A Year in the Life of a Complete and Total Genius (14 page)

Peer Tutoring Program—Progress Report

Session: April 27th

Worked On: Novel Response

Artie helped me choose a book that I liked and we worked on an outline of a dairy response for Harris Burdick. Hes a guy whose in a book by Chris Van Allsburg but hes not really in the book he only has his name on the cover.

—Robbie

Robbie and I talked about how much better Ms. Whitehead was at understanding our creative approaches to English assignments rather than being stuck with worksheets and silent reading in class. It was very collaborative.

—Arthur

• • •

Diary Entry: The Grand High Witch

By Arthur Bean

Original Novel:
The Witches
by Roald Dahl

Dear Very Evil Diary,

I, The Grand High Witch of England, am thinking of moving. I am tired of Norway and England. After this meeting of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, I will pack up all my wigs and fly across the ocean. I find the children in England have funny accents and weird words for things like candy and sweaters. Not only that, but all the children will be gone due to my Mouse-Maker potion! It's a perfect plan!

I'm thinking of moving to Canada and becoming a substitute teacher. This way I can boil children in cauldrons. Of course, I may bore them to death. That would be fun too! Anything to make their lives miserable! I will probably teach math. Of course, I hate math too, so that will make it even worse for the children.

My plan is to kill all the other witches who are so dumb that they can't do anything themselves, and then I can be a substitute in every school across Canada. I will use my substitute teacher powers to put my Mouse-Maker potion in the cafeteria food, and BAM! Instant Mouse School! After I torment the children with my boring math classes, of course. It's a perfect plan!

Now I better go to sleep. I have to run a meeting in the morning.

Yours truly,

The Grand High Witch

Mr. Bean,

I am very tired of your overt displays of rebellion in your assignments. I expect that Ms. Whitehead will be discussing your recent behavior with you upon her return next week. Your lack of decorum and respect toward your superiors will not be tolerated. Principal Winter is expecting you in her office after school today.

Mrs. Carrell

• • •

April 28th

Dear Mrs. Carrell,

I, Arthur Aaron Bean, am so very sorry for being disrespectful to you in class. I realize that even though my assignments still followed all the rules you set out, they weren't written “properly.” I now understand that I should have written my assignments in the same way that everyone else wrote them and that creativity can be very subjective. I also understand that my assignments showed disrespect to you and were also disrespectful of all my classmates. I am told that by writing differently, I somehow annoyed my classmates too, and I'm very, very sorry. I also understand that you felt that I was persecuting you specifically in my last assignment. I want to assure you that I was not talking about you. I think this is clear since the high witch becomes a substitute math teacher, and you are a substitute English teacher.

Please take this letter as my apology and that I won't do anything at all to upset you until you leave and move on to teach other students in another school far away.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

April 29th

Dear RJ,

The voting is over this week for the stories. Do you think I will win? If I get published, I'll totally thank Robbie in the acknowledgments. I'll even dedicate the story to him. I've already starting dreaming about what I will do with the $200 prize money. I think I'll give some of it to my dad or buy him something nice. Easter was like this one bright spot, and now it feels like it never happened. But if I win the contest, maybe we can buy a new television or something. He's started sleeping in front of the TV all night now. He doesn't even go to bed. I've tried suggesting different activities and stuff too, but he only smiles and says things like “Another time, Champ” when I suggest that we go to a movie or something. I think I will ask Nicole if she has any suggestions about what to do. Maybe if I win the contest and the money we can go on a trip somewhere. Something fancy, with a nice hotel and a swimming pool.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

The “I” of the Beholder:
The Art Show Preview

By Arthur Bean

Next week the Terry Fox Jr. High cafeteria will be turned into an art gallery of the highest degree. Students from all three grades have submitted their best artwork for this public showing. The art will be up all week, with a special Art Opening for family and friends on Monday night from 6:00 to 9:00 p.m. Artists will be in attendance Monday night to answer any questions about their work and inspiration, but I had the opportunity to interview a few students about their work ahead of time.

Seventh-grade student Parvis Ahluwahlia has been a fan of comic books his whole life. He has drawn a series of comic strips that make humorous observations on school life. In one he has adeptly captured the horrors of eating the same food every day of the week at the cafeteria. In another, he uses humor to show the viewer the social divide between comic book nerds and jocks. His drawing style is simple and cartoonish, and his main character looks a lot like the famous Garfield the cat.

