Authors: Natalie Ward
Today 8:25pm – Jared
Fuck. Me.
Fuck me. That was
incredible.
Really
fucking incredible.
I’d always thought those
piercings were more for the girl than the guy.
That you only
ever got them to pick up girls, or make things better for her.
But that
turned out to be very fucking wrong. Or maybe it just depends on the woman, I
think, lifting my head so I can see the very one I’m talking about.
Mia is smiling up at me.
Her face is flushed in the most amazingly sexy way. Her body, which is pressed
tightly against mine, is covered with sweat and right now, I cannot imagine
anywhere else I’d rather be.
“Hey you,” she says, her
fingers tightening, digging into my back.
“Hey yourself,” I whisper
back, leaning in to kiss her again, slower this time. I feel the low groan she
lets out and it’s so damn sexy that I am so ready to go, all over again. I have
missed her way too much, and right now, I’m never getting too exhausted to do
this.
My phone ringing breaks
the moment, slinging us back into the present. I ignore it as I keep kissing
Mia, our bodies still joined in all the best ways.
“Jared,” she mumbles
between my kisses. “Your phone.”
“Fuck it,” I say, kissing
her harder.
The ringing stops and is
quickly replaced by the dual noises of more ringing and now incoming text
messages. I try to ignore it, not really caring about who’s trying to get a hold
of me when I have the woman I love naked and lying beneath me. But the ringing
continues and it’s
kinda
killing the moment, so eventually I force myself to stop.
“Fucking hell,” I say,
rolling off Mia as I stand up and stalk over to the drawer. Picking it up, I
miss the latest call and notice five new text messages. Glancing at the time on
the screen, I look up and realise how dark it is outside now.
“Shit, fuck, shit,” I say,
running my hand through my hair. I quickly open the newest text, from Ben.
Where the
fuck are
you?
Knowing I am running
really fucking late right now, I rapidly type in a quick response, which I
don’t even bother to check.
Something
came up, leaving now, be there in 10.
Something came up all
right, and right now, I’ve got to calm it down and haul fucking ass if I want
to have any chance of getting to the club in time. Shit, I am so fucking late.
“We’re late?” Mia says,
already getting up.
“Really fucking late,” I
say, quickly pulling on a fresh pair of boxers because it’s quicker than
finding my other ones. I grab my jeans that are in a pile by the door, discover
my old boxers inside them and chuck them back on the floor, before I yank the
jeans up my legs.
Mia is laughing now and
despite how late I am, I actually stop and look up at her.
“What? What are you
laughing at baby?” I ask confused.
“You,” she says gesturing
to me as she slowly starts to get dressed
herself
.
“What about me?” I ask
,
heading to the closet and grabbing the first shirt I get
my hands on. Black, long-sleeved t-shirt; that will do.
“I knew this would make
you late,” she says laughing as she pulls her panties up her long legs.
I stop getting dressed
long enough to walk over and pull her into my arms. Planting a hard kiss on her
mouth that leaves her gasping for breath, I say, “Totally fucking worth it.”
Mia laughs again, pushing
me away to go to her room to finish getting dressed herself. I love that she’s
automatically doing that and there’s no need for discussion about whether she’s
coming with me or not. She just is.
When we are both done, I
grab my guitar, throw my arm around her shoulders and we walk out into the
empty apartment. I’m guessing Luke and Ash have already left. Considering I was
supposed to be at the club a good twenty-five minutes ago, they probably gave
up waiting for me. All I can say is thank fuck they didn’t come into my room
looking for me. Christ knows we definitely did not need anything like that to
happen. As it is, it’s pretty obvious what we’ve been up to all afternoon
anyway.
When we get to the club,
Ben is on my ass straight away asking where the fuck I’ve been. I reluctantly
let Mia go, knowing I owe it to these guys to do this tonight, no matter how
badly I just want to drag her out of here and take her back home to bed. I feel
better about where we are now, but I know we still have a lot of shit to talk
about, to sort out. I still need to make sure she understands that nothing,
nothing at all, will ever come between us, no matter what.
And she really needs to
talk to her brother about this guilt thing she’s been carrying around. And
their stupid fucking asshole father and the crazy things he thinks he can do to
us.
