I walked him to the door. “Do you mind if I spend some time with him tomorrow?” he asked.
“Of course not,” I quickly answered. I was only working a half day tomorrow. He told me that he could come over in the afternoon.
“He’s a great kid, thank you.”
“For what?” I asked.
“For helping to make that so easy,” he said sincerely.
“I didn’t do anything; you were a big hit all on your own.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said as he walked out the door. His tone was gentler now. His anger seemed to be dissipating a bit. Being with Matty seemed to instantly melt the iciness away.
I stood in the doorway as he walked to his car and drove out of sight. The only sound I could hear were the crickets singing their familiar yearly tune. It was an unusually cool September night, the kind that made you long for the cool crisp days of autumn. As I watched the leaves on the big oak tree on my front lawn blow in the light breeze, I felt a sense of calmness overcome me. For just a brief moment it was as if none of my problems existed. I took in one last breath of the night air before closing the door behind me.
Chapter 28
I picked Matty up from Charles and Claire’s when I finished with work. I was beginning to see just how hard it was to try to juggle working and childcare. For the past two years Matty had been in preschool, which helped to alleviate some of the babysitting obstacles I was now beginning to face. I knew that I had plenty of people who were willing to help out, but I didn’t want to take advantage either.
Matty, his face smeared with chocolate, was in the kitchen making chocolate chip cookies with Claire when I arrived.
“Something smells good,” I said.
“Hi, Mommy!” he said with a huge smile. “Look what we made.”
Claire put some cookies on a plate and poured two glasses of milk, bringing them outside on the patio where Charles was. I watched out the window as Matty followed close behind, pulling up a chair next to Charles, wasting no time in sampling his cookies.
“Yes, he did eat lunch first,” Claire said as she came back into the house, as if she knew exactly what I was thinking. She began to clean up their baking mess. I couldn’t resist taking a cookie off the cooling rack.
“So it sounds like Julian and Matty hit it off well,” she said, smiling. “Matty hasn’t stopped talking about him all day.”
“Yes, things went really smoothly yesterday with the two of them,” I said.
“I’m glad.” She sat down and took a cookie.
I changed the subject, asking if she was ready for the big anniversary trip that she and Charles were taking to New York City this weekend. She told me that they were all packed and ready to leave this afternoon, which meant I would be having a four-legged house guest for the weekend. I waited for Matty to finish his cookies, stopping him as he came in for seconds. We said our goodbyes to Charles and Claire, took Gracie along with us, and headed home.
I arrived home and straightened up a bit while Matty was in his bedroom playing. I heard a knock on the door and wasn’t surprised when I opened it up and saw Julian.
“Hi,” I said, letting him in.
Matty came running down the hall, beaming as he saw Julian standing in the doorway. “You came back!” he exclaimed.
“I told you I was going to,” Julian said, laughing at his reaction.
It was a beautiful day, so Matty and Julian headed into the backyard. I decided to use this valuable time to answer emails and return phone calls. I logged on to my email account ready to tackle the twenty-plus messages that I had gotten since I had left my office only two hours ago. I noticed an email from Patrick McGinn, the doctor from James’ practice with whom I had spoken.
Dear Kat,
Sorry I haven’t called, I had been in Ireland visiting my family for the past two weeks. I just heard about Matty and I wanted to let you know if there is anything that I can do, please do not hesitate to let me know. I will try and give you a call soon so we can catch up. Until then, please take care.
Patrick
I smiled at his email, knowing James must have told him what was going on with Matty. How I wished that I could see him as more than just a friend - but I couldn’t. There was just something missing. Maybe once this was all over with Matty, we could go out on an official date and I would perhaps view him differently. I quickly replied.
Thank you, Patrick, I really appreciate your kinds words, it means a lot, look forward to catching up soon.
~ Kat
I hit the send button and worked my way through the rest of my emails. I was just returning the last of my phone calls, trying to convince a new mom that it was perfectly normal for her baby to run a low-grade fever while teething, when Julian and Matty came inside. I looked up at the clock and was amazed to see that it was already 5:00. I finally hung up and noticed Matty whispering into Julian’s ear, this time low enough so I couldn’t hear.
