Pink & Patent Leather (16 page)

“
You don’t like me? You don’t like what I’ve done? Then, just get out of here!”

His face was creased with anger and he stepped close to me. “
So, how does it feel, Sasha? Do you feel more like a Christian? Do you feel closer to God? What’s it like to sleep with a married man? What’s it like to be his jump-off?”

“
Get out!” Go! Now!” X turned to leave, but he didn’t move toward the door. Instead he grabbed me. At first, I didn’t know what he was going to do. Xavier wasn’t violent, but anyone could snap at anytime.

But then, as his grasp on me tightened, he squeezed his eyes shut and prayed, “
Dear God, Father help my friend, God. Please God help her. I know she believes she’s being led by you God…”

I tried to wrestle out of his arms. I didn
’t need him praying for me. “Let me go!”

“
God forgive her, Lord, please.” X released me and nearly ran from my bedroom. By the time I got to the door, he had already walked out, leaving my door open and my heart aching.

I screamed after him, “
You don’t know anything. I don’t care what you think.”

But, really I did care, because X had been my friend. The dearest friend I ever had. And I loved him, I think. But, now he was hurt, and now he was gone.

For a moment, I was worried. Would he run back to the church and confront Malik? Would Xavier tell everyone? That could have been a problem. But then again, maybe it wasn’t. Maybe X would tell the people who mattered in the church and it would speed up the process of Malik and I being together.

So, I calmed myself, laid down on my bed, a
nd began to hum...
Victory is mine, victory is mine, victory today is mine. I told Satan get thee behind, victory today is mine.

“Will a man rob God?”

As I sat in between my parents I had total happiness on the
inside. Every part of me still tingled; it was so hard to sit still and contain all of my joy. From the moment I had entered the sanctuary with my parents, I’d stood with the choir, clapping, and swaying, and praising God with everything within me because there was so much that I had to be thankful for.

There was only one thing wrong
—the devil kept trying to play with me. Images of Xavier and the way he’d looked at me, then, held me, and prayed for me were all in my head. I had to work hard to block those pictures and X’s words from my mind.

Even now, as Malik spoke from the altar, all I wanted to shout was, “
Preach, baby! Preach!” But instead, I couldn’t stop thinking about Xavier and the way he prayed for me and how he tried to preach to me. And now, I had a bigger question and bigger concern: where was Xavier?

I
’d been shocked when Malik had walked into the sanctuary and Xavier wasn’t with him. There wasn’t a service, a Bible study, or a prayer meeting that X ever missed when he was in D.C.. But today, Malik had walked out alone.

Wh
en I didn’t see X at first, I tried my best to glance around the sanctuary, casually, as if I weren’t looking for anyone in particular. I’d had to stop when my mother gave me a side-eye glance. I wasn’t trying to draw attention to myself with my parents. I’d driven my own car to church this morning, though my parents had timed our arrival so that we could walk in together. Even though more than a week had passed, since my mother had tried to slap my love for Malik right out of me, they were still being cautious. And, I was doing everything I could to act as if I were carefree, as if I had not a concern in the world. So, when I glanced around the church, I didn’t want my mother to ask me who was I looking for? I didn’t want my mother asking me why was I concerned about Xavier? I didn’t want my mother asking me anything.

But in the short time that I
’d had before I had to turn back around, I didn’t see, Xavier. And, I kept asking myself where was he?

I shook my head, wanting to get rid of all thoughts about Xav
ier. My focus had to be on my love. Malik and I were one now, in every way and he alone deserved my full attention. So, I kept my eyes on him.

But unlike the last two weeks in church, he didn
’t look at me. I kept my smile wide and my eyes wide and bright. I wanted him to look at me and see just how happy he had made me. And, I wanted him to look at me and show me how happy I’d made him. But, each time he happened to look in my direction, he quickly diverted his eyes.

Still, I kept my eyes on him and tried n
ot to look at that empty chair on the right side of the pulpit. Xavier’s chair. And just like that, my thoughts went right back to him. Was he just running late? Or maybe he had car problems. I tried to think of every excuse because I wouldn’t be able to handle it if Xavier had stayed away from church because of me. One of his favorite things to say was that nothing could ever separate any of us from the love of God. I just prayed that I hadn’t become that one thing that could make Xavier go against what he believed.

“
Will a man rob God?” Malik said again.

I frowned because though my mind kept wandering, I kept going back to Malik every time he said that. And this was at least the fourth time. Why was he saying that over and over again?

This sounded like a tithing message and I couldn’t recall ever hearing Malik preach about tithing before. Tithing and bringing our offerings to the church was just something that everyone did at Grace Tabernacle. Our church did more than survive, we thrived because the members gave willing. We were one of the richest churches in our district.

“
Church, turn your Bibles to Malachi three verse eight.”

All around me, folks pulled out their iPads, booted up their Kindles, and opened the Bible apps on their sma
rtphones. Only a few flipped through the pages of the Bible the old-fashioned way.

“
Church, I will ask you again, will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.” He slammed his Bible shut as if that was the final word. Then, he said, “Church, we’ve been robbed.”

As mumbles rumbled through the sanctuary, dread settled in the pit of my stomach. It was not only Malik
’s words that made me feel sick, it was his tone. Never in all the years that I’d heard him preach, had I heard such anger in his voice. His tone was sharp and cutting.

Suddenly, I felt myself perspiring. With just a little glance, my mother looked at me and took my hand. For just a second, I felt relieved, until I looked back at her. I
t was the way she smiled, in a wicked kind of way, that let me know she knew what Malik was going to say.

