Authors: Charlene Zapata
Tags: #Mental Health, #love, #abuse, #Life Choices, #New adult, #friendship, #Tragedy
"Wait. Please. I was just kidding. If friendship is all you have to offer I'll take it. I just want to get to know the girl who stole something right in front of my face without even batting her pretty little eyes."
He wants to get to know me. I stand there with my back toward him thinking about what my next move should be. I turn around and look him right in his deep brown eyes. I lose all focus for about five seconds as I allow myself to get lost in those eyes. Snap out of it Maggie. "Fine. Give me your phone." I stand in front of this gorgeous guy with my arms folded across my chest like I can't stand him. I really don't want to give him the impression that I like him in that way even if I might just a little. He hands over his cell phone so I can type in my name and number. The only reason I even have a cell phone is because my mother wants to be able to reach me no matter where I am.
"Do you need a ride home? You really don't have to take the bus. I don't mind taking you."
"Oh. Thanks but it's not a bus home. I don't live far from here so I walk. This bus takes me to swim practice over at the YMCA."
"No wonder you're in such great shape. Swimming and running. Very impressive."
"It's just so I don't have to take P.E. I would do just about anything to avoid high school physical education."
"Still impressed. When do you finish? Maybe I can give you a call later?"
"I have to work after practice. I don't get off until 10:00 tonight. I have a pretty busy schedule so you might want to give up now." Please don't give up. It might be nice having someone else to hang out with especially since Amanda will be working at her dad's shop. And let's not forget that she's also boy crazy.
"I could give you a ride to work if you want. Just one friend to another. What time do you get done with practice?"
"That would be great actually. I usually walk from school to the video store. I could use a break. We usually get back to the school close to 5:00. Will that work for you?"
"Sure. Not a problem. I'll be here."
"Thanks. I gotta run. See you after practice." I quickly turn to get on the bus. I can't believe Vincent Moreno is giving me a ride. I can't believe he wants to be friends. I can't believe how incredibly nice he seems. Maybe he just wants to get in my pants. Even as I think the words I know they aren't true. There is just something about him. I feel safe around him. I feel like I can trust him. I really hope I'm not making another colossal mistake.
Practice has never gone faster in my life. I can't seem to stop smiling. I keep finding myself picturing his cocky smile with that strong jaw line. He really is very good looking in a rugged, tough guy kind of way. As the bus pulls up outside the school I see his black Mustang sitting in the parking lot. I jump out of the bus and practically skip over to his car. He gets out immediately to come over and open my door. Seriously?
"Let me stop you right there Slick. Friends don't open car doors for friends. We are not dating so don't treat me like we are. If you can't handle this, it's never going to work." He stops dead in his tracks.
"I was just getting out to stretch. I would never think to open the car door for a friend. I mean that's the most absurd thing I've heard all day."
He says this with the biggest grin on his face. It makes my lips lift up until they are practically touching my eyes. I just can't help it. That was so cute. "I'm sure that's exactly what you were doing. Let's go Slick." I walk over to the passenger side of the car. The smell of leather hits my nose as soon as I open the door. I slide into the seat with ease. At first I worried if being in a car that is the exact car my father died in would freak me out but all I feel is comfort. It's almost familiar in a way. I lay my head back against the seat and close my eyes. I hear Vincent get into the driver's side then start the engine. It brings me to life. I can feel the vibration of the engine climbing up my body until it hits my fingertips. I open my eyes just as Vince is pulling out of the parking lot.
"So you work at the video store?"
"Yep. I'm lucky I got the job. As you know there aren't a lot of opportunities in Milford, especially for a teenager. I've been working there for about two years now." I don't have to tell him where to go because our small town only has one video store. Am I crazy that I'm super disappointed this ride will only take about 10 minutes? I kind of want to talk to him longer. "So where do you work?"
"I actually started my own lawn care service last summer. It's been doing really well, so well that I was able to buy a plow for my truck for winter. Now I don't have to go back to work at the factory. I really hated being confined in a small building inhaling all kinds of toxins. I prefer the wide open outdoors breathing in fresh, clean air. I know it might sound weird but I really love the smell of freshly cut grass."
