The Honorable Barbarian (20 page)

"My wife," said Kerin, thinking that Oshima's cantankerous manner was enough to subvert any system of etiquette.

"Wife, eh?" snarled Oshima. "Does she respond with invigorating delight when you mount her?"

"Uh—" said Kerin, feeling himself flush. He tried to answer, but so violent was his embarrassment that only inarticulate sounds came forth. He wanted to say: "None of your futtering business, you damned old clown!" but dared not. While he struggled for utterance, Nogiri quietly remarked:

"We manage to our mutual satisfaction, my lord."

"Good!" barked the wizard. "Any fool can see you are the more intelligent of the pair. The trouble with the Heavenly Empire is that women are deemed mere things of no account, thus depriving the society of the effective use of their talents."

"Take him not to heart, Master Rao," said Hiei. "He likes to utter absurdities for the pleasure of shocking his hearers."

"Nought shocks the multitude like an unwelcome truth," growled Oshima. "Now let us see."

Oshima broke the seal on the package and unfolded the paper. He scanned the lines of Mulvanian writing, grunting: "Hm, hm." At last he said:

"This seems to be the formula for making Ajendra's fan—or to be exact, Tsunjing's fan brought hither by Ajendra. Making and ensorceiling the thing will take at least a month, and we cannot send Master Rao on his way until we know if the fan does work. So, Master Hiei, you must needs find quarters for the barbarians, where they can live until we release them."

"Excuse me," said Kerin, "but what is your part of this bargain with Mulvan?"

"Oh, it is merely the secret of the device for finding the true north—"

"Enough!" barked Hiei. "You should not talk about it."

"Since Master Rao will doubtless break the seal and read the contents, as I suspect he have already done with this one, it makes little difference. Well, get on with it! I must concentrate on deciphering these Mulvanian squiggles."

As they left the wizard's oratory, Hiei said: "Now I shall find you quarters. If there be a vacancy in the Diplomatic Village, you shall reside there whilst we await the result of Oshima's experiments."

"Wilt take care of that matter, Honorable Hiei?" said Toga. "This lump of iniquity has not yet been home to his wives and children. I must also pay off the chairmen. You will take care of the baggage porters, I trust?"

"Run along, Master Toga," said Hiei, "ere you burst your breeches with unrequited lust. At least you are not a boy lover like Secretary—but I had better not name names before these foreign devils. Come with me, my dear barbarians."

Following Hiei, Kerin said: "Your wizard seems—ah—different from other Kuromonians."

Hiei chuckled. "You allude to his appalling manners, eh? By the fifty-seven major deities, anyone else would have lost his head for his temerity long ago! Oshima keeps his attached by virtue of being the ablest wizard in the Empire and by the fear he inspires. All believe that if one made a hostile move against him, he would instantly evoke some demon or dragon to destroy one. Fortunately he has no lofty ambitions. So long as we furnish him with a wellequipped oratory for his researches, he is satisfied."

Followed by the baggage porters, Hiei led Kerin and his bride to a walled enclosure in the farthest corner of the Prohibited Precinct. Inside were smaller enclosures—Kuromonians, Kerin thought, must have a passion for building walls around things—each containing a little house with a garden. At the gate outside the Diplomatic Village, guarded by soldiers in brazen helmets and gilded cuirasses, Hiei spoke with a man in the office beside the gate. He told Kerin:

"Master Sinsong says he has just the place for you, save that the present tenants are but now departing. If we sit on this bench, he assures me you shall soon be settled. Meanwhile he will have tea brought. I must compliment you on your progress with the language of civilization. Why, I can understand what you are driving at more than half the time!"

"Thankee," said Kerin. "Tell me, pray, the story of this magical fan!"

"I suppose it will do no harm," said Hiei. "The tale begins centuries ago. The wizard Tsunjing made it for the then King of the Gwoling Islands. With it one can fan any creature out of existence and bring it back by tapping the wrists and head according to a code. When Prince Wangerr, grandson of that king, encountered a dragon on Banshou Island, he fanned it away.

"Generations later, the fan came into possession of the Mulvani ascetic Ajendra, together with the code book listing the taps to summon back beings of every category."

Nogiri spoke, as she had seldom had a chance to do that day. "What befalls the vanished beings?"

"None is certain," said Hiei. "One school holds that they be translated to another dimension, coexistent with this one. Another believes they be dispersed into their constituent atoms, to be reassembled by the signal for recall. To continue: Holding to a principle of harmlessness, Ajendra had no use for the fan; but he wanted money to endow a temple to his favorite gods in his native village, where he could pass his remaining days in meditation of the Thatness of the All.