“
You heard me right, Church,” Malik shouted, but not in that ‘Hallelujah, thank you, Jesus,’ kind of way. His voice was on the edge of rage.

“
You heard me right, Church, we’ve been robbed. I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to tell you this, I was hoping that somehow the checkbook that the deacons couldn’t find would just pop up. I prayed that God would allow this bitter cup to pass. But now, after speaking with the detectives this morning....» Malik paused to not only let his words settle, but he had to stop for a moment because the loud mumbles began again. The congregation finally settled down, but my stomach didn’t.

Malik continued, “
But now after speaking with the detectives I have to face the facts and the facts say that our own Minister Xavier has robbed our church!”

This time a roar rolled through t
he sanctuary. The sounds of shock and anger filled the space.

While many turned in their seats and spoke to the person sitting next to them, I couldn
’t move. I could barely think, I was so stunned.

Mother turned to me and whispered. “
Your daddy never trusted that boy.”

The way she kept her eyes on me, I knew she wanted me to say something and I wanted to, but even if I had words, I couldn
’t get them out. I was absolutely speechless.

There was no way that I could believe this. X would never steal anything.
He was a true man of God. He loved the Lord and he loved Grace Tabernacle just as much. There had to be some mistake and Malik had to know that.

I watched as Malik just stood back, letting the members of Grace Tabernacle go on and on about
‘that thief, Xavier.’ And as I stared at him, I wondered why would Malik even bring this to the congregation? Shouldn’t he have spent more time trying to get to the truth? Because the truth was, there was no way that Xavier could do or would ever do this. He deserved the benefit of the doubt since he’d been such a good and true servant of God.

But as the members of Grace Tabernacle settled down, so did I. I might not believe what Malik said about Xavier, but Malik was my man. This was probably my first lesson in being a
good helpmate. So, I had to stand by Malik. If he believed that Xavier stole from the church, then, I would have to believe it, too.

The anger that I felt throughout the sanctuary troubled me, and I didn
’t miss the way a few people directed their stares toward me. All I wanted was for this service to end. I had to talk to Malik, find out what was going on, and maybe even say a few words on Xavier’s behalf.

Malik was finally able to get the services back on track, and as he moved through the rest of the mes
sage and then the altar call, I sat there, almost trembling with anxiety. I was ready to jump up when I thought Malik was going to begin the benediction, but instead of ending the service, he said, “I’d like my wife to join me, today.” He held out his hand gesturing toward Sister Stroman and I wondered why did he want that old birdbrain up there with him?

But after he gave the benediction, he stood, side-by-side with his wife and greeted the parishioners. 

At first, all I could do was stare at my man and his wife. But then, I calmed down. Malik was just doing what he had to do for now. As I slowly made my way toward the aisle, I pulled out my phone and texted Malik:
I need to see you, I’ll be waiting!!!!!

Just a few seconds later, I turned around and watche
d Malik as he un-clipped his phone and read my message. Even from where I was standing, I could see the ends of his lips curl into a small smile.

I was satisfied. I had no doubt that in just a few hours, I would be with my love. All I had to do now was wa
it.

***

It had taken a minute, but I was finally able to break free from my parents. Over and over, my mother had said, “Are you sure you don’t want to join us for brunch?”

It wasn
’t until I told my mother that I had plans with Amber that she finally stopped asking. I hated that I had to keep lying to my parents, but this was the way it had to be until Malik and I were finally together. I had no doubt that once Malik spoke to my parents, they would be thrilled. They would understand that I wasn’t infatuated, I hadn’t made it all up in my head. Once it was a done deal, it would be better for everyone.

Rushing home, I picked up my phone more than a few times, checking to see if Malik h
ad texted me back. Not that I really expected him to. I knew he would just come over. But still I checked because I also hoped that I’d hear something from Xavier.

Once home, I changed into a pair of pink silk boy shorts and a matching bra, then paced bac
k and forth in my bedroom as I held my cell in my hand. I paced until I was tired, and finally laid across my bed. It wasn’t that I was tired, at least not physically. But, I was exhausted emotionally. So much had happened in the last two days. I’d finally gotten together with my love, but I’d lost my best friend. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t get Xavier out of my mind.

I jumped up, startled when the intercom rang in my living room. Had I fallen asleep that quickly? I dashed to the intercom and when t
he concierge announced, “Pastor Stroman is here to see you,” I breathed.

“
Please send him up,” I said.

I was as anxious as I
’d been yesterday, but this time, it was for a different reason. Yes, I wanted to have Malik again. I wanted to feel his kisses and his hands all over me. But first, I needed Malik to tell me that somehow he had made a mistake, that he had found the checkbook, that X was innocent.

He had barely knocked before I swung the door open. But I didn
’t even get a chance to ask him a single question as he pulled me to him. With his hand behind my hand, he filled me with a feverish kiss and before I could catch my breath, he lifted me from my feet and carried me in his arms.

“
Malik,” I tried to call his name between his smothering kisses. I wanted to slow him down, talk to him first. But, I don’t even know how it happened. I was sure not more than thirty seconds passed before I was undressed and underneath Malik.

I felt like he was devouring me, like a tiger that hadn
’t been fed in months. This time, his lovemaking wasn’t as tender. This time, it was urgent. He kissed me and pounded me as if he wasn’t sure that he would ever have enough. He hardly stopped...until he did, an hour and a half later.