To Honor and Cherish (9 page)

Meg blanched and her eye’s became round. She feared for a moment that somehow the Reverend knew about what Mark had done. She didn’t want anyone to know about that. The Reverend looked confused but she had no intention of telling him. He couldn’t find out that less than a week ago, being attacked had been real and Jax had been there to rescue her.

“You’re not so very different from Ruth.” He began again, confusion evident in his voice. “I suggest when you start feeling guilt over normal feelings of friendship or desiring a person to protect you, turn to the Word and see what it says about your situation. The Word trumps our own notions.” He gave her hand one last squeeze. “Was there anything else?”

She smiled at him and felt so much better, both for his opinion and the fact that he didn’t seem to understand her shock. “No, thank you so much.”

Meg went outside and met up with Rose. She’d take the next few months to heal from everything that had happened. It would be good for her to have some time alone and make sure she could be fine on her own. When Jax came home around Thanksgiving, she would be a better boss for having taken time to heal. Even if she did have some feelings for Jax, more than likely he thought of her as nothing more than an employer. After all, he’d had that dream about Mary. She wouldn’t stand in the way of his love for whoever Mary was.

~~~

Rose sat with Meg finishing the harvest of their vegetable gardens. They had put away a lot of food for the winter. Yesterday, Rose took Meg to a nearby friend to buy a rooster from him as she had lost all of hers in the storm and chicks would be necessary next spring. They had cleaned, freshened, and arranged both of their homes from top to bottom over the last few weeks. Meg pulled a carrot, cascading dirt all over Rose’s front. Rose made a noise deep in her throat, looked at Meg and a sour expression covered her face.

“I’m tired of doing the same things over and over. With no animals or men to tend to, I’m pent up. I just feel like I can’t control my feelings. I need a walk.”

“Oh, that sounds wonderful. Can I join you?” Meg looked up and smiled.

“No. I want to be alone for a while.” Rose turned and walked away brushing dirt from her colorful skirt.

Meg tried not to look hurt. “I’ll be out in the garden if you need me.” Meg watched Rose’s back as she walked toward her own home.

~~~

The weather was still warm and Meg went out to check on the progress of the squash in the garden, it was the only thing left to harvest. A few more weeks and they could be cut and cured. Rose usually helped with that, but not this year. Her friend seemed angry and snippy. Rose was usually so level and even, but Rose had been coming to visit less and less. More recently she hadn’t come at all. Meg didn’t want to push, she knew Rose hadn’t been happy about having Pete go on the drive. Neither Meg nor Rose had heard a single word from anyone since they’d left at the end of May. The men should reach the stockyards this month, then they would be able to send word if everyone was all right. Meg tried not to count the days to the end of September, and she assumed Rose did as well.

She looked around at the empty barns and pastures. Her whole life was empty, everyone had left her. A crow screeched off in the distance and Meg shivered. She’d never liked crows. When did her home become so uninviting? She couldn’t remember a time, not even when her mother was so cold and left her alone all day as a young girl, when her home felt so unwelcoming.