"Since the Mulvanian king was straitened by the costs of a recent war and so could not alford to help with the project, Ajendra brought the fan to Chingun in the reign of Tsotuga the Fourth. He persuaded the Son of Heaven to pay ten thousand golden dragons for the fan and the code book, with a military escort back to his native land.

"Tsotuga was not an evil man, but testy and irascible. When one of his ministers argued too strongly against some project the ruler had set his heart on, Tsotuga sometimes fanned the unfortunate mandarin out of existence. Meanwhile he had packed the code book away in a special place, to be sure of finding it in emergencies—but now he could not remember where he had put it.

"After the disappearance of the mandarins of the departments, the rule fell into confusion. Underlings devoted themselves to intrigue, peculation, and private business interests instead of to their proper work. Hard times came upon the land, aggravated by the paper-money inflation that Tsotuga had launched against the wish of Finance Minister Yaebu. Misliking Yaebu's advice, Tsotuga had fanned him away.

"At last Tsotuga took counsel with his consort, Empress Nasako, and hired an able supervisor of provincial roads and bridges, Zamben of Jompei, as Prime Minister. Tsotuga did not know that Zamben and Nasako were secret lovers who plotted to get rid of the Emperor.

"Zamben inveigled Tsotuga into a game of
sachi.
Whilst they fumbled on the floor for a piece that Zamben had dropped, the Prime Minister managed to trade fans with the Emperor, and a wave of the magical fan did the rest.

"Zamben married Nasako and became the Dowager Empress's consort. He improved administration but also set himself to reconstruct the missing code book for recovering beings banished by the fan. He tried out combinations of raps, with a secretary to record the kind of being recalled for each procedure. Amongst others he restored Finance Minister Yaebu.

"Eventually he inadvertently gave the combination that recalled the dragon that Prince Wangerr had vanished long before. The dragon snapped up Zamben, fan and all, ere Zamben could defend himself and fled from the Proscribed Palace.

"Prince Wakumba, though a stripling of fourteen, became Emperor. After the ceremony he pulled off the plumed and winged crown, complaining of its weight. Whilst poking about this complex headpiece, he caused a metal flap to spring open, revealing the missing code book. Tsotuga had hidden the book in the secret compartment. Since, however, the fan was gone, and nobody in the Empire knew how to make another, the book was filed away in the archives.

"Our present Ruler of the World, the divine Dzuchen, wished to possess a magical fan to go with the code book. So he tracked down the spiritual descendants of the ascetic Ajendra, hoping that amongst them the formula for making such a fan might still exist, having been passed down from guru to chela. With the help of Doctor Oshima's divinations, the magician Ghulam was found to possess these instructions. So our Son of Heaven agreed with King Lajpat to trade this secret for something else, possessed by the Heavenly Empire. Therefore—"

Hiei broke off as a party approached the gate from within. It comprised a group of stocky, brown-skinned, flat-faced men in sheepskin coats, left open because of the heat, bulbous fur hats, and big felt boots. A gaggle of baggage porters followed them.

"The nomad envoys," murmured Hiei.

Kerin became aware that these men could be smelled almost as far as they could be seen. He could not tell how much of their mud-brown hue was natural and how much a coating of dirt. They marched out, ignoring Kerin and his party, and barked commands. Grooms appeared with a train of horses. When the baggage had been secured to some of these, the nomads mounted, gave a wild yell, and galloped off, heedless of any pedestrians in their path.

As Kerin and Nogiri were being settled in the cottage assigned to them, Kerin asked: "When may I depart, pray?"

"When the fan has been completed and tested," said Hiei.

"In other words, this is a polite form of imprisonment?"

"Say not so, honorable Master Rao! Since you are destined, if the fan prove successful, to carry the returning message back to Mulvan, we must assure ourselves that you will be available when the time arrives."

"May we leave the Diplomatic Village at will, then?"

"Certes, so long as you remain within the Prohibited Precinct."

"Suppose we wish to see more of your great city?"

"If you will send a message, this person will arrange your escort. It will be for your personal safety, since it is easy to lose oneself in Chingun or fall prey to criminals, whereof we have, alas, a plethora. And now, honorable barbarians, I must return to my duties. As said the wise Dauhai, nought encourages diligence in a subordinate like the sight of his superior practicing that virtue!"

As Hiei walked off, radiating self-importance, Kerin turned to Nogiri and said softly in Salimorese: "Didst hear what old Oshima said, ere Hiei shushed him, about their secret navigating device?"

