To Honor and Cherish (8 page)

“Because of this young man, my daughter’s now short one man for her cattle drive, leaving tomorrow.”

“What can I do? He’s my son, but I’m no longer his keeper. He’s an adult and I certainly can’t go. I have the shop.”

“If Meg needs your help. Help her.” He enunciated each syllable slowly.

Mr. Scott nodded his agreement but his face said a war waged on in his head. He walked from the landing down the last few steps to the ground, untied his son and brought him up for dinner. Augustus knew it would be an uncomfortable night in that house and he hoped it would teach Mark a little lesson, though many opportunities had been ruined by that boy.

Augustus rode toward his own stable at the boarding house near the edge of town.
I need to be the extra hand for Meg. She will be short-handed if I don’t.
He ate a simple dinner at the boarding house with a friend he’d known for years and went home to prepare for his trip. He wasn’t sure his old bones could handle the long ride in the saddle, but he had to do it for his daughter. His wife wasn’t here to irritate him about it and try to stop him so he saw no reason not to. Plus, Jax might be willing to let him drive the wagon, and he could probably manage that.

~~~

Jax waited, pacing the kitchen like a caged lion, for Rose to emerge from Meg’s room. He flexed his hands to keep from punching something. Rose closed the door to Meg’s room so softly he wouldn’t have known if he hadn’t seen her, and came out to speak with him.

“Meg is just finishing up. She might be a little while. You should eat something. I’ll check on her to make sure she is asleep after a while, then you can take the water out.

He nodded, but it wasn’t food he was hungry for. He’d been told by both Mac and Meg to send Mark on his way. He’d been too interested in giving Mark a second chance to listen. This was as good as his fault. He deserved to be fired. He’d half expected her to do it tonight. Jax slammed his fist down on the table. The drive. He had to stay because she’d need him. When he got back, she’d fire him. He had no doubt about it. So much for finding someplace he wanted to stay.

Jax stalked outside to make sure his horse was in for the night and cared for. When he returned, he went in Meg’s room to retrieve the water from her bath. He looked down at her peaceful sleeping form. Knowing he shouldn’t linger, it wasn’t right to even be in her room, but he couldn’t help looking at her beautiful face. His gut wrenched and he cursed to himself. He’d ruined the one good thing he’d ever had. Her long lashes were closed and her hair was down around her shoulders. She was such a beautiful woman, and he should have protected her. He could never have her, especially now. If she didn’t fire him when he got back he’d act in every way but one as a husband would for her. She would never fear anyone or anything ever again.

Trying not to wake her, he took great care to draw the water out by bucket full then Rose helped him lift the tub out and dump it.

“I don’t like her being in this big house alone,” Rose pushed her sleeves back down into place. She’d pushed them up to move the tub.

“Go home, Rose. You may not see that man of yours for months. Go be with him. I’ll stay. I’ll sleep in the sitting room so it doesn’t scare her if she wakes up. I don’t want to frighten her even once more.”

Now it was his turn to hear Meg toss, turn, and talk in her sleep. Even from the other side of the house, he could hear her. Though he’d prevented Mark from going very far, he hadn’t gotten there soon enough and listening to her filled him with guilt. He’d noticed earlier in the day Mark had disappeared. He’d looked, but had to get so many other things done, he couldn’t waste too much time. Then, Gus showed up and he’d had to abandon searching for Mark altogether.

He’d been thanking Gus for his help when he saw Mark slinking into the barn. He’d taken his time finishing his conversation with Gus. If he’d excused himself to take care of Mark right away, he’d have caught him right away. He had been too far to off hear Meg screaming in the stable until he was right outside. The wind had prevented her voice from carrying. He hadn’t heard her until he was close enough to realize something was wrong. That had made him run. He’d thought maybe a horse had gone wild in the stall on her. He’d never dreamed he’d find what he did. How could he have been so wrong about his one-time friend?

Now everything was wrong. He was one hand short and Meg was not only hurt, her reputation would be ruined. Meg had been right. He shouldn’t have given his friend a chance when, ultimately, it was her and her ranch it affected. He couldn’t shake his feeling of guilt and he couldn’t relax enough to sleep.

~~~

Mark slipped out of his parent’s apartment above the mercantile, just as he’d done on numerous other occasions. No way would he go to a fishery. That sounded like work and the way his father had described it, it could just as well be torture. He slipped down the few blocks over to the boarding house, keeping to the deep shadows. He’d done his part in watching and ratting out Jax. Now it would be time to collect his fee and get out of this two-bit town. Jax may have been his friend at one point, but everyone had a price. The amount that Larson had named meant that Mark could finally move out of town, away from his parents and boring Little Springs.