Julian laughed. “How about if I take you and your mom out to dinner first and then you get ice cream?”
“P-l-e-a-s-e, Mommy,” Matty begged.
“Okay,” I said, laughing at how pathetic he looked. Gracie came running over to Matty upon seeing his excitement. She jumped on him and began covering him in kisses. Matty giggled as she licked his face.
I couldn’t help but laugh myself as I listened to Matty’s deep belly laughs from Gracie’s kisses. Julian, however, didn’t look amused.
“I hope you’re going to wash his face after that,” he said in disgust.
“Will you relax - of course I’m going to wash his face.”
“You do realize that once he starts the treatments his immune system is going to be compromised?” he said in a very condescending tone.
“Really, Doctor Kiron? I didn’t know that – but leave it to a worldly doctor such as yourself to remind a lowly pediatrician like me of that fact,” I said sarcastically.
He rolled his eyes at me. “It’s not a joke; you really have to start getting in the habit of doing things differently to prepare him for the treatments. He shouldn’t be eating all this garbage,” he said as he picked up a bag of cookies from the counter. “And you certainly shouldn’t allow a dog to lick his face.”
“Well, he hasn’t started the treatments yet and until he does, he will continue to live his life the same way he always has, like a normal happy little boy. If he wants a cookie, he can have a cookie and if he gets happiness over a dog kissing his face then I’m not going to stop it.” I could feel my voice growing louder.
Matty looked at Julian and me as if sensing the tension. “Come on, Matty, let’s go wash your face; we wouldn’t want you getting any germs,” I said sarcastically looking at Julian while I took Matty’s hand and led him into the bathroom.
Matty chose our usual restaurant, my dad’s favorite diner. He crawled up into the booth making sure that Julian sat next to him. My dad’s favorite waitress came over to take our order.
“Hey handsome,” she said to Matty as he smiled widely.
“This is my daddy,” Matty said proudly, leaning his head on Julian’s arm.
“Well there’s certainly no denying that,” she said, no doubt seeing the resemblance between the two of them.
Matty chattered non-stop through dinner. I was grateful for that; I was still annoyed at Julian for making me feel incompetent and didn’t feel like engaging in conversation with him. I was surprised to see that Matty had eaten everything on his plate. He was ready to work on his hot fudge sundae. I smiled inside when I saw Julian looking at Matty’s bizarre ritual of eating it. I wasn’t the only crazy one who had gotten enjoyment out of watching him eat ice cream.
I excused myself to use the ladies room and returned to my cell phone vibrating away on the table. I looked down quickly at the caller ID to see that it was Patrick. I quickly hit the ignore button, sending his call to voicemail. Matty, who was only able to read a few words, was easily able to recognize the name “Patrick,” thanks in part to being a Sponge-Bob junkie.
“Mommy, aren’t you going to answer? It’s Patrick.”
“No, not right now.” My eyes met Julian’s gaze and I was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable.
“Who’s Patrick?” Julian asked.
“Dr. McGinn; he’s friends with Mommy. He’s really nice but he talks funny,” Matty giggled referring to Patrick’s Irish accent. Julian looked at me, making me feel like I had something to be ashamed of.
We arrived back at my house and Julian stayed outside to return some phone calls. His phone had been beeping with messages the whole time we were at dinner, but he never once looked to see who it was. I was impressed with how devoted to Matty he was when he was with him. I got Matty into his pajamas as he patiently waited for Julian.
Julian finished his calls and came back in. Matty and I were playing with his dragons. He was the knight and I was the princess.
“I saved the beautiful princess,” he said proudly, giving me a kiss. “Don’t you think my mommy is a beautiful princess?” he asked Julian, making me feel a little uncomfortable.
Julian stood silently, just staring at me. The ringing of my cell phone broke up the awkward silence. I ran to answer it, seeing from the caller ID that it was Tricia.
“Hey, where have you been all day?” I answered.
“I’m in Maryland—my dad had to go in for emergency surgery,” she said.
“Oh no, is everything okay?” I asked.