"Nay. I caught only the word 'north,' for they spake too fast for me."

"Well, you know my bargain with Klung. If they hand me directions for the device and send me off—as they suppose, to Mulvan—there's half our problem solved." Kerin's face took on a worried look. "But I know not. If I promise to convey the secret to King Lajpat and then give it to Klung, I shall be a faithless . . ."

"Were I you," said Nogiri, "I should wait upon the event. If we be lost at sea or slain by pirates betwixt here and Kwatna, you'll never have to wrestle with your thorny conscience. And in Salimor, Master Klung may not even be amongst the living."

"Sensible, as always," said Kerin.

X

The Forbidden Interior

Kerin sat on the pavement outside the gate to the Diplomatic Village with his feet, in overshoes with roller skates, stretched out before him. He scowled up at Nogiri, who stood shaking with laughter.

"Damn it, woman," he growled, "if you be so clever, let's see you manage these devilish contraptions!" He angrily yanked the straps on the overshoes as he took them off.

"Your pardon, my lord," she said as she mastered her mirth. "But after your boasting of how easy it seemed, you looked so droll."

She sat on the bench and put on her own skates, while Kerin climbed painfully to his feet. "I shall have a sore arse tomorrow," he grumbled. "Kuromonian wives are more respectful."Nogiri sailed away on her skates. She wobbled a little at first but soon caught the knack and came flying back in a long curve. Then away she went in a figure-eight.

"By Imbal's iron pizzle!" said Kerin. "Hast been practicing on the sly?"

"Nay, my lord," she said, ending with a pirouette. "I did but watch the locals. If you would really prefer a Kuromonian wife, I daresay you could find some civil servant willing to trade."

"Good gods!" said Kerin. "Don't even think such thoughts. I may have more than half our thews betwixt us, but you have more than half the wit. I'm sorry I lost my temper; I must indeed have looked a blithering ass."

"And I regret laughing. Wouldst try again, more cautiously?"

An hour's practice made Kerin fairly proficient, and the two skated off to tour the Prohibited Precinct.

Kerin knocked on the door of Doctor Oshima's oratory. He heard a snarl from within: "What is it this time?"

"Rao the Mulvani," said Kerin. "We wondered how you did with the fan?"

"Oh, come in, come in! But waste not my time in useless chatter!"

Kerin pushed open the door. He and Nogiri had their roller skates tied together over their shoulders. Within, Oshima was holding one end of a tube of glass while a spindly, frightened-looking apprentice held the other end.

Oshima snapped: "Begone, Dong!" The apprentice scuttled out. Then to Kerin: "I take it you are learning to skate?"

"Aye, sir," said Kerin.

"Whence gat you the skates?"

"We begged the honorable Hiei. As I said, how are you—"

"You say you be from Mulvan?"

"Aye, sir. But how—"

"And your woman, from appearance and accent, is a Salimorese."

"Aye, she is. But—"

"That is odd. I have known other Mulvanians, but all were of much darker hue than you, like unto tea boiled all night long."

Kerin made a desperate lunge for a plausible excuse: "I have been out of the sun much lately."

"Hm, hm. I daresay you know your own origins, even though one could take you for one of those pallid, roundeyed barbarians from the Far West, who seldom reach the Empire. The honorable Aki dropped in a few days since, voicing suspicions of your authenticity; but he ever suspects the worst of barbarians. Well, what is your question? Hurry, now; I am a busy man!"

"About the fan, sir. How goes it?"

"It goes, but slowly. I need slabs of jade of a certain quality, for which I must needs send to Jade Mountain Province. What business is it of yours, anyway?"

Kerin let his irritation show. "Very much my business, because you people won't let me go my way until the thing be tested."

"Hm. Well, is there aught else?"

"Nay, sir. But—"

"Then good-day to you. Oh, Dong! Come back and get to work, you lazy losel!"

"Damned old churl!" muttered Kerin as they closed the oratory door behind them. "I wonder he still has his head attached, despite the fear he inspires."

"Be careful with him, my lord," said Nogiri. "Whatever his faults, he's a shrewd old curmudgeon."

"Right, as usual," grumped Kerin.

Kerin and Nogiri skated up to Hukuryu's tower outside the Prohibited Precinct. With them skated two soldiers in gleaming brass, to make sure that they were not lost or waylaid; and also, Kerin suspected, to see that they did not leave Chingun. The door in the tower opened to Kerin's knock, and a middle-aged Kuromonian bowed over clasped hands.