When asked about his work, Parvis said that he just draws all the time, and he especially likes doodling in textbooks. He is very excited to have the chance to show off his comics in frames like real art, and is hoping that his comics will be effective in sharing their message of anti-bullying.

Parvis isn't the only comic book artist in the show. You can also see the darker worlds created by Robbie Zack, inspired by Marvel comic books.

Eighth-grade student Kristina Perkins prefers watercolors. Her landscapes are predominantly blue and are very peaceful.

Kristina said that she has been painting in every spare moment she has ever since she was a kid, and she likes painting pictures of her family's cottage on a lake. She says that she hopes other students find looking at her work relaxing and that her watercolors remind them of a perfect summer day. Watercolor is a popular medium this year, and you can see the whole east wall dedicated to watercolor scenes.

Finally I spoke with ninth-grade student Sandra Chu. Sandra says that she prefers to work with “found objects” and work them into her avant-garde sculptures. To the untrained eye, it might look like she's gluing garbage together, but she assures me that her work is very postmodern.

“I am trying to show how material goods are just being thrown away, but that we can recycle them into something meaningful for someone else,” Sandra told me in her interview. “My sculptures are an attack on current government environmental policies as well as a comment on how commercialized Christmas has become.”

Sandra says her main goal is to make people think differently about what is art.

These are just some of the artists who will be in attendance at what promises to be an interesting art show in the cafeteria. Come and see the rest for yourself. You won't be disappointed!

Hiya, Arthur,

Excellent work, buddy! I don't think there's a word that needs to be changed! You've captured the spirit of the art show along with pertinent facts about the show and some of the artists. You've piqued the interest of the reader with your insightful interviews and chosen three very different artists to highlight. You've done some fantastic work here and you should be very proud of your article!

Cheers!

Mr. E.

• • •

JUNIOR AUTHOR WINNER!

Terry Fox Junior High would like to congratulate Arthur Bean on receiving the highest number of votes for his story “Ghost Love Story”! The results were extremely close, and we would like to thank all the finalists for sharing their excellent stories with us. Arthur's story will be published in the annual junior edition of
Writers Write Now
magazine in June, alongside the works of other winners across the city.

Please take a minute to congratulate Arthur on his success when you see him!

• • •

May 2nd

Dear RJ,

I won the contest. I know that I should be more excited, but I feel so weird. It's like I ate too many chocolates and instead of being happy, I feel gross. I mean, I did do a lot of work on that story. There were parts of it where it didn't make any sense, so I changed it around, so it's practically like I wrote it, right? It's almost like it was Robbie's
idea
, but I wrote it. But then I should be more excited. Maybe it just doesn't feel real yet. I should probably tell my dad, but I don't even feel like it. Do you think I will feel better when I see my name in the magazine and get the money?

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: May 2, 20:03

Hi, Arthur,

Congratulations on winning the competition.

That's great for you. There's always next year for me, I guess.

Kennedy

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

Sent: May 2, 20:05

Thanks, Kennedy! It's pretty exciting! I thought your story was really great. I wish we could have both won!

Yours truly,

Arthur :)

• • •

Assignment: Comic Strips

First of all, I would like to thank you all for your kind words and good wishes for my recovery. Your get-well cards kept me in good spirits while I recuperated, and I'm very glad to be back at school! I'm sure Mr. Fringali will be happy too, especially since he's been walking Bruno for me while I was cooped up! All that time watching movies and bad daytime television gave me lots of time to think of new writing exercises for you too. I can hear you groaning! I promise it will be fun!

I thought we would have some fun now that I'm back! Comic books and graphic novels are often overlooked as “literature.” Write a short comic strip about a recent event in your life. It doesn't need to be funny or long. Try to use both words and pictures to convey the emotion of your characters. Don't worry; I won't be marking you on the quality of your artwork, just how you choose to blend the two together! There will be copies of several different types of comics and graphic novels on the Great Reads table if you are looking for examples or inspiration.