We practice out back for
an hour or so, tuning our instruments and making sure the set list is sorted. I
should be nervous as hell, but right now I feel like a ball of energy, ready to
explode. As I sling my guitar over my shoulders, ready to walk out there, get
this done and get Mia back home and in my bed, someone grabs my hand. I turn,
look down and see Mia standing beside me. I glance around, not even sure why I
bother to check who’s watching us when I know I’m going to kiss her anyway. But
nobody is, everyone is too wrapped up in their own thing before we head out on
stage, so I put my hand on her waist and push her into the darkened corner
where I can have her all to myself, even if it’s just for a minute.
“You’re not going
anywhere, right?” I ask as she smiles up at me.
“I’m staying right here
Jared,” she says, pushing up on her toes to kiss me. “There’s nowhere else I’d
rather be.”
I hear the groan that
comes from deep inside my chest as I push her against the wall and kiss her
like I haven’t kissed her in years. Even though it’s only been an hour or so,
it feels like longer. And besides, we have a shitload of time to make up for
and
tonight,
I’m making sure we do exactly that.
“Well I can think of somewhere
else I’d rather be, baby,” I say, my fingers sliding into the waistband of her
jeans and pulling her closer.
Mia laughs now, and it’s a
low sexy rumble that runs from her mouth into mine. “
Mmmm
,
me too.”
Tonight, 10:15pm – Mia
Jared’s lips are doing
amazing things to my entire body. He’s kissing only my mouth, but I can feel
the kiss everywhere. My head is spinning, my stomach is doing somersaults, I’m
fairly certain my legs are shaking, but it’s my heart that’s really reacting.
It’s pounding like crazy inside my chest and I can’t tell if it’s excitement,
lust, desire or just… pure love.
He steps even closer now,
so his body completely encloses mine. My back is to the wall, his chest is
pressed against my chest and the combination of his lips on mine, and his
fingers, as he slides them into the waistband of my jeans, is driving me
completely fucking crazy. I wish more than anything else that we were back in
his room right now.
“You’re not going
anywhere, right?” I hear him ask me.
I lean up and kiss him
again, already missing the feel of his lips on mine. “I’m staying right here
Jared,” I tell him. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
His hips push harder
against mine as he mumbles, “Well I can think of somewhere else I’d rather be,
baby.”
I hear my laugh, smothered
by his kisses.
Me too
, I think to
myself,
me too
.
My hands grip the front of
his t-shirt and I make myself gently push him away. “Come on, go do this,” I
tell him, knowing it’s what he needs to do, what he should do and that I’ll be
here waiting at the end of it. “Go show them what you guys are made of now.”
Jared grins down at me
before kissing me again and pulling away. I watch as he walks over to where the
others all stand. I can’t actually believe they haven’t busted us; that no one
has noticed the kiss we just shared. But looking around, all I can see is Luke
and Ash, completely wrapped up in each other. Ben, busy making Sarah laugh and
as always Pete and Steve doing their own thing. That’s why no one noticed Jared
and me, and even though I am completely on board this time, I kind of like the
idea that it’s just the two of us at the moment. I want time to savour just
being
us
again.
As the guys all walk out
on stage to loud applause, Ash comes over and slips her arm through mine and we
walk to the side to watch them, Sarah and Pete joining us.
“You alright?” I ask,
pulling her closer.
She keeps her gaze on my
brother, unable to take her eyes off him. “Yep, perfect,” she answers, still
looking at him and smiling like she’s hiding the biggest secret in the world.
I pinch her side. “So, you
finally told him then?” I ask as Ash eventually turns to look at me.
I watch as her smile gets
bigger and her arm squeezes mine. “Yeah, I did,” is all she says before she
turns back to watch him.
I smile, glad these two
have found each other, that they’ve finally worked out that they are both nuts
about each other. But more than anything, I’m just really glad they’ve both
finally found the happiness they so deserve. I feel a strange sense of relief,
knowing Luke has Ash to look after him now. It’s almost like a physical weight
has been lifted off my shoulders, leaving me wondering if this is what I was
always waiting for.