"To whom owes this inferior person this visit?" said the man.

Kerin explained that he was a traveler from afar who, hearing the marvels of Hukuryu's clock, had come to examine it, "if such inspection be permitted this humble barbarian," Kerin finished in Kuromonian style.

"The honorable barbarian honors this incompetent caretaker," said the man, bowing. "Enter by all means."

The interior was even noisier than the outside, so that Kerin had to raise his voice to converse. Shafts creaked, the escapement clattered, water splashed, and from time to time came an outburst of bells, drums, and gongs. Caretaker Zuikaku, a grandson of Hukuryu, was eager to explain the workings of his grandfather's clock:

"This person is delighted to find a barbarian willing to learn the rudiments of civilization."

The tower was about thirty-five feet high, counting the penthouse. Water, flowing through pipes and vessels, filled the thirty-six scoops of a water wheel, one after another. An escapement controlled the rotation of the wheel, allowing it to turn one scoop interval at a time. The wheel revolved once in nine hours, while water fell from the scoops into a basin below the wheel.

The wheel turned a wooden shaft with iron bearings. This shaft, by means of a crown gear, turned a tall vertical shaft, which worked the other machinery. This included the armillary sphere in the penthouse and five large horizontal wheels bearing jacks. Some of these jacks, in the form of mannequins, bore signs to indicate the hours, the tenths of an hour, sunrise, sunset, and the watches of the night. Other jacks marked these events by ringing bells and beating gongs and drums.

Kerin gave the most attention to the escapement. This was a system of tripping lugs, which held the water wheel against rotation until one scoop had been filled and then allowed it to move just far enough to bring the next scoop into the filling position.

"Whence comes the water?" asked Kerin.

"From the storage tank above. If the honorable barbarian will follow me up this ladder . . ."

"Skates off first," said Kerin. When he had climbed to the second story, he asked: "What dost when the tank runs dry?"

"Every day a convict is brought in to refill it," said Zuikaku. "He turns this crank, which pumps up water from the well."

"Sir," said Kerin, "you have given me more information than my poor little barbarian mind can absorb all at once. I trust I may visit you again?"

"This insignificant mechanic will be delighted, honored sir.''

Skating back to the Prohibited Precinct, Kerin said in Salimorese: "That was too easy."

Nogiri replied: "I should think you'd be pleased, to achieve your main goal without trouble."

"That's just the point, dear. In my experience, when things seem too good to be true, it usually means that they are. Belinka was a nuisance in ways, but I wish she were here to warn us."

In the cottage, Kerin spent the evening drawing diagrams on paper furnished by Hiei, showing the escapement mechanism. Apparently the Kuromonians had never heard of the quill pen. They used slender brushes, which gave Kerin much trouble until, by dogged experimentation, he learned to paint a fine line with one.

Days passed; the heat of summer waxed. Since the air of the city was less humid than those of Kwatna and Koteiki, Kerin minded it less. With his escort he revisited Hukuryu's clock tower to compare his drawing of the escapement with the actual thing. Wearing a Kuromonian clerk's jacket and cap, he roamed the corridors of the great departmental buildings unchallenged.

Once in the building of the Department of Roads, Canals, and Shipping he passed the stout Third Assistant Secretary Aki in the hall. A glower flickered across Aki's bespectacled face and then faded into bland impassivity. Neither spoke.

One evening, when Kerin was trying with little success to master Kuromonian ideographic writing, a messenger boy arrived on skates, saying: "The honorable Kaga presents his compliments to the honorable barbarian Rao and requests the said Rao to meet him at the entrance to the Proscribed Palace at the third hour tomorrow. He is commanded to the Forbidden Interior.''

After the boy had left, Nogiri asked: "Was nought said about me?"

"Nay, darling. I suppose—"

"Forget it! In this land women are of even less account than in mine own. You shall go whilst I wash your hose."

Kerin found a cluster before the entrance to the Proscribed Palace. Kaga and Ushio were there, and Toga arrived just after Kerin. There were other officials as well.

Toga touched Kerin's arm and beckoned. Aside he murmured: "Honorable Kerin, I trust you know the proper procedures in the Forbidden Interior?"

"Hiei has rehearsed me."

"Good! A word of warning. Rumor has it that the Son of Heaven is in an irritable frame of mind, for having had to leave his Summer Palace—a far more splendid residence than this old semiruin, with spacious grounds, bejewelled pavilions, duck ponds, and other amenities—to subject himself to the stifling heat of the Proscribed Palace. He would never have come had not his eunuchs convinced him that the importance of the deal over Ajendra's fan made his presence necessary. When he is in this mood, the least error in ceremony can cost the offender parts he were loath to part with, such as his head."