He knew the way to the room, up the stairs and all the way back. He knocked two short raps to avoid disturbing the other people in the house. A scruffy older man came to the door and looked at him.

“What?” he asked.

“I need to see Lars.” Mark looked down the hallway to make sure no one saw him.

“Lars is at the bar. Ain’t that where he usually sees you?”

“I can’t go to the bar tonight. I need to head out of town. He asked me to watch for Jax. I did my part, I let him know as soon as Jax came into town. I even took a job out there to keep an eye on him. Now I need my money. I need to head out.”

The old man grinned, he was missing three teeth that Mark could see. “So, you want yer pay, eh? Well then, you best wait for the boss.”

Mark was nervous, he didn’t want to hang around. He wanted to get as far away from town as possible before his parents noticed he’d left. “Can’t you just pay me? I really need to leave town, now.”

“Nope, not my job. You’ll have to wait fer Lars or go find ‘im yersef.”

Mark ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “Fine, I’ll head down to the saloon.”

He made his way back down the hall, pulling on his vest nervously, and down the stairs. This would be a long night. No way would Lars hand over money at the bar. He’d be well into his cup by now. Mark poked his head in the saloon and saw about ten men sitting in there, all of them familiar to him.

“Mark, my boy, I heard you got into a bit of a predicament tonight. I’m glad it didn’t keep you from joining us.” Lars motioned him over to the table.

“Yeah…about that.” He trudged to the table. “I need to leave town, Lars. Can I talk to you in private for just a minute?” he asked. His face contorted into what he hoped was submission and respect.

“Mark. Look around, it’s nighttime. Time for fun. We don’t talk business at this hour. Let me buy you a drink.” He held up his hand to the bartender to send them a round of drinks.

Mark sighed, he could stay and hope he’d get paid once Lars was drunk enough to forget or he could fold this hand he’d been dealt and leave without pay. Tough call.

“Sorry Lars, I can’t join you. I need my money. If you could see fit to break your rules this once, I’ll be out of your hair for good.”

“I like that idea.” Lars hit the table with his palm and nodded his head. “Get out of my hair for good.”

Mark’s eyes lit up like he’d won as Lars pulled his gun and put a bullet between them.

“Get this bonehead out of here.” He gestured to the door with his gun. “I don’t need his parents’ whining. Make it look like he left town. Oh, and give me his beer.”

Chapter
Eleven

Jax listened to Meg’s agony for most of the night until the sun came over the horizon. Right before the cock crowed, he heard something that made his blood run cold. As plain as day in her sleep, Meg called out, “Jax, you can’t leave me, too!” He got up to prepare for the long day ahead. He couldn’t stop to think about the chocolate-haired beauty he would leave behind, perhaps for good, and tried to remind himself he was doing what she wanted him to.

He found some ranch stationary in an old desk in the sitting room, along with a pencil. Meg was the quietest she’d been all night and he didn’t want to disturb her to let her know they’d be leaving soon. He’d told her yesterday morning of the plan to leave today, so it shouldn’t be a surprise when she woke and he was gone. Though he craved an excuse to go in and check on her, see her just one more time.

He picked up the pencil, tapping his lips with it, and considered his words carefully. Writing wasn’t easy for him. His mother had insisted he learn to write, not only read, but he’d fought it pretty hard at the time. Now, in this moment, he wished he’d paid a little closer attention. Each word was important.

Dear Meghan,              May 20, 1900

I did not want to wake you. I hope you are all right and that you are able to mend while the men and I are gone. I regret I did not listen to you about Mark. I realize now you do know how to run this ranch, I won’t doubt your advice in the future. We can discuss our agreement when I return.

We are getting a late start on this drive. I expect it to take us to the end of August to make it to South Dakota. Should be quicker for the return trip, but not much. We will still have the wagon. That will slow us down. Expect us around Thanksgiving.

Take care of yourself and Rose. Your father would be willing to move out here until the end of summer if you ask him. He will understand about the cattle, just tell him. I’d rather you not be alone.

I will try to send a letter if anything goes wrong, but I’m not sure if our route will take us near many towns.

Jax

He read the letter over twice. He didn’t know how to end it, so just his name would have to do. It sounded colder than he felt, but he couldn’t tell her about his feelings. Her trust in him would be destroyed. He longed to comfort her at least in words. It wouldn’t be right to do that. He folded the letter and wrote her name on the outside, leaving it on the table for her to find.

Jax went outside to wake his men and to get this drive over as quickly as possible. He found that, as excited as he’d been in the past week to do this, now he only wanted to stay here. He wanted to plant himself right by Meg’s front door and shoot anyone who went near her. Thinking about yesterday made him furious all over again.

