Stubborn Love (25 page)

The next day, 7:06am – Mia

“We’ll come back in a
couple of hours, okay?” I tell Luke, my arms wrapped around his neck. I feel
him nod against me. “Let me know if you want us to bring anything.” He nods
again and I really want him to speak to me, to actually say something. He
hasn’t said a single word since he asked the doctor if Ash was alive.

“Luke?” I ask, pushing him
back so he’s forced to look at me. “You okay?”

He nods at me and it’s
really starting to freak me out now.

“Say something, please?”

He blinks at me as though
he doesn’t understand my question or maybe he’s trying to work out what to say.

“Luke, she’s going to be
okay,” I tell him, my hands on his shoulder now. “Ash is going to be okay.”

He clears his throat.
“Yeah,” he finally says.

“Are you alright?”

He nods at me again, but
it’s not really convincing.

“Really?”

“I just need to see her,”
he says. “I just want to see her.”

I pull him into another
hug. “Go. Go be with her and we’ll come back later. Let me know if you need
anything, okay?”

“Okay,” he says pulling
back. “Thank you Mia.”

I smile up at him.
“Anytime Luke, you know that.”

We all watch as a nurse
takes Luke and they walk off down the corridor. He looks back at us once and I
wave at him. Jared is standing beside me, but we aren’t touching and as Luke
disappears, I turn to face him. As soon as I do, I see why. It’s written all
over his face. He thinks I’m going to do it again. He thinks I’m running,
ditching him for my brother, and leaving him all over again. But I’m not. I
smile up at him, but he still doesn’t say anything so I reach out and take his
hand.

“So see you all back here
in a few hours?” Steve asks.

“Yeah,” I say without
taking my eyes off Jared.

“Okay, good night.”

“Yep.” I thread my fingers
through his and tug him closer now. His face doesn’t change, but he takes a
reluctant step towards me. I wrap his arm around my waist, before sliding my
own hands around his and resting them under his shirt, against his warm skin.
Pressing up on my toes, I put my lips against his.

“Take me home, Jared.”

He doesn’t say anything,
doesn’t kiss me back, even when I try a second time. “You’re not staying?” he
eventually asks, confused.

“No, I’m going home,” I
tell him. “With you.”

Ben and Sarah walk past
us, saying goodbye. As they do, I feel Jared’s other hand wrap slowly around my
waist and I smile at him.

“You were worried weren’t
you?” I ask him.

He just nods.

“Worried this was going to
be the start of it all over again?”

Jared nods again.

“That’s not going to
happen,” I say, kissing him lightly. “I promise.”

Jared pulls me to him now
and kisses me hard on the lips. I melt against him and let him in, let him do
whatever he needs to do to believe me. I get why he’d freak out, because
running is exactly the type of thing I’d have done in the past, but not
anymore.

“Take me home,” I murmur
against his lips. “I want to go home.”

Jared takes my hand and we
walk out of the hospital and grab a taxi. Ben has already left and taken his
van with him and without speaking, we both agree, a taxi is the best option. We
don’t talk the entire ride home just sit together, my hand in his and my head on
his shoulder. I don’t really know how to process what happened last night, what
Luke must be going through, or how the hell Ash is doing. All I know is I want
to go home and I want to have a shower and then I want to crawl into bed with
Jared and sleep for a day. If last night taught me anything, it’s just how
precious all of this is.

It’s strange how Ash’s
words to me only two nights ago, can mean so much more now.
So
much more.
And I know I don’t want to waste any more time not being with
Jared.

When we reach the
apartment, Jared pulls me upstairs and inside. Once inside, I turn to him. “I’m
gonna
take a shower, come with me.”

He nods again and we walk
into the bathroom, pulling our clothes off as we go. Jared leans in and gets
the water running and when it’s warm, he pulls me inside with him. We stand
under the warm water, our arms wrapped around each other and it takes me a
second to realise Jared is shaking, badly.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I
ask, pulling back to look at him.

“Nothing,” he answers,
burying his face in my neck again.

I lift his head in my
hands; force him to look at me. “Talk to me Jared, what’s wrong?”

I watch as he takes a deep
breath, lifting his eyes to mine. “You scared the fuck out of me last night,”
he says. “The absolute fuck out of me.”

I don’t understand what he
means, how I scared him and I guess the look on my face tells him that, because
he continues. “Running towards that guy, with the gun?”

“Oh,” I answer.

“Baby, why did you do
that?”

I shrug my shoulders. “I
don’t know, I wasn’t thinking,” I answer.

“I can’t lose you again,
Mia,” Jared says, his voice anguished and what now looks like tears, falling
down his face. “I can’t get you back, only to lose you again.”

I smooth back his wet
hair, before sliding my hand to his cheek, where I hold it there. Jared’s eyes
close briefly, before he opens them again. His stare is intense and it bores
right into me in such a way that I couldn’t look away, even if I wanted to.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“I’m so sorry.”

“I can’t lose you again.”

His words wrap around my
heart, squeezing it tight and making me realise, again, just how much I hurt
him, not only in the past, but even last night. I don’t know why I did what I
did, why I ran towards the gun. All I knew was Luke was in danger and I ran to
help him. But then I guess that’s part of what this has always been about.

