Something Like Summer (39 page)

Ben felt as if he was
saying good-bye to everything as he entered the apartment. He knew
when he stroked Samson, it would be for the last time, and he
couldn’t bear to think of all the other things he was about to
lose. He had to tell Jace now while he still had the
courage.

“
I was with Tim. We slept
together.”

Jace’s face was strained.
“I figured. Got it all out of your system now?”

Ben nodded.

“
Good.” Jace slipped out
of his shoes and started working on his tie. Wasn’t he going to
take Ben home? Or maybe he was expected to walk back.

“
Don’t you want to get out
of that doofy robe?” Jace asked.

“
I don’t
understand.”

Jace sighed. “My love for
you doesn’t stop just because you make a stupid mistake. An
extremely stupid mistake, I might add. I love you, and if you
promise to trust my word in the future, then I’ll trust you again,
too.”

The strange combination of
laughter and tears and relief overtook Ben. Jace helped him out of
his robe, took off his own jacket, and led him to the bedroom. Ben
crawled into bed and Jace got in behind him, spooning himself
against Ben’s back. They lay there for hours, taking turns holding
each other while Samson purred contentedly at their
feet.

__________

Part Three:

Austin, 2003

__________

Chapter 26

Falling in love is a subtle process, a connection
sparked by
attraction, tested by compatibility, and forged by memory. In this
same manner, Austin had became a part of Ben and Jace’s life. They
had dined in Austin’s restaurants, danced in its clubs, and lazed
away more than one afternoon in its parks. Austin had everything
they needed, and moving would mean leaving behind the backdrop to
both good and bad times. Ben and Jace had fallen in love with
Austin, and found, quite by surprise, that they were already
home.

Allison was staying, too.
She plunged into her career, not even taking a summer break. She
got a job at a local shelter for teenage runaways, apprenticing at
a mental health hospital in her spare time. There she met the man
she would marry. Brian was a struggling alcoholic, and proving how
strange love could be, Allison found everything she was looking for
in him.

Ben didn’t have such
instant success. He took most of the summer off, travelling
occasionally with Jace and seeing brief glimpses of the country. He
spent one month at his parents’ house, the first proper visit with
his family since he left for college. When he returned to Austin,
he worked as a temp for a year, still uncertain of what he wanted
to do.

Allison suggested a
position at the hospital where she now worked. A part-time job as a
speech therapist had opened there. Allison had enough influence
that he didn’t even need to interview. Ben took the position to get
away from menial temp work, and almost instantly found the job
rewarding.

His clients were varied, to
say the least. Some were accident victims who had lost their
ability to speak due to physical or mental traumas. Others were
stroke survivors, and occasionally he worked with children born
with speech impediments. Ben enjoyed breaking the words apart to
reshape and customize for each individual to say. For the first
time in his life, he felt like he was doing something
worthwhile.

Never one to leave things
half-done, Allison found him another job to occupy the rest of his
time. Brian, who by now had been sober for almost two years, was
also part-owner of a dinner theater. There, a play featuring a few
musical numbers was scheduled. Unlike speech therapy, Ben did not
easily warm to this idea. He had no dramatic training and little
urge to perform for an audience he imagined as a sea of bald and
blue-haired heads.

He was certain he would
turn down the opportunity, but then Jace switched to the
international routes he had always wanted. Ben was happy for him
but knew this meant even more time spent apart. Deciding it would
help keep him occupied, Ben accepted a small role at the dinner
theater. His first part only had a few speaking lines and one song;
he was playing a poor street urchin who loses his life to the cold,
harsh winter.

Everything changed the
first night he stepped out onto stage. The magic of theater turned
him into that urchin, and he sang with his entire soul. He received
a standing ovation, and continued to with every performance. He
never would have thought it possible, but he had fallen in love
with theater and eagerly took on larger roles.

In what would have been
spring break if he was still in college, four years after they had
met, Ben and Jace went to Paris. They both knew what this meant,
and the air was thick with anticipation as they both waited for the
proposal. The moment came when Jace proposed to Ben during a
breakfast in bed. He had hidden the ring in a French croissant,
which made Ben laugh so hard that he almost couldn’t say
yes.

Now the big day had come,
and so far it was nothing like Ben had pictured it. Movies were
full of grooms with cold feet, but Ben couldn’t be more ready.
Choosing to spend the rest of his life with Jace was the easy part.
Getting the wedding party organized while juggling the needs of
guests wasn’t. Right now Ben was most worried about the
tablecloths. Wind was picking up across the lake and threatening to
send the table decorations flying through the park.

“
I think we’re going to
need some rocks,” Ben said.

“
I know the caterers are
running late,” Allison said drolly, “but I don’t think that’s a
good solution.”

“
Ugh, don’t remind me. Do
you think I should run to the grocery store and pick up some veggie
platters? Or a fun pack of Snickers at least?”

“
Everyone is fine,”
Allison said. “The food isn’t supposed to be served until after the
ceremony anyway. If they’re still not here by then, we’ll order
pizza.”

Ben looked to the pagoda
they had reserved. White roses covered every inch of the wooden
surface that wasn’t already awash in ribbons and balloons. Against
the odds, he and Allison had managed to bring a garish amount of
decorations together into a beautiful display. The thought of what
was about to take place there distracted Ben momentarily from all
that needed to be done.

