The Honorable Barbarian (19 page)

On the night before reaching Chingun, the caravan stopped at a village where dwelt a cousin, Hizen, of civil servant Toga. After Toga had settled the party in the local inn, he took Kerin and Nogiri to his cousin's house for dinner. Nogiri was sent to eat separately with Hizen's women.

Although Kerin was circumspect in his behavior and cautious in his drinking, Toga and Hizen got slightly drunk and sang ribald songs. Anon, Toga lurched to his feet and plucked Kerin's sleeve, saying:

"Come, honorable Rao. It is time to visit the garden."

"Garden?" said Kerin, puzzled. "At night, when the moon is hidden by clouds?"

Toga giggled. "Of course, how stupid of this inferior one! Know that in the Heavenly Empire, it is polite, when one has dined at another's house, to leave nightsoil in his garden afterwards." He wagged a finger. "Waste not, want not!"

As they neared Chingun, Toga persuaded Kerin to change places with him again, "as a matter of face." Toga, now astride the ass, led the way to one of the colossal gates in the buff-colored outer wall. He produced a sheaf of papers from his scrip, which the officer of the guard went over one by one before returning them and waving the caravan through.

In Koteiki and in the towns they had passed through, Kerin had seen the features of Kuromonian architecture: the lavish use of vermillion, black, and gold; the hip rafters curving up at the end like the toe of a Mulvanian slipper; the rows of little gilded figurines of guardian monsters along the hip rafters.

In Chingun he saw the same features but on a larger scale. Like Janareth and Kwatna, the city had some broad, straight avenues and, between these, tangles of narrow, crooked streets. But the scale of Chingun was so vast that Janareth and Kwatna, if moved to Chingun, would have been merely two more wards of the metropolis.

Kerin bounced in his chair along one avenue, and another, and another. The streets swarmed with Kuromonians, mostly in the universal working-class blue jackets and trousers worn by both sexes. The middle class wore ankle-length robes. Men's hair was worn long and tied in topknots. The streets were noisy with the bells, gongs, horns, drums, whistles, and other noisemakers used by itinerant tradesmen such as barbers, knife grinders, and sellers of snacks.

The local feature that most startled Kerin was one he had not seen elsewhere. On the well-paved streets of the capital, many did not merely walk but glided along on roller skates. Each skater wore a pair of high-topped, metal-framed shoes to which were journaled two wheels, forward and aft. Kerin inferred that, since paved streets were rare in smaller towns and villages, the device would not be useful there.

The caravan entered a public square in which a string of two dozen camels awaited loading for the journey northward into the steppes. Some had not yet shed all their winter fur, so that they presented a patchy appearance.

Beyond the camels, a small crowd was gathered. Amid this crowd a group of men stripped to the waist knelt with their hands tied behind them. An executioner was going down the line with a short, broad-bladed, two-handed sword. Two bodies already lay prone on the pavement with their heads detached and crimson blood pouring out. As the caravan passed, the executioner swung, and
chug!
off went another head. The head bounced and rolled while the spouting body fell
plop
on its chest.

"Who are those?" Kerin asked.

Toga shrugged. "Miscreants of some sort. Chingun swarms with cutpurses and other criminals. In my native village there was none of that sort of thing."

They passed the spectators and came to a two-story tower. On the roof, reached by an outside stair, stood a cluster of astronomical instruments, protected by a canopy. Below, the tower had a series of openings, stacked vertically, in which appeared a series of figurines about half life-size, carrying squares of board on which symbols were painted. The tower emitted clattering and splashing noises. As they passed, a gong sounded. One of the figures moved out of sight, while another appeared in the opening. Kerin called:

"What is that?"

"The great astronomical clock, built by the ingenious Hukuryu. It tells not only the time but also the date, the phases of the moon, and the motions of the stars and planets."

This, Kerin thought, I must see at more leisure. The caravan plodded on until the party reached a walled section in the center of the city. At the gate into this interior wall, the whole tedious business of checking papers was again undergone.

At last Kerin and Nogiri were borne into the enclosure, which Toga explained was called the Prohibited Precinct. Within each side of the wall stood a row of large one-story buildings. Within the square formed by these structures, a vast plaza spread, bedight with bronzen dragons, armillary spheres, monumental stone stelae, and other ornaments.

