The Lighter Side of Large (25 page)

Instead, he chews more slowly and swallows with a loud gulp. “Fat-free means flavour-free,” he says hoarsely, refilling his coffee cup and washing down the rest of the brownie. “Tastes like cardboard.”

For the rest of lunch, I try to find out more about Jae’s other business and past, but he deflects my questions politely. It makes me suspicious: why is he being so secretive? Is there something horrible to hide? My theories range from him being a serial killer to even worse: maybe he’s a player and I’m just a fling for him to fling away when the next target comes along.

All too soon lunch is over and Jae has to get back to work. He walks me to my car. “Thanks again, Bella,” he says.

“No, thank you. I had a lot of fun,” I reply.

Jae stands there a moment just looking at me. “I’ll call you soon.”

“Great,” I say.

And then he leans down and kisses me on the lips. It lasts forever as it is happening and then suddenly, it’s over. Just a lingering peck, but a very romantic peck. I get a tingly feeling all over, just like when Mika first kissed me, my first kiss, all those years ago in college.

“Bye,” he whispers.

I wait until he is almost out of sight, get into my car, and shriek with glee.

•

I’m not the only one who’s on cloud nine. I stop by Pa’s to check on him before picking up the kids at school. His eyes are shining and he can hardly sit still.

“What’s going on? I haven’t seen you this excited since the Wizards won the Plunket Shield.”

Dad clasps my hand. “You’ll never guess who came to visit.”

I sit down on the sofa. “J.R.R. Tolkien?” Tolkien was Pa’s favorite author.

“He’s dead.”

I shrug. “The Prime Minister?”

“Better.” He pauses. “It was your sister. Tiresa stopped by!”

The smile freezes on my face. “You’re serious? I’m shocked. Why?” I blurt out and instantly regret it. Of course I don’t mean to hurt Pa’s feelings, knowing how he’s waited for years for Tiresa to come back into his life, but this sudden appearance is out of character for her.

Dad squeezes my hand. “I know you don’t get along, but hear me out. Tiresa heard about my hospitalisation and came by to tell me that she’s going to pay all my medical bills.”

My jaw drops.

“Bella, your sister has been grieving all these years. Her anger at being taken from the only father she ever knew was misdirected. She only stayed away out of hurt, not because she ever meant to hurt you or me.”

“Right,” I nod in disbelief.

Dad stiffly gets out of his chair and paces the room. “Bella, my prayers are answered. I have my other daughter back.” He places a hand over his heart. “I don’t care about the bills, but it is a relief to know I won’t have to take a second mortgage out on the house. I resisted at first, knowing she has a wedding to pay for, but Tiresa won’t take no for an answer.”

Dad prattles on about Tiresa’s engagement party and wedding, but I don’t hear him. I simply cannot understand it. One day she threatens to take away my children; the next, she pays Pa’s bills. What is she doing? There has to be an ulterior motive behind her sudden generosity.

“Of course, it will be awkward seeing Mama Rose and the aiga again,” Dad says, “but I think life has come full circle. It is time for reconciliation and what better occasion for it than a wedding?”

But it’s Tiresa and Mika wedding, I scream inside my head. Mika cheated on me with my own sister. Doesn’t that strike anyone as cruel? Why is everyone celebrating Tiresa as some great person when she’s not?

“And Bella, I would be honoured to escort you to the engagement party,” Dad beams.

“Uh, I’d love to go to the party with you, Dad, but I already have a date,” I hear myself answer. But do I still want to go?
She is doing this to hurt me somehow. That’s all she ever does. Is it to make me feel guilty for not paying Pa’s bills? Why did Mama Rose have to tell her about my surgery?

“That’s wonderful news. Is it Jae?”

“Yeah.”

Dad sits next to me on the sofa. “Bella, I know this isn’t easy for you.” He slips his arm around my shoulder. “This is mine and Tiresa’s time for reconciliation. Your time to reconcile with her will come when the time is right.”

I lay my head on his shoulder. “I doubt it will ever be right. She did this to me, so she can fix it.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

“Regret is like underwear: we put it on everyday. It’s unseen yet a basis to everything else we wear.”

FROM BELLA’S BLOG
http://www.thelightersideoflarge.com/ch15

My boobs! My boobs!” I shriek.

“What about your boobs?” Sands asks from her comfortable seat nearby.”They don’t touch the floor anymore when I do push-ups!” I announce.

Sands applauds while eyeing a guy working out three treadmills over. “Bravo, busty, bravo. How many push-ups is that, five?”

I get up on my knees, breathless. “That’s five more than I could do a few weeks ago.” Sands is smiling at him now. “And after I dye my hair purple this afternoon, I’m getting a tattoo and eloping with a guy I met online.”

“How ya doing? Keep up the good work,” Sands calls to the guy. “Huh? What’d you say? I thought you liked Jae?” she asks.

I glare at her, hands on my hips. “Sands, can you take your mind off men for just one minute and focus?”

“Sorry,” she mutters. “So who are you eloping with?”

“No one” I puff, holding onto a weight bench to pull myself off the floor.