Moving, I can see Jared on
the far side of the stage, his head bent over his guitar as he furiously plays
it in time to Ben’s drums. He looks so unbelievably sexy, especially as he
steps up to the microphone and sings along with Luke. I watch his mouth as he
practically kisses the
microphone,
he’s that close, and
my eyes close as I picture that mouth on me. A shiver runs down my spine and my
eyes snap open, just wanting to watch him all night long.
Ash and I stand there in a
trance, Pete and Sarah right beside us. Every now and then Jared flicks his
eyes in my direction and smiles and it literally makes me melt. I have no idea
if the others notice and I don’t care. Because, between the look, the sexy grin
and the way he moves around stage, I just want to grab him and drag him back
home and into bed. I feel strangely anxious, on edge, like we have so much time
to make up for because of my stupid mistakes.
I want to savour every
second with him now, but I want to make up for every second we’ve missed out on
as well. I don’t want to waste a single moment anymore.
Eventually the guys finish
and after playing an encore for their screaming fans, they all walk off,
laughing and slapping each other on the back. Jared walks straight over to me
and without even thinking, I wrap my arms around his waist and pull him against
me. He is hot and drenched in sweat, but I don’t care.
“Hey,” he says, grinning
as he leans down to kiss me.
I laugh. “Hey yourself
rock star.”
Jared laughs now and does
a little sway with his hips, pushing them against mine and driving me even crazier.
“What did you think?” he asks, knowing damn well they were amazing.
I grip his hips, stopping
his movements before I combust. “I think,” I say, leaning in to kiss him again.
“That you were amazing, unbelievably amazing, best show ever.”
He wraps his free arm
around my shoulder, pulling me closer. His other hand still holds his guitar as
he lowers his face so his lips are just a breath away from mine. “That’s
because I finally had you to play for baby,” he whispers before kissing me, ever
so gently this time.
Everything inside of me
melts; at his words, his kiss, his arm wrapped around me. My hands on his hips
pull him closer now and I drown in him, more than ready to make up for all of
our lost time. Someone bumping into us breaks us apart, but rather than be
upset, we both laugh before walking over to where the others all are and
joining in the group hug.
Everything about tonight
feels amazing.
Having Jared back, seeing them play like they
did, the energy that surrounds all of us.
It all just feels too good
to be true.
The next day, 2:34am –
Jared
We walk out the back door
and into the alley where Ben’s van is parked. Everyone is helping pack up and
although there is no snow tonight, it is freezing cold. I walk over to the door
to check that we have everything and from the corner of my eye, I see Mia turn
and step towards me. I stand completely still and just watch her. We are almost
touching, only a sliver of air between us. Despite the cold air, all I can feel
now, is heat. The heat of Mia’s body almost touching mine, the heat of what I
know is going to happen tonight when we get back home.
Despite everything that
happened this afternoon, I want her again. I want her in ways like I’ve never
wanted her before. My heart is pounding and my hands are itching to touch her
again, to move all over her body. I want to explore every single part of her,
re-learn what her body feels like, re-learn all the different ways to turn her
on. This afternoon was fucking amazing and I loved every second of it, but it
was too quick, and all built on grief.
And I want more, much
more. I want all night tonight and all day tomorrow with her. I want every
single day and night after that. I want to savour her, devour her,
love
her. I want to make up for all of our lost time and I
want to keep her. I want it to be about nothing but Mia and me
;
about nothing more than me, loving her.
Shit, I am so fucking
turned on right now.
“Hey you,” Mia whispers to
me, a smile on her face as she steps a tiny bit closer, almost closing the gap
between us.
“Hey yourself,” I whisper
back, the cold air making white puffs with our breath. I watch as they swirl in
the night, merging together. I want that to be our mouths, our tongues,
our
bodies. I am desperate to touch her.
I hear Luke’s voice, but I
have no idea what he says.
“Go on ahead,” I tell him
anyway. “We’ll catch you.”
I can’t take my eyes off
of Mia as I step towards her, wanting to press my body against hers now. She’s
smiling up at me, the white puffs coming harder as her breathing gets faster. I
smile back at her, watch as she bites her bottom lip in anticipation. I am just
about to take that final step and close the distance between us, when I hear
it.