“Jared,” I tell him, my
voice firm. “You won’t, you won’t ever lose me, I’m not going anywhere anymore.
I promise.”

Jared says nothing, just
stares down at me, searching, reading,
trying
to
believe me.

“Kiss me,” he finally
says.

And I do. I press up on my
toes and put my mouth against his. His hand slides up my back and into my hair,
cupping the back of my head and holding me against him. The kiss is slow, but
intense. I’m trying to show him how I feel, that I meant what I said yesterday,
last night, and today. I want him to believe me, to know that I mean it when I
say I am not running this time. I’m never running again.

Eventually he pulls back
and both of us are breathing a little harder. He smiles at me and that vice
around my heart starts to loosen.

“Turn around.”

I’m about to ask why, when
he holds up the soap, indicating he wants to wash me. So I smile back at him
and turn, facing the shower door. Jared lifts my arms and hooks my hands over
the top of the door and then ever so slowly, he starts to wash to me. Starting
with my right hand, he soaps up my skin, a combination of the soap and his
lathered fingers, dancing over me. When he reaches my shoulder, I have to bite
my lip to stifle a laugh as his fingers move under my arm, tickling me. He
repeats the process on my left arm, before both hands leave my body.

When they return, the soap
has gone and it’s just his warm soapy fingers that begin to wash me, massage my
shoulders and slowly get closer to my breasts. When he finally reaches them,
his hands slow down even more, before they leave my body again only to return
with more soap as they now move over my stomach and down between my legs. A
thousand memories of yesterday flood my brain as his fingers move over me.
Although the whole thing is incredibly erotic, it’s less sexual and more about
love. It’s as though he is slowly discovering every single part of me, all over
again.
Discovering me, cleaning me and at the same time, washing
away the past.

His hands eventually stop,
leaving my body again, only to return as he washes each of my legs, all the way
down to my toes and back. When he’s done, he turns me around and pulls me into
his arms where he kisses me deeply. I groan as he pushes against me and I feel
what this has done to him.

“I love you Mia,” he says
between kisses. “I love you so fucking much.”

I smile. “I love you too.”

I return the favour,
washing every inch of Jared’s body before we dry off and head to bed. I leave
the blinds open, the early morning sun warming the room, as I pull Jared into
bed with me. His body covers mine as he kisses my lips and we don’t speak at
all, as we kiss each other endlessly.

Afterwards, I lie wrapped
in his arms, the warmth of the sun and his skin sending me into a deep,
dreamless sleep.

The next day, 11:59am –
Jared

I am woken by the most
amazing sensation in the world, something I never thought I’d get to feel
again. Mia’s fingers running all over my bare skin. God, it feels amazing and I
keep my eyes closed, faking sleep, just so she’ll keep doing it for a bit
longer. As they drift lightly up over my chest, though, I can’t stop myself and
I grab her wrist and pull her on top of me.

“Hey you,” I whisper to
her, my eyes slowly opening to find her smiling face looking down at me.

“Hey yourself,” she
whispers back; as she leans down to kiss me.

I feel my whole body wake
up now as my blood surges. I can’t get enough of her, and my arms tighten
around her warm body, my mouth lifting to hers as I drink her in. I haven’t
slept that well in forever and I know it’s because she was lying in my arms
again. Right now, I can’t ever imagine getting out of this bed and as her
fingers move over me, I am hit with an overwhelming urge to prove to her just
how much I want her, how much I need her. How much I love her.

Last night scared the shit
out of me. The guy with the gun, what happened with Ash, Mia running to be with
Luke.
All of that was bad enough, fucking awful, but
mostly, it scared the shit out of me because I thought I was going to lose her
again, and there was nothing I could do about it. And I cannot go through that
again.

I roll us over so Mia is
lying beneath me now, sliding my hand down her body and hitching her leg over
my hip. She gently tugs on my lower lip, her fingers digging into my back as I
move so I can slide inside her.

“Jared,” she groans and it
sounds so fucking sexy, I have to stop for a second so I don’t completely lose
it.

“Baby,” I whisper against
her lips. “I love you.”

She groans again and I
kiss her hard, as my hips slowly start to move, gently pushing inside of her as
she wraps her other leg around me now. My hands brush her hair back, cupping her
face as I kiss her over and over again, telling her how much I love her every
time.

“Should we head over to
the hospital?” I ask later, my fingers running through Mia’s hair as she lies
on my chest.

“
Mmmmm
,”
she says, wrapping her arms around me.

“You don’t want to?”

Mia lifts her head and
looks at me, a smile on her face. “I want to stay right here with you,” she
says. “But you’re right, we should head over there.”

“Text Luke and see what
they need us to bring, and I’ll go make us some coffee,” I say, sliding out of
bed.

“Hey,” Mia says as I get
up and pull on a pair of sweats.

“What?”

She crooks her finger at
me, beckoning me back to her. I smile as I walk over, bending over her body so
my hands are resting on either side of her. Mia leans up and presses her lips
against mine.