She explained that he had to have his gall bladder removed and that she wanted to stay with him to make sure that he was okay. She was supposed to be on call tomorrow and asked if I could cover for her. I immediately said yes.
“Darn,” I said as I threw my phone back in my purse.
“What’s the matter?” Julian asked.
“I just told Tricia I would cover for her at the hospital tomorrow, totally forgetting that Charles and Claire are away.”
Julian looked at me, confused.
“I need someone to watch Matty,” I clarified.
“Well, I’m here,” he said as if it were a no-brainer.
“Oh, I hadn’t even thought of that.” I was just so used to doing this on my own it didn’t even dawn on me that Julian would be around tomorrow to help out. “Are you sure?” I asked hesitantly.
“Yes,” he said, raising his eyebrows.
Matty quickly fell asleep. Julian was getting ready to leave and agreed to be at my house by seven. As I walked him to the door, he stopped for a brief second.
“So do you introduce Matty to all of your boyfriends?” he asked, catching me a little off-guard.
“What? Patrick isn’t my boyfriend - he’s a friend,” I clarified.
He rolled his eyes in disbelief. “Look Kat, I really don’t care who you date, but do you think it’s a good idea to get Matty involved?”
I felt my anger growing. How dare he judge my parenting and to whom I choose to introduce my son? “Julian I’m not dating him; he’s just a friend,” I said, not knowing why I felt the urgent need to justify this to him. “I think I know what’s appropriate and inappropriate where Matty’s concerned. I don’t need you to lecture me like you’re my father.”
“Whatever - if you think that’s appropriate,” he answered smugly as if he didn’t want to hear what I had to say any longer.
I, however, wasn’t ready to let it go. “So, it’s perfectly fine for you to be sleeping with every woman in Chicago. But because I’m friends with a male who I happened to introduce to Matty, I’m wrong?”
“I didn’t say that; it’s just Matty shouldn’t be getting attached to someone who may not be in his life permanently.”
“Well than I guess the same could be said for you,” I said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked.
“How do I know you will be in his life permanently? Remember, you don’t want children.” I knew that I had probably crossed the line with that statement.
“You are unbelievable!” His tone grew louder. I could tell that I had struck a nerve. “Why do you have to get so damn defensive whenever someone tries to offer you any advice?”
“Okay then, thank you for that insightful advice but I have been raising him on my own for the past five years and I think I’ve done a pretty good job so far – is that better?”
“Oh please, Kat, don’t play the martyr. You chose to raise him on your own – remember? I wasn’t ever given that option.”
“Look Julian, don’t tell me who –”
He cut me off as he walked out the door. “I’m done with this conversation. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said calmly.
I was infuriated and wasn’t done with the conversation by any means but I had no choice as I watched him drive away.
One patient ended up turning into four more emergencies. I found myself not leaving the hospital until late in the afternoon. With all of the excitement of the day, I found that my anger over Julian and our disagreement last night had dissipated. When I walked out I realized the beautiful sunshine from the morning had turned into a torrential downpour. It felt like the temperature had dropped twenty degrees as well. I threw my jacket over my head and quickly ran to my car. I took my time driving home in the pouring rain. I finally made it in the front door, dying to change out of my wet clothes. I didn’t get my usual Matty greeting at the door, just Gracie coming up to sniff me. I heard one of Matty’s Disney movies blasting on the TV as I walked back in the living room to find both him and Julian sound asleep on the couch. Julian was sitting up while Matty was wrapped up in his arms. I smiled at how alike the two them were, even when they slept. From that moment on, I knew that Julian had fallen in love with Matty as quickly as I had. I also knew that Matty had seen the same the qualities in Julian that made me fall in love with him, so long ago. I reached for the blanket, covering them both up, unable to take my eyes off the two of them.
Chapter 29
Julian was back in Chicago and I was back to work, trying to act as if my life were normal like the days before Matty had gotten sick. The only silver lining, if there was such a thing, was the day I had gotten the phone call from Julian telling me that he was a match for Matty. I was overjoyed at first, then slowly became painfully aware of what lay ahead for Matty. He had gone for all of the additional testing that was required and was now himself becoming aware that something was happening, as much as I tried to downplay it.