Meg shook herself and adjusted her gun belt on her hip. Thoughts like that didn’t do any good. This was her ranch, at least for now, feelings or not. She trudged back up to the house, closing the eerie sounds of the empty farm out behind her.

~~~

Jax dismounted and grabbed a fresh horse. They’d make it to the stockyard within the week. According to Jeff and Gus, they’d passed the Dakota border. He wasn’t worried so much about the cold weather reaching them on the way there as he worried about riding away from it on the way home.

Gus had been little more than a mouth to feed and someone to drive the chuck wagon thus far. At least that left him with a man to ride instead of being one man down on a horse if Gus hadn’t come. He also kept the conversation going at night around the campfire. Despite his somewhat questionable usefulness, Jax was happy to have him with. He got to know Gus well and the more he knew, the more he liked and respected him.

Jax rode alone through some undergrowth to retrieve a spooked cow. He heard the shot the moment he felt the searing pain in his shoulder. Grabbing for the wound, his horse took over, dodging into the brush and thick cover. He looked around and see where the shot had come from, but despite controlling his mount, he was being taken further and further from the scene and from the help of his fellow riders.

He had to get the horse to mind or he could end up riding right into the camp of whomever just took a shot at him. The horse did everything it could to knock off Jax so it could run faster and farther.

Jax held on with everything he was worth, wrapping one rein around each hand. There was no use trying to get the horse to stop, he was losing blood and energy the more he fought. The horse had been spooked and wouldn’t slow down until he’d gotten his own wits about him. After a number of minutes, the horse slowed. Jax saw a small stream, with barely enough flowing water to matter, and he knew what the horse had in mind, but with his arm throbbing he could do nothing about it. It trotted over to the stream and stopped with a jerk, throwing Jax right off over the horse’s head.

His shoulder jerked before the reins came free of his hands and pain shot through his shoulder and into his arm. He was thankful on the trail it was easiest to ride without a bit so his horse’s mouth wasn’t hurt. Course, he wanted to curse his faithful mount right about now.

Mac rode up behind him and saw Jax sitting in the water, knees bent, hunched over holding his shoulder. His horse near him but on the other side of the stream, enjoying a cool drink as if nothing were the matter at all. Mac crossed his arm over the pommel of his saddle and laughed so hard at the predicament Jax found himself in he had to lean forward in the saddle or risk falling off himself. Only after Mac dismounted and helped Jax did he realize he’d been shot.

Back at the wagon, Jax told Gus and Mac what had happened.

“I don’t know who it was, I didn’t see them.” Jax winced as Gus probed at the gouge in his shoulder.

“That cow came tearing back to us without you, we wondered what had happened.” Gus focused on cleaning the wound.

“I just hope it isn’t Larson, he don’t need any more cattle and I don’t want him on my tail.”

“Well, I’m of a different opinion. If he’s following us, all the better. That means he’s not at Little Springs, watching Meg. Now, I got this all cleaned up and it looks to me like he just grazed you. You’re lucky. Someone out there is praying for you. If that had gone into your arm, well, don’t know what we would’ve done.”

Jax nodded his agreement and sucked in sharply as Gus wound a bandage tight around the wound. He appreciated for the first time that Gus was with and had the know-how to bandage him up. He knew what was wrong and what to do about it. Meg had stocked them well with basic medical supplies because Gus had everything he needed from ointments to wrap for the shoulder and arm. Gus bandaged the entire shoulder and chest too tight to be comfortable, then bandaged the whole arm to his body because the horse had pulled his shoulder out of joint when he’d unseated Jax. The bandage limited Jax’s mobility quite a bit, but also reduced the additional damage riding would do.

He couldn’t help but remember how much better it had been to be bandaged up by Meghan. She was gentle and while the wraps had been tight when she’d done it, he hadn’t been uncomfortable. Gus had been all business and he felt even more roughed up by Gus than by the horse.

He looked like a dandy parade rider using only one arm, and he found riding any horse but his own difficult. His horse knew his body cues the best, all the others he rode wore him out. His injury slowed them down. He couldn’t ride like he wanted to and the already gruelingly slow pace was even slower now. He cursed to himself.
Now, it’ll be even longer until I get home…When did I start thinking of the ranch as home? And do I even have that right anymore?

He’d been worried about Meg ever since they’d left and now he was even more worried because it would take longer and Lars could be after him. He and all his men were on alert, looking for lone riders and careful of places people could hide in ambush.

The group hadn’t gone near any towns. In fact, they were avoiding them so he couldn’t send word back to Meg to let her know how they were doing. Soon they would be rid of the cattle. Then he could send a message to the boss-lady. He wondered to himself if she thought about him half as much as he’d been thinking about her?

~~~

September became cooler and soon it was October and still no word from Jax. Meg made the trip into town once a day. She worried about Jax, her father, and Pete. She couldn’t help but think about the dangers of the trail. The trip was long and potentially treacherous. A thought niggled at the back of her mind that something terrible had happened to the three men who meant everything in her life.

