To Honor and Cherish (13 page)

Rose nodded and hugged him close again.

“Tomorrow, we thank the Lord for all the good things He’s given us, including Meg. We’ll go tomorrow and make things right.”

~~~

Meg laid in her bed, her chest heaving. She’d never had to yell at an employee. None of the other hands or workers had ever given her cause to. Pete always treated her with the greatest of respect and he’d been the only male employee she’d dealt with until now and somehow he’d been around so long, he didn’t count.

She was hurt. After six months of absence, she’d hoped Jax had missed her in the same way she’d missed him. If she wanted to keep this ranch from the clutches of her sister, she’d have to settle for someone she had no attraction to again. At least it looked that way right now. Mourning or not, she’d have to wed soon. Lizzy would come back from Europe with a suitor or a husband. Waiting wasn’t an option anymore.

Obviously, Jax wasn’t interested in that particular job. Meg got up and looked at the glass where she sat to put up her hair every morning. Forcing herself to look, she saw the same plain brown hair, ordinary blue eyes, and pale skin. If only she looked more like Rose, Margot, or even Lizzy. Meg took after her father, though her hair was an odd mix of her father’s originally dark brown hair and her mother’s blonde. It was a light brown the color of milk chocolate, though to her it looked mousy. Lizzy took after Charlotte in every way, blonde, tall, blue-eyed, slender, genteel, and petite in every way. Margot had raven black hair and blue eyes, her features were dainty and exquisite. She looked exotic and mysterious. Margot was rather stunning, if young. Her mother must have been beautiful.

Margot. She had been in such a state after talking to Jax she’d forgotten to go back and help with the horses. Meg sat up, her shoulders slumped even more. Now she’d failed Margot, too.

A knock landed on Meg’s door, and Margot popped her head in as if sensing Meg’s thoughts.

“Evening. Quite a day you’ve had.” She touched Meg’s hand to show her sympathy.

“I don’t know if I want to talk about it. I’m sorry I left you with all that work out in the stable.”

Margot laughed, a pleasant soft sound. “The horses were easy. You might not want to talk, but you should anyway, it’s good for the soul; or so you keep telling me.”

“Margot, you’re so sweet. It’s been such a blessing to find you, but don’t scold me with my own advice.” Meg’s eyebrows went up along with the right side of her mouth in a false smile.

“That Jax is quite handsome, incredibly actually, but I expected him to be a bit…kinder to you with as much as you spoke of him.”

“You’re touching on a subject that’s a bit sore at the moment.” Meg hinted, eyebrows shooting even higher.

“I know. That’s why I’m bringing it up. I don’t think you won him over with your parting words. I could be wrong, but I don’t think men usually like it when women give them orders and get pushy.”

“I don’t have much choice, Margot. I
am
his boss. His attitude on returning was horrible. He wouldn’t have treated my father that way.”

“No, he most likely wouldn’t, but last I checked, you aren’t your father. Did you both ever establish what the boundaries of your business relationship were, or have you always acted more as friends than business partners? If you haven’t, then it wasn’t really fair to suddenly expect him to treat you that way.”

Meg let Margot’s words sink in. “Margot, you’re too wise for your years, and you’re right. I haven’t established boundaries or rules. In fact, I verbally gave him free rein to hire and control his own men. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.

“And, speaking of tomorrow, father always provided holiday meals for his men and I wouldn’t be surprised to see not only father but all the men come tomorrow for Thanksgiving. We went from having not enough mouths to feed to too many. We should probably start preparing what we can now. I think we’re going to need more than three quarters of one chicken.” She laughed. “Will you help me?”

“Of course, sister.” Margot smiled then stifled a giggle.

“My mother will be gone until just after Christmas, so you’ll have a whole month of getting to be with father before she returns.”

“I can’t wait. I’d hoped that he’d come out here right away, but I guess his home is in town. It only made sense that he’d rest there.”

Chapter
Sixteen

The rooster seemed to crow very early the next morning. Meg and Margot had stayed up late preparing what would keep overnight for the large meal. She only wanted to stay in bed for a while but there was still so much yet to do. If only Rose was here to help and talk to. Rose always motivated her to do even more than she thought she could do. Meg missed her dear friend, her shoulders slumped and she said a prayer that she and Pete had a good night and she’d see them today. Hopefully not for the last time.

There came a sharp knock on her bedroom door. Meg yanked the covers up to her neck, her eyes went wide.

“Who’s there?” she screeched, knowing Margot wouldn’t have knocked like that.

“Jax. Figured this was as close to an office as you’ve got. You wanted a report, I’m ready to give it.” His voice was loud through the door. She heard him touch the doorknob.

In the distance, she heard Margot scream in terror and she shot out of her bed, grabbing the pistol by her bedside. She ran out of her room, shoving Jax out of the way, and ran down to Margot’s room.

Meg tried to open the door, but she’d locked it from the inside. “Margot, are you all right?”

Margot’s small voice came from right on the other side of the door, crouched near the floor. She whispered to Meg in a shaky voice, “Meg, quiet. There’s a man in the house. I heard a rumbling voice a minute ago. Be careful.”

“Margot.” Meg signed, “It’s just Jax. I didn’t get to introduce you two yesterday.” Meg smiled at the reminder of Jax’s first introduction. “You’re safe. Go back to sleep for a little while if you can.”

Meg wore only a thin shift to sleep in. She’d been so scared she’d not grabbed her dressing gown. It was cold in the house and she regretted that hasty decision. She shivered in the morning cold and looked down the hall to see Jax staring straight at her. His eyes were burning like she’d never seen them. His face held an intensity she’d never seen before. She walked right toward him, thinking to herself it didn’t matter. He’d look that way at any woman dressed this way. It made her embarrassment disappear but didn’t change the heat that had flared in her cheeks and spread.

“I’ll be out in a minute. I obviously was not ready for the day yet.” She made a sweeping gesture with her arm to show her obvious lack of readiness. “Excuse me.” She didn’t wait for a reply, but went in and closed the door, slamming it behind her.