A loud
crack.
Ringing into the still night air, shattering everything.
The scream that follows is
much worse. But it’s the terror I feel as I watch Mia turn and run, that’s
completely indescribable. I watch helplessly, stuck to the spot I’m standing
on, as Mia runs to where Luke now sits, holding Ash in his arms. To where a
strange man stands, watching everything that’s happening in front of him as
though it’s some kind of private show, just for him.
“MIA!” I scream, as the
gun I now realise he’s holding, points at her.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, this
can’t be happening, not now, not after everything that’s happened between us.
Not after Mia has finally talked to me and told me everything. Not after I’ve
finally gotten her back. Memories of our reconnection flood my brain. The feel
of her fingers on my skin and her mouth against mine; the sounds she made as I
touched her and the smell of her skin as I kissed her all over. The feel of her
body against mine; wrapped in my arms. It was something I’d been missing,
craving for so long and I can’t lose it.
I can’t lose her, not now,
not like this. Not ever.
I take off after her, my
heart pounding at the thought that I might. That I might lose her in a way that
is much more permanent. My legs feel like lead, as though my feet are stuck to
the pavement and every step towards her is an effort I’m barely able to make. I
see my arm stretched out in front of me, fingers reaching for her, desperate to
get to her.
Time slows down and I
don’t know what happens next. I only know that just as I reach Mia, this man
smiles at us as though this is all some huge fucking joke. I watch as he raises
his arm, the hand that’s holding his gun, until it’s pointing at Mia’s chest,
right at her heart. My own heart stops, right inside my chest.
No, no, no, I can’t lose
her; I can’t.
The only thing I can do,
is grab her hand, pull her backwards and into my arms, away from him. I hear
her scream and I yell out her name again, pulling her against me as we sink to
the cold pavement. Somewhere a siren rings out and this man finally turns and
runs.
Beside us now, I hear the
sound of Luke’s agonising sobs, his pleading cries to Ash, the sound of Ben’s
voice, yelling into his phone, Sarah screaming out for Pete and Steve to come
back. I have no idea what’s happening. All I know is there’s a
fuckload
of blood everywhere, most of it all over Luke and
Ash. I throw my arms around Mia now, checking her everywhere and she collapses
against me as an ambulance shows up, sirens and lights flashing, drowning out
everything else around us.
Shattering everything, in
an instant.
I watch speechless as the
paramedics
come and pull Ash from Luke’s arms. Mine tighten
around Mia instinctively, but she pushes me away, scrambling to her feet as she
grabs Luke and stops him from going after Ash.
“Do you know this woman?”
It’s one of the paramedics
and for a second I have no idea who he’s talking to. But then I see Luke,
staring at Ash’s bloodied body as it lies on the gurney, two strangers working
on her. Mia is shaking him, but he’s not moving, not saying anything.
“Do you know this woman?”
The question is asked
again and Luke still doesn’t move.
“Luke,” I say, walking
towards him, nudging him.
He turns to look at me and
his face is absolutely destroyed. In all the years I’ve known him, I have never
seen him look like this. He looks at me like he doesn’t even know who I am.
“Talk to them,” I say,
pointing to the paramedics. “Let them help her.”
He nods at me and I watch
as Mia walks him towards Ash. She’s lying on the gurney, covered in blood and
not moving. I’m too afraid to ask what the fuck is going on, whether she is
even still alive. Luke looks like he’s going to pass out or scream or punch
something.
Eventually they load Ash
into the ambulance, Luke climbing in behind her before the doors are slammed
shut.
“Come on, let’s go,” Ben
yells as he climbs into the driver’s seat of his van. I watch as Mia walks
straight past me and into the back of the van. I turn and follow, climbing in
and sitting beside her. No one says anything as Ben follows the ambulance all
the way to hospital, matching their speed and running every red light they do.
When we arrive, Ben pulls right in behind the ambulance, which already has its
doors open and Ash’s gurney out. Mia climbs over me and out of the van, walking
straight over to her brother, who is following Ash inside.