“You just said you met someone online.”

“Yes, I met him a few weeks ago and we’ve been chatting.”

“What’s his name?” Sands hands me a towel.

“His screen name is Romance, with the “man” capitalised; otherwise, I don’t know his name or what he looks like.”

Sands shakes her head. “Like that sounds safe. Stick with Jae. At least you know his name and what he looks like in those adorable tight jeans.” I blush. “A-ha! So you still like him,” she accuses.

“I never stopped liking him,” I defend. “It’s just that, oh, I don’t know,” I wrap the towel around the back of my neck, “why is he so mysterious about his other business and past? What is he hiding? And then he goes and kisses me, which indicates our relationship is moving forward, so that
should
mean he
should
open up more, right?”

Sands stands up. “I’m not the best person to ask about relationships. Mine usually don’t last beyond the second date. Now come on, let’s weigh you in.”

We trudge to Sands office. Outside the door is a scale. I step on it and shut my eyes while Sands adjusts the balance. She gasps.

“What?” my eyes pop open. I look at the scale - and shriek. “Is that right? I lost five more kilos. That’s twenty kilos so far. Yes!” I jump off the scale and jump up and down in a wild victory dance.

Sands gives me a hug. “Let’s celebrate this milestone. Friday night we’re hitting the town. It’s gonna be you, me and the male half of Nelson.”

With our weekend plans arranged, I pick up the kids from school. Once we’re home, I take a photo of myself and upload it to my online dating profile. It’s almost too incredible to believe that I’ve lost so much weight, gone down two clothing sizes, and am seeing a drop-dead gorgeous guy. I walk down the hallway to examine myself in front of the mirror.

No longer a torture device, the mirror shows a happy woman - still a heavy woman, but a happy woman with a smile and a sparkle in her eye.
Is this really me?
I wonder. Whoever it is, I like her better than the other woman who used to appear.

Blip.
The computer makes a noise, signaling a chat window has opened. I stroll back over to the computer and peer at the screen.

RoMANce: Hello again.

I sit down and type back:

ShyNSweet: We have to stop meeting like this;^) How are you?

RoMANce: Good. Just taking a breather while at work, reading your blog.

ShyNSweet: Don’t let the boss see what you’re doing LOL

RoMANce: Good thing I’m the boss. How you been?

ShyNSweet: Wonderful. Lost 20 kg as of today. See the new pix?

RoMANce: That’s great news. Congrats. You should celebrate.

ShyNSweet: I am. Going out with a girlfriend Friday night gonna paint the town red – well, hot pink at least. LOL

RoMANce: Why not go with a boyfriend?

ShyNSweet: What boyfriend? LOL There is a guy but he’s busy.

RoMANce: Too busy for a foxy lady like you?

ShyNSweet: Thanks for the compliment – he’s starting a new business.

RoMANce: Sounds like an excuse. Don’t mind me asking, but do you think he’s hiding something from you?

I’m startled by the bluntness of the accusation and accuracy of the question.

ShyNSweet: What a question!

RoMANce: Hey, I’m a guy. I know a thing or two.

ShyNSweet: He hasn’t been forthcoming about every single detail of his life; then again, we’re still getting to know each other. So, as a guy, what do you know? LOL

RoMANce: If you’re suspicious or harbour doubts about him due to erratic behavior, then you’re onto something.

ShyNSweet: I have more experience in being blindsided rather than the chance to grow suspicious. So far, suspicions are better.

RoMANce: How’s that?

ShyNSweet: My ex just up and told me one day that he was sleeping with my sister and didn’t love me and to get out of the house in 2 weeks. I hadn’t a clue that was coming.

RoMANce: Sorry to hear that.

ShyNSweet: Of course, I was in the throes of post-partum depression and had a two-week-old baby and an 18-month-old to care for, on top of helping my ex with his work, so no wonder why I didn’t notice much else. What a way to say thanks for years of support, you know?

RoMANce: I don’t know what to say. You must be a strong woman to deal with that.

ShyNSweet: What choice did I have? Even in this day and age, women are still expected to rely on men in some capacity for support, but when the men drop the ball, we can’t just sit around waiting for the next man. We have to survive.

RoMANce: So you are a survivor.

ShyNSweet: Damn straight I am.

RoMANce: Does your ex know how you feel - about him leaving?

ShyNSweet: He didn’t care to hear what I had to say. He made his decision and no amount of pleading did any good. He didn’t even want to try counselling. But now that I look back on it, it wouldn’t have done any good. We weren’t the same people who married one another.

RoMANce: So you were too dissimilar? You couldn’t learn to live with one another?

ShyNSweet: He wasn’t willing, obviously.

A scream pierces the house. “Muuummmmmyyyy!” Fi’s cry echoes through the house. “Snowball! It’s Snowball!”

The fear and hysteria in Fi’s voice ejects me from my chair. I race down the hall to her room, where she’s kneeling next to the rabbit cage. I can see from the door that Snowball the rabbit isn’t moving.

“Mummy!” Fi screams. “Snowball’s dead!”