The Lighter Side of Large (22 page)

“But your body needs time to get used to weight loss. Too much too soon isn’t good.”

“Then why didn’t the doctor say so? Trust me, it’s safe.”

Sands crosses her arms. “Oh, yeah, and doctors are totally trustworthy and know absolutely everything there is to know about health issues and don’t take bribes from pharmaceutical companies. And you’re pulling the money for this surgery out of which crevice?”

I hesitate to tell her but figure she’ll figure it out anyway. “Mika.”

“
What
?” Sands hollers. Everyone in the gym turns in our direction.

“Thank you for announcing it to everybody. Want to step outside and shout it to the rest of the city?” I complain.

“Are you crazy?” she asks. “What is this gonna cost you? Or is this payment for sleeping with him?”

“That’s a horrible thing to say,” I say. “There’s no strings attached. Remember how Mika wanted to pay alimony and I refused? How he’s always saying he’ll give me money to move to a better house? I calculated how much he would have given me if he had paid alimony and it’s well over the cost of the surgery. He said if I ever needed anything that I should ask him, so I did. He made it very clear that it is a gift, not a loan. And Tiresa is not to know about it. Ever.”

Sands puts her hands on her hips, shaking her head. “So what makes you want to do something so drastic?”

“Give me a break. Lap band surgery is not drastic. It’s quite common; it’s a day surgery. I’ll be back home by evening.”

“So why do it? Is it really just to lose weight faster? There’s something you’re not telling me, because you’ve never mentioned surgery before,” Sands accuses.

I plop down on a bench press seat. Sands leans against a treadmill. “It’s Jae’s friends. He is the most incredible guy I’ve ever met, but you should have seen all his friends and business associates at the grand opening. It was like being in that AmandaE store all over again. Everyone looked like models and rich folk and they were all looking down on me, making fun of me. I overheard someone say that Jae must be desperate to like me. One of them could hardly bring himself to shake my hand.” I shake my head. “But the thing that really got me was when someone said he couldn’t see me because of all the fat. Sands, I want to shed this fat-suit so people can see me.”

“Bella, Jae sees the ‘me’ you’re talking about and he likes and accepts you just as you are. It doesn’t matter what his friends think. Don’t get surgery just to gain their acceptance. Shame on them; who cares what they think?”

“I care; and Jae
will
care when he notices that they reject me.”

Sands shakes her head again. “Please don’t do this. I’m telling you, slow and steady wins the race and maintains the win. Shortcuts lead to disasters.”

I stand. “I’ve made up my mind, Sands. It’s done. I’ve already scheduled the appointment for all the pre-op tests. I’m not backing out.”

•

Dad and Mama Rose are happy for me when I share the news. I didn’t doubt Dad would be. He’s always been my rock, my strongest support and best ally. “And it’s only day surgery, so Sands agreed to take care of you that day. How does that sound?”

Dad pats my hand while keeping his upper body very still. “Whatever makes you happy. I don’t need taking care of, by the way. I’m doing just fine, especially now that I can read instead of listen to books.”

I give him a hug. “Dearest Dad - what would I ever do without you?”

“You’d have a life instead of hanging around here all the time. Not that I mind; it’s always a joy to be with my daughter. But you need to be more social.”

“Maybe I am,” I say slyly, sitting down on the sofa.

Dad raises an eyebrow. “Does this have anything to do with the fellow you jumped off a bridge with?”

I tell him all about the grand opening minus the bad bits and the romantic dinner.

“When do I get to meet him?” he asks.

I laugh. “We haven’t even gone on our third date. I think it’s a bit soon to be introducing family. Especially Ma’s side of the family. Can you imagine what Mama Rose will do if I bring him to her house?”

“I know exactly what she’ll do,” Dad laughs. “Because it happened to me. She sent your mother’s cousins scrambling and the next thing I know, I’m wearing a lava lava and Big Ben’s best aloha shirt, which was five sizes too big. Mama Rose was so shocked that her daughter brought home a white man that she felt compelled to disguise the fact with bright, printed clothing.”

Even though I’ve heard the story a thousand times, I laugh so hard that I almost fall off the sofa, especially since Dad still had several shirts in his closet from Big Ben, who always gave Dad with a new aloha shirt at every family function-pressured by Mama Rose, no doubt. Mum always claimed she was going to sew a blanket with matching curtains out of those shirts, but never got around to it.

“Speaking of Mama Rose, I need to call her to see if she can watch the kids the day of my surgery.” I get up from the sofa. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

“You’ve lost weight already,” Dad notices.

“Yes, I have – 13kg.”

“That’s my girl,” Dad says. “Are you writing about it?”

“About what? Losing weight?”

“Yes.”

I shake my head. “No. Why would I?”

“Because you’re a fantastic writer and you haven’t written anything in years.” Dad should know. I let him critique my every editorial for the college newspaper.

