The Voyage (24 page)

Alex looked down at her blonde hair glowing in the starlight. She looked up at him.

“Well, goodnight,” he said.

“Alex?”

“Yes…”

“Would you like to come in and stay the night? My roommate is on leave. She won’t be back until tomorrow. I have the room all to myself...” Nelly said.

Alex looked into her eyes. They shined like candle flames in the moonlight. It had been a long time since he held a woman in his arms, a long time since he’d felt the wonder of release…

“Alex…” Nelly said, cocking her head and smiling just a little. Then she opened the door and beckoned to him...

Chapter 87

Benny took Anna on a trip up to Boston. She loved the cozy restaurants and friendly neighborhood bars. They walked hand-in-hand through Harvard square, and then toured the hallowed halls of the famous university. For three glorious days, they explored the history of America. Anna marveled to see so many of the landmarks she’d learned about when she had studied for her citizenship. Then Benny rented a car and they drove up to Maine, where they ate lobsters and spent entire days lying in bed and making love. Benny didn’t earn as good a salary as he might have as a lawyer, but his generosity toward Anna made her feel like a goddess. In turn, she sacrificed time with her friends, even Wera, and spent every free moment with him.  Neither Benny nor Anna ever mentioned Alex, but for Anna he was always there, a presence in the room reminding her of her commitment. She worried about him, prayed that he hadn’t been killed, or worse, captured. Strangely as happy as she was with Benny, her heart still belonged to Alex. 

But Anna had never before felt so carefree, so adored, and she couldn’t resist being swept up in the wonder of it all. She had no doubt that whatever cards the future dealt to her, Benny would be there standing behind her, holding her up if need be. And because his fervor was so contagious, she came to believe in his causes and to admire the way he cared and worked to protect the less fortunate. 

The other salesgirls at Gimbels began to gossip. They saw Anna leave work with Benny every night, and they noticed that whenever Anna took time off work, Benny disappeared as well. She discussed the situation with Benny and asked him to try and be more discreet. He agreed to make the effort, for her sake. Personally, he said, he didn’t care what people said about him. He loved Anna and he wasn’t ashamed of his feelings.  But because it mattered to her, when Benny held a union meeting, he treated Anna as if they were only working colleagues, but anyone could see the electrical current that ran between them. The way that they glanced at each other, the secret smiles they shared...

Even though Benny made every effort to be careful and he used precautions, Anna became pregnant. She was distraught. It had been three years since she last time she had been with Alex. If she gave birth to a child, there would be no doubt that Alex was not the father.

“I think we should see if we can find a doctor who is willing to help, or even a medical student,” Anna said as they sat on the sofa in her apartment.

“That is far too dangerous. I refuse to put you at risk like that, Anna.”

“But I can’t have the baby. What would people say? What about Alex?  I can’t do it.”

“You can if you divorce Alex and marry me…”

“I thought you weren’t the type of man to ever get married.”

“That was before I met you…” Benny said and he squeezed her hand.

Chapter 88

Spring came slowly to England, melting winter’s last attempt at blanketing the earth in snow. Alex had become fairly good at his job. It took some effort to learn mechanics, but he’d done well.

After he finished working one evening he was on his way to the mess hall to meet Nelly when Sergeant Sife came walking up to him. Alex greeted his superior as was expected.

“You know Mittleman, I don’t much care for you. And I don’t take it too kindly that you been seeing that girl, Nelly. You’re a Jew and she ain’t one. You ought to stick to your own kind.”

Alex said nothing. He just stood listening.

“You hear me, Private?”

Alex nodded.

“I can’t hear you. I said do you hear me?”

“Yes, Sergeant.”

“And are you gonna quit seeing that girl?”

“No, sir, I’m not.”

“Like I said, Mittleman, I don’t like you. And me not liking you won’t do you no good; in fact it could just turn out to be your biggest mistake. You see I got it in for you. I can’t make you leave that girl alone, but I sure can make your life a living hell. You understand me, Private?”

“Yes sir.”

