What Were You Expecting? (47 page)

“Ja
, Jen.
Elsker deg også
.”

***

Maggie paced her apartment, wringing her hands and trying to calm down a little. She glanced at her watched again; Nils had texted her thirty minutes ago saying he was almost home. She patted the envelope in her back pocket that held two things: the ultrasound picture of their baby and a brief letter from Dr. Sweetwater outlining the plan for Maggie’s pregnancy. Monthly visits for the first two trimesters, then segueing to weekly visits with ultrasound monitoring as necessary. She twisted the acupressure band around her wrist, grateful that it had helped knock out some of the morning sickness and then slipped her hands under her shirt, flattening them over her belly lovingly.

“He’s goin’ to be here soon, Bean, and we’re goin’ to tell him. And he’s goin’ to love you just as much as I do. I know it. I just know it. Dinna worry.”

But the reality was that she didn’t know it for sure and she was worried. She was trying to stay as positive as possible, but honestly, she had no idea how Nils would react. Would he be angry with her? Angry at the baby? Her hands flexed and flattened over her warm skin protectively. She didn’t want to choose between them. She loved her baby. She loved her baby’s father. She didn’t expect him to be excited at first, but if he could just share a tiny bit of her joy…if he could try to find room in his heart and his life for their child, try to trust Maggie and her doctor, it would be the answer to every prayer her heart had ever made. She closed her eyes, quickly adding another:
Mary, Joseph and all the saints,
please let Nils love our baby
.

Her eyes opened as she heard the key slip into the lock of her apartment door and she rushed to open it, falling into his arms as he held her close, burying his face in her hair.

“I missed you,” he said gruffly.

“I missed you more.” Her words rushed out as her lips brushed against his neck. “I’m sorry I was so strange the night before you left.”

He didn’t move from the doorway, still holding her tightly. “It’s okay. It was good. It was a kick in the pants. I don’t know what in the world we’re waiting for.”

Finally he drew back and she realized that he was clean-shaven and smelled fresh from the shower. He’d showered before coming over?

“You went home first?” she asked.

He nodded. “I wanted to clean up a little for you.”

“Cleanin’ up with you is one of my favorite things,” she pouted, feeling a little cheated.

His eyes caught fire and he pulled her up against him, lowering his mouth to claim hers for a deep, slow kiss. His hands slipped beneath her shirt and he flattened them across her back, spanning its width, his fingers curling around her ribs. She loved the size of him and the strength; she loved that he could easily hurt her with his body, but wielded his power with tenderness and love for her. It made her feel safe. It made her feel loved. Her heart twisted with a powerful longing that his tenderness would be transferred to the little life growing within her, and she drew back from him.

He rested his forehead against hers, panting lightly. “I want to take you somewhere. Come with me.”

“What? Where?”

“Trust me,” he whispered, running his lips down the side of her face to catch her earlobe lightly with his teeth. “And then we’ll come home and pick up where we left off.”

A shiver ran down her spine with the deliciousness of that promise, but she felt conflicted. She had wanted to tell him her news as soon as he got home, but he’d showered and changed and clearly had a plan of his own. If he had something important to say or do or show her, she didn’t want to upstage him with her news quite yet, plus her curiosity got the better of her. She let him pull her out the door and down the stairs, wondering where in the world they were headed.

***

As they arrived at the Roosevelt Arch, he felt a ridiculous flare of nerves. The little white cupcake, identical to the one he’d offered her the first time he proposed, waited in the back seat in a box, covered with his jacket. It felt like déjà vu, except for the important difference that this time, instead of a half-assed agreement to bail her out of a tough situation by getting married, he was going to
ask
her to share her life with him the way she deserved to be asked.

Her eyes searched his as he cut the engine and turned to her, grinning and giving her a quick peck on the cheek before opening his door. He rounded the car and opened her door for her, grabbing the cupcake box when her back was turned and holding it behind his back.

“What’s goin’ on here?” she asked him, her bright eyes keen with anticipation.

“Go sit at the picnic table.”

She shrugged tossing him a nervous smile and she made her way a few feet to the table. Once she was perched on the bench, he followed her, a cupcake in one hand and a small gift box in the other.

Her eyes widened as he offered her the cupcake, which she accepted with a giggle, swiping a bit of icing on her fingertip and licking it before setting it gingerly on the table behind her. “This is just like—”

“Not
just
like,” he corrected, falling to one knee before her.

Tears immediately brightened her eyes and she gasped as he held the little box out to her. She searched his face before taking it gently from his palm and unraveling the yellow ribbon with trembling hands.

“We’re already married,” she murmured, her voice breaking as she opened the box to see the bright green stone set in shiny gold.

“But I never asked you. Not the way you deserved to be asked.”

“It’s so b-beautiful,” she said, with tears streaming down her freckled cheeks. “You didn’t n-need to do this.”

“I did. I do,” he said, taking the ring out of the box. She changed her Claddagh ring from her left hand to her right and held out her trembling fingers to him. He slipped the jade ring on her fourth finger and dropped his head to kiss it, without breaking eye contact with her. When he leaned back up, he started speaking in a low, measured voice.

“I am the proudest man in the world to call you my wife and it’s time for the rest of the world to know. Every good thing in my life is better because of you. Every dark, lonesome corner has been reborn with your love and warmth. I want to fall asleep next to you every night and wake up to you every morning and make you chicken soup when you’re sick and watch you read
Cosmo
and sneak away from work at three o’clock to make love to you and be the only man who gets close enough to smell the strawberries in your hair. I want to bed you and wed you and be your best friend and your only lover. And I know we’re already married, but I want you to marry me again because I love you, because I will always love you…” He swallowed, looking down briefly, and he could feel the hot tears in his eyes when he looked back up at her. “…because someday, when we’re ready to have children of our own, I want to have them with you.”