He scanned the crowd until
he found the only person dressed in a white tuxedo. More handsome
than ever, Jace was surrounded by a gaggle of aunts and cousins,
nodding pleasantly and smiling since they wouldn’t let him get a
word in. He caught Ben staring and gave a helpless little shake of
his head. Ben would have to extract him from his family if they
were to ever get started.

“
There’s the catering
van,” Allison said. “No, you stay here. Brian!”

As usual, whenever Allison
called, Brian responded. She may have found someone even more
patient than Jace, because Brian seemed to be always running an
errand for her or performing some task. The poor man was run
ragged, but Brian had nothing but love in his eyes for
Allison.

The wedding DJ’s speakers
blared into life. Ben’s jaw dropped at the song that was being
played. “That’s our wedding march! The idiot is playing it
early.”

The next thing Ben knew,
Jace was at his side and guiding him to the pagoda. The guests were
scrambling for their seats, while Ben kept trying to protest that
this was all in conflict with the schedule.

Then they were standing in
front of everyone. Neither Ben nor Jace were particularly
religious, so they had chosen to be married at a lake-side park
rather than a church. The idea of having any sort of priest
presiding over their ceremony didn’t suit them either, at least not
at the time. Now Ben wished more than anything there was someone to
guide their actions.

The song came to an end,
and Jace began his speech. Ben only heard some of it, words like
commitment and laughter, and something about growing old together,
but the word that stood out the most was forever. No more
uncertainty or wavering, no more lonely nights or pain. Just
forever, with Jace.

At that moment Ben wanted
nothing more. Ben had written a speech, and it was a good one too,
but he didn’t have the patience for it now. He grabbed the rings
set on a pedestal before them, shoved one into Jace’s hand, and
kissed him.

After a surprised silence,
the guests broke into applause and the DJ cued the next song. Ben
had no idea what to do next, since he hadn’t planned this part, but
Jace took him in his arms and began to sway to the
music.

“
So we’re married?” Ben
asked, still not believing it.

“
Yup,” Jace
said.

“
Simple as
that?”

“
Simple as that,” Jace
laughed. “Just a promise and nothing more. Hard to believe that
anyone makes a big deal out of it.”

“
It is a big deal!” Ben
protested, but this only made Jace laugh more.

As they danced, food was
unloaded from vans, corks popped out of champagne bottles, and
music was played, but it was some time before the newly married
couple ended their embrace and walked hand in hand into a crowd of
people who loved them.

* * * * *

The summer evening sky was
clear, a gentle breeze keeping the temperature mild. On nights like
this the theater was never filled to capacity. Ticket sales didn’t
go down, but attendance did since not as many people showed up. Ben
imagined audience members becoming distracted on their way to the
theater, lured away by parks and riverside strolls.

Ben wanted to escape back
into that summer night as well. He had already performed all but
his final scene. He was playing the suitor of a powerful older
woman. His character intended to marry the woman for her money but
had inadvertently fallen in love with her, evidence of his
once-greedy intentions coming to light just before the wedding.
Ben’s last appearance in the play was a song to his lover, begging
her forgiveness.

The usual terror and
excitement stole over him as he returned to stage to begin his
song. His fiancée rejected his apology as she did in every
performance, leaving him alone on stage. Ben turned to the
audience, the remaining lyrics those of remorse.

“
Had I but known you when
you were poor, had you but known me when I was pure.”

He swept his eyes over the
audience, barely seeing them through his musical trance, but
something pulled him back. A gaze more intense than others. Had the
eyes been silver?

“
If I could pull this love
from my chest, leave you standing with all the rest.”

Tim. Ben was sure he was
out there. Seeing the audience from the stage was never easy, but
the shape of his face, the glint of those eyes. It had to be him.
Ben wanted to step forward, out of the blinding spotlight, but he
wouldn’t allow his voice to waver.

“
But now there’s nothing
left inside of me, just broken pieces no one can see.”

The lights faded, the
entire theater in shadow. The applause made Ben flinch before a
harsh whisper reminded him to return backstage. He waited in the
wings as the rest of the play went on, squinting into the darkness
at the figure he had seen, convinced at times that he had been
mistaken. Then came the curtain call. Ben joined his fellow actors
in their bows, impatient for the lights to rise so the audience
could leave. By the time they did, the table was empty.

The next night was much the
same. From his first line Ben’s attention was on the audience more
than the play. The figure sat at a different table this time, but
there he was, a solitary silhouette who never took his eyes off
Ben, even when the lines weren’t his. Ben could see him a bit
better at this new table, nursing a beer. Was that a cocky smile
between swigs?

“
Isn’t that right,
Jacob?”

Ben’s imaginary fiancée put
a meaningful hand on his shoulder.

“
Y-Yes!” He scrambled for
his line. “Yes, my dear, that is precisely what we shall do. Run
away together, prove the nay-sayers wrong!”

He turned his full
attention back to his acting, not looking at the audience again
until his final song. He put all of himself into his voice, singing
only to the table he could no longer see.
I know you’re there,
he wanted to
communicate.
I don’t know what you want,
but please don’t run away.

When the lights came up at
the end of the show, an empty beer glass was the only evidence that
the table had been occupied.

* * * * *

“
There’s someone waiting
for you,” Brian said as Ben scrubbed the makeup from his face. “In
reception.”

“
Jace?” Ben asked, already
knowing otherwise.

“
No, but maybe I should
give him a heads up,” Brian said, raising an eyebrow. “Whoever your
mystery man is, he’s smoking hot.”

“
Allison’s going to be sad
when she finds out you’re crossing over,” Ben joked.