"I'll do my best," said Kerin with a sinking heart.

The doors groaned open, and a fat man called out in a squeaky voice: "Enter, honorables; the Ruler of the World awaits you."

The soldiers at the entrance bowed as the bureaucrats passed between them. The fat man led the party to an audience hall, where a score of courtiers already stood at attention. At the far end sat Emperor Dzuchen, swathed in voluminous robes of brilliant hues—scarlet, emerald, and gold—on a throne on a dais. The dais was five feet high, as if to make up for the fact that Dzuchen was a small man. He wore the towering, winged crown of state, bedight with peacock plumes and glittering with precious stones. Soldiers stood beside the dais, while eunuchs padded around it.

The fat usher lined up the party in a single rank. He led them forward three paces; at a signal, all dropped to their knees and thrice touched their foreheads to the floor. Watching the others out of the corners of his eyes, Kerin followed their actions.

All rose, advanced another three paces, and repeated the obeisance. They rose, advanced, and genuflected once more. All were careful not to look the Emperor squarely in the face, because of the pretense that one who did so would be blinded by his awful glory.

"Rise!" said the Emperor. "Wizard Oshima, stand forth!"

Oshima and his apprentice Dong stepped out from the shadows at the sides. Oshima held a large, costly-looking fan, which he started to hand up folded to the Emperor. Between the height of the dais, however, and the smallness of Oshima's stature, Dzuchen could not reach the fan unless he got off his throne and stooped. To avoid such a breach of imperial etiquette, Kerin called out:

"Divine Autocrat, suffer this heap of slime to render aid!"

Putting his hands atop the dais, he vaulted up, got a knee over the edge, and scrambled into a kneeling posture. He reached down, took the fan from the wizard, and handed it to Dzuchen.

The courtiers traded startled looks. Kerin held his breath, uncertain whether to expect praise or instant condemnation. The Emperor said:

"And the code book, good subjects!"

Oshima produced the book from one of his baggy sleeves and handed it to Kerin, who gave it to the Emperor and lowered himself to the floor. His heart raced with apprehension. When he had climbed the dais, the act had seemed merely the normal, considerate thing to do; but among these etiquette-mad folk it might yet prove suicidal.

Dzuchen opened the fan, exposing the painted dragon designs. He almost fanned himself but stopped in time. He muttered: "Curse this heat!" Kerin saw drops of sweat escape from under the huge crown and roll down the Emperor's face. Aloud Dzuchen said:

"Our foremost task is to test this thing. Who will volunteer to be fanned away and returned to existence?"

The courtiers exchanged regards again. There was a general shuffling of felt slippers as each tried to hide himself behind his neighbors.

"What, no volunteers?" said Dzuchen, scanning the court.

Oshima spoke: "O Superior One, my worthless apprentice, Goodman Dong, will be delighted to accept the honor!"

The wizard pushed his apprentice forward. The lad rolled his eyes and uttered a faint croak. Kerin judged that the youth was too terrified to protest; he was on the verge of fainting.

"Ah, just the thing!" said Dzuchen. Whipping open the fan, he leaned his body forward and swept the fan past Dong's intimidated face. The youth disappeared with a sound of displaced air.

"Now to fetch him back here. . . ." murmured the Emperor, turning the pages.

"Look under 'apprentice,' Your Imperial Majesty," said Oshima.

Dzuchen found the reference. He folded the fan and tapped his left wrist four times and his forehead once. Instantly Dong reappeared. This time he did faint, slumping into a heap on the floor.

"Guards!" barked the Emperor. "Revive this stripling, give him one golden half-dragon, and send him home for the day. Well done, Doctor Oshima! Now it remains but to meet our part of the bargain with King Lajpat." He fixed his gaze on Kerin. "Art not the youth who brought the specifications for the fan from Mulvan?"

Kerin bowed deeply. "Indeed, Your Imperial Majesty, I am that negligible one."

"You have achieved merit. You shall be rewarded with—"

"O Sovran of the World!" cried a voice. "Your Imperial Majesty has been cozened, deceived, and put upon!"

"Eh? What's this?" said Dzuchen. "Whoever spake, let him stand forth!"

Third Assistant Secretary Aki strode forward, followed by another Kuromonian. The two dropped to their knees and touched their foreheads to the floor. When they did this a second time, Dzuchen snapped:

"Enough formality; get to the point!"