“I’ll go park and meet you
inside,” Ben says, his hands gripping the steering wheel.
“I’ll come with you,”
Sarah says, redoing her seat belt in the front seat.
Pete, Steve and I all
climb out and walk towards the doors. We are directed to a waiting area where
three other people are sitting. There is no sign of Luke or Mia and I
immediately walk out to try to find them. Mia is standing in the corridor,
blood all over her hands. There is no sign of Luke, so I walk over to her and
pull her into my arms. She is shaking, badly.
“Where’s Luke?” I ask,
running my hand up and down her back as I hold her tight against me.
Mia shrugs in my arms, but
says nothing, so I pull her into the waiting room where the others are. Pete is
already loading coins into a vending machine and getting coffees. As soon as he
sees me walk in and sit down, pulling Mia into my lap, he hands her a coffee.
Mia’s hands are shaking so badly, she can’t hold it, so I smile gratefully at
him and take it for her.
I don’t know how long we
sit here for, but eventually a nurse brings Luke into the room. To say he looks
destroyed would probably be the biggest understatement of all time. Despite the
fact she has said nothing since we got here, the minute Mia sees him she is up
off my lap and wrapping her arms around him. It’s like a punch in the gut and I
don’t mean to react this way, but I do and I have to force myself to get up and
walk over to him.
He is her brother.
They have always looked out for each other, always been there for each
other.
He is her brother and he needs her tonight, now more than ever.
I put my hand on his
shoulder and squeeze. He turns to look at me and he has a look of such
devastation on his face that I have no idea what to say. Mia pushes him towards
the chair we were just sitting in, forcing him to sit down. He does and
immediately buries his head in his hands as Mia holds him. For the first time,
I register that he is covered in blood.
“Luke,” I say quietly,
standing in front of him. “Are you alright?”
I should ask about Ash,
but I have no idea if he even knows the answer to that question. I watch as he
shakes his head without even lifting it.
“Are you hurt?” I ask,
crouching down in front of him.
“He’s not,”
Mia
whispers, not looking at me. “It’s Ash’s blood.”
Luke lets out a sob at the
mention of her name and I straighten up, knowing he needs to get rid of it.
“I’ll be back in a sec,” I say as I turn and walk towards the restroom. Inside,
I grab a heap of paper towels, sticking them under the water before heading
back to the waiting area. Handing them to Mia, I watch as she gently wipes her
brother’s skin, slowly cleaning off Ash’s blood. There’s even more of it on his
shirt, a huge stain on the front from where he held her against him. I turn to
Pete, who is already pulling off his sweater and handing it to me. He shivers
slightly in his t-shirt, smiling as Steve wraps an arm around his shoulders and
pulls him closer.
“Mia, here,” I say,
handing Pete’s sweater to her.
She lifts off Luke’s
bloodied t-shirt and I grab it from her and stuff it in the trash before Luke
has a chance to see it. I watch as her hand touches the bandage on his chest,
which must cover up the tattoo he got done for Ash today. Luke flinches in
response and Mia is immediately calming him, gently pulling on the clean
sweater and covering his tattoo. God, whatever it is he had done, I hope it
doesn’t end up being a memorial to her.
We sit for what feels like
forever. I’m next to Mia but her focus is all on Luke and even though I have no
right to feel like this, with every passing minute, I feel like she is slipping
away from me again. She hasn’t talked to me since she cleaned up her brother,
we’ve barely looked at each other and she hasn’t touched me at all. We are all
sitting in silence, none of us knowing what to say, all of us knowing there
really isn’t anything we can say.
Eventually a guy in scrubs
comes looking for Luke. We all stand and I can see Luke is visibly shaking as
the doctor explains what happened. I don’t understand much of it, except that
Ash’s heart stopped when they brought her in here, which Luke apparently saw
and then she was taken for surgery.
“Is she alive?” he asks,
the first words he’s spoken since it all happened.
Fuck I can’t even imagine
what this has all been like for him and as I turn to check he is okay, all I
see is Mia hugging him, hear the doctor telling Luke that Ash will be okay.
He slumps back into the
plastic chair when he’s told he can see her in a little while.
I do the same, wondering
what the hell happens next.