Wow. I was so not expecting him to be so motivated. "Now I'm the one who's impressed. I think that's really incredible that you have the discipline to start your own business. You must be really smart too. It takes guts and brains to work for yourself."
"I definitely have the guts but not so sure about the brains. I'm a high school drop-out, in case you didn't know."
"I heard some rumors regarding your high school experience but I'm trying really hard not to believe the gossip." I turn and look directly in his eyes with a small smile on my lips. "Don't sell yourself short either, you have to have quite a bit of brains to start your own business."
"Well thanks for the boost of confidence."
Just then I feel the car come to a stop. I can't believe we're here already. It would have taken me at least 30 minutes to walk to work from school. I really don't want to get out of his car. I feel comfortable sitting here next to his warm body. He is looking into my eyes with a smile spreading across his gorgeous face.
"Can I pick you up after work? Or do you already have a ride? Do your parents come to get you?"
"That's an awful lot of questions in the span of 10 seconds." I laugh, shake my head, then turn to open the car door. "I walk everywhere so a ride would be nice. Thank you for giving me one to work. I really do appreciate it."
"So you are off at 10?"
"Yes. But you can't drop me off in front of my house. I don't want my mom seeing me with a guy this late at night. Okay?" I hope that sounded natural. I mean that is a normal thing a parent would get upset about right? An older guy driving their daughter home at 10 at night on a school night? Actually a normal parent would pick their child up so they didn't have to walk home alone. All I'm worried about is my mother hitting on my new "friend" while making crude remarks about sexual positions. Trust me, it's happened before and if I let it, I'm sure it would happen again. That's yet another reason I don't bring people around that awful woman. She has zero boundaries, zero filter. She says whatever pops into her head. I turn one last time to check his reaction to my request. He doesn't seem at all bothered by it so it must sound casual, typical even of a protective parent.
"I understand. Parents just don't get our generation." He lets out a small laugh. "I will see you in a few hours. Have a good night at work."
"Thanks again Vincent." He has to be one of the nicest guys I have met.
Time flies by at work. We are always busy no matter what day of the week. That's what happens when you don't have any other options available in town. Before I know it we are closing the front doors. I start restocking the shelves while my co-worker, a girl named Cindy, runs the vacuum. She is a couple of years older than me. Our manager is in the back office doing paperwork and balancing the registers. After I finish putting all the movies back in order, I grab the broom and start sweeping the front entrance. Cindy starts walking toward me with the mop bucket to finish cleaning the tile.
"Hey. Was that Vincent Moreno dropping you off?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Oh nothing. I've just heard he is trouble. You should probably stay away from him. A good girl like yourself has no business with a guy like him."
Who does this chick think she is? Up to this point I kind of liked Cindy. She is a short, thin girl with long black hair. She has a couple of tattoos and some piercings but overall a nice girl. We tend to work well together. She doesn't mind doing the more labor intensive work so we trade off every other shift to be fair. But right now I could almost punch her in the face.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? A nice girl like me, you don't even know me. From the sound of it you don't know him either." Why in the world am I getting so defensive? I really need to cool it or my work situation is going to get super awkward.
"Look, I wasn't trying to pass judgment. I just think you are a sweet girl. I would hate to see you get mixed up with the wrong kind of guy. That's all. No need to jump down my throat." Cindy looks my way while throwing me a small smile to let me know everything is cool between us.
"Thanks for the concern. But believe it or not I am capable of taking care of myself. I'm actually a pretty good judge of character, that's why I like you so much." I smile back at her trying to ease the tension.
"Okay. You need a ride tonight?" Cindy usually drives me home when we work the same shift. She really is a thoughtful person.
"Actually Vincent is picking me up. We aren't dating or anything. He is just being a nice guy." Why did I feel like I needed to explain our situation? It's nobody's business if we are dating or just friends.
"I see. Well, just be careful."
We finish up with the rest of the cleaning. It's about 15 minutes before 10:00. I take a chance and glance outside. Vincent is waiting in the parking lot. A huge smile spreads across my face. Not only did he show up to pick me up but he got here early.
"Hey, my ride is here and everything is done. You mind if I take off?"
"Go ahead. I will see you tomorrow night."
"Thanks Cindy. See you later." I grab my stuff from behind the counter and head outside. He stays in the car this time so I walk around to the passenger side to get in. As soon as I close my door he is greeting me with a massive smile.
