Out of Sight Out of Mind (19 page)

It was a simple two up, one down, with a long, narrow hall, a lean-to kitchen tacked on at the back of the house and a bedroom and bathroom under the eaves. The furniture was sparse but comfortable: two huge leather chairs and a wide, well-stuffed sofa, that looked far too big for the narrow cottage door. There were rugs and throws in cloudy pastels, and cushions embroidered with Celtic symbols. Local art hung on the walls, pictures of birds and old castles. The kitchen was fully equipped. Pots and pans were stacked on a shelf over the cooker. Plates and dishes displayed on a narrow dresser. There was no dust anywhere.

‘Look.’ Madison guided Jay to the kitchen window. Outside was a pocket-handkerchief garden, south facing and sheltered by an old apple tree and a wall that looked a lot more ancient than the building. An old wooden bench stood on a minute square of lawn. Late bluebells were flopping beneath bushes that were sharp green with new leaf. A ragged gap in the wall, where stones had collapsed inwards in a heap, gave a theatrical view of the sea. The water mirrored the blue of the sky. It was covered in white caps where currents raced and the breeze whipped up the foam.

Madison put out her hand to find Jay’s. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, deep, damp and hot.

‘You know what they say? About making a house a home?’

‘What?’

He whispered into her ear, biting her lobe as she giggled. Her hands were busy already, untucking his shirt. He kissed her again, hard. When his fingers pressed between her legs, she was already moist. She squirmed as he stroked her, her hands cupping his buttocks through the rough denim of his jeans.

‘Madison.’ He was breathless, kissing down her neck. The other hand was skimming under her sweater. She moved, so that her breast fell into it, and purred when his fingers circled and teased. ‘If you want to go upstairs—’

She shook her head, grinning, and licked his lower lip. Enjoyed the reaction. ‘Here,’ she murmured. ‘Now.’

She grabbed his shoulders as he boosted her on to the stout cupboard beside the sink; then her fingers were on his zip and tugging. He groaned against her mouth. Her skirt had ridden up, almost to her waist. Pushing the silk of her panties aside and parting her thighs, he was inside her in one thrust. She blinked, swallowed, smiled, then wrapped her arms about his neck and her legs around his hips. For a single, intense moment she hugged him close, before easing away, her palms resting on his chest. He dipped his head, to taste her throat, as her head fell back. Squirming, laughing; shivering when his lips drifted towards her breasts, she lowered her hands to delve under his shirt, murmuring in frustration as her fingers tangled in the fabric. Buttons popped and she had what she wanted. Slick, smooth male flesh. Satisfaction hummed in her throat as she ran her hands, then her tongue, over his chest.

‘You make me crazy.’ He could barely get the words out. She was so wet, hot, enclosing him. He moved inside her. Clinging to him, she matched his thrusts, body bowed back against his supporting arm.

She came in a shower of sparks, feeling him spill, hot and urgent.

He was still holding her, face buried in her hair. ‘The place is ours now. All ours,’ she whispered, as she touched her lips against his shoulder.

Madison dropped a loaf the size and shape of a small cartwheel into the rustic basket she’d picked up at the door of the shop. One side of the shop was a bakery, the other a greengrocer and general store. She consulted her list, picking up a packet of butter and a carton of milk from the chiller cabinet. There was a display of Welsh cheese. She pointed out the piece she wanted cut to the woman behind the counter. ‘What’s in there?’ she asked as Jay ambled over with a bulging paper bag.

‘Welsh cakes.’ He showed her the flat, sugar-dusted circles. ‘What’s Bara brith?’

‘I think it’s a kind of tea bread. Looks good.’ She added the rich-looking, fruit-studded loaf to the rest, handing Jay the basket to go and pick apples out of a wooden crate beside the door.

In the end they bought the basket, too. They were loading it into the car, parked on the outskirts of Tenby, outside the city walls, when Jay’s stomach grumbled loudly.

