Authors: Charlene Zapata
Tags: #Mental Health, #love, #abuse, #Life Choices, #New adult, #friendship, #Tragedy
"Anytime. So tell me, what is Maggie short for? Actually, I want your entire name. I just realized I don't even know your last name. So give it to me."
I groan so loudly trying to convey just how much I do NOT want to share this information. He is the first person to ask me this in several years. "I don't want to tell you."
"Come on now, if we are going to be friends I need to know your full name. Spill."
"Fine." I say with a huff while rolling my eyes to show my total annoyance. "Magnolia Pearl Wilson. Happy now?"
"Extremely! Magnolia is a beautiful name. It suits you. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl." I look at his face but all I see is complete sincerity. There is no hint of teasing in his response.
And did he just call me beautiful? Oh my gosh! I might just faint right here in his car. I thought he would laugh like every other person has when they hear what my mother named me but instead he loves it. That's it. He just earned a little piece of my heart.
We don't have much time to talk. I have to get home as fast as possible. She wants me home immediately after practice. It really sucks that's its Friday night and I'm going to be stuck watching movies with a woman who despises me. Vincent doesn't seem anymore pleased with the fact that we only had ten minutes together. But such is life.
"Thanks again for picking me up. Sorry it was just for a short ride." I glance over at Vince who seems to be contemplating something.
"You're welcome. Are you free tomorrow? It is Saturday?" He looks at me with such a hopeful expression I can't help but smile.
"I will text you if I have time before work. But I really can't make any promises. It just depends what kind of mood my mother's in. Sorry but my life is kind of complicated." And by complicated I mean I have a mother who beats the crap out of me while having mood swings that will give you whiplash.
"Okay. Well, I can always give you a ride to work. What time do you go in?"
"What did I do to deserve such a great friend? I feel bad because I haven't been able to repay you."
"Magnolia, you don't owe me anything. Your friendship is enough." I can't seem to tear my eyes from his intense look. Am I crazy? Because I absolutely love that he just used my full name. There isn't a single person on this earth that calls me Magnolia. I don't even know why I was given that name.
"Ok Slick. Don't go getting all serious on me. I have to be at work at 3'oclock and I work until close. I can meet you at the park about 2:45. Does that work for you?"
"Sure. I try not to work on the weekends. I usually get all the yards done during the weekdays so I'm available."
"I really do need to go. See you later Vincent."
"Bye Magnolia." And he did it again. A girl could get used to this kind of treatment. Rides everywhere accompanied by sweet compliments.
I can't help but drag my feet on the short walk home. Taking it one step at a time. I really don't want to face my mother. Who knows what kind of mood she will be in tonight. My stomach is slipping lower and lower into the abyss of nothingness. Sometimes I really hate my life.
I finally reach the front door, take a deep breath and walk in.
"Mags! You made it just in time to help me get ready! I have a date tonight!" Thank the sweet Lord in Heaven! Finally a distraction to get her off my case.
"Sure. I would love to help you get ready. What were you thinking of wearing? Is he picking you up here?"
"I don't know what to wear. I can try on a few things and you can tell me what looks good. Yes he is picking me up here. So you need to be in your room until we leave." She never introduces me to her boyfriends until it's absolutely necessary and even then she likes to tell them I'm her roommate. I don't know why she thinks they won't be interested if she has a teenage daughter. It's baffling really. I mean why would you even want to be with someone who doesn't accept your child? The men she dates aren't the brightest so they tend to believe whatever lies she spews. What do they care? As long as they get laid on a regular basis they don't seem to care at all about what comes out of her mouth. Of course once she turns the crazy on they can't seem to get away fast enough!
"Ok. Let's go try on clothes!" I say this with the biggest smile on my face. I could care less about what she wears. I am beyond thrilled that I get my Friday night to myself. Then a thought hits me. Maybe I can hang out with Vince. He did ask if I was busy tonight. I make up my mind to text him as soon as I have a free minute.
I have helped her with her outfit, put her make-up on and given her a pep talk. I swear she's worse than a teenager when it comes to the opposite sex. The odds that she is going to bring this guy home tonight to show him a really good time are pretty high. That's when I decide to be proactive.