"How was work?"
"It was really good. Busy as usual but that just makes the time go by faster. So what did you do in the last four and a half hours?"
"Just went home and hung out with my roommate. We watched a little baseball. Pretty boring actually. So where do you live?"
"Over on Vassar Street. You can drop me off at the park on the end of the street. So who's your roommate?"
"Tommy Becker. We've been best friends since elementary school. He is the most laid back guy you will ever meet." Vincent seems so relaxed driving his classic car talking to me like we do this all the time. I can't help but wonder if he is like this with other girls? Is he just trying to manipulate me to get me to trust him? I have serious issues, I know. That's what happens when you live with a manipulative person your whole life.
"So what's it like living on your own? I bet it's awesome. I can't wait to graduate high school. I am so ready to be on my own. I can't even imagine what college life is going to be like. Sometimes I lay in bed at night and fantasize about having my own apartment. I wonder what it would be like to be able to breathe. Just breathe." I turn my head toward the window to watch the street lights as we slowly get closer and closer to my personal hell. I take a few deep breaths as I contemplate my life. It is what it is. Vince finally breaks the silence after a few minutes. It wasn't an awkward silence which surprised me. I just felt relaxed. Calm and almost blissful.
"I think I know what you mean. I just moved out this summer. So far it's been great. I like feeling independent. Not having to rely on my mom to take care of me. It makes me feel like a man instead of a teenager." That makes me turn my head in his direction. I want to see the expression on his face after what he just said. I got the impression earlier that he doesn't have a ton of self-confidence. I like the look he is expressing as he says it, I can sense the pride in that statement. We continue to talk for several minutes after we arrive at the park. Since I got off work a little early I'm not concerned about rushing home. I like talking to him. There is no pressure to be anything other than myself with Vincent.
"I really have to get going. I still have homework to get done. Thank you for the ride home."
"Please let me know that you made it to your door safely. I'll send you a text so you have my number. Can I offer you a ride tomorrow?"
"Sure. That would be great. I hope this isn't temporary insanity on your part. I mean being so nice to some strange girl you just met because I could really get used to riding in this beauty every day." Vincent throws his head back laughing so hard I can see all the lines in his beautiful face. The sound of his laughter is intoxicating. "See you tomorrow."
"Bye Maggie. Be careful walking the rest of the way home. Sending you my number now."
I climb out of his car feeling like I could literally float away. It's how he makes me feel. Like all the responsibilities of my life don't matter. I don't seem to feel the pressure pushing down on my shoulders, grinding me into the ground. Somehow being around him lets me forget that I'm pretending to be this other person. I might actually get to be myself for a change. Soon after I get out of the car my phone beeps. I look down at the screen as it lights up with a new number.
Please text me or I will worry all night.Vince.
He seems like a really genuine person. I hope I'm not wrong about him. He just gives me such a tranquil feeling. As soon as I step on my porch I send him a quick text and turn my phone to silent. The last thing I need is my mother hearing someone texting me after 10:00 pm. Rules are rules.
As soon as I walk in the door I immediately wish I was anywhere but here. There are clothes thrown all over the entryway leaving a trail into the living room. The television is blaring in the background. My stomach begins to fill with absolute dread as I scan the house for her. Fear is a very tangible entity in my world. It is palpable, physical, substantial, and very, very real. My head starts pounding as my heart rate picks up speed. My mouth becomes so dry I can't even swallow. I start to lose focus, my vision beginning to blur in and out. My whole body turns to stone so afraid to move even the tiniest muscle. It feels as though my stomach just fell out of my body completely. Before I can comprehend what's happening, I'm lying on the floor on top of a pile of clothes. The wind was knocked out of me with so much force it takes me a minute to realize what my body just experienced. That's when I hear the screaming. I must have tuned it out after being thrown to the floor by a punch so hard my ribs are already throbbing. I can't even make sense of what she is saying because I instantly curl up into a ball while she continues kicking me anywhere and everywhere. Each and every blow to my body is like a dagger to my heart. Burning a hole right through me like the blade is on fire. How can she hurt me like this? I'm her daughter. The emotional turmoil far exceeds the physical pain. After a few deep breaths I start to understand the words coming out of her mouth.