken to Robbie as well, and I'd like you to try one more time to connect with Robbie in your interview. It's so important for famous writers to be able to create very diverse characters in their stories, and it's clear you and Robbie are very different! You can take some time during class today to complete the assignment.

Ms. Whitehead

• • •

Robbie Zack Interview: Take Three

Arthur: I was told that I have to interview you again with better questions.

Robbie: I was told that I have to give you better answers, so let's get it over with.

Arthur: Good idea. First question: What kinds of stuff do you do for fun?

Robbie: Normal stuff. I don't know. Video games are my favorite, but I'm not allowed to play the good ones. I like Minecraft best. I like watching action movies. I play basketball sometimes. And soccer. I suck, but I still like it.

Arthur: You like movies. Is that why drama is your favorite subject?

Robbie: I don't know. I guess so. It's good I guess because…I don't know…I guess there are fun people in the class. And it's not hard… It's good because you get to do whatever and, like, fool around, like when I was a kid, but for a grade, and then Mr. Tan says that it's creative. It's like we're just pretending stuff that's not true, but it feels like more than that sometimes. Which is way better than doing real stuff, you know?

Arthur: But your “real stuff” isn't hard. You just got back from Hawaii. Going to Hawaii for Christmas isn't hard. What's hard about your life?

Robbie: Lots of stuff. Just because I went to Hawaii doesn't mean that life isn't hard, you know. You think you're the only one with hard stuff and that makes you think you're better than other people.

Arthur: I don't think that I'm special. You don't understand.
Your
mom isn't dead.

Robbie: No, but she might as well be. She's moving away to North Carolina without us. My dad is moving my brother and me into some ugly townhouse and we have to share a bedroom. Life sucks.

Arthur: Oh.

Robbie: Yeah.

Arthur: Um, my next question is, what kind of books do you like to read?

Robbie: I told you that I don't like to read. Well, I like comics. Do comics count?

Arthur: I guess so? I don't know. Maybe not.

Robbie: They should.

Arthur: I don't think so. They're just pictures.

Robbie: No way, man. The drawings add way more to the story because the artists are really good. Like this one about zombies? It's awesome. And it's not like all zombies are bad or nothing. They have personalities that have to be drawn in and all of them look different and you can spend hours looking at all the details on one page. You should read one. I bet you that you like it.

Arthur: I doubt that.

Robbie: I bet you will. I'm going to bring you one and then you have to read it.

Arthur: Fine. I'll read it, but I don't think I'll like it.

Robbie: Fine.

Arthur: Last question. Um, do you like knitting?

Robbie: Knitting? Like, sweaters?

Arthur: Or scarves or stuff. I mean, you can knit anything.

Robbie: That's the stupidest question I've ever heard.

End of interview.

Much better, Arthur. I'm glad to see that you and Robbie were able to work together on this assignment, and I hope you learned something too!

Ms. Whitehead

• • •

January 19th

Dear RJ,

Today was so hard! Ms. Whitehead made me do my homework like fourteen times! Well, three times, but still. It felt like fourteen. And then because of that, I was late to get to the cafeteria for lunch and I missed out on the pizza they had today. Plus, I saw Kennedy and I was just about to say hello, and then all her friends were there and I chickened out. Well, I mean, not really “chickened out.” It was just not the right time, because I didn't want her friends to hear us talking. I mean, her friend Catie makes a big deal out of EVERYTHING. Anyway, I was all ready to ask her about the drama club and how she liked it (even though I already know), and then she would get excited and start talking and then we would sit down together to eat lunch and talk about all the stuff we have in common, and it was going to be awesome, and she was going to realize how cool I am.

I wonder if Robbie has been telling her that he thinks I'm a geek. I know he thinks so, because I've never played Minecraft. And I've never been to Hawaii either. I mean, it sucks that he went because his parents were getting divorced, but the only place I went when Mom died was my grandparents' house in Balzac. And there's definitely no palm trees in Balzac. In fact, there's nothing in Balzac. Seriously. Nothing.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

Hiya, Arthur,

As you know, there is an assembly coming up to celebrate the football team's league championship. How about you take a run at some event/sports writing for the newspaper? I bet you can cover the whole nine yards in one article!

Mr. E.

• • •

ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE…

AND YOU CAN BE ON IT!!

The drama club is holding auditions for their spring production of
Romeo and Juliet
. No acting experience necessary; just come and join us on January 24th after school. Bring your flair for the dramatic, your angry soul, your romantic heart, or your funniest class clown; there are roles for everybody! Maybe you will be the next big movie star: get your start now!

• • •

January 20th

Dear RJ,

I had a dream last night that I was Romeo in the school play, and Kennedy was Juliet. It was glorious! We kissed and held hands, and everyone who saw the play said things like “You two have such chemistry!” and “You two make the most adorable couple!” Then Kennedy said, “Well, it wasn't acting, you know,” and then she kissed me again, but not onstage. It was perfect.