Jax threw orders at all his men one after the other and they rushed around to obey. He felt gruff and unreasonable. None of them could do the job quite right. Pete arrived a few minutes later and didn’t seem to need orders. He just started doing things that needed to get done.

Soon they were all ready to leave. Jeff sat on the wagon and they were about to round up the cows from the front pasture to start the drive when they saw a lone horse and rider approaching. Jax’s anger burned in him and he hoped it was Mark so he could relieve some of his aggression on Mark’s face. Soon he realized that it wasn’t Mark, but Gus. It wasn’t his place to tell Gus about the drive, but Meghan wasn’t here and it would soon become apparent all of the cattle were going on this drive. He hadn’t signed on to deal with a family dispute, but it looked like he’d have to start one anyway.

Jax flicked the reins against his thigh in agitation while he waited for Gus to arrive. Gus pulled up his horse in front of Jax and looked at each man in turn, then cleared his throat.

“You’re one man down.” He wasn’t asking.

“Yes, sir,” Jax replied.

He raised a white eyebrow at Jax’s use of ‘sir’. “All right, sent a wire to my wife last night in London to go ahead and stay through Christmas. That way, I can heal after this long ride before I have to deal with her again.”

The men around him shared a quiet laugh.

“Won’t Meghan worry where you are?” Jax asked, thinking about the letter he’d written and wishing Gus would stay here with his daughter.

“I left her a letter at the post. I think I can be of more help with you than sitting here worrying.”

“All right then, are you in charge, or am I?” He clipped his words and set his jaw.

Gus thought about that for a moment, tilted his head, and then looked Jax in the eyes.

“Meg hired you. If she trusts you, than I trust you,” Gus replied.

“I’ll remember you said that.” Jax smiled and clicked his tongue, turning his horse toward the opening of the pen and the restless cattle.

“Gus, why don’t you take chuck wagon duty? You know medical care, I don’t want you getting injured.”

“I was hopin’ you’d ask.”

Jeff, who’d originally been given the task, was so pleased he jumped off the rig to make room for Gus. He grabbed Gus’s horse and led it over to the others that would be needed for the drive.

“We’re taking all the cattle with us. Are we selling the entire herd?”

“Yes sir.” Jax nodded. “Meghan and Rose can’t watch them while we’re gone.”

“Mmm.” He looked at the ground and flattened his lips. “I’m going to move on ahead so you don’t have to hold back for me. Giddup.” He flicked the reins and the wagon was off on the trail.

~~~

Meg knew no one could see her. She was in her father’s old bedroom upstairs. It was a portion of the house she never used anymore. All the furniture was covered in white sheets and dust covered everything. Watching the scene from the window, she saw her father talking to Jax and knew what he’d chosen to do for her. Her heart went out to him, because she knew it would be a difficult trip. She hated to even think it, but her father was so much closer to the man she remembered and loved while her mother was away. She said a prayer for reconciliation in her family and thanksgiving for her father and his understanding of their needs.

Her sight rested on Jax and a longing to see him one last time came over her. He rode like he was an extension of his horse. His movements were so natural, like the horse had been born for him and he was born to ride that horse. As soon as he was back from the drive, she had every confidence she’d chosen the right man for the work she’d planned. There would never be another cow on this property, at least not any time in the foreseeable future. This man could handle horseflesh, and that’s what mattered now.

The drive had taken all but two of her horses in the corral. She didn’t need to wait to start on her plan. It wouldn’t be much work to add a few horses to the stable, even on her own. She wanted to breed and train Quarter horses. With the hands they had, there should be no trouble starting the operation and still have a man or two to take horses to shows and fairs. They simply had to find out when and where the next fair was.

Her sister, Lizzy, would also love taking over something that had grabbed Meg’s heart so completely. She loved horses as well, and they were so much more cultured than cattle. It wasn’t like Lizzy would ever work, even if she did get the ranch. Lizzy was in Europe until Christmas, going to balls and parties, meeting men everywhere she went. She’d probably come back married, or at the very least promised to some rich, titled Englishman. That had been Charlotte’s ambition for her.

Meg watched Jax until his shadow merged with the giant dusty mass of moving cattle. Realizing after they’d disappeared she hadn’t even looked at the other riders to make sure they were all there. She’d been so enthralled by watching Jax she hadn’t noticed anyone else. Holding his note in her hand, she opened it, turning away from the window to allow the early morning light to shine on the thick paper. She read it once more.

Meg noticed his handwriting was neat and tidy. She laughed at his use of the word
regret
. It wasn’t quite an apology, but it was a start. The letter was short, but thoughtful. Chase had loved her, she was almost sure, but he’d always expected her to shrug things off, get back to work. Work would make you forget. She didn’t have one single note from Chase. In fact, the only gift he’d ever gotten for her was her wedding ring, a simple silver band. Lost in thought for a moment, she touched the tiny cold band, spinning it around her finger, and a pang of loneliness crept over her.

He’d always been steady and there for her. He’d cared for her safety, and he’d helped her to learn many new things. They’d shared a good life and had cared for each other abundantly. She hadn’t desired him or found him particularly handsome, but they’d still been happy and close, most likely because they’d chosen each other.

It made her feel shameful and wrong thinking about Jax. Maybe she’d talk to the Reverend alone after service next Sunday. She’d known Jax for almost a month now and would miss her conversations with him. It wasn’t right to enjoy the company of a man so quickly after losing her husband.

Rose came a few hours later and they fell into working together. Rose didn’t talk about what had happened the day before and Meg didn’t divulge any more about it. Working out in the garden took most of the day, but busy hands kept her mind from thinking about the past or the future. Cleaning and preserving what they’d collected took the remainder of the day. It was good, hard work and made the day go by quickly. They continued a similar routine over the next few days. Finally, it was Sunday and Rose came to the house so they could ride to church together.