‘What do you expect?’ he defended himself. ‘All I’ve had since eight is a plastic motorway sandwich and a couple of Welsh cakes.’ He touched her arm. ‘Forget cooking. What’s that way?’ He pointed towards a narrow, sloping street.

It was still early, but several of the eating places along the harbour were already open for business.

The restaurant they chose was small, dark and intimate, decorated with a hodgepodge of old fishing nets, glass balls, and sepia photographs of fishing boats. The tablecloths were red-and-white checked gingham and none of the chairs matched each other.

They shared a quart of mussels followed by locally caught fish, with a mountain of crisply fried chips.

‘Pudding?’ Jay looked hopefully at the list of home-made ice creams.

‘You have one. I’ll have a taste.’ In the event, he fed her almost half of the bowl of strawberry and raspberry ice. ‘Now I really can’t move.’

‘Yes, you can.’ He pulled her to her feet. ‘I want to walk along the harbour and then maybe up to the castle.’

The beach was emptying, as day visitors made for their cars, but many of the shops were open, catching some evening trade. As they wandered along, hand in hand, Madison felt a deep contentment stealing over her, and a small shadow of regret.

‘What is it?’ Jay stopped, leaning over the harbour wall to look at the boats.

‘Just thinking – of Neil.’ She looked out over the darkening sea. ‘Letting him go.’

Jay shifted to stand behind her, hands firm but gentle on her shoulders. She rested her back against his chest.

‘It was the right thing to do, to come here,’ she spoke softly, covering Jay’s hands with hers. They stood for a while, watching the bustle of boats that were taking fishing parties out for an evening’s sport.

Madison was the first to move. ‘Do we really have to walk all the way to the castle?’

They did, and were coming back again by a different route, one that led through a tangle of narrow-fronted shops, when Madison stopped in front of a multi-paned window, displaying candles and wind chimes and painted glass. A soft, sweet scent blew out from the open door.

‘I’d like to get some candles, for the bedroom.’

Jay shrugged, manlike. Madison stuck out her tongue and slipped through the beaded curtain into the shop, coming eye to eye with an enormous ginger cat, sitting on a shelf, just inside the door. She took a surprised step back. A woman with long blonde hair and an armful of bracelets got up from a small table, with a swish of skirts, smiling apologies.

‘Sorry about that. He likes to sleep high. I didn’t realise he’d got up there again. Go on, Humbug, move.’ She prodded the cat. ‘You have a perfectly good basket on the top of the fridge,’ she told him.

The cat yawned, taking his time to jump down and stalk into the back quarters.

Jay had come in through the curtain. The woman looked at him, seemed to decide that they were a couple, and turned to Madison. ‘What can I show you – or would you just like to look round?’

‘Candles, please.’

‘Scented?’ The woman indicated a display. ‘My sister makes them. The lavender comes from Caldy Island, where the monastery is. The other flowers and herbs are locally gathered, when she can get them.’

Madison chose half a dozen, in varying sizes and scents. The woman began packing them into a parcel, while Madison browsed the rest of the shop.

There were Celtic talismans and crystals amongst the glass and pottery. Jay, at her shoulder, picked up a squat jug, in the shape of a frog, and offered it to her. Shaking her head, laughing, she turned away, glancing down at the table where the woman had been sitting.

A Tarot pack lay spread out in a cross shape. Rich, bright colours shimmered. Madison recognised the Hanged Man and the Queen of Cups. The woman had finished the parcel.

‘Would you like—’ She nodded towards the cards.

‘Oh … No … I don’t really believe. I’m a scientist.’
Yeah, I read minds
.

The woman smiled. ‘No worries. A lot of people come in and are nervous of asking.’ She gave Madison a considering look, frowning slightly. For a second Madison thought she saw sympathy and understanding in the dark eyes. Then, whatever it was, it was gone.

‘You don’t have to believe in something for it to be true,’ the woman continued softly. ‘The future is the future. Even science doesn’t have it all.’

Gently, she took Madison’s hand, studied the palm. ‘Strength. You will need it. And your man, too.’ She nodded towards Jay. ‘You will be strong for each other.’