"Hey, do you want me to stay over at Amanda's tonight so you can have some privacy?" If I present it in a way that benefits her, she is way more likely to say yes.
"Sure. That's not a bad idea. Considering the things I plan to do to this man tonight!" I give her a forced laugh and shake my head. I just don't understand her. She thinks sex is some mindless act that doesn't have consequences. I know all too well the consequences of sex and therefore have no plans in my immediate future to partake.
After my father died I was so lost. I didn't know who I was or what my place was in this life. Being raised by a mentally unstable parent makes you doubt the person you are meant to be. At first I had my grandparents for support. They seemed to add some stability to my mother which ultimately had a positive impact on my life. When she lost them, my grandma to diabetes and my grandpa to a heart attack just a few months later, she went off the deep end. Her mood swings came at such a rapid pace I just couldn't keep up. That's when I thought if I was more like her maybe life would be easier. I started caring less and less about school and focusing all of my attention on boys. I became reckless with my life, only caring about the present. I wasn't thinking about the future. That's how Patricia (my mother) lives her life so why not try it. After six months and one broken heart later, I quickly learned that my life had more value, more meaning. I snapped out of my delusion. I had to be true to myself which meant my life got exceedingly more difficult. My mother hates responsibility and anyone who shows even an ounce of it is a waste of a human being.
I head to my room to wait out the mind dulling pick-up. My mother never varies in her behavior from one guy to the next. It's always the same boring conversation at the beginning of all her dates. I try to tune out everything around me while remaining as quiet as possible. I put my ear buds in to listen to some music quietly. First I text Amanda to make sure I can stay with her tonight. Her response is almost immediate. She loves it when I can stay over. She lives in a house with 3 older brothers so any girl time is very much appreciated. But she won't be home until after eleven. She has her date with the hot guy from lunch. I text her back that it's not a problem and I will see her later. That's when I hold my breath and text Vince. I hope he is still free tonight.
What's up Slick? Still want to hang-out? My mom has a date so I'm available.
I am laying on my back staring up at my ceiling. I'm about to pass out from lack of oxygen so I take a breath. Then I hear my phone ding.
That sounds great. Want to grab a bite to eat?
Uh oh. That kind of sounds like a date. No dating. I quickly text back.
Dinner is for dates. We are not dating.
Don't friends have meals together? I know Tommy and I do or we would starve to death.
He does have a good point.
Fine. I have a few things to get done but should be ready by 7. Do you mind picking me up at my house? Here's the address: 719 Vassar St.
No problem. See you at 7.
I wait until I hear a car pulling out of the driveway to come out of my room. The house is a disaster. I honestly don't have a clue how one person can cause so much destruction in just one day. I also know that if she comes back with her date with the house looking like this she will be pissed that I didn't take the time to clean-up. So I head to the kitchen first. Ugh. Gross. Just gross. I clean all the dishes, wipe the counters down, sweep the floor and put the food away. I head into the living room throwing away all the wrappers, pick up some dirty clothes then head to her bedroom. Thank goodness this is a small house. After making her bed I have just enough time to grab my overnight bag. The minute I finish getting my stuff ready I hear a knock at the door. He is extremely punctual. It's 7 on the dot. I have everything I need so I head to the door.
"Hey Slick. I'm glad you didn't make other plans tonight. So what's on the agenda?" I say this while trying to move past him to get out the door.
"Hold on. I want to see your room. I mean I did just drive all the way over here. What's the rush? Your mom is gone right?" He brushes past me standing just inside the door. When his body touches mine briefly I feel that jolt of electricity again. What the hell is that?
"Fine. You can take a quick look but then we are leaving. I don't want to be here anymore than I have to. It's the first Friday night in forever that I get to go out." I lead him down the hallway into my bedroom. I expect him to take a quick look at my dull space and be ready to leave. Instead he steps all the way into my room and sits down on my bed. He has some nerve. I mean really. Who does he think he is?
"I didn't say you could sit there."