~~~

The service kept Meg’s attention. Reverend Thomas stood up front in his black suit and collar. His speech and presence expressive and honest. He spoke on being humble and working hard, not only at our work, but on our attitude and to those who are needy.

“Finally,” he raised his voice and spread his arms wide, “Jesus’ commanded us to ‘feed his sheep’ and that means those who are needy physically and spiritually.” He lifted his Bible in the air for emphasis.

Meg sat up straight in her seat. She couldn’t believe it. Had he read her mind? It was as if that part was exactly for her. She’d tried to listen to God about Jax, and so far, He’d provided the perfect person she needed. Maybe she was the one person he needed? Maybe Jax had something to learn from her or needed from her?

Waiting patiently, she let everyone leave while she remained seated. It took a long time for the Reverend to shake everyone’s hand and say something personal to each one. He’d always said that if he was personal with those he was shepherding, they’d be more likely to allow themselves to be herded.

She noticed not one person looked at her as if she were the topic of gossip or said anything about her and her foreman. She didn’t notice any whispering behind hands that came with particularly good gossip. Mark must have changed his mind about ruining her. At least she could be thankful for that. She hadn’t seen Mark’s parents at the service at all. Motioning to Rose to go on out, she indicated she’d be out shortly. She didn’t want Rose, especially with how she disliked Jax, to hear this admission or would the Reverend call this a confession?

“Meg, I’m so glad to see you back.” He gripped her hand and held it smiling at her. “Are you doing all right? You seem troubled. What can I do for you?” he sat next to her on the wooden bench, still holding her hand.

“Reverend Thomas, I’m not even sure how to say this.” She paused and took a deep breath to gather her thoughts. “I’m struggling because I’ve been enjoying the company of my new foreman. I love our conversations together. He is good at what he does and I feel better knowing that he’s there. But, I also feel like I’m not honoring Chase.”

“Meg,” the Reverend interrupted. “I’ve known you since you were a child. You did love Chase, and with him being taken so suddenly, part of your heart is an open wound. It will let in what you allow in. Not all those things will be bad, but some can be. For example, if you clean a wound with soap it’ll heal more quickly. Allow it to get filthy and it opens back up and becomes infected. Do you understand?”

Meg nodded in the affirmative. “I think what you’re saying is soap is good to let in a wound, debris is not?”

“Yes, exactly. God’s timing is much different than our own. He isn’t always going to wait the prescribed amount of time to bring someone new along to heal and cleanse the hurt. It doesn’t mean this foreman will take Chase’s place. But if he’s helping you to heal and run your ranch, I’d say that’s a gift. You can’t do it alone.”

Meg nodded, but it still seemed a bit wrong to enjoy the company of a man and she fidgeted in her seat and looked at the floor.

The Reverend noticed her look. “Also, I don’t know if you are concerned about having feelings for this man, but consider Ruth, Naomi’s daughter-in-law. She had lost her husband and while she still appears torn up about the loss, comes back to Naomi’s homeland where she meets Boaz. It doesn’t say she loves him, but he protects and cares for her. She doesn’t wait for a year, she’d have mourned for her husband for the 30 days the law prescribed and then found another protector.

“Like you, the things Ruth did could’ve had dire consequences without the help and protection of Boaz. She gathered grain in fields as a stranger in a strange land, and she could’ve been attacked at any time.”