The woman looked up, into Madison’s eyes. ‘This one’s a keeper, hold him.’ It was barely a whisper. Madison wasn’t even sure she’d heard it. Then the woman smiled and folded Madison’s fingers into a fist. ‘Enjoy your stay and be lucky.’

She turned away as the cat reappeared in the doorway, dragging something behind him that looked suspiciously like a side of fresh salmon. ‘Humbug! What the hell have you done now?’

‘That was – a bit weird.’ Madison scrubbed her palm down her skirt. The skin was still tingling.

Jay stepped sideways to let a fisherman, loaded with tackle, squeeze past them on the narrow pavement outside the shop. ‘Local colour, for the holidaymakers. What she said, it didn’t bother you, did it?’

‘No, actually what she said was quite apt.’

‘But suitably cryptic.’

‘I suppose.’ She wound her hand into Jay’s. ‘It’s human nature, isn’t it, to want certainties?’ She shivered as cold fingers walked up her spine.

Jay hugged her to his side. ‘Right now I’ll settle for a future that has hot coffee and a comfortable bed in it.’ He yawned. ‘Does crossing the Severn Bridge give you jet lag?’

He changed his mind when he saw the fair. It was a tiny travelling set up, in a field by the side of the road, gaudy with lights and cheap music.

‘You want to stop?’ She was already slowing the car.

‘Don’t you?’

They wandered amongst the stalls and sideshows, clung together, screaming, in the waltzer and hung against the night in the miniature Ferris wheel. Madison shook her head when Jay pointed at the candy floss. Together they rolled coins at a target. Madison’s eyes bugged when the stall holder handed over a large stuffed toy.

‘Be grateful it wasn’t a goldfish.’ Jay dumped the beast in the back seat when they got back to the car. ‘Is it a mouse, or a squirrel?’

‘Mouse, I think. Different tail.’

Jay leaned over the seat to look. ‘I think you’re right.’

‘Where the hell am I going to put it?’ Madison was giggling as they fell into the living room of the cottage.

‘How about here?’ Jay arranged the mouse in the window seat. It sprawled, with its head on one side, grinning at them.

‘Next you’ll be wanting to give it a name.’

‘What I want,’ he grabbed her around the waist, dragging her down on to the sofa, ‘is you.’

He was pulling off her shoes, easing his fingers over her heels, making circles on the instep. Hot desire was spiralling up her legs and finding its target, in a way that made her gasp. Jay’s clever, caressing hands were travelling now, up her calf, around her knees. She couldn’t breath. When he looked up, his eyes had a devilish light in them. When he reached the inside of her thigh, she thought she might melt. She was drowning, incapable of saving herself. He was laughing as he abandoned the torment and moved to pull her into his arms. She felt the vibration of his chest.
Sexy as hell.

Jay inhaled Madison’s scent, and felt his mind go flat. He wanted to throw his thoughts into her, as well as his body, but the shred of sanity that remained knew that it was wrong. He held on to his control, feeling her tremble under him. Then he let her take him, drawing him down until he couldn’t tell where he ended and she began.

In bed, they made love again, lazily, by the light and scent of the candles, and then lay in the dark, listening to the sound of the sea drifting in softly through the open window.

‘Glad we came here?’ Madison propped herself on her elbow, fiddling with Jay’s hair. His body was relaxed, his eyes half-closed.

‘Uh-huh.’ She had to bend to hear the mumble.

‘Go to sleep.’ She kissed his cheek.

‘G’night.’

Madison settled a pillow behind her head. She’d extinguished the candles. The curtains were open, but it was too early for the moon. Jay was a dark shape in the bed beside her. His breathing was deep and regular. The faint, lingering scent of lavender and thyme drifted over the room. A bittersweet ache was radiating out from somewhere, deep under her heart. This evening had been …

Her mind hesitated, unable to put it into words, but knowing that special wasn’t enough.

She breathed deeply, staring into the darkness, clear eyed.