"And I didn't ask." Smartass. Why does that make me smile? I need serious help. I stand in the doorway with my arms crossed waiting for him. He starts looking all around my room. It's starting to make me uncomfortable. He finally gets up and walks over to the wall next to my desk.
"Is this your father?" He is pointing to one of my favorite pictures. It was right before the accident. My dad had picked me up in his arms and we were both smiling brightly at one another. I think my Grandmother took the picture. You can see their 70's style couch in the background.
"Yes." That's all I can get out. I don't know where he is going with this. It's better to be cautious. I don't talk about my father. With anyone. Not even Amanda.
"You look just like him." Right here, in this moment, that boy just earned another tiny piece of my heart. He doesn't say another word. He just looks over each photo like he is memorizing every little detail. Finally when he has studied every picture in my room he seems ready to go. We walk outside to his car.
"So where to now? Are you hungry?"
"Starving but I only have like 3 bucks so it's gonna have to be a dollar menu type of place."
"Maggie, I can buy you dinner."
"No way Slick. Then it would definitely be a date." He gives a small huff of frustration but starts driving anyway. We end up at McDonald's which is perfectly fine with me. I love their fries. They're my favorite. "Good choice Slick."
"Thanks. But you didn't leave me with much of a choice. Let's go eat some crappy fast food."
"Hey, don't hate on one of my favs." We step inside and I order a double cheeseburger and two orders of value fries. Then I ask for a free water. I hate drinking water with my cheeseburger. It happens to be one of the foods that screams bubbles. That and pizza. But I would rather have twice the fries than a soda. I am so happy I get paid tomorrow. Although I won't get more than my $25. Vincent surprises me by ordering the exact same thing. Once we sit down I dig into my food. I didn't realize just how hungry I was. That's when I see Vincent laughing.
"What's so funny?"
"I have never, and I mean never seen a girl inhale her food like you just did. I haven't even taken two bites and you're almost done."
"What can I say? I love to eat. Food is awesome." That gets another hysterical bout of laughter out of him. I don't get it. I mean I guess I do. Most girls don't eat even a single morsel when they are in front of a guy. I was like that with Sam. Only because I was pretending to be someone I wasn't. Why should I hide the fact that I like to eat from a guy? Should that really make me unattractive? But Vincent doesn't seem to mind. In fact he seems extremely entertained by my behavior.
"So what now?" I say as I stuff my last French fry into my mouth.
"How about dessert? I can't eat an entire Sunday myself so we could share."
"Only if you get two bowls. No way am I sharing food out of the same container. That screams relationship." There is that damn laugh again. I must admit it's becoming addicting. He has such a smooth voice that when he laughs it's like, like one of the best sounds on the planet. After we finish up our ice cream Vince decides to show me his house. I can't wait to see what two bachelor's live like. I already told him that I will be staying with Amanda tonight and will need to be dropped off by eleven.
We pull up to his tiny one story house. It's similar to my house in size but the color is light blue instead of yellow. I see a rough looking truck parked in the back of the driveway. That must be what he uses when he is working. Parked along the curb is a huge red pick-up truck. That must be his roommate's. We head into the house. I'm extremely surprised to see the house so clean. The living room is pretty typical of single guys with a leather couch and big screen television. But what surprises me are the pictures on the wall. I don't know why but I expected it to be pretty bare. It's as if Vincent can read my mind.
"Don't get the wrong idea. My mom helped decorate our house." Well that explains it. Still, I find it very warm. Inviting even. Just then one of the tallest guys I have ever seen walks out of the bathroom rubbing a towel over his pretty blonde hair. Wow. Talk about good looking. Not my type at all but Amanda would swoon all over him.
"Maggie, this is Tommy. My roommate and best friend. Tommy this is Maggie."
"Hi Maggie. It's nice to meet you. I won't get in your way tonight. I actually have a date of my own."
"It's nice to meet you too but this isn't a date. We are just friends." That was awkward. Why do I feel the need to continually remind every breathing person that we are just friends? That's right, because I need to remind myself. Thank goodness Tommy ignores my comment. Next we head toward the kitchen.