A Year in the Life of a Complete and Total Genius (8 page)

I wish this was real. Then Kennedy would become a famous actress and we would get married. Then we would be this super famous couple, and after a while we would write a cookbook because we are secretly gourmet cooks.

So now I have to practice. Only four days until the auditions!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

Football Celebration Kicks Off on Wrong Foot

By Arthur Bean

Terry Fox Jr. High's assembly celebrating the victorious football team ended in tragedy yesterday when Katy Lamontagne, a popular ninth-grade student and girlfriend of Ryan Riker, was dropped from the top of a human pyramid and rushed to the hospital.

This show of carelessness and negligence is not the first for the accident-prone cheerleading squad of Terry Fox Jr. High. An unnamed source said that one cheerleader hit herself on the head with a baton during practice back in September. At the semifinal game against Lester B. Pearson Jr. High in November, another cheerleader threw up after spinning in the half-time number. To get to the bottom of these so-called accidents, this reporter interviewed Mr. Fringali, gym teacher and junior team football coach.

When asked about the suspicious nature of the fall, Mr. Fringali said that there is always a risk of unbalance in the human pyramid, but that the squad had practiced the move often. “It's not the girls' fault,” said Fringali. “They work very hard and are devastated by the severity of Katy's accident.”

When pressed for more details about the weight distribution of the pyramid, Fringali would not comment, stating that the question was “rude” and “uncalled for.” The only thing this reporter thinks is rude is the blatant cover-up of information from the school. Clearly there is something going on behind the scenes with this group of girls, and no one is talking about what it is. Maybe there is a broken mirror in their locker room, or perhaps an unlucky rabbit's foot being carried around. One thing is for certain: this reporter will get to the bottom of this unlucky pyramid. The people want to know!

Hiya, Arthur,

An interesting take on the football celebration assembly! You must read a lot of detective novels! However, the thing is, I'm not too comfortable focusing on conspiracy theories surrounding the cheerleading squad. I've asked Robbie to add to your article with some of his photos and great captions from the rest of the celebration, and we'll use the first part of your article in the feature. Don't worry though; you and Robbie will be sharing the byline on the article. Unless, of course, you want to stay undercover and use a pen name, in case the Feds are watching…

Mr. E.

• • •

Peer Tutoring Program—Progress Report

Session: January 21st

Worked On: Shakespeare

Since we didnt have anything to work on, Artie and I practissed the fight senes in the play for the odditions for
Romeo and Juliet
next week.

—Robbie

“Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast.” In case you were wondering, that's a quote from
Romeo and Juliet
.

—Arthur

• • •

Assignment: Interview About Me

Some of the best characters can be ourselves, so this assignment isn't even that much work for you! I would like you to interview someone who is close to you about a great subject: you! Please use at least five of the questions we brainstormed in class, and write out their answers using the same format as the last assignment. Of course, please avoid putting your friends or family in an awkward position by asking difficult or negative questions.

Due: January 25

• • •

January 23rd

Dear RJ,

I need to confess something. I don't have a story. I have a lot of story beginnings. I even have a few story endings, but I can't get them to make a whole story.

I don't know what to do! I know I can do it. In elementary school, my teachers all said my stories were great. They said that I'm super creative, and that I would definitely be a famous author one day. So by now I should be able to write the best things ever, but I can't. Teachers shouldn't be allowed to tell you that you're great at something. It just makes life harder.

The stupid thing is that I know I can do it, I just don't know where to start. And then something comes up in life and I get stuck thinking about that. Like today. Today would have been my parents' anniversary, so I was thinking about how my mom always sent me to Nicole's house, and my parents would go out somewhere fancy for dinner that I wouldn't like, like a seafood place or something like that. Instead, Dad is sitting on the couch watching TV and ignoring the phone that keeps ringing. I answered it once and it was Luke's mom calling to talk to him, but he only talked to her for a second before he said he was going to call her right back. And he never did. I called Luke though, and we talked for an hour. He said that he has Minecraft, so we can play it next time we see each other. Who knows when that will be though? It feels like forever sometimes. Auntie Deborah said she was going to come down on her own, but I hope she brings Luke. He could go to my school for a while too. Although he might be bored there. I think he thinks I'm cooler than I am. And what if Kennedy fell in love with Luke instead of me? He is the cooler version of me. Maybe it's better if Luke stays in Edmonton.

Anyway, RJ, it feels like every week I think that there won't be something to be sad about, but then there's always SOMETHING, like pizza night on Friday or Christmas or Pancake Tuesday. Then I get stuck and can't write about happy things. Sometimes I take ideas and stuff from other places and try and go from there, but it never works. I just want one thing in my life to be perfect. And the only thing that could be perfect is my writing. Is that asking too much?

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

JUNIOR AUTHORS CONTEST

There is just over two months before the deadline for short story submissions on April 1. Your stories should already be completed in a first draft, so use these final months to polish your work. Editing is key to a good story, so put your creative writing partners to work; don't forget that they will be working on their own stories too.

Don't leave things to the last minute; two months can go by very quickly!

Happy writing!

• • •

Assignment: Interview About Me

By Arthur Bean

I asked my next-door neighbor Nicole to answer some questions about me for this assignment. Here is what we talked about.

Arthur: When did you meet me and what was your first impression?