A keeper. To hold
. The fortune teller’s words whispered in her head, crystallising what had been there for – minutes, hours, days?

She was perilously close to falling in love with Jay.

‘What do you mean, they’ve gone?’ Alec forced himself not to grip the phone hard enough to shatter it. ‘Where?’

Vic’s voice was close to a whine, justifying himself. Alec cut in, brutally. ‘I don’t give a shit about painters and maintenance men. Where the fuck are they?’

He began to pace, kicking a coffee table aside when it got in his way. Panic was swelling inside him like an inflating balloon, shoving air out of his lungs. He had to struggle not to fling the phone after the table. ‘What did the guy at the apartment block say? Word for word. Just for the weekend – you’re sure of that? Definitely coming back? On Tuesday. And there was nothing in the apartment or the office to indicate that she’d broken through? They weren’t running?’

The negative from the end of the phone had him breathing a little easier. ‘Do what you can to find them. Call me if you do. Call me anyway. Two hours. Pump the concierge at the apartment block again. And the woman, Albi’s cleaner. Does she work in the building on Saturday? Then send the flower delivery guy, she gossips to him. If she knows anything, he’ll get it. I don’t care,’ he yelled into the phone. ‘I don’t
care
if it’s a holiday. I don’t
care
if we sent flowers yesterday. Order more. I’ll pay for the sodding bouquet. I’ll pay for the whole bloody flower shop! And go back to the lab. Trash Albi’s office if you have to. Whatever it takes, just do it! If you don’t find them? We sweat it, until Tuesday. And you might want to pray.’

‘This is …’ Madison stopped, chest heaving, to look out from the cliff walk. The long expanse of sand below had the colour of spilt champagne. The sea was coming in lazily, making patterns like lace, before running back down the gentle slope of the beach. ‘Can we get down?’

‘I think so.’ Jay put his arm up to shield his eyes from the bright sunlight. ‘That way.’ He pointed to the steep path to the shore.

They walked along the edge of the sea. Madison caught her breath at the contrast between the cold of the water, washing over her toes, and the hot sun on her back. They watched the gulls and ate a picnic of fresh rolls and ham and local cheese, sitting on a sun-warmed rock. There were seaweed-crusted rock pools, with limpets and small crabs. Far out, the sea raced and boiled. The red flag, alerting bathers to the currents, flapped in the sudden breeze.

The way back to the car, once they had climbed up again from the beach, was mostly downhill and easier.

They were on the last descent when the distant sound of gunfire split the stillness.

Madison jumped, her heart racing in panic as she turned to Jay, wide-eyed.

‘It’s okay. There’s an army range.’ He gestured to a notice, half-hidden in long grass. ‘It’s not close. The wind must be blowing this way.’ He grinned. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll throw myself in front of the bullets.’ Jay grabbed her hand, pulled her to him and kissed her. His hands cupped her buttocks, provocatively.

‘Jay!’ She was laughing and trying to put a warning note in her voice, all at the same time. ‘Not now, and not here!’

‘Why not?’ He nuzzled into the V of her blouse. ‘Alfresco sex—’

The sound of a polite throat clearing, behind them, had them breaking apart, giggling. A group of serious walkers, booted and weighted down with equipment, filed decorously past them.

‘That’s why not.’ She softened the words with a kiss. ‘Look out, more coming.’ They stepped off the path again to let the next party through. Madison rested against Jay, looking up into his face His eyes were clear, the colour of the sky, and the wind had ravelled his hair into a tangled halo.

It would be so easy to love this man.

She held the thought for a heartbeat, then let it go.

They had this time, and the sun, and the air, and the sea birds calling above.

Keep it simple. Don’t let him know, not when you don’t really know yourself
.

Jay lay on his back, on a tiny square of grass, watching the patterns made by the dappled sun through the branches of the apple tree. Behind him, in the cottage, he could hear Madison pottering in the kitchen. They were meant to be exploring another castle this afternoon, but somehow his bones seemed to have melted. He didn’t want to move. Maybe he’d just lie here, relaxed, for the rest of the day. At peace.