Meg hadn’t seen any of the repercussions in town that Mark had promised. She hadn’t seen Mark or heard any rumors at all. Every time she ventured into town she expected it, but it never came. His parents seemed almost terrified of her though, and that bothered her.

Meg came out to the kitchen to prepare her breakfast only to find Rose already at the stove like she used to be. Her back was to Meg and she was busy. She didn’t even notice when Meg came in the room. Meg was so happy to see Rose. Hurrying across the room, she opened her arms to give her a hug. She rounded the table and stopped short. Roses profile was much changed from just a month ago when Meg had seen her last. Her lower abdomen was rounded, protruding softly and it was obvious Rose was going to have a baby. Meg experienced that little stab of jealousy again. She should be exultant for her friend. Rose and Pete had been married such a long time and she’d never conceived. Now Rose was pregnant and her husband, her safety and support, was hundreds of miles away because of Meg.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she whispered, the hurt plain in her voice.

“Would it have made any difference?” she snapped, as frigid as Meg was hurt.

“Yes! I could’ve found someone else. Father could’ve recommended someone. I would’ve found a way.” Meg gripped the table for support.

“Then why didn’t you? I gave you the opportunity. I asked you if he had to go. You had the time to ask someone else. You chose not to. If Pete is injured or doesn’t come back, I’m leaving.” She refused to even look at Meg. Her movements were stiff and angry. “They are late and my fear and anger grows every single day. I’m alone over there. If something happens to me, I can’t send for help. I have no mother to rely on or other friends to help me. My one friend abandoned me and made work more important. Exactly like her husband did.” She sniffed. The jab hit home, Meg held back tears. Cruelty was uncharacteristic for the ever-solid Rose.

“Rose, don’t you dare treat me that way. We talked about this before the men left. We both agreed Pete had to go. Please, stay here. I go to town almost every day now anyway. Please, let me watch out for you.” She reached her hand out to Rose, wanting so much to make this up to her friend. She prayed desperately they would hear from the group soon.

Rose stepped away from her hand, “I don’t want to stay here with you. I don’t want to be near you right now. I can’t even control my anger with you anymore.”

“Why are you here now then?” Meg asked, perplexed by her friends sudden turn to dramatics when she had always been so stable.

“Why am I here?” she repeated, her voice taking on a high pitch. “I’m here to show you exactly what you’ve done. I’ve always been here for you. When your father cheated on your mother, I was here for you, protected you, and tried to make sure at least
you
would be left to love your poor father. Because, if I had to deal with your mother on a daily basis, I might do exactly what he did.”

“My father…” Meg’s eyes were wide.

“Your father cheated on your mother with a lady that managed the boarding house. She has since become ill and died. You have a half-sister.”

Rose seemed to be enjoying the continual barrage of shock waves hitting Meg. She used them like weapons.

“Didn’t you ever wonder why your father changed so much? Didn’t you ever wonder why your mom had her own separate room and sitting room? Didn’t it ever make you wonder why they stay together if they seem to hate each other so much?” Rose shook her head as if Meg were daft.

“I have a…sister?”

“Yes, I’m sure he was hoping for a boy to pass this ranch on to, but he didn’t get one. That was a great disappointment to him, to learn that Sophie had a girl.”

“Sophie…”

“Your father’s mistress was Sophie. He hadn’t been looking to cheat. He was, and still usually is, a good man. He made a terrible mistake, and he was sorry. He tried to tell Charlotte how sorry he was. He tried for years. Margot is probably sixteen maybe seventeen. He didn’t wait until he got caught. He felt so guilty about it that he confessed to Charlotte and wanted reconciliation. She promised him he’d never get it.”

“Rose, I’m sorry. I wish I’d taken to heart what you were asking me, I wish I’d understood,” she whispered. “I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me when you’re ready. I didn’t mean to hurt you or your baby.” Meg tried to change the subject. The new information about her family was overwhelmed her entirely.