“And you still gonna go on seeing that Nelly?”

“Yes, sir, I am.”

“Stupid bastard,” Sergeant Sife said, shaking his head as he walked away.

The repercussions of that conversation were not immediate. In fact, Alex had almost come to believe that the sergeant was only bluffing.  But almost a week later, he discovered what the sergeant had planned. Alex lay on his bunk when he received a message that he had new orders.  Alex would be sent to join a platoon going into combat. They would be leaving for France in a few days. Alex did not have the exact location where they planned to land; none of the soldiers did, in case there were spies amongst the troops. However, he heard that the Allies had begun bombing northern France, giving Hitler the impression that they would land somewhere in the North. This led Alex to believe that the attack would take place in the South. However, he was not sure of anything. He could find himself landing in Poland for all he knew.  But what he knew for sure was that he was about to see combat and he had a good chance of being killed.

That night Alex took Nelly for a walk after dinner. There was a full moon and the night sky was almost blue in color. 

“I’ve received new orders. I am going into battle.”

“On land?” Nelly asked.

“Yes, I think so.”

“Oh my God, Alex, You are a mechanic, you’re trained to fix planes. You should complain. Tell them that you would be of more use working on equipment.”

“Who should I tell this to?”

“Your sergeant?”

“He’s the one who requested my transfer.”

“Why? Why would he do that to you? You’re good at your job. You never answer him back. Why would he want to send you into such a terrible, dangerous situation? And you haven’t even been properly trained for it.”

Alex shrugged. “I’ll be all right.”

Nelly started crying.

“Shhh, don’t cry. I wanted to fight Nazis. I joined the service for that very reason.”

“Alex you could be killed.”

“I know. But I have to do this. If I do, maybe the demons that haunt me will finally go away.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. All I know is you could be killed.”

“Shhh,” he said again and she laid her head on his shoulder.

“I will miss you. Will you write to me?” Nelly asked.

“Of course I will. And who knows, I might be such a terrible solider that they will send me back.” Alex smiled, but he knew that he’d better be a good shot.  He would need to be sharp, alert, and have plenty of
mazel
if he were going to survive.

After Nelly settled down, Alex went back to his barracks. He would never have told her, except that she would have found out after he had gone, and it would have been worse for her if he’d left without saying goodbye.  He wondered if he should tell Anna....

Chapter 89

June 5, 1944

An American ship docked on an inlet

on the South Coast of Britain

Alex reflected on his life as he gazed up at the full moon. If the seas had been calmer and the winds less wicked, they would have landed in Normandy tonight. But the weather had forced them to stop. 

There was a good chance he would die in battle tomorrow and he was afraid, afraid of death. Would it be painful? What was waiting on the other side? Perhaps nothing. What if there was nothing after death, just silence, a ceasing of existence? The thought terrified him and he refused to believe it; he knew there was a God. Although Alex didn’t always understand God’s actions, and he’d even been angry with God and argued with him, he’d felt God’s presence so many times in his life. He was sure that it was God who’d gotten him of Dachau, although he couldn’t understand why he was chosen to live, and his loved ones to die. God’s will sometimes made no sense to him. Then, once again, he felt God’s hand again after the fire when he hadn’t known where to go or what to do to care for Anna. God had guided him, and he’d found his way. Alex began to pray, not prayers from a book, but his own words, words from his heart. Never had he felt closer to God then he did lying outside looking up at the moon and knowing that tomorrow he would be face-to-face with death.  Whether death would claim him or not remained to be seen. But he could feel God beside him, and he allowed himself to put his trust in God.  And as he did he felt at peace. God would guide him, and if he died, God would take his hand and all would be well.

Dear God, please take care of Anna. If I should die, if you should choose to take me now, please help Anna to find someone who will love and take care of her. And wherever he might be, please watch over Manny. I owe him so much. He saved my life once, but more importantly, he saved my Anna.