“I love you,” she says.

I laugh, my heart pounding
in my chest. “And I am never going to get tired of hearing you say that.”

After coffee, a quick
shower and getting some things together for Luke and Ash, we head towards the T
station. I walk with my arm wrapped around Mia’s shoulders, just like I used
to. It all feels completely normal, as though this past year has never
happened, but at the same time, so brand new. I
love it
,
really love it
. But at the same time, I know, despite everything
that was said yesterday, there is still a big fucking elephant following us
around, a big fucking elephant that’s reminding us there are things we really
need to discuss.

“Mia,” I say, pulling her
against me.

“
Mmmm
?”

“What’s going to happen
about Chicago, baby?” She tenses under my arm and her hand, which is wrapped
around my waist, grips my hip tighter, sending a spike right through my heart.

“What do you mean?”

I look down at her, but
she is staring straight ahead. “I mean
,
are you going
to let me come and live with you this time?” I ask, my fingers squeezing her
shoulder.

“What about last night?”
Mia asks, glancing at me quickly. “The people that came to watch you guys,
aren’t you going to do it? I mean it’s recording an album, Jared, it’s an
amazing opportunity.”

I exhale loudly. Of course
it is and if it pans out, of course I want to do it. But I want her more, I
always have. “It is,” I say quietly.

“So you should do it then
Jared.
You can’t
not
do this.”

I turn to look at her
again and she’s looking up at me now, a hopeful smile on her face. “So what,
we’re going to try the whole long distance thing then?” I ask, not exactly
thrilled with that idea because it’s too easy for things to stay hidden. I
can’t help but wonder if we’ve spent more of our relationship either sneaking
around or doing long distance, than we’ve actually spent together.

“Well,” she eventually
answers. “I was actually thinking the long distance thing was a bad idea.”

My heart is pounding now,
unsure about exactly what she’s saying. I want to believe it, but I’m too
scared to, so I say nothing, waiting for her to continue.

“And I was thinking
instead,” she continues. “That maybe I could come with you?”

“What do you mean, come
with me?” I ask, my heart literally beating its way out of my chest right now.

“Jared,” she says, forcing
us to stop walking as she turns and faces me, wrapping both of her arms around
my waist. “What I mean is, that I want to come with you if you go to LA. I want
to be with you when you do this, not in Chicago, without you.”

“And what if we don’t do
this album thing in LA?” I ask, wondering if I’m on the verge of having a
fucking heart attack right now. “Then what?”

Mia smiles up at me, not
saying anything. Fuck, I love it and I hate it when she does this. It usually
means it’s going to be an answer I like, but she drags it out, making me wait
in way that’s probably similar to being fucking tortured.

“Mia?”

“You will do this album in
LA, Jared, it’s definitely
gonna
happen,” she says, her eyes firmly on mine. “But if for some reason it doesn’t,
well then I was wondering, if maybe I could move back in with you, here, in
Boston.”

“But what about your dad?”
I ask, wondering how he’s going to react to her leaving Chicago this time.

“Jared,” she says,
tightening her arms. “I don’t give a fuck what my dad thinks anymore. And if
you’re sure you’re willing to take on all of the shit that comes with being
with me, then I am all in. But are you up for the challenge Jared, really?”

I know what I should be
saying.
Anytime,
anywhere.
And it’s true, I am, but this time, I don’t even bother
answering her, I just tighten my arms around her, pick her up and press my
mouth hard against hers. My heart has either completely stopped beating now or
else, it has left my body entirely, I can’t really tell and to be honest, I
don’t fucking care. I am too busy kissing Mia and thanking whatever fucking law
of the universe it was that has finally given her back to me.

When I eventually put her
down and
Mia’s
flushed and smiling face is looking up
at me, she asks, “So that’s a yes?”

“Baby,” I say, leaning
down to kiss her again, softer this time. “
That,
is a
big fat fucking yes.”

And the only thing I hear
is Mia’s laughter as I pull her into my arms. I hold her to me this time; hold
this woman who has stolen my heart and soul, tight against me. I feel like
she’s finally, after so long, starting to bare hers to me and I want her to
know that she can, that she can tell me anything she wants to, because not only
does she own my heart and soul, but I will protect hers with everything I’ve
got. I will protect her as though my life depends on it.

When we eventually get to
the hospital, we run into Steve and Pete who are carrying a tray of coffees.

“You guys seen Ben?” I
ask, taking one of the cups they offer me.

“Well, he and Sarah went
home together last night, so my guess, he’s probably still in bed with her,”
Pete says smiling. “But I see
you two
have
finally
sorted your shit out?”
he continues, gesturing to Mia and me.

I look down and see Mia
blushing as she tightens her arms and I can’t help but laugh. “We have,” I say,
kissing the top of her head.

“About fucking time,”
Steve says, taking a sip of coffee.

We all head down to find
Ash’s room. She’s been moved from wherever Luke was taken last night, but I’ll
guarantee he has not left her side since. I’m pretty sure I’d be doing the same
thing if it were Mia lying in that bed.

And the thought at how
close that came to being a possibility sends a shiver right through me.