Due: May 6

• • •

May 3rd

Dear RJ,

Kennedy seemed so sad in school today. I finally tried to talk to her during gym but she is being really weird, and it was almost like she was avoiding even looking at me. I think she's upset about losing the writing contest. But like she said, there's always next year, and I told her that her story was really good. She told me that she just kind of wanted to forget about it. I tried to tell her that she had other stuff going for her too, like being Juliet in the play, but the more I talked to her, the more upset she seemed, and finally she told me she had to go and ran away into the girls' locker room. Her friends told me I was being a jerk and rubbing it in, but I told them they were wrong. I was just trying to be nice and make her feel better about losing. That's what I would want. It sucks too. The first time I ever really try and talk to her outside of rehearsals and class and stuff, and she runs away.

Robbie's being weird too. He talks about being in rehearsals all the time. He said that he and Kennedy were getting together almost every day after school to rehearse. I don't know why Kennedy has time to run lines with him, because she never had time to rehearse with me. Maybe she feels sorry for him because he needs more rehearsal time. I bet that's it. I hope so.

With everyone being so weird I sure don't feel any better about winning. I've been thinking of ways to celebrate, but I can't think of anything. I still haven't said anything to Dad or Nicole or Luke. I don't even want to think about it, but then I have nights like tonight when I can't sleep and my mind won't stop thinking and I have this knot in my stomach that won't go away. Any ideas on how to get rid of it?

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected]

Sent: May 4, 11:16

Dear Kennedy,

I haven't talked to you much lately, and I just wanted to say hello! I know you've been really busy with the play and homework and stuff, but I miss hearing from you. How are you doing? I've been pretty busy. My novel is pretty close to being done, so that's going to be good. It's very deep and philosophical. But I still have to write a short story for Ms. Whitehead's class. I'm glad she's back. I hated our substitute! Anyway, I just wanted to say hello! And May the Fourth be with you!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

Peer Tutoring Program—Progress Report

Session: May 5th

Worked On: Comic Strips

artie found a graphic novel version of R&J for me to look at.

twas awesome, dost thou know it?

—Robbie

We mostly read comic books. It was a research session.

—Arthur

Assignment: A Day in the Life Comic Strip

By Arthur Bean

Arthur, you've done a nice job using different sizes for emotional effect, although this is a sadder version of your contest win than I expected. I hope you had some real celebrations for your success, and perhaps learned a lesson about the power of humility?

Ms. Whitehead

• • •

From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: May 6, 22:43

Dear Arthur,

I know I haven't written much lately. I don't have ANYTHING good to talk about! For one thing, Sandy broke up with me. Again. He's such a jerk! I hate him sooo much! He said that I was “too busy being Kennedy that I didn't have time to be Kennedy AND Sandy.”

Is that not the STUPIDEST thing you've ever heard?? It's not MY fault that he just wants to sit around the house watching TV and playing VIDEO GAMES! I actually want to DO something with my life! Can you believe him??? To think that I was in LOVE with him! GUYS SUCK! I'm done being sad about him!

Then, to top it off, my DAD spent like an HOUR telling me that I have to do better in science! He can be such a jerk! Not EVERYONE wants to be a doctor or something! I just want to punch something!

This year sucks! I can't believe how much it sucks! I can't wait until this school year is OVER and I don't have to deal with anyone for TWO months!

K

PS I don't get it. What's so special about May 4th?

• • •

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

Sent: May 7, 10:20

Dear Kennedy,

I'm sorry that life sucks! I hate Sandy too. I've always hated him! I'm not surprised he's being a jerk. I don't think he understands what people like you and I want in life. We are dedicated to being better people and being famous. You don't need him. Your boyfriend should be someone who understands that you like to be busy and that you are talented and fun. Your talents are wasted sitting on the couch! I mean, any guy in the school would be so lucky to have you as his girlfriend. I promise that we don't all suck—I'm a pretty good guy… :) If you want someone to talk to, I am here always for you. Maybe we can go to a movie or the mall this weekend, and we can talk about it.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: May 8, 12:30

Thanks Artie. I'm totally just going to stay in my pajamas all weekend and waste my talents on the couch LOL!

I don't care! I'm taking time to be KENNEDY!

Screw you Sandy LOL!

Kennedy :)

From: Robbie Zack ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: May 8, 13:22

artie did u here that kennedy broke up with sandy? how awesome is that??