Alex sighed, and he thought about writing to Anna, but there was a good chance the letter would never arrive. The decision not to tell her about his being sent to combat began to worry him. If he didn’t make it, it would come as such a shock to her. But at the same time, why worry her unnecessarily? What Anna had never understood about him was that he went away from her when things became rough to protect her from the depth of his emotions.  Never once had he planned to leave her, but he didn’t want to burden her. Instead he would go off and work things out on his own, then try to return with a solution. And now, again, he’d chosen not to burden her, to let fate take its course. Why have her waiting for the outcome on pins and needles?  If need be, there would be time enough for crying later.

The men awakened as ship pulled out of the inlet in the wee hours of the morning. “I have a message for you from General Eisenhower,” General Montgomery said. Then he told the infantry what Eisenhower had said.

“You are about to embark upon a great crusade…” Montgomery began, reading from the wire Eisenhower had sent.

Some of the men cheered, others just sat looking out at the water, quiet, introspective. They’d been told that they would be landing at a division of the Normandy beach that had been code named Omaha. From what Alex understood there were five sections of the beach, Omaha, Utah, Gold, Sword, and Juno.  It had been planned that they would arrive when the tide was low, enabling the soldiers to wade through the water onto the land without the threat of drowning.  An aerial invasion would take place simultaneously.

The sun had not fully risen as the ship arrived at its destination. Alex felt a wave of nausea hit him. The waters were choppy; men were seasick and vomiting over the side of the ship. Those unable to get to the side in time threw up right on the deck. Alex gagged at the smell. Because of low tide, the ship could not come close enough to shore to let the men out. Instead, they were loaded onto ducks, which could take them further in toward the beach. The men lined up to board the ducks, which ran back and forth picking up soldiers and dropping them off. When the men got off the ducks they were open targets for the machine-gun fire. But there was no way to bring them closer in; they had to go the rest of the way on foot. The men behind him in line pushed Alex forward. He boarded the duck, which bounced and jolted toward the shore. Dead bodies of soldiers who’d just left the ship floated all around them in a sea red with blood. Some of the men began to cry as the steel door of the duck opened, releasing them.  But the others forced them forward; there was no time to lose. Men began to pile out of the duck and try to run against the force of the water toward the safety of land. They held their guns over their heads to keep them from getting wet. Alex fought the desire to vomit.  Instead he began fighting his way through the water. Gunfire rained like a storm of death from the ten-foot cliffs that surrounded the beach. The bloody water splashed up in Alex’s face as men fell on all sides of him. He pushed the bodies of his fellow soldiers out of the way and pressed on. Then the open eyes of a dead solder caught his glance, and for a moment Alex forgot the chaos around him. It was a young boy, maybe nineteen. Alex could not take his eyes off the dead man. He stopped moving. It felt as if he were glued to the spot.  Poor boy, Alex thought, never to return home, never to see his loved ones again. A small voice in his head said, “Alex, don’t stop. Don’t look around you, and for God’s sake, don’t think. Just stay focused. Go forward; move as fast as you can toward the land. Get yourself to the safety of the trees.”

His heart pounded in his ears. The Canadian soldier whom he’d sat beside on the ship last night waded right next to him. Then Alex heard him scream as a bullet flew into his chest, ripping a hole the size of a baseball into his flesh.  That could have been me, Alex thought. It was only a few feet away.

Alex knew he must keep going, keep moving forward, no matter what he saw or felt. He must not stop. When he gently slid a dead body out of his way, Alex saw that one side of the young soldiers’ faces was nothing but a mass of bloody matter.

“Don’t think… You must not think. Get to the shore…alive.”

The deafening roar of gunfire hurt his ears. If only he could move faster, but the weight of the water slowed him down. He struggled against the elements until finally he began to feel the sand more solid beneath his feet. A soldier sat on the beach crying. One shot, and he fell. Alex knew that he must not stop; he must concentrate on his own survival right now.
Just a few more steps and I’ll be on land.

When he reached the shore Alex started to run. He ran faster than he’d ever thought possible. He ran as if the devil were at his heels, as a hailstorm of bullets raced one step behind.