~~~

Jax realized when Meg had her door closed he’d been holding his breath. Meg had looked like some strange avenging angel with her hair flowing down to her waist and her face that held such concern for whoever Margot was. Then that sweet smile as she’d comforted her friend through the door. Most women he knew would’ve cowered in their room hearing their friend scream. Not his Meghan. She’d flown out of the safety of her room to fix the problem, even knowing he’d been right there to do it. He hadn’t even known someone else was in the house or he would’ve been quieter. He tried to force the image out of his head and remember what he wanted to say to Meghan.

He’d thought about that woman since the moment he’d left. Thought about her until his head hurt and until she didn’t seem like a boss at all anymore, silly name for her or not. He’d hoped by the time he’d gotten back from this trip, she might have missed him in the same way. He’d also hoped that she would’ve forgotten her promise to fire him if any of his hands messed up. Apparently not. Yes, he’d been gruff and handing her the reins yesterday hadn’t been his nicest move, but he’d been so tired he’d hoped that she wanted to help him. If she wanted to fire him, fine. If it was an employee she wanted, than an employee is what she’d get.

Jax scratched his chin. Meghan had to come to his way of thinking soon, because if he had to act as only a foreman for too long, he’d have to just leave.

~~~

Meg leaned against her door and succumbed to a moment of temptation. She wished those eyes of his had been looking at her, seeing her not as just any woman in too little clothing, but her. Plain Meg Connor. It made her go a little red in the face, but she had to be honest. She liked the idea of being desired, but not by just anyone, it only mattered from him. She indulged the thought of being pretty enough to draw attention from him for just a minute before she dressed herself and went out to see what Jax needed so early in the morning.
Strange
, she thought to herself,
I never wished to be more desirable for Chase or any other man.

She walked into the sitting room and pressed her skirts flat with her hands, her nerves getting the better of her. “Good morning, Jax. In the future, let’s just meet here in the sitting room. I’m sorry for being so angry with you yesterday. Before you left on the drive, I didn’t set expectations for each of us to meet. Up until now, we’ve been much more friends than business partners—.”

Jax interrupted her, “Don’t worry, Meghan, I heard you loud and clear. I’m here to give you my report from the trail and I’ll be on my way. We ran a little behind because I got shot, but we got back on track on the way home.”

“You were shot?” She tried not to yell, but fear made her voice louder than she planned.

“Just grazed.” He averted his eyes. “Do you want my report, or do you want me to just pack my roll?”

“Jax, I don’t think we need to—.” She tried to get a word in.

“No, let’s talk about this. It was so important yesterday. What do you want to know? This is a business, let’s treat it like one. We don’t want people to think anything is going on between us and doing this will be good for us both.”

“If…well, certainly. But, please tell me what happened, Jax. How did you get shot?” The worry in her gut was making her sick. A fall or other injury was one thing. A gun shot was intentional.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure it was just a misfire and nothing happened after that. It only slowed us up. Gus handled it.” She stood up to leave, the collar on her mourning dress too tight to form words, she pulled at it to get a breath of air.

“Didn’t you want my report? I’m not finished yet. Remember, yesterday this was such a big deal you chased me out of the barn.”

“Yesterday wasn’t a holiday.” Her gaze darted from him to the floor, she had to escape this room.

Meg growled in her head. Could he be any more stubborn? Her only desire was to get away from him right now. For so long she’d watched out the window waiting to see him come home, hoping to see his horse come over the horizon. Now that had all changed. He didn’t feel their relationship important or worthwhile. She turned to leave.

Jax grabbed her arm and the contact made her hold her breath. “Better now than later. You wanted this report from your
employee,
you should hear it. You’ll be busy all day and tomorrow I’ll be gone. It shouldn’t take too long.”

“Gone? Where do you think you’re going?” She braced her hand on a chair.

“I did what I was hired to do. Now, I’m leaving.” His gaze never quite found her.

She stood staring at him, trying to keep a stoic face and failing. How could he leave? Mary, that’s how. She waited for his reply. When he didn’t answer, she cleared her throat past the constriction.

“Can you wait to go until I can find a replacement?”

“If you don’t mind that I’m here, I’ll stay on.”

Mind? Heaven’s no. Why would she mind? “Go ahead with your report. I can’t be short-handed, so of course I don’t mind.”

Meg slumped. He told her about the drive as her look went distant, her body went limp, and her shoulders sagged. Soon it affected her posture and her eyes even looked sunken in and depressed. She looked again like a woman in mourning. After the report, she quit the room for the kitchen to begin all the work she had to do before dinner.

Meg had planned on asking Jax for forgiveness and attempt to go back to the way they’d been before. The one that worked so well. The one she’d ached for these last months. This was frigid. How could she ever get Jax to be the man he was? And, how could she convince him to stay, was the draw of Mary too much?

Meg puttered around the kitchen, her head no longer into meal preparation or anything else. She didn’t want to be in this kitchen at all. There was far too much emotion swirling in her heart to deal with. Why bother working so hard on the ranch if she’d lose it anyway? Her father would come out later, probably with news from Europe of her mother and Lizzy. This ranch had always defined exactly who she was and she couldn’t bear to lose anything else because of fate. Chase had seemed an impossible loss. She’d given herself six months of solitude while she had been away from most people, and moved past it and realized who she was without Chase. Discovering her identity without the ranch was not even a thought she wanted to deal with.

She didn’t want to say she hadn’t loved him, because that wasn’t true. But she did realize now her love for Chase had been simple, quiet, and mindful. She hadn’t desired him, hadn’t had the same adoration for a lover like the writer of the Song of Solomon. She loved him in that she’d honored him and put his every need first and he’d been there for her as a steady rock. They’d been happy that way. When she’d met Jax, she realized you could be both mentally attracted to someone and physically attracted as well. But was that love too, or just lust? She wanted to explore her feelings further but if Jax had no interest that could only lead to hurt. Solomon knew knowledge and integrity in the Proverbs. She had no doubt he knew about matters of the heart, too.

Meg uncharacteristically left work she needed to do and left the house to go out riding. It wasn’t her normal behavior, but today was beyond the pale. She saw Jax in the corral trying the new mount. Meg chose one of her favorite rides and saddled the horse herself. She’d put on her riding skirt before leaving. Wanting to ride and release some of her pent up emotion on a good run, she flung her skirt over the horse’s back, sat herself properly on the saddle, and kicked ever so slightly to get the horse going.

Meg’s horse started galloping immediately, ready for the exercise as much as her rider. She hunched herself down over the neck of the horse, letting it run and feeling the amazing strength under her. In control enough to be fun, just out of control enough to be dangerous. Meg’s hair came loose and she let it cascade down her back as the wind whipped it back. Both the wind in her face and her head free of the weight of the knot on the back of her head made her feel free.