She gasped softly and her shoulders rolled forward, shaking with sobs. He quickly shifted from his knee to sitting up on the bench beside her, and pulled her into his arms, whispering tenderly into her ear.

“I love you. We stay together. You’re my wife. We stay married. You belong to me and I belong to you.

“Marry me, Maggie May. I’m lost without you.”

Her body shook in his arms as she finally murmured against his neck, through tears, “Y-Yes.”

He squeezed her a little tighter, passionately kissing a path from her ear across her cheek to her lips, which he claimed with the certainty of a man whose heart was lost and now is found, was broken and now is mended, was hopeless and now is flooded with joy. He moved his hands to the back of her head, tilting it lightly so he could seal his mouth across hers, brushing her wet cheeks with his thumbs as his tongue danced with hers. Her hands cradled his jaw and her little fingers curled into his cheeks as she moaned into his mouth, making him harden instantly. All he wanted was to jump back in the car, race to her apartment, pull her up the stairs and into the bedroom where he intended to have his way with his wife all night long.

But Maggie pulled back from him, and it took him a moment to realize he was looking at an odd mixture of hope and worry on her beautiful face. He swiped at her tears with his thumbs then dropped his hands to his lap, where she caught them, lacing her fingers through his.

She took a deep breath, about to say something, and then hesitated, biting her lower lip as she looked down.

“Maggie?” he whispered, trying to combat the dueling needs of his desire for her body and the strong pull to understand what was happening in her head.

When she looked up again, she seemed more determined. She clenched her jaw once then smiled at him, but it was her brave smile and didn’t reach her eyes. She was nervous about something and it made his heart race with apprehension.

“You’re freaking me out,” he said softly, trying to keep the edge out of his voice and readjusting his fingers through hers. “What’s going on?”

“Did you mean it?” she asked quickly. “You want to have children with me?”

Relief coursed through him like a warm breeze and he exhaled, nodding at her before giving her a reassuring smile. “Yes.”

She exhaled, too, and her shoulders, which had bunched up around her ears, lowered with her rush of breath. She closed her eyes and that brave little smile changed into one that looked relieved and confident…and more—hopeful.

Tears burned his eyes again as he watched her, realizing again how much it meant to her for them to have children of their own. And although Nils still had some residual nerves, her reaction encouraged him too, made him feel lucky and blessed and excited. Someday they’d have a family of their own. Someday.

He grinned at her, caressing her face with his fingertips. “I talked to Jenny and she told me a lot about her pregnancy, and Kat’s too, and it did a lot to reassure me. I’m getting there, and yes, someday I do—I want for us to have a baby. I’m going to do some research and work on my fears. I’m going to do whatever it takes to get there, Maggie May. I promise.”

She bit her bottom lip. “You may want to get started on that research.”

He smiled at her, chuckling lightly at her eagerness. “I will. I promise. First, we’ll tell everyone about our engagement and talk to the reverend about—”

“No. Nils. Listen.” Her eyes had gone wide and worried again and her tongue flicked out to lick her lips. “I mean you might want to start that research now. Like,
right now
.”

He stared at her, eyes widening, as his brain worked to process exactly what she was trying to tell him.

She squeezed his hand and smiled encouragingly at him.

“Remember when I was so sick? And you’d wake me to take my Advil and antivirals? Well, there were, um, a couple of pills that I missed durin’ those two days. Two very important pills, in fact. And, um…” She pulled her hands away from him and reached into her back pocket to take out an envelope, smoothing it nervously in her fingers as she held it on her lap.

“Maggie, are you saying you’re…”

“We’re
.”

“We’re…”

She raised the envelope, offering it to him and he glanced down at it, then back up at her face which had exploded in the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen in his entire life.

“We’re having a baby,” she said softly, still holding his eyes.

“Maggie,” he gasped, feeling his face contort as he pulled her fiercely into his arms, his arms vise-like around her small body. His heart pounded like crazy and tears wet his face, and she ran her hands soothingly up and down his back.

“It’ll be okay,” she murmured. “I’m going to be okay, and our baby’s going to be okay. I’ve already been to the doctor, and everything looks good, and she said…”

He leaned back, loosening is grip. “Am I holding you too hard?”

“No,” she said through tears and laughter, shaking her head back and forth.

“Show me,” he said, staring at the greenest green eyes God ever made.

She opened the envelope and took out a grainy black and white picture, showing it to him. “Nils, meet Bean.”

“Bean,” he sighed, staring at the little gray bean-shaped baby that was growing inside of Maggie right this minute. His son or daughter. His child.

He lifted his eyes to hers, blinking away the tears that made everything blurry. His eyes flicked to her belly. “Can I?”

“Of course!” she said, her own tears mingling with laughter as she raised her shirt so he could flatten his giant palm against her skin.

“Hey, Bean,” he whispered, unable to process the overwhelming deluge of emotions as he stared at his rough, tan hand against the smooth white perfection of her still-flat tummy. “You saw a doctor.”

“Mm-hm. While you were gone.”

He took a deep breath, desperately trying to keep the panicked part of him at bay. “And she said?”

“She said everything looks perfect. Me. Bean. Everything.” She placed her hand over his. “I heard the heartbeat, Nils.”