You can have this, if you want.
He went totally still at the thought
. You just have to begin again. If you have Madison, why do you need your memory?

His throat had gone dry. For a moment, even in the sunshine, darkness threatened to close over him, and then he was through it, blinking.

He could call it all off, now. Live with what he had. Stop looking for whatever was in his past. Find a job, start a new life.

With Madison

The prospect glittered in front of his eyes, like the sun on the sea.
Do you really need to know? When you could have all this?

He sat up slowly. Could he ask Madison to give up on all the work she’d done? To wait for him, while he put some sort of life together? Some sort of future for both of them? Was he that bloody arrogant?

He rolled over, thinking that maybe he was.
Maybe?

She was coming towards him, long and slim and beautiful, with light catching her hair and a smile to break hearts.

Especially his.

‘You’re very quiet.’ Madison nudged him with her foot. She was sitting on the bench, watching him sleep on the grass, except that he could tell that she knew he wasn’t really asleep. A small frown creased between her brows.

‘Just too lazy to talk.’ He heaved himself up, to look directly at her. She’d agreed to pass on the castle, with some relief, he suspected. She was looking at him now with a puzzled expression. He could feel words clogging on his tongue. Should he tell her what he’d been thinking? Ask her
? Can we stop looking for who I am?
Would you give it all up, for me?
He opened his mouth, and lost his nerve. She was waiting for him to speak. ‘You want to walk down to the bay?’ was what came out.

The way down was steep but the perfectly empty sweep was worth the effort. They walked beside the water. Jay looked back at their footprints in the wet sand. So close. Meant to be together? ‘Madison … if I was to—’

She turned towards him, face alight. ‘Did you see that? I think there’s something out there.’ She pointed out to sea. ‘Some sort of big fish – or maybe a seal? If we climb up there, on that rock, we can see better.’

They decided, in the end, that it might be a seal.

Going back, the ascent to the cottage demanded enough breath to keep conversation to a minimum. By the time they reached the top, Jay had made a decision of sorts. He’d keep his mouth shut, at least until they were back in London.

Don’t wreck something this good.

‘How about dinner and a movie tonight? I think there’s a cinema in Tenby.’ Madison handed him a beer and clinked ice into a glass of mineral water for herself.

‘You mean a proper date? Scary movie, popcorn, necking in the back row?’ He grinned. ‘You’re on. How do we find out what and where?’

‘There might be something on the tourist information website. I’ll get the laptop from the car.’

‘I can go.’

‘No, it’s okay. I want to look for my other sunglasses. Go sit in the garden and drink your beer.’ She shooed him out, laughing.

Madison opened the boot and pulled out the computer. Her briefcase shifted, banging her hand as she lifted the laptop. A brown envelope was poking out of the pocket on the side of the case. She was stuffing it back in when she realised what it was. The missing test results.

She vacillated for a moment. She’d said no work this weekend. Wednesday would be soon enough to enter them. On the other hand, it wouldn’t take more than a second and the job would be done. And as she could never seem to remember to do it when she was actually at the lab—

She pulled the results sheet out of the envelope.

‘Madison?’ Jay came around the side of the cottage and found her, sitting on the back seat of the car, with the door open. ‘What is it?’

‘This.’ She put a piece of paper into his hand.

‘Hey, I thought we had a deal? No work?’ Her expression stopped him. Something cold nudged his heart. ‘Okay. What am I looking at?’ He could see it was lab results, lists and graphs of chemicals and percentages.

‘Here.’ She pointed to a name at the bottom of the list. ‘These are your test results from a few weeks back. I’ve been monitoring the residual levels of chemicals in your blood.’

‘And?’ The concern on her face sent a spike of alarm into his guts, though the percentage against the compound was reassuringly tiny. ‘What is it? Arsenic? Radioactivity?’

‘It’s something very experimental. They’re testing it, in Switzerland.’ She looked up. He saw fear in her eyes. ‘It shouldn’t be there, Jay. I never gave it to you.’