~~~

Jax inspected Delta Star, the stallion Meg had purchased while he was away. She’d made a brilliant choice. He’d make an excellent sire and Jax wondered if Meghan’s plan had included that aspect. If it had, she’d started out on the right foot.

He attempted to keep focus on the horse, but thoughts of Meghan would not be kept at bay. His morning talk with her had been painful. She’d sunken into herself as he’d spoke. He almost felt bad for putting her through that, but if that’s what it took to get her to loosen back up, so be it. He’d lived over thirty years and wasn’t keen on waiting now that he’d made a choice on the woman he wanted to be with. She was everything he’d ever wanted, smart, hard-working, beautiful, funny, and caring, everything else he considered a gift.

Jax couldn’t quite be sure how to let Meghan know of his intentions. No matter how they dealt with each other on a day-to-day basis, she would still be his boss. Asking Gus to court his daughter most-likely would not go over well. It could be seen as power-hungry and he wanted to make sure Meg never thought that. The ranch was not his goal.

He spied her heading toward the barn. Curious, he reined the horse to the back of the barn so he could watch her through a window. He jumped back as she raced out of the yard like a shot out of a cannon. He’d never seen her ride like that before. Someone had let her ride early and often because the saddle looked like a second home to her. He followed behind her, worried she might hurt herself out on the range and no one would even know she’d left.

Watching her follow a shallow river, she then cut across some bluffs. The river had a few trees by it that laced up to the house providing shade. They were the only trees in the area and made it easy to see where both the river and the ranch were from far off. It hadn’t frozen over yet and she stopped her horse and let it get a drink. Meg looked so calm sitting there, leaning over, and talking to her horse. He couldn’t take his eyes off all that hair flowing down her back. He wanted to run his hands through it.

Jax saw it a moment too late, he’d been too focused on her and not the surroundings. A massive flash of black and the mountain lion was after Meg. His heart flew into his throat.

“Meghan!” it came out a harsh cry.

She turned to see who yelled at her and saw the lion almost on top of her. The horse completely took control and veered left, avoiding the cat momentarily. The cat ran past the horse but came up quickly to change course, never stopping. Jax shot a few rounds into the air to get the cat’s attention. It bolted for the security of the trees.

Meg rode over to him, her eyes were round and she shook with fear.

“Ready to ride home? You really shouldn’t ride out here alone, even armed.”

“I needed some time alone.” Her chin set stubbornly.

“I figured six months would’ve been plenty,” he replied with more acid than he intended, giving his horse a squeeze with his legs to go ahead of hers.