A Year in the Life of a Complete and Total Genius (18 page)

The prince, though, looked a bit…funny. His cape was not in the princely color of purple, but was solid black with red underneath. His hair was not tousled and curly, but slicked back against his head and very oily. He was unnaturally pale too, and his teeth were sharp and coming out of his mouth.

“You're…you're…a…” the princess whispered.

“A vampire,” the prince finished grandly. “The Prince of Darkness, at your service.”

“But you said that you were a prince under an evil spell!”

“Did I? I'm a little dyslexic. I meant that I'm evil, under a prince's spell.” The prince smiled.

The princess thought back to the pond where they had met. She gasped. “All those dead frogs and fish…that was
you
??”

The prince nodded. “And you thought they were an environmental thing like acid rain or whatever,” he chuckled. “Oh, girls. You can be so stupid!” Then in a flash he had her by the throat. “But you know, darling…princesses taste the sweetest…” and he bit into her neck with a hungry sigh.

The End

Arthur,

I was definitely surprised by your ending choice for this classic tale. Do you think that it matches with the style of the rest of the tale?

Ms. Whitehead

• • •

December 1st

Dear Reading Journal,

I read seventeen books in the Mark Freeloader series this month. Like I said, I'm a really fast reader. Luke said that I should read the “Hitchhiker” series next. I don't know what this is, but I'm hoping that it's a true story about a couple who is traveling alone at night, and they pick up a hitchhiker, but then the hitchhiker vanishes before they get to the next town. One of Luke's friends' dads had that happen to him once. So creepy… Not that I believe in ghosts. It was probably Captain Mark Freeloader saving the world in book 18! Ha!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

January 2nd

Dear Reading Journal,

I read a lot of books over the holidays. The worst book was
Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul
. My aunt gave it to me because she thought it would be soothing or something. I think it should be called
Puke for the Teenage Soul
, because that's what it made me want to do.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

March 1st

Dear Reading Journal,

I've been reading a lot of books on acting since I'll be starring in the play.
Pretending to Be Someone Else
was the best. I don't normally like nonfiction books, but sometimes you have to read them to learn stuff. A couple have really good tips on acting. For one thing, I learned a tip on seeming really drunk. To act drunk you just pretend that you have a ball on the top of your head and that you have to keep it there no matter where you walk. This makes you move your head more and take funny steps. I am going to try acting drunk today in rehearsal, which will work for the scene since I will have been at a ball so I probably had a beer.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

June 1st

Dear Reading Journal,

I've been reading graphic novels because Robbie likes them. I used to think they were for kids, but they're really cool. Robbie even thought maybe we would write one together, but I can't draw. I guess Robbie could draw and I could write. Or at least I could check his grammar…HA!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

Dear Arthur,

Wow! The sheer number of pages you've filled in your journal is impressive. Is this perhaps why you handed it in late?

I think it's wonderful that you were able to connect so deeply with what you were reading. So deeply that you've taped practically the whole journal together. It's strange that many of the only entries left for me to read are the ones you've written on the first of the month, and also seem to be taped in over other work…

I'm also confused; you may not know this, but I'm an avid science-fiction reader (something we have in common!). I went looking for this mysterious “Captain Mark Freeloader” series you speak so highly of, but strangely, I can't find it online or at the library. It's very odd that such a prolific series (eighteen books!) is so underground, don't you think? Any thoughts on these anomalies in your reading journal?

Ms. Whitehead

Dear Ms. Whitehead,

I don't think it's that strange. To be honest, I accidentally left my journal at Nicole's, and I couldn't find it anywhere. But I knew how important it was to keep writing, so I kept it separately. I strive to be the best student, and all the other stuff I taped over is just Nicole's scribbles and recipes and stuff. She had no idea it was a class assignment.

And Captain Mark Freeloader is very underground. Actually, you have to subscribe to a mailing list to get the books, and then you have to send them back again as soon as you're done. I would give you the address, but I had to promise Luke that I would never give it out, since he was never supposed to give it to me. So now you know my secret. Don't tell anyone you know about The Captain!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

Well, Arthur, I hope you got
something
out of the reading journal assignment. We'll both have to make sure that such a thing doesn't happen again next year. Maybe the lesson for you this year is to keep better track of your belongings. Next year, I expect to see more in-depth entries.

I appreciate your “honesty”—and I'll make sure that nothing about Captain Mark Freeloader ever gets out. If it becomes a hit, it won't be because of you or me spilling the beans!

Ms. Whitehead

• • •

June 29th

Dear RJ,

Last day of school tomorrow!

Dad asked me if he should sign me up for arts camp this summer. He said that a woman at his work suggested it, since her daughter used to go and really liked it. There goes my dream trip to Australia. Maybe it's for the best. I'd hate to be eaten by a shark, so far away from home. Arts camp could be cool, but I don't know. I've never been to camp before. This one has writing and painting and Dad said that they even have video cameras for us to use. I actually think I would make a really great film director. I could be the next Steven Spielberg or Ed Wood! Plus, it turns out that Robbie is going to the same camp, so that might be okay. Wait! Unless he's planning to kill me, like the guy in our story… Great. Now I'm going to have to stay away from the lake.

I wish Kennedy was going to be there, but she is leaving this weekend for Malaysia. At least, I think that's what she said. She was crying a lot. I think she also mentioned that she was going to miss her boyfriend. It was kind of a lame good-bye. Girls are so weird sometimes. I think she said she would write to me. Or at least, she said she would write back to me. Does that mean she'll be thinking of me from across the world? I hope arts camp has a good rhyming dictionary for my poetry.

My dad is going to camp too. He signed up for this wilderness yoga retreat. It sounded terrible to me. He has to do yoga three or four times a day and all this meditation in between. Not only that, but all the food is vegetarian. I hope arts camp has hamburgers. Artists eat burgers, right?

I want to take you with me, RJ, but I don't know if I'll have room in my backpack. Plus, I don't want Robbie getting his hands on you. So I might start a new RJ. I won't call him RJ though, I promise. Maybe AJ, for Arthur's Journal. I think you guys will get along, as much as journals can talk HA!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

Dear Arthur,

We've come to the end of our year together and I must say, it's been a learning experience for me too, teaching you and watching you grow! You are certainly creative in all your work. I hear that I will have you in my class next year. Since you already have a distinct writing voice, we'll focus on directing your writing properly and strengthening your organizational skills too. I expect that eighth grade will hold more creative challenges for both of us! Have a great summer, read lots of books, and write your heart out!

Sincerely,

Ms. Whitehead

Dear Ms. Whitehead,

I get it, and I don't blame you. It can be hard to work with kids as gifted as I am. It's a blessing and a curse really.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

YEAR-END REPORT CARD

Arthur was a pleasure to have in class. He participated actively in discussions and showed a keen interest in the materials studied. Arthur needs to work on meeting deadlines, respecting teacher authority, and allowing others the opportunity to share their opinions in class. I look forward to teaching him next year. Have a great summer!

Year-End Summary attached.

Arthur Bean

English 7A—Ms. Whitehead

Year-End Summary