Kuromonians bearing scrolls and sheaves of papers bustled about this plaza, some afoot and some whizzing by on skates. They streamed in and out of the buildings like ants in their nests. At the center of the plaza rose an even larger building, covering several acres. Its gilded roof flashed blindingly in the sun.

"That," said Toga, "is the Proscribed Palace, where dwells the Son of Heaven."

"Are we going thither?" asked Kerin.

Toga gave a mirthless little laugh. "Any wight who sought to enter the Forbidden Interior uninvited would find himself shy of a head before he could blink."

"Then whither go we?"

"You shall see. We must pass you through official channels. First I must report to my superior, the honorable Third Assistant Secretary Aki of the Foreign Barbarian Section."

Toga led the way to one of the large buildings of the outer square. He dismounted, helped Kerin and Nogiri out of their chairs, and led them inside. The corridors swarmed with Kuromonians in clean but sober dress, afoot and on skates. Sometimes Toga had to push through the throng, crying: "Borrow light! Borrow light!"

When the crowd thinned, Kerin asked: "Honorable Toga, who are all these people?"

"Clerks and officials."

"Why on earth are so many needed?"

"Because the Heavenly Empire rules millions of subjects, and a government cannot control so many and promote their welfare without this apparatus."

"I should think so many would get in one another's way and duplicate one another's work. Or else they would spend more time in intrigue and peculation than at their proper tasks."

"True, Master Rao. One of our problems is that, as the size of an organization grows, it become harder and ever harder for even the ablest and most upright administrator to keep an eye on every official, clerk, and other underling so that he perform his duties with diligence and honesty. We must therefore hire people to watch them, and this increases the total number and aggravates the problem of keeping an eye on all. So we must hire still others to watch the watchmen, and so on."

"Well," said Kerin, "methought our little Kortolian monarchy and its Chamber of Burgesses an ineffectual, ramshackle sort of government, but on the whole I prefer it to this."

"Ah, but if your kingdom had a population like unto ours, you would encounter all our difficulties."

"Then is the Empire simply too large to be well-run?"

"In a sense, perhaps. But when Kuromon was divided into a host of contending kingdoms, ever warring and ravaging one another's lands, things were even worse."

Toga gave his name to a guard at a door. The guard disappeared, and Toga and his charges stood so long in the corridor that Kerin asked: "What's the matter now?"

Toga chuckled. "It is usual for an official to keep a subordinate waiting to see him. Thus he gains face and proves his status."

Eventually the guard returned and ushered the trio in. They found a stout man seated at a desk, and flanking that desk two smaller desks at which sat clerks with writing brushes. The stout man wore a device new to Kerin: a pair of reading glasses in a frame that fitted over the bridge of his nose and were secured in place by a pair of ribbons tied at the back of his head. He rose, and he and Toga exchanged so many bows that Kerin fancied he could hear their spines creak.

"Ineffable superior," said Toga, "permit this lowly one to present the honorable barbarian, Master Rao of Mulvan. Master Rao, you stand before the honorable Third Assistant Secretary Aki."

Kerin bowed as he had seen the Kuromonians do. Aki stared at Kerin as if he smelled something offensive and gave a slight nod.

"Has he the document from King Lajpat?" asked Aki.

"Show it to him, Master Rao," said Toga. Both Kuromonians ignored Nogiri, who stood at Kerin's side.

Aki clapped his hands, and a young Kuromonian woman appeared with a tray supporting a teapot and two small cups without handles.

"Seat yourself, honorable Toga," said Aki. "Pray partake." He and Toga began a rambling conversation, devoted to gossip about promotions, bureaucratic intrigues, and competitive examinations, leaving Kerin and Nogiri standing and ignored. Kerin grew angrier and angrier, but as a single foreigner in the midst of thousands of locals he dared not give vent to his feelings.

Toga finished his tea and rose. He and Aki exchanged more bows, and he led his charges out. Glancing at Kerin's angry face, with its thin lips and narrowed eyes, he said soothingly:

"This person must apologize for the honorable Aki's manners. His faction would cut off all contact with barbarians. He hates them all, having lost kinsmen to pirates from the Gwoling Islands and nomadic raiders from the steppes. Now we shall visit his superior."