I shrug. “What’s there to say? I work out, I sweat, I eat raw fruits and veggies. The end.”

“There’s more to it than that,” Dad insists. “There is the emotional aspect of dieting, the frustration with it, the challenges it presents, and the reasons for dieting in the first place. You may not realise it, but you have the makings of a column.”

I chuckle. “Dad, no one wants to read about a fat lady.”

“Maybe, but they do want to read about someone going through the same trials as they’re going through. Just knowing there’s someone else out there facing the same hurdles is inspiring. Plus you won’t stay a “fat lady”; as you lose weight, you’ll find new things to write about. I’m serious, Bella. I worked in a library for years; I know what newspapers and periodicals look for. They want fresh ideas, which are scarce, considering the garbage they rehash over and over. You should look into it.”

The idea makes me wonder. Jae encouraged me to pick up my drawing pencils again; why not start writing again? There was a lot to say about the misadventures of being obese, besides the emotional struggle of losing weight. Even better, I can draw cartoons of those misadventures, combining both loves into one purpose.

“I will think about it,” I promise.

•

My lap band surgery is scheduled and I am super excited. The only bummer is that Dr Wilson is so busy that it will be four weeks until the surgery. Meanwhile, I work extra hard all week to lose more weight and am rewarded with the loss of 3kg by Friday.

I decide to take photos of myself showing the progression of my weight loss. It was Sands’ idea to do “before” and “after” shots, but I think it will look neat to do a shot every two weeks, like women do when they’re pregnant.

I post them on my new blog. Pa’s idea for me to write a column sparked my imagination, and the next thing I knew, I set up a blog titled
The Lighter Side of Large,
referring to my future weight loss and the humorous side of being big. What better place to stretch those writing muscles and get feedback on my latest cartoons? The only followers of my blog are Sands, Riyaan, Dad and Jae; they leave a lot of positive comments. Especially Riyaan, who rather overdoes it with the exclamation marks, but it is sweet of him.

I decide to upload my most recent photo to my online dating profile. Not that I am looking for a date, but in case,
just
in case it doesn’t work out with Jae, I want to keep my options open.

While uploading the photo, a chat window pops up.

RoMANce: Hey there.

ShyNSweet: Hey there yourself. What’s up?

RoMANce: Just reading your latest blog post. Funny as always. How are you?

ShyNSweet: That was fast. You must be lurking on my blog. I’m EXCITED!!!

RoMANce:???

ShyNSweet: I am scheduled to have lap band surgery in four weeks. On my way to a skinnier me.

RoMANce: Cool. I see your new photo. Looking good. Have you lost more weight?

ShyNSweet: Sure have – 13kg so far.

RoMANce: Congrats. How much will you lose with the lap band?

ShyNSweet: Depends on how much I eat or don’t eat LOL. It’s a very strict diet at first, liquids only, then pureed foods. I forget what comes after that.

RoMANce: How long will you be in hospital?

ShyNSweet: It’s day surgery.

RoMANce: That’s convenient.

ShyNSweet: Yes, but I do have to go back for check-ups when they adjust the band as I lose weight, so it’s not a one shot deal.

RoMANce: I’m sure it will all be worth it to see the new improved you.

ShyNSweet: I hope so. When do I get to see you?

RoMANce: When I get brave enough to post a photo of little old me. What made you decide on surgery?

ShyNSweet: Want to lose weight faster. Tired of being mocked and rejected and judged for being fat and it takes so much effort to lose even a few pounds.

RoMANce: Who did that to you? Want me to beat them up?

ShyNSweet: LOL thanks. I would like to throw a punch or two. I was at a social function with a friend and his “friends” were quite rude to me. They acted like they were better than me, made me feel like dirt so I decided to get the surgery so there won’t be any more fat to judge.

RoMANce: Wow, that’s intense. What did your friend do about their rudeness? I would be telling those wankers where to go. A lady deserves to be treated with respect. That’s just common courtesy.

ShyNSweet: He was so busy, he didn’t notice what was going on.

RoMANce: Seems like it would be hard to miss. There’s no excuse for bad manners.

ShyNSweet: Tell that to them. They are fashion people – rich, pale white, stick-thin models and their ilk, too good for themselves.

RoMANce: Are you sure you want to be around this guy if those are his friends?

ShyNSweet: He’s not like that at all. I think most are old business associates. Don’t know if he hangs with them anymore. But I’m used to that sort of treatment for being overweight.

RoMANce: People are rude and treat you like dirt all the time?

ShyNSweet: Not all the time but it happens. I was in a clothing shop a few weeks ago and the salesgirl told me to leave because she works on commission and couldn’t sell me anything in my size.

RoMANce: I’d sue them.

ShyNSweet: It gets better: my sister was in the store and heard the whole conversation and didn’t come to my defence.

RoMANce: I’m sorry to hear that.

ShyNSweet: There is one advantage to being big.

RoMANce:?