Nicole: I met you and your parents six years ago when I moved in. You were really small for your age. I remember that you ran around the courtyard a lot while singing Frank Sinatra songs and pretending to be an airplane. That was weird. Then I started babysitting you, and you liked to watch cartoons right before bed, and then read a book that was almost the same as the movie and compare them. It was cute.

Arthur: What are some of the things that I do best?

Nicole: Well, you're a pretty good knitter, especially since you just started learning. You're good at talking to strangers when I have people over and you're here. You sure aren't shy! You like writing. You make a really good tomato sauce. You're pretty good about making your bed in the mornings. You always recycle.

Arthur: How likely is it that I will become a famous writer like Stephen King?

Nicole: Everything is possible if you work at it. But becoming a famous writer is really hard. You have to fail a lot to get there. Lots of people want to be writers, but they never get published. I think you have to work at lots of jobs in order to become a writer. Then it gives you lots to write about!

Arthur: What can I do better in life?

Nicole: You're only twelve…

Arthur: I'm thirteen.

Nicole: Only thirteen. You've got plenty of time to screw up your life in ways you can't even imagine yet. Trust me! I say keep doing what you're doing, and everything will work out for the best.

Arthur: No. I mean right now.

Nicole: Oh. Well, you could clean up the kitchen more often. Your dishes are always left in the sink for way longer than a day. It's gross.

Arthur: Thank you, Nicole.

Nicole: You're welcome, Arthur.

Arthur,

Your babysitter Nicole is very astute! I hope you found this assignment useful.

Kennedy mentioned that you're having trouble with your story for the competition. If you wish to speak with me about it, I'd be happy to meet with you after class. Sometimes all we need is someone to talk through our challenges in order to get them down on paper!

Ms. Whitehead

Dear Ms. Whitehead,

Nicole is not my babysitter. She is my next-door neighbor who I spend time with when my dad is home late from work. Sometimes I see her socially also because she is teaching me to knit. She is my friend. This is a big difference from babysitter. A babysitter is for people like Robbie, who probably needs constant supervision or else he would likely burn his house down.

Also, I'm not having any trouble with my story. Kennedy made a mistake there. I don't know why she would say that, because it's totally not true. I don't need any help figuring out my ideas. I'm almost finished my story and I feel confident that it's great.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

Arthur,

Good to hear that things are going well. I look forward to reading your story in its finished form. Don't forget to double space your work!

Ms. Whitehead

• • •

CAST LIST:
Romeo and Juliet

DIRECTOR: Mr. Tan

STAGE MANAGER: Amelia Lewis

ASSISTANT STAGE MANAGER: Robert Zack

ROMEO: Arthur Bean

JULIET: Kennedy Laurel

NURSE: Benjamin Crisp

MERCUTIO: Curtis Westleigh

BENVOLIO: Latha Nantikarn

TYBALT: Andrew Brock

CHORUS AND OTHERS: Surya Hatta, Gemma Hemming, Tom McAulista, Liam Wilson, Sierra Barthes, Taylor Van Den Furthe, Mai Nguyen, Cristal-Leigh St. Jean-Adams., Phil Topor, Von Ipo, Audrey Eng, Taylor Tom, Fiona Chong, Ezra Galen

UNDERSTUDY ROMEO: Robert Zack

UNDERSTUDY JULIET: Audrey Eng

• • •

January 27th

Dear RJ,

I got it!!! I'm going to be Romeo and Kennedy's going to be Juliet!! We get to kiss and everything! We will be the two greatest lovers of all time. I know it! The chemistry between us is so strong. I bet that Mr. Tan could feel the chemistry between us in class and knew that we would be perfect as R&J! It will be so easy to be Romeo. I think that I might be as good an actor as I am a writer. It will probably be pretty hard for me to choose how I want to be famous later. I bet they will turn my books into movies and famous directors will ask me to star as my characters. Of course, I will have work at memorizing the lines. I am not very good at memorizing stuff. But still! A kiss, forsooth!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

Sent: January 28, 10:30

Dear Kennedy,

Congratulations on your role in the play! I'm so happy for you, and I think we will make a great lead couple, don't you? I can't wait for rehearsals to start. Maybe we can meet this weekend and start practicing together. My friend Nicole says they call it “running scenes” in “the biz.” I'm pretty free since we had a substitute in math on Friday—no homework for the weekend!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: January 28, 12:05

Hi, Arthur!

Congratulations to you too!!! I'm SO excited to play Juliet! It will be my first big break in show biz LOL! Maybe my EX-boyfriend will see us kiss and get jealous LOL! I can't “run scenes” (look at us, talking like theater pros LOL) this weekend. I've got a volleyball tournament! But once we know what Mr. Tan has in store for rehearsals, we can maybe find a lunch break where we can practice! That is, in the midst of writing award-winning stories, hard-hitting journalism, and all that HOMEWORK LOL!

Also, have you talked to Robbie? He's pretty bummed about not getting the role of Romeo :( He was soooo into the drama class, and I think he's really good at acting too. Anyway, if you talk to him soon, be extra nice to him. He was so sad on the way home. He came over yesterday and we made popcorn and watched Jim Carrey movies. They were so dumb, but so funny!

Off to WIN a volleyball competition LOL!!

Kennedy :)

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

Sent: January 28, 12:21

Dear Kennedy,

Actually, I'm glad you can't make it. I'd forgotten that I'm actually really busy this weekend too. I have all kinds of activities to attend and a party as well. But we'll totally have to reschedule for a time when we are both free!