They entered a larger office. Kerin was presented to Second Assistant Secretary Ushio, who said: "From Mulvan, eh? I should have expected a man of darker hue."

Kerin gulped, fearing that his imposture was on the verge of exposure. "It—it depends on what part of that land one comes from."

"Toga!" snapped Ushio. "Where hast been? You were expected a fortnight past."

"Exalted superior, this vile creature brought the honorable barbarians as quickly as the chairmen could walk."

"Walk? I sent down orders for you to be furnished with a horse for you and a cart and driver for Master Rao."

"Your order never reached me, sublime sir. Methinks Secretary Aki may have detained it. You know his sentiments anent barbarians."

"Huh! Belike he did; but if we accuse him, he will put the blame on his clerks. Oh, well, the main thing is that you are here."

More tea was brought, and Ushio ordered his clerks to furnish Kerin and Nogiri with seats and teacups. Toga plunged into a discussion of the proper channels for bringing Kerin before Imperial Wizard Oshima. Ushio said:

"I could not authorize a direct approach. Belike my superior, the honorable Kaga, could if the Secretary have authorized him to conduct interdepartmental contacts. Let me see. . . ."

Ushio got out a chart, unrolled it, and placed it on his desk with small objects at the corners to keep it from rolling up again. Kerin saw a spiderweb of lines connecting characters in Kuromonian writing.

"Now," said Ushio, "we can go up this way, and across thus, and down thus. . . . Or else we could go to the bureau head, the honorable Sendai."

"If all else fail," said Toga, "this person could apply to the Lord High Mandarin of Roads and Shipping. . . ."

"Methinks we need not go to that extreme," said Ushio. "Being unwell, the exalted Aoba had delegated many duties to assistants. If the honorable Kaga can get you transferred, well and good; if not, you must needs go through Sendai. Convey my respectful regards."

Leaving Ushio's office, Kerin asked: "If I am supposed to report to the Imperial Wizard, why can't we go straight thither? Why all this roundabout skirmishing?"

"This person would not expect you as a barbarian to understand," said Toga. "To keep confusion to a minimum and prevent the different branches of the government from acting at cross-purposes, we need rules of who may do business with whom. It is called 'going through channels.' It is a nuisance, but not half the nuisance we should have if everybody rushed about from department to department without their superiors' knowledge. Of course, old hands like this person know how to take shortcuts without causing trouble.

"The wizard Oshima works in the Magical Bureau of the Department of Health and Welfare. To get from one department to another . . ." Toga launched into the complex rules of the civil service. By the time he finished, they had arrived at the office of First Assistant Secretary Kaga.

"The honorable Sendai is on vacation," said Kaga, "and has deputized me to act in his place. I shall write you a pass to the Health and Welfare Building. There you shall report to Secretary Huso. If he be unable to receive you in person, he will authorize your conveyance down the channels to the proper office in the Magical Bureau. Have a cup of tea; you, too, my dear barbarians. . . ."

A dozen cups of tea later, Second Assistant Secretary Hiei of the Thaumaturgical Laboratory of the Magical Bureau of the Department of Health and Welfare led Kerin, Nogiri, and Toga down a hall, saying: "This person had better take you himself, since our Imperial Wizard is not the most affable man in the Empire."

They entered a large room cluttered with apparatus. Fiddling with the equipment was a small, wrinkled man with a straggly white beard. The man ignored his visitors while he made an adjustment, then said:

"Well, Master Hiei, what folly hast come to demand of me now? A magical rug that shall fly to the moon?"

"My good wizard," said Hiei, "the barbarian is Master Rao, with a message from the King of Kings of Mulvan. If you will momentarily bridle your churlishness, he has something for you."

"Oh, I remember. It is that deal betwixt the Son of Heaven and that so-called King of Kings, eh? Lajpat has surely taken his time with his part of the bargain. Well, where is it?"

Kerin handed over the little oiled-silk package. "You are Wizard Oshima, I take it?"

The little man snorted. "Certes! If Master Hiei had not forgotten his manners, he would have presented you properly. And this I suppose is your fancy woman?"