The Honorable Barbarian (15 page)

"I see," said Togaru. "Now tell me what betides! By the divine bureaucrats, in all my years at sea, never have I seen a naked woman leap aboard at midnight. Those ashore wish to deliver you up to justice for having stolen this woman, who they say was the temple's property, and for having wounded one of their men pursuing you."

" 'Twas simple self-defense. I'm sure you can find a crewman who saw the fellow attack me. As for the Princess Nogiri, she is kin to the Sophi and they were about to kill her. Besides, you would not wish to lose two paying passengers, would you?"

Togaru bowed to Nogiri, saying: "Your Highness." He allowed himself the flicker of a smile. "I will speak to the captain. Meanwhile, you may hie yourself to your cabin to dry. Certes, we will not allow that mob on our decks, which are Kuromonian sovran territory."

The pursuers were straggling off when Togaru told a breechclouted deckhand to show the passengers to their cabins. The deckhand bowed to the officer, bowed again to Kerin, and led the passengers to the forward hatch and down the ladder. Kerin, who had recovered his sword, and Nogiri followed the sailor to the cabin deck.

The sailor disappeared into a cabin and emerged with a lighted taper. He entered one of the two larger cabins at the end of the deck, lit a small bronze lamp hanging from above, and bowed Kerin and Nogiri in.

Nogiri looked at the bed. "It seems a little narrow for two, but I can make do on the floor."

"Not at all," said Kerin. "This is your own exclusive cabin. I shall bunk with the Reverend Tsemben in Number Eighteen."

She looked amazed. "Oh, but Master Kerin! That would be entirely against custom! Why should a rankless woman like me have this grand cabin all to myself? Dost find me repulsive or stinking?"

"Good gods, no! But as a princess—"

"Oh, forget the princess!" she said with a flash of irritation. "Since mine uncle sold me, I am no more than a commoner of the lowest class—a mere thing. In Salimor, a woman's rank derives from her family. Since my family has cast me off, I have no rank. And since you have taken me from the temple, whither I would not willingly return, I am your chattel, concubine, slave, or whatever pleases you."

"Well!" said Kerin. "I never meant to—to consider you as aught but a friend. Could I restore your rank by freeing you?"

"Only my family could make me a princess again, and I expect that not. If you cast me off, any ruffian could seize me. That is the way of things."

"Well, let's not tell the Kuromonians. If they think you're a princess, 'twill get us better treatment." He sneezed.

She said: "Master Kerin, off with those sodden garments ere you catch your death of cold!"

Hardened to Salimorese indifference to nudity, Kerin began to strip, saying: "So no more of this 'I am your humble doormat' thing. Second Mate Togaru seems to take your rank at its titular worth."

"I will take care." Having vigorously scrubbed Kerin with the cabin's towel, she gathered up his dripping clothes. "I'll fasten these things up to dry." She went out, leaving Kerin sitting on the stool."Master Kerin!" squeaked Belinka. The little blue light danced in the lantern's beams. "Leaping aboard ships at night is evidently not your greatest skill. Remember what befell on the
Benduan
?"

"You need not remind me," growled Kerin.

"Well, I see you entertain lustful thoughts towards Mistress Nogiri."

"How know you?"

"I am not blind. You think, when she return, you'll ask her to be your concubine in fact. Then you think to test the cordage under yon bed."

"Rubbish! You know I shall sleep in Number Eighteen."

"Oh, doubtless—but after you have enjoyed Mistress Nogiri's embraces here."

"What if I did?" demanded Kerin angrily.

"You shall not! I forbid!"

"By Imbal's iron pizzle! Who are you to tell me whom to futter?"

"Madame Erwina's familiar, that's who; and I am straitly charged to save your virtue for Adeliza!"

"To the frigid hells with Adeliza! I'll do whatever—yeow!" Kerin sprang erect, clapping a hand to his bare buttock. "Curse you, that hurt!"

"And I'll hurt worse if you try to bed your brown barbarian! You'll afford a juicy target!"

"Not if I'm under a blanket!"

"I can sting through a blanket. If you believe me not, wrap yourself in yon quilt!"

Kerin seethed with turmoil. Muttering curses, he wrapped himself in the cabin's blanket. He had worked up the courage to ask, as Belinka put it, Nogiri to be his concubine in fact. To do so, he had to overcome a violent seizure of embarrassment. Belinka's opposition made him all the more determined; on the other hand he feared that the threat of being stung would cause more than his spirits to droop at a critical time. If only he could imprison this meddlesome sprite in a bottle. . . .

Nogiri reentered, saying: "Your clothes now hang on one of those ropes that steadies the mast. But Master Kerin, wherefore have you wrapped yourself in my blanket? I thought you ready for bed. Since that bed be narrow for two, why not drag in the pallet from your other cabin?"

"Well—ah-but . . ."

"Why, wouldst fain not exercise your rights tonight? I am ready."

Kerin squirmed with embarrassment. He eyed Nogiri hungrily; but it would only have added to his shame to admit that he had let Belinka bully him out of his intentions. He did not see the dancing blue light; but Belinka could make herself completely invisible.

At last he said: "Well—ah—there are two reasons, my dear. First, as you say, it is late and I am more than a little tired, after climbing that magical rope, snatching you from the evil priests, skewering the man who tried to halt us, and swimming about that stinking harbor."

"Doubtless you know best," she said. "After witnessing your feats tonight, I had begun to think of you as some hero of legend, immune to fatigue."

Kerin waved a deprecatory hand. "So it might seem; but I should have perished many times had not Elidora cast her mantle about me."

"What? Who is Elidora?"

"Our Novarian goddess of luck. A hero of legend would not have fallen into the harbor; nor would he have forgotten to carry the magical rope away. Klung will rue its loss."

"And the other reason?"

"If we are to bolster the Kuromonians' belief that you are in fact a princess, it follows that you must have the cabin to yourself, as any royal person would."

"True," she said with a thoughtful frown. "Kuromonians, I hear, are even fussier about rank and status than my own folk. At home they spend their time insulting their inferiors and fawning upon their superiors, trying to inch their way up the ladder of rank. They have a curious system whereby men of low birth can rise into the mandarin class of officials by passing written examinations."

"That sounds interesting," said Kerin.

"Belike; but it means that such persons, having a hope of rising, commit any sort of corruption or chicanery to enable them to do so. Amongst us the classes, being fixed, are more resigned to their lot and hence live in greater harmony.''

"I can see advantages and disadvantages either way," said Kerin. "But you see why you must sleep alone. When circumstances permit, I may pay you visits; but your cabin is your sovran territory.''

She shrugged. "Whatever you say, Master Kerin. I am glad 'tis not that you find me ugly. Good-night, then."

"Good-night, my lady—oh, by the way, do the Salimorese practice—I know not your word, but we call it 'kissing'?"

"I know not. What is it?"

"I'll show you," said Kerin, doing so.

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "What means that? Is it an expression of affection?''

"Exactly! What do your people do?"

"We rub the nose against the other's cheek."

"Show me!"

Nogiri did. Kerin's blood pounded as they stood with arms about each other's shoulders, alternately kissing and noserubbing, until Nogiri uttered a shrill yelp.

"Ow! Something stung my back!"

Kerin sighed. "It's Belinka again, furiously jealous. Anon I'll explain what befell back home, which led to my getting her as my keeper. So good-night again; I'll return your blanket shortly.''

"Good-night, Master Kerin. I see how Mistress Belinka will complicate our relationship."

"I fear so. And speaking of your back, we shall soon sail northward into cooler climes, where you'll want some sort of coat. I'll shop amongst the merchants for one. Till tomorrow!"

It seemed to Kerin that he had hardly fallen asleep when Belinka was buzzing in his ear and Nogiri was shaking his shoulder, crying: "Wake up, Master Kerin! Pwana's men are back!"

Sitting up and rubbing his eyes, Kerin took a while to remember where he was, who Pwana was, and what their dispute was about. By the time he had pulled on his clothes and armed himself, he was fully awake. The Reverend Tsemben slumbered through the disturbance.

On the cabin deck outside, groups of Kuromonian merchants huddled, chattering in the early morning light. As Kerin and Nogiri passed them, they stared and broke into more excited speech.

Kerin stumbled up the ladder to the weather deck. He found a sky of gray overcast and a deck thronged with the
Tukara Mora
's
marines. Ashore, he sighted not only Pwana and some of his priests and temple guards, but also a squad of archers in the Sophi's household livery of scarlet turbans and jackets and gold-embroidered skirts. Looking further, Kerin also sighted Klung and Wejo on the edge of the crowd ashore. The gangplank was still withdrawn aboard the ship.

The wizard Pwana was arguing with a man whom Kerin took to be the vessel's captain. Although no taller than Kerin, the man had an indefinable air of authority, from his curious black lacquered hat with a chin strap and a button of some semiprecious stone on top, to the hem of his silken robe bedight with writhing dragons in golden thread. Pwana shouted in a high, cracked voice:

"But the Sophi himself hath authorized me to take that pair; the woman is the temple's property, and the foreigner stole her! And if my guardsman die, I will prosecute a charge of murder!"

"Sophi or no Sophi," said the captain, "I cannot allow you to tread the sacred soil of the Empire for any such purpose—ah," he said, turning to Kerin. He switched to Novarian: "There you are, Master Kerin! As you see, bringing your princess aboard has stirred up trouble. What reason canst give me for not putting you and the female ashore, to cope with Doctor Pwana on your own?"

Kerin groped for arguments. "For one, I've paid the passage for us."

"Your fare could be refunded—minus, naturally, a charge for bookkeeping costs. Well then?"

As Kerin racked his brain, Klung called out from the quay: "If I may come aboard, Captain Yambang, this humble worm can explain."

"You may—" began Captain Yambang, but Pwana shouted: "Nay, glorious captain! If you let this mass of offal aboard, this insignificant one demands to come, too!"

"Oh, let the twain of you come," said Yambang. "But each alone, and none of your magical tricks! Our sorcerer has cast a counterspell upon the ship."

Sailors hoisted the gangplank off the deck and swung it over the gap between the ship and the shore. As the plank thumped into place, both Klung and Pwana started for it. Since its shoreward end had come to rest near Klung, the stout balimpawang reached it first. By a hasty scuttle, Pwana caught up with his rival, crying:

"Out of my way, charlatan!"

The plank was just wide enough for two men to walk abreast, if they moved with care. As Pwana tried to shoulder Klung aside, the latter roared:

"Out of
my
way, turd!"

Klung pushed back. For an instant the two jostled shoulder to shoulder on the plank. Since Klung was the younger and heavier, he sent Pwana staggering over the edge. With a shriek, the old wizard cartwheeled down into the slimy water below.

Captain Yambang shouted, and a pair of breechclouted sailors rushed to the rail with a rope. When the end of the rope reached him, Pwana seized it; but when the sailors heaved on the rope, the old wizard's grasp failed, dropping him back into the water.

Captain Yambang paused in giving orders to say to Kerin: "As barbarians go, you Novarians show better manners than these jungle savages. I saw your land on a voyage years ago."

The sailors brought up another rope, with a loop at the end. When the loop reached him, Pwana worked his scrawny body into it so that it encircled him below the armpits. This time the retrieval succeeded.

Reaching the deck, Pwana said to the captain: "Why didst not afford me protection from that mountebank?" He indicated Klung, who stood grinning. "I am after all the high priest of a god! As such, I merit deference."

The captain snorted. "You? To me you are nought but a horde of chattering monkeys, whom someone has caught and shaved and taught to play tricks."

Pwana glanced at one of the marines, who was moving his fauchard in a significant way and staring at Pwana's neck. He grunted and turned to the rail, wringing water from the hem of his sarong.

"Come!" said the captain sharply. "We cannot waste more time, for we load today. You two wizards and the couple over whom you dispute, follow me!"

The captain's cabin was a two-room suite, done up in a style like that of Nogiri's cabin but more ornate. Golden dragons writhed along the walls; across the overhead flitled conventional bats and cranes. The cabin boasted substantial chairs and a massive table of black-hued wood.

Captain Yambang sat at the head of this table in a thronelike chair. He motioned the rival wizards to chairs on either side of him and Kerin and Nogiri to seats at the farther end. Kerin was glad again to sit in a genuine chair instead of cross-legged on the floor.

"Now, gentlemen," said the captain, "state your cases. You first, Doctor Pwana."

"It is simple theft, my lord," said Pwana. "This wench was the lawful property of the Temple of Bautong, having been given to the temple by her uncle, Lord Vunnmbai, acting
in loco parentis
since her natural parents are dead. We could present a formal request for the extradition of Master Kerin as a common thief and possible murderer; but we shall be satisfied with the return of the woman Nogiri to representatives of the temple. There is no reason for you, representing His Imperial Majesty, to